


The Chains to Freedom

by brokenspell77



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Prison, Angst, Basically standard prison life, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Prison, Prison Officer!Rob, Prisoner!Aaron - Freeform, References to Drugs, Slow Burn, Slurs, Swearing, Violence, mentions of sexual abuse, nothing in detail though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-11-03 12:29:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 99,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenspell77/pseuds/brokenspell77
Summary: Robert has been made redundant from the company he worked for in London and at the behest of his fiancée Chrissie they move to Hotten to be nearer her father. A new career path is forced upon him and soon Robert is walking through the gates of HMP Hotten. Inside the walls of the prison Robert finds more than he bargained for in a prisoner called Aaron Dingle who turns his life upside down. Both men have demons they need to face and hard choices to make, but will they find the strength they need in each other?Prison Officer Robert/Inmate Aaron AU.





	1. Welcome to HMP Hotten

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi chapter Robron fic and to say I'm nervous about it is an understatement. I'm hoping there won't be massive gaps between updates, but I will admit to not being the speediest of writers! Fingers crossed though that I'll hit the ground running with it.
> 
> I also just want to warn readers that there will be violence, drug use and language that may offend. I will say now I don't condone any of this, but it's a story set in a prison and I had to remain faithful to that environment. There will also be prison language and terms used as well.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77

 

 

The heavy gates closed behind with a loud boom. The steel frame around the oak wood doors rattling in its frame as the world was shut out. Robert glanced around him with a heavy sigh as he stepped up to the lodge and dropping his car keys down the connecting tunnel.

''Name?'' The officer in the lodge asked sounding on the brink of despair at the boring nature of his role in the prison. Robert couldn't blame the guy; standing in the security lodge signing people in and out, swapping keys over, checking the cameras all day sounded positively tedious. Not that Robert believed his own role was much of a step up. It was with great reluctance he even stepped foot into HMP Hotten in the first place.

''Robert Sugden.'' He answered, his own weary tone practically matching that of his new colleagues. ''It's my first day.''

The sign-in list affixed to a clipboard was shoved at him and he quickly scrawled his details down before taking the prison issue keys that were offered to him. He mustered up enough cheer to wish the officer a good day and he nodded politely as he passed through the second set of gates. These were tall and steel. The deep royal blue paintwork had chipped and peeled, they'd probably not been given a fresh lick of paint in decades Robert thought idly.

He passed through the many halls and corridors to the locker room which was quiet and empty save for two officers who offered a welcome and handshake after the cursory introductions. Robert safely stored his wallet, phone, his lunch, his leather jacket, a spare change of uniform and a fresh set of casual clothes in the locker and headed toward the Prison Governor's office. To some Hotten Prison would seem like a labyrinth, but after passing the POST assessment he was quickly ushered in and given the grand tour by the Governor Lawrence White.

Lawrence had been in corrections for over twenty years. He had started off where Robert was as a low ranked prison officer, but had swiftly made his way up the ranks upgrading to Senior Officer, Principal Officer, a Wing Governor and finally the position he had currently held in HMP Hotten for 11 years. Lawrence knew a lot of people in high places within the system and had a record of carrying Hotten Prison to being one of the better prisons in the country. The weight of expectation on Robert's shoulders was even higher when you factored in that Lawrence would soon be Robert's father-in-law.

He met Lawrence's daughter Chrissie just over 2 years ago. They had met at a conference when Robert was immersed in the corporate world. He was a high flying manager at a building and plumbing firm down in London and Chrissie was looking to invest in local businesses by spending the rather vast fortune that her family had accumulated. As a young man Lawrence had his own machinery business and when he sold it he made a substantial profit and Chrissie had certainly made the most of her families wealth. She was the quintessential rich girl. She was stuck up and believed she was above everyone else and often treated people as if they were something she had trodden in. Despite the rather sour personality Robert was attracted to her on a superficial level and having her on his arm increased his own social status. Rather quickly they found themselves living together in a lavish studio apartment on the outskirts of Notting Hill.

Upon his first meeting with Lawrence he knew impressing the older man would be an uphill battle. Robert considered Chrissie to be snobby, but her father reached new heights. His nose was in the stratosphere. The moment he learned of Robert's humble beginnings of living and working on a farm in Yorkshire his mind was made up; Robert would never be good enough for his darling daughter. Originally Robert had hoped to sway that perception, but he soon came to realise it was futile. Instead at every snide remark fired his way Robert would shoot right back. Chrissie was often in the middle trying to diffuse arguments between the two men in her life, and the tension only intensified when Robert proposed.

Soon after their engagement Robert was blindsided by the company he worked for tumbling into administration and he was made redundant. Lawrence revelled in his misfortune and used his unemployed status as ammunition to belittle him at every turn. Robert didn't want any old job, he wanted to return to the corporate world, return to his former glory and not take three steps down the ladder. However jobs were few and far between and ultimately Chrissie made the decision to move back north to Hotten, ironically in Yorkshire where he was born and bred, to be near Lawrence. A massive rift was born in that moment between the engaged couple as having Lawrence in his life even more was the very last thing Robert needed. Or wanted for that matter.

It wasn't long after they settled in their new home; which was not as extravagant as their place in London, but still at the higher end of the market, that Chrissie voiced her opinion that Robert should work with her father. He vehemently fought against her, but as more months passed and with no success of finding a job he wanted, plus ample pressure and a thunderous argument between soon to be husband and wife Robert caved in. He didn't feel he had much in the way of options in all honesty. So he applied to be a prison officer and with little trouble he flew through the process of POST, medical and fitness tests. The only issue he could foresee would be that of his father-in-law. Who was also now his boss!

Lawrence had told him in no uncertain terms that if he put one foot wrong he wouldn't hesitate in firing him and the only reason he had the job in the first place was because of Chrissie. In the same breath as congratulating him on passing the multiple tests Lawrence had told him he'd take great pleasure in proving to his daughter that he wasn't good enough to be with her or the White family.

Robert stood outside the office door and looked down at his uniform smoothing out the black jumper and slacks and adjusted the collar of the new crisp white shirt before knocking loudly on the door so the old codger could actually hear. The familiar booming voice told him to enter and he was met with a surveying look from Lawrence as if he was desperate to find something wrong or not as pristine as it should be. However he remained silent. Robert smirked as he sat on the opposite side of the brobdingnagian desk thinking that's at least one victory for himself.

''Right, we'll have to make this quick as I'm rather snowed under currently. You've been assigned to E wing, but unfortunately your Wing Governor is on leave for the next fortnight. Principal Officer Fenwick is overseeing the wing so if you have any problems see him. Luckily I've already given you the tour and you have learnt the basics in training.'' Lawrence rifled through a desk drawer and produced three files. Yet instead of handing them over politely he chucked them across the desk in Robert's direction. ''Here are the prisoners on your wing that you will be Personal Officer too. Keep them in line. Any problems and it will reflect negatively on you, Robert.''

''I'm sure it will.'' Robert muttered under his breath as he made a perfunctory glance over the files. He wouldn't be surprised to be given three of the worst troublemakers on the wing. It wouldn't be beneath Lawrence to set him up to fail.

''You should know E wing has been a particular problem block of my prison as of late. The drug trade is rife on that wing and causing many problems. We've had two overdoses in a month so keep your eye out. All staff on that wing have been briefed and tasked to cut off the supply. Understood?''

''Sure.'' Robert scoffed and smiled wryly at the patronising tone. ''Is that everything?'' He queried, desperate to get through at least his first day without clashing with Lawrence in his new job. ''I'm keen to get on the wing and get started.''

Lawrence stood and guided Robert toward the office door. ''One final thing, Robert. You have this job because of Chrissie.'' He reminded him again. ''I didn't want you here. She did. You step an inch out of line and I won't hesitate to throw you out and make it clear to Chrissie you are not the man for her.''

Robert scoffed and smirked unable to bite his tongue any longer. ''How has that worked out for you so far?'' Lawrence glared at him and Robert couldn't help but let out a satisfied chuckle. ''Exactly. See you later, _boss_.''

...............................

Aaron was fed up of staring at the same ceiling. Following every crack that he had long ago memorised. He had seen countless shapes and faces in the ceiling above his bed. It wasn't as if he had much else to occupy his mind in a 6 by 8 foot cell. For 4 years the cell had been his home and it would be for another 21.

A murder conviction brought him to HMP Hotten as a 21 year old with a past that haunted him and demons that had been eating away at him for years. The judge at his trial had sentenced him to 25 years imprisonment, calling his crime despicable, wicked and evil. He only escaped a life sentence for pleading guilty. And he was. He had and never would deny that. A life was ended at his hand. End of story.

He always figured he would wind up in prison. Or at least that's what he had been told repeatedly by his parents and other adults. It wasn't a surprise that he started to believe them. He suspected either jail or he'd be dead. Maybe he could cross both off the list.

His whole life had been one fucked up mess since he was a child. His life unravelling and spinning out of control at a far too tender age, and every time there seemed to be a ray of light there would be a bump in the road and the clouds would hang thick, heavy and black over his head. Since he revealed his guilt his Mum, his Uncle, his entire family and friends had cut him off and disowned him. He was completely alone. No support system. No one that cared.

The minute those steel gates closed behind him and he began his sentence he had given up. Instead of fighting against the dark path he was dumped on as child he succumbed to it. He decided to be the man that everyone believed he had always been; a violent, rude, abrasive, murdering thug. It had only taken days before he had his first fight in prison. One thing Aaron had learnt in his life was how to use his fists effectively. Despite not being the aggressor and being oblivious to the attack he had won the fight and battered his fellow inmate without repentance. Further fights took place as the months passed and it wasn't long before he had created a reputation and caught the attention of the reigning top dog.

Jason Cook is a vicious, violent bigot who had ran E wing for years. He held no respect for the officers or the law. A multiple offender for GBH, theft, arson and more. A criminal through and through and he was proud of it. He had cornered the drug market on the wing and all drugs bought and sold went through him.

One day he had come knocking at Aaron's cell door. Aaron had made an impact in the six months he had been in HMP Hotten, he heard his name thrown about and the moment Jason appeared in the doorway he expected a fight, considered Jason to view him as a threat to his status despite Aaron having no designs on it whatsoever. What he received however was companionship. Jason had marvelled over his fights and wanted him as an ally. As Aaron pondered his decision over the following days his suspicions were validated as he heard other inmates' quiet whispers that Jason saw him as a threat. For Aaron the choice was simple, he really didn't have any desire to challenge Jason for the position of top dog and accepted the offer of becoming a part of Jason's inner circle.

As a member of his crew Aaron quickly found himself involved heavily in the drug trade. Jason made him deal, collecting the orders and dishing out the product. Soon he was even sampling it himself and found an addiction all of his own. Avoiding the heavier types such as heroin and crack, he instead got hooked on spice. It numbed the pain built up inside, wiped out the memories and silenced the roaring demons in his head. Every time Jason wanted to initiate new inmates to how he runs things Aaron would always be there. Watching Jason kick the shit out of scared lads who were first timers ate at his conscience, but what else could he do? He was a criminal now. He was scum. A cold blooded killer. At least that's what he reminded himself.

He looked out of the tiny cell window seeing blue sky stretching out as far as he could see. Every image losing it's beauty by the steel bars and barbed wire that obscured it. He was sick of it all. He had nothing. No life. No belongings. Just the same four walls, a bed and a toilet in the corner. He didn't want to rely on drugs, but he was too far down the rabbit hole. He wanted to kick it, but then the itch returned, all the agony rushed back in and he found himself going back for more every single time. He didn't want to be like Jason either, but he was tangled in his web now. He definitely didn't want to be in prison, but there was no escape other than hammering in the final nail in his coffin himself. He had already tried ending his own life when he was a free man. He even failed at that.

Aaron didn't want this life. Never wanted this life. But his road was mapped out and the destination chosen long ago and not by him. He wasn't sure he could keep going anymore.

Another 21 years...it would kill him.

.................................

Robert's first day had rushed by in a haze. After the morning meeting on E wing he was assigned to reception with Officer Lucy Dale to learn the process of new arrivals. Unfortunately there were 10 new inmates arriving into HMP Hotten that morning and it took over half his shift before he had completed the task. Having to go through all the prisoners contact information, dietary needs, medical requirements, the incredibly unpleasant strip search(which he had to do as the male officer), escorting them to the prison doctor for the mandatory check up and physical, and finally assigning them to their wings and cells was a time consuming exercise. That was slowed even further by Lucy slowing the process down for his benefit. He didn't want to seem rude to her, but it was hardly rocket science and he certainly didn't need anything explained in such detail.

Once 2pm had rolled on by he was glad to have a sit down in the staff room and fill his rumbling stomach. He greeted yet more colleagues and made idle chit chat as he tucked into his hummus and coriander sandwich. The lunch hour disappeared in a flash and he finally got escorted around the infamous E wing. The main part of the wing consisted of three landings; E1, E2 and E3. The wings in HMP Hotten generally held between 60 to 80 inmates each and the cells ranged from singles, to doubles and 1 four bed dorm on the bottom landing. Just outside the main part of the wing where the inmates were housed was an area with chairs, sofas, widescreen TV's and gaming consoles and a pool table. Robert shook his head at the sight of the luxuries, no wonder the general public thought prison was nothing more than a holiday camp. Not to mention some prisoners preferring a life behind bars with such amenities at hand.

He could see the inmates eyeing him up trying to gauge what kind of officer he would be. As far as the inmates were concerned you generally fell into one of two categories; either you were a pushover or hard as nails. There wasn't an in between. At least that was what his more experienced colleagues kept informing him anyway. Robert had no intention of being walked all over and having his authority be ignored, so he guessed he would fall into the latter category.

''Oh look a new screw lads.'' A prisoner yelled as he smirked over at Robert and Principal Officer Fenwick. The man had a skinhead, and was full of bravado with a whole group surrounding him.

''Shut it, Jason.'' Fenwick reprimanded before turning to Robert and lowering his voice. ''Keep an eye on that one, right troublemaker. He's top dog and we're certain he is the main drug supplier on the wing.''

''And we can't prove that?'' Robert queried. If Jason was the known supplier surely if you sever that link the supply would be cut off?

''No. Jason never gets his hands dirty. He relies on his little minions Smith, Edwards, Linton and Dingle.'' Fenwick explained. ''We've busted them a few times with minimal amounts of weed, spice, meth, you name it, but they never give up Jason's name. Can't really blame them, he's a maniac.''

''What's he in for?'' Robert asked as he caught Jason's stare. The man scoffed and said something to his gang and right on cue they burst out laughing all looking in Robert's direction. He assumed it was a rather poor attempt at intimidation and he realised that he may have his work cut out with Jason, but he wouldn't back down and that scumbag would learn that fact sooner or later.

''He was initially in for GBH, arson and other minor offences. Since he's been here though he's added two more GBH charges as well as a murder charge.''

As Robert digested the startling facts about the so called top dog another inmate caught his eye. He seemed to be on the outer orbit of Jason's gang. He was sat on the stairs that took you from E1 to E2. He had short brunette hair, a beard and striking blue eyes. The man looked distant and subdued, a far cry from the raucous nature of the rest of Jason's crew. His eyes were blood shot, he looked absolutely miserable and like he hadn't slept in days. His body gently rocked back and forth, his arms wrapped protectively around his middle and his hands hidden in the sleeves of his maroon prison issue sweater.

''Who's the guy sat on the stairs?'' Robert asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

''Aaron Dingle. Jailed for murder.''

Robert couldn't help the surprise that fell over his face. He wasn't naive to think the man was an angel and he was obviously in prison for a reason, but the young man didn't look or act like a murderer in his opinion. Robert reminded himself that he could not take anything at face value in this environment, but he couldn't silence the niggling feeling in his gut that there was something unknown, something hidden and buried deep about Aaron Dingle.

...............................

Robert all but fell onto the bench in the locker room. It was gone 6pm and his shift had ended an hour ago, but he got held up with Fenwick going through the solitary and adjudication procedure. If his job was this manic every day Robert was going to be exhausted inside a month. His feet throbbed and his back ached from being hunched over paperwork for the vast majority of the day. His head felt as though there was a ten ton truck parked on it; the paracetamol he had taken a couple of hours ago barely affecting the pain reverberating inside his skull.

Robert checked his phone that he had ditched in his locker that morning to see multiple missed calls and texts from Chrissie. He rolled his eyes knowing it was likely he'd get an earful the moment he was through the door when he arrived home. Chrissie was a stranger to work and wouldn't understand the concept of not being able to have your phone on your person at all times of the day and night. He scrolled through the texts at a pace, skimming over them and realised most were her banging on about wedding venues, decorations, cake and dresses. As much as he wanted to marry her he was fed up of every conversation they had being about their nuptials.

He swung his leather jacket around his shoulders and pocketed his phone. He then remembered the files Lawrence had given him that morning. After the hectic beginning of his day with the new arrivals and his eagerness to eat before he passed out from hunger he had shoved them into his locker and promptly forgot all about them. He snatched them wearily and sat back on the bench behind him and opened each one to learn what prisoners he would be Personal Officer too. At least if Lawrence questioned him he would know their names and their crimes at the very least. He could bullshit his way through anything else.

After flicking through the first two noting that both were relatively low key offenders he came to the last of the trio and the final name caught his attention and brought a wry smile to his face. He was right when he suspected Lawrence would give him a challenge and a challenge it would most definitely be especially when factoring in the company this particular inmate kept. However Robert felt up to the test and maintained his belief there was more than met the eye when it came to the man he observed earlier.

Prisoner D130501: Aaron Dingle.

.........................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh so Robert is Aaron's personal officer so they should be in each others orbit a lot more moving forward. YES!!! Is Robert correct when he thinks there is more to Aaron than being just another criminal/murderer?
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	2. Survival of the Fittest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all that read the first chapter. This story is a big challenge for me and hopefully I'll manage to do a decent job.
> 
> I just want to give a warning that there are some dark moments in this chapter, however they're more alluded to/implied than outright described. I gave Jason the surname Cook simply because the real life actors surname was that and it seemed a logical choice. Also if there is any confusion with the prison terms/language feel free to ask. :)
> 
> If you wish you can follow me on twitter @brokenspell77

The early morning bustle and chaos in the prison canteen had started to dwindle as most inmates were finally seated and tucking into their breakfast. An indistinct hum of conversation drifted across the room, yet Aaron barely registered a word of it. He pushed the traditional all English breakfast around his plate finding it particularly unappetising that morning. He missed pizza. He missed Chinese food. He just missed variety. For 4 years his diet had consisted of the same meals week in and week out. He was disgruntled at the routine that his life had become.

''You not having that, mate?'' Jason asked as stabbed at a sausage on Aaron's plate with his fork, not even waiting for answer. Jason's motto was see, want, take. ''More for me I guess.''

Aaron looked on as Jason devoured the food in two bites, chewing ridiculously loudly and with his mouth open. Aaron hated that. He'd never claim to have the best table manners in the world, after all he'd lost count of how many times his Mum had chastised him for slurping the remnants of milk from his bowl after finishing his cereal, but Jason's table manners were non-existent.

Suddenly a loud taunting whistle pierced the air and everyone turned in the direction of a gate being opened. New inmates were ushered in and flanked by officers as they were guided toward the serving station at the end of the spacious room.

''Looks like we'll have a busy day lads.'' Jason proclaimed menacingly. ''The new fish have entered the pond.''

Aaron's heart sank at what he knew was to come. Every time new inmates arrived on E wing Jason would introduce himself and it was never a polite or pleasant introduction. He'd intimidate them, ensuring to leave them certain of who was in charge. He'd question them about whether they wanted to step up and challenge his status and of course none did. The majority of new inmates were first offenders, desperate to fly below the radar and scared shitless and Jason was all too aware of that. He was like a shark smelling blood in the water when he saw weakness. He saw it as something to exploit.

His main objectives consisted of ordering Aaron and others to go through their belongings and steal whatever they knew he would want, as well as anything else that took their own fancy. Aaron loathed himself for being involved, but he had crossed that line in the sand long ago and now he wasn't even sure where that line even was. He had been told before when he had minor brushes with the law that prison can change people. Most it changed for the worst. Few for the better. Aaron detested that it had changed him for the worst.

Refusal to comply to Jason's will wasn't an option anyway. He never took defiance well. The murder he had perpetrated inside the very walls of HMP Hotten had been because one of his gang had wanted out. He told Jason he wanted nothing more to do with the beatings and the dealing and for a while it seemed Jason accepted his decision. However the poor bastard was just being lulled into a false sense of security and he realised that far too late. Jason slit his throat open from ear to ear and the message to every prisoner was clear; you don't turn your back on Jason Cook without severe repercussions.

So Aaron was trapped in a prison inside of a prison. There was only one way out for him and for some reason he couldn't fathom he couldn't quite seem to pull that trigger. It ran around frequently in his mind, but maybe somewhere deep down inside he had one final shred of hope left inside. He had no clue what hope that was for or where it lingered, but he was still breathing and that counted for something. The internal struggle of living with his actions was getting tougher to ignore however. Standing idly by as Jason wreaked havoc and pain all over the wing gnawed away at him more and more.

He vowed to never take anything from the new arrivals for himself. Only ever grabbing stuff that he knew Jason would appreciate. Just enough to keep the psychopath sweet and off his back. As much as he hated doing such a despicable act it beat the alternative.

Whilst Aaron and two others would go through their personal affects, Jason and the rest would take the inmate somewhere discreet and force a strip search to look for drugs. Aaron had heard horrific recounts of what happened to those men. Stripped, degraded and sometimes if any drugs were found way worse would be inflicted. They would be violated in the most heinous of ways and their stash would of course be taken and pocketed by Jason. Then the beating would commence. They'd be left in a heap on the floor. Bruised and bloody from head to toe with broken and shattered bones accompanying them. Weeks would pass recuperating on the hospital wing, but sooner or later those very same junkies would approach Jason desperate for a hit.

For Aaron it was getting harder to look in the mirror. The man that stared back at him wasn't the man he wanted to be. The reflection of a monster. He had enough monsters in his life without becoming one himself.

''Oi! Dingle are you even listening to me?'' Jason hissed across the table.

''What?'' Aaron mumbled as he left the dark recesses of his own spiralling mind. ''Sorry was miles away.''

''I said with Linton in solitary I'll need you with me for the fish initiation.'' Jason informed him with frightening nonchalance.

Aaron often wondered if Jason ever felt any remorse. Did he ever struggle to sleep at night. The longer he had been associated with Jason the more Aaron doubted he did. One thing was indisputable Aaron sure did. He had spent countless guilt ridden nights staring out of his cell window wishing he wasn't involved in that world and that the beauty of the night sky wasn't obscured by steel bars and barbed wire. But Jason, he was stone cold with a black heart and Aaron was constantly battling for that to never be in his future.

''What?! No I'll go through their shit like always instead!'' Aaron protested. He couldn't watch what Jason did to them. It was bad enough that he knew what occurred in the first place, but to actually witness first hand, to hold another person down as they were degraded he couldn't handle that.

''Are you refusing an order, Dingle?'' Jason asked him, his eyes dark and threatening. Jason always got what he wanted and Aaron knew he couldn't defy him. At least not without creating a serious problem for himself. Aaron hated the old adage, but life in prison really was survival of the fittest.

He had to fall in line. Be the loyal follower. It was self preservation at its finest.

.....................

Robert ceased his scribbling over the copious amount of paperwork and glanced at Aaron noticing his anxious demeanour. His gaze was restless, buzzing erratically around like a bee in the summer heat as it flew from flower to flower. He could hear Aaron's foot tapping without rhythm under the table that separated them. Finger nail after finger nail was gnawed and chewed. Robert wanted to discover the reason behind his agitation, wondering if it simply came down to Aaron not enjoying such formal meetings. He understood most prisoners weren't fond of them, Robert himself never relished in his life being analysed, but Aaron was bordering on pure panic.

''Right Aaron.'' Robert started, putting an end to the deafening silence. ''I'm Officer Sugden and I'm your new Personal Officer. I just wanted to spend a little time with you to talk through how to make the best of your time in here and what goals we could set for the future?''

Aaron's nerves seemed to lessen and narrowed eyes fired in Robert's direction. Irritation now seemed to be at the forefront and heckles raised. ''You might wanna read my file again, mate. I'm a lifer.'' Aaron sank back into his chair and shoved another nail between his teeth.

''You could get out of here one day, Aaron.'' Robert reminded him as he flicked open the prison file marked Prisoner D130501: Aaron Dingle to check back over the information. ''You were sentenced to 25 years, not life. On good behaviour you could be out even earlier.''

Aaron huffed out a bitter laugh, one that sounded worn down by the system. ''Yeah right. I'm sure the board can't wait to give me parole.''

Robert was stunned at how defeated the young man appeared to be. Most convicts had one date in their mind the minute those heavy gates slammed shut behind them and that was their release date. Yet Aaron never even believed he'd see the day where he would return to society.

''So you've never thought of what will happen in 21 years when you leave this place?'' Robert questioned, wanting to uncover the reasons for Aaron's frame of mind. His own mind was swirling with possible scenarios, but until Aaron confided in him he felt he couldn't help.

''In 21 years I'll be 46 years old and an ex-con. No one will want anything to do with me. That's even if I ever get out of here.''

''Why wouldn't you?'' Robert didn't hold back wanting to understand the man sat opposite him. Aaron was dismissing the notion of a future and for some strange reason Robert felt concerned for his safety. He had no valid reason for it. He was well aware of the company Aaron kept which pretty much guaranteed security unless someone was willing to challenge Cook for top dog. Perturbed Robert pushed on. ''Is there someone you're having issues with?''

Aaron shook his head and snorted derisively. ''This is prison. You don't have to have an issue with anyone to still get shanked.''

Robert felt rather embarrassed by the response. He wasn't naive, he didn't think for a second that prison life would be a walk in the park, but he couldn't help the niggling feeling there was more to Aaron's attitude. He couldn't imagine the toll it would take mentally to always have to be aware of everyone around you, ready to protect and strike back at any given moment. Prison was a pressure cooker and an explosion could happen at any time. Volatility was a staple of many men being kept under lock and key in Hotten Prison.

Robert took a breath wanting to salvage their meeting. So far it had been disastrous and instead of creating some form of connection with the prisoner in his charge, he seemed to be driving a wedge the size of the grand canyon between them. He opted to go for a different approach.

''It says in your file you were a mechanic before being sent down. Would you not want to return to that?'' Robert watched as a flicker of what he believed sadness swept over Aaron's face before being driven away by a well practiced scowl. It was unmistakable though and Robert saw his mask slip for that split second. ''It's a good thing you have a skill to fall back on.''

''My cousin owns the garage I worked at and my family have all disowned me since I...since I got sent down.''

Robert noticed the resistance in Aaron voicing his crime. He wondered if Aaron had ever truly accepted what he had done. Robert remembered from Dingle's file that he pleaded guilty, but to actually process and live with your actions was a different story altogether. Sensing the increasing tension in the man Robert decided against pursuing that thought, but made a note on the paperwork to bring it up in the future.

''There's other garages. Or if you're interested you can learn other skills during your sentence.'' Robert produced a list of different workshops available to all inmates and slid it over the table to Aaron.

Aaron stared at it before meeting Officer Sugden's gaze. ''No thanks.'' He sneered and shoved the leaflet back in the direction it came and suddenly stood and his chair toppled over and clattered on the ground.

Robert could tell Aaron was losing control of his temper and he didn't want to make matters worse, but this time he couldn't bite his tongue. ''Why are you so worked up? Is it because you don't want to be free again? You think you don't deserve to be? Or are you scared to be?''

''You don't know a damn thing about me!'' Aaron bellowed, the eruption finally arriving. Hot molten lava seeped from every pore as Aaron's palms slammed down onto the table and his glare burnt a hole right through Robert. ''So just shut your mouth, right?!''

''Aaron, the last thing I want to do is upset you...''

''You're not. You're pissing me off!'' Aaron interrupted as he begun to pace like a caged animal. Robert took note of the clenched fists and steeled himself for a potential violent retaliation. He didn't want the situation to get out control. That wouldn't look good for him or for Aaron. Plus Lawrence would pounce on any opportunity to belittle and undermine him.

''Okay, well I don't want that either.'' Robert attempted to soothe as he mirrored Aaron's stance. ''What I do want is for you to actually realise you will have a life after this place. It may feel so far away right now, but it will arrive. Just think about it?''

Aaron shook his head and Robert was stunned. He was expecting more yelling, even a threat or violent action. Instead all he saw was the anger dissipate and morph into something much more solemn. Almost heartbreaking.

''Nah, the only way I'll leave this place is in a box.''

Robert saw the tears pooling in blue eyes and he wished he had the words or actions to help the tortured soul. Aaron didn't hang around. In a flash he had turned and swung the door to the meeting room open and rushed away. Robert hastily picked up all the notes and files and followed in Aaron's footsteps. Down the corridor he saw a fellow officer opening the gate so Aaron could return to the wing and he let him go. He had pushed him far enough. Maybe even too far.

But Robert's initial feeling of there being more to Aaron Dingle had only increased after their brief meeting. Robert could sense Aaron hiding and blocking out his previous life. He was determined to find out what Aaron was running from. And he vowed that Aaron wouldn't be leaving HMP Hotten in a box.

............

Aaron trailed behind as they moved through the maze of corridors finally coming to a halt in the E wing bathroom. The new inmate looked barely old enough to be out of young offenders. His eyes were wide in fear and his hands shook as Jason shoved him to the cold tiled floor. The rest circled around like vultures devouring a carcass desperate for their pound of flesh. Aaron stayed back by the door with his conscience weighing heavy.

Jason loomed large over the petrified kid with a manic smirk on his face. He revelled in seeing people's fear and inflicting pain. ''Do you know who I am?''

The young man shook his head frantically and tried to scurry back, but Jason followed and he soon backed into the wall behind him. He tried to stand on wobbly legs, but two members of the gang shoved him back to his knees.

''Well I'm here to introduce myself to you. I'm polite like that, ya know?'' Jason crouched and squeezed the young mans face. ''I'm Jason and I run this wing. That means you say and do everything I tell you. You abide by my rules. Got it?''

Jason's latest victim nodded in earnest oblivious to what lay ahead. Aaron looked at him and for a split second their eyes met. Tears were now rolling down his face and a round of bullets made of guilt fired in Aaron's direction. He averted his gaze, bit at his lip and dug his nails into his palms to quell his inner turmoil. He felt sick, bile rising in his throat and his own body started to tremble.

''Now I'm gonna ask this only once so I want a straight answer.'' Jason curled his hand around the back of the guys neck and then took a tight fistful of hair. ''Did you bring in any gear?''

''N...No...No sir.'' He stuttered.

''Well we're gonna have to do a little search just to make sure.'' Jason informed him as he stood menacingly over him again.

The young lad thought the ordeal was over and on jelly legs stumbled back to a vertical position. ''The officers went through all my stuff when I arrived. Even if I wanted to bring something in I wouldn't have been able to.''

Aaron winced at the young mans naivety. The kid came across so innocent. Probably got nicked for petty theft or hacking into bank accounts. He sure as hell wasn't a hardened criminal.

Jason laughed in his face and then grabbed at the maroon prison issue sweater and slammed him spine first into the sinks that were bolted to the wall. ''This search is a little more personal.'' Jason retreated a few steps before giving the order. ''Lads.''

The young man shrunk back as if hoping to melt into the tiles and escape, but he was grabbed roughly and shoved into a shower stall. His body collided into the tiles with a sickening thud. His sweater was pulled over his head and he looked bewildered as they started to grab at his t-shirt as well. He wriggled and kicked out to try and bring an end to the torment, but he was subdued in a flash as a rush of fists and feet struck his ribs and stomach driving all the air from his lungs. His upper body was now devoid of clothing, and still disoriented from the blows he was spun around and his face was slammed against the tiles. Blood filled his mouth, all he could taste was copper and he felt a throbbing reverberate around his skull.

''Strip him!'' Jason sneered as he watched on with sickening fascination. Smirking with satisfaction at his show of dominance.

Aaron couldn't stand it. He had to do something. While the rest were distracted he peered out of the bathroom door and saw two officers a short distance down the hall. He looked back over his shoulder seeing that Jason was now in the stall and cold water was now rushing down on the poor sod and his muffled agonised cries spurred Aaron on. He stepped outside into the corridor making sure he was spotted and then rushed back into the bathroom hoping he looked suspicious enough for the officers to investigate.

''Stop, screws are coming!'' Aaron warned and he realised he had only just stopped it in time. The guys jeans and underwear were shoved off his hips and stretched around his thighs, but he was quickly taking the opportunity to redress.

Jason threw his sweater at his face. ''Put that on! And if you grass I'll kill you.''

Right on cue the two officers entered the bathroom. ''What's going on here, Cook?''

''Nothing. Just a spot of bonding.'' Jason smirked as he put an arm around the shoulders of the new guy as he emerged from the stall. To some it would look as though the two were thick as thieves, but really it was an intimidation tactic. Jason had that down to a fine art.

''Bonding? You often bond with other men in bathrooms do you?''

Jason laughed mockingly. ''That's funny. You should be a comedian. But for your information I can't stand faggots.'' He sneered and made his way to leave.

''Hang on.'' The officer halted them all before turning to the new prisoner. ''Are you okay?''

The kid faltered and looked around as if contemplating what his best move was. Aaron caught his eye and faintly shook his head. The worse thing you could do in jail was nark. It wouldn't just be Jason giving him hell if he squealed, the entire wing would be baying for blood. ''I'm fine. Was just being shown around.''

''Told ya. Lets go lads.'' Once out of ear shot of the PO's Jason cornered the lad. ''You get a free pass, kid. But remember you answer to me. Got it?''

''Yes sir. I swear I don't have any gear.''

Aaron cocked his head indicating for the kid to get the hell out of dodge while he still could. The gang dispersed also, but Jason halted Aaron in his tracks. Aaron looked down at the hand gripping his bicep before staring back at Jason. He let go of Aaron's arm instantly and Aaron took some sense of pride that Jason clearly still saw him as a threat.

''What a coincidence huh?'' Jason referred only obliquely.

Aaron feigned ignorance and looked at Jason with a baffled expression. ''I'm not following.''

''This morning you really didn't wanna get your hands dirty and low and behold just as we're tending to business the screws show up.''

Jason bored a hole right through him and Aaron knew he had to play it cool. ''Not my fault. Can't help where the screws are, can I?'' He shrugged.

''Suppose not.'' Jason relented as they stared each other down. The tension sparked between the two men. Aaron never flinched or backed down. Jason finally turned from him and he looked back over his shoulder and gave a not so subtle warning. ''Still it was very convenient. I'd hate for it to happen again.''

Aaron knew he was now firmly under the microscope and his every move would be scrutinised. He was playing with fire and he knew the odds of not being burnt didn't fall in his favour.

.........................

It was 10pm. Generally all sense of time was lost when you're behind bars, but Aaron had learnt after years locked up that night count always commenced at 10pm. He leant back in his bed waiting to be checked off and sure enough there was a tap on his cell door. He sat up to see Officer Sugden walk in.

''I heard an interesting story about you today, Dingle.'' Robert walked up to his bed, hands in his pockets and waited for Aaron to question his rather mysterious statement. ''You don't wanna know what?''

''I don't care.'' Aaron snapped as he swung his legs onto the floor and stood up finding himself slightly irked that the new screw was taller than him. He had to tilt his head slightly to meet Sugden's eyes that he only just discovered were an interesting shade of green. He assumed they were blue at first sight. Not that he cared. ''So why don't you do your job. Lock the cell door and piss off home to your wife.''

''I'm not married. I'm engaged.'' Robert wondered why he felt the need to clarify his relationship status to an inmate, but pushed it aside to persist with his original reason for coming to Aaron's cell that night. ''I heard you were found in the bathroom earlier with Jason and his gang along with a new arrival.''

''So?'' Aaron asked already on the defensive, waiting for the incoming interrogation.

''I heard you hardly made yourself inconspicuous. It was almost as if you wanted an interruption.'' Robert ventured and studied Aaron's face for any tell tale giveaways, but Aaron had been around the block far too many times to falter. He remained stony-faced. Not to mention surly. A trait that seemed remarkably prevalent in Aaron Dingle.

''There was nothing to interrupt.'' Aaron lied, eager to deflect any heat from himself and the gang. With Jason seemingly already on his case the last thing he needed was to get the CO's involved.

''I'm sure there wasn't.'' Robert turned on his heels and pushed the key into the lock. Before closing the door and locking Aaron in for the night he paused and looked straight back at Aaron. ''You probably don't care, but I think the real Aaron Dingle showed up today.''

...................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Rob have properly met, albeit not all that successfully. Rob seems to believe there is more to Aaron's life that he's not revealing, as well as being a better person than most seem to think. Is he right? And how will Aaron continue to deal with Jason and his evil ways?


	3. Taking the Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all that have read, hit that kudos button and commented I'm so grateful. The drama for Aaron increases in this chapter I hope you enjoy!
> 
> If you feel like it you can follow me on twitter @brokenspell77

''Good morning everyone.'' Lawrence sauntered into the morning briefing with his usual air of arrogance.

Robert noticed he was the recipient of a hard glare the moment his soon to be Father-in-law spotted him, and he couldn't help but roll his eyes at how petty the grown man could be. He and Chrissie had been together long enough for him to accept their upcoming marriage, yet he continued to treat Robert like dirt.

Luckily Robert had managed to successfully dodge him for the most part in his first two weeks of working at HMP Hotten, apart from the morning briefings and a rather superficial progress meeting that lasted all of 5 minutes. It had been clear to Robert that Lawrence was irritated by the fact that he had given him no ammunition in which to attack his performance and that was the reason for such brevity. In fact Fenwick himself had commented to Robert that he was doing a terrific job and that he would mention so to their so called esteemed Governor.

''First things first your Wing Governor Miss Stewart will be back from her extended leave of absence next week. I imagine for the first few days she will have a lot to catch up on, so Fenwick you'll still be the main officer on the wing.''

Robert had heard good things about Wing Governor Stewart from most of his E wing colleagues. She had a reputation as firm, but fair. When pushed she wouldn't wither. She would stand her ground and Robert had heard that she wouldn't back down from Lawrence. They had many verbal confrontations and that sole fact alone made Robert like the woman. He had been informed that some of the older generation of PO's weren't so keen as she had been fast tracked to Wing Governor status and had progressive programs in mind to aid the prisoners. For the more seasoned officers the only thing that mattered in the job was locks, bolts and bars. They had no time for prison welfare.

''The food deliveries will be arriving an hour earlier as of next week so please inform all red band prisoners that their wake up call will be 6am from now on. And finally the big issue on this wing: Drugs.'' Lawrence looked around at the staff with an almost patronising look. ''I told you all to be vigilant and yet we're no further in breaking the chain. Therefore I have organised a shakedown today across the entire wing. Fenwick I want you in charge.''

With his orders complete Lawrence departed and Robert sighed in relief at the glare being the only form of interaction they shared. He could feel the tension brewing between them and he had no doubt in his mind that a fierce quarrel would erupt sooner or later. He was just determined to make it as difficult as possible for Lawrence to ignite it in regards to their work life. Which inevitably meant it would arise from their personal life instead with Chrissie caught in the crossfire and her placing the blame squarely on him. It always did. Daddy dearest could do no wrong and Robert's tolerance was vanishing rapidly.

..........................

Aaron trudged to the corner of the wing where Jason and the rest were gathered. He hung on the periphery until the Officer nearby turned his back not wanting to arouse any suspicions. ''Pay day.'' Aaron whispered as he handed over a substantial amount of cash and valuables that the myriad of junkies had traded for their latest fix. ''All paid up. No debts.''

''Good. It's always best when business is smooth.'' Jason smugly declared. ''Got a new shipment in this morning so we're all set up for the next round. So far the kitchen set up is working a treat and those dumb fuck screws don't have a clue.''

For months now Jason had been trafficking the gear through the kitchen. A rather intricate web had been spun that would steer the officers well away from the actual route that the drugs took. Jason was no fool and he knew the spotlight was firmly on him as the main suspect in bringing in and dealing the gear and so he removed himself from the chain. The step was Jason's mate from outside the walls of HMP Hotten acquiring the gear, followed by a man who worked in the food delivery van that had been paid a hefty sum to risk bringing the stash in. The drugs would be stuffed inside of raw chickens which would quickly be stored by the inmate who ran the kitchen who Jason had cut a deal with. From there on all that had to happen was the exchange to one of the gang and then Jason was in business. And so far it had been lucrative.

Aaron thought it was convenient for Jason to be on the outskirts of his own operation, and he didn't believe for a second that the sole reason for that being he was the likely suspect. Aaron concluded that not putting himself at risk, landing a stay in solitary and additional days added to his sentence if the operation was busted was another significant incentive for Jason staying at arms length.

''You haven't had a fix lately, Dingle.'' Jason stated as he moved to lean against the wall next to him. ''Got some of that grade A spice you're so fond of. Or do you finally wanna upgrade?''

''Nah.'' Aaron had been expecting this. Usually he'd be crawling to Jason two times a week to fill the need to escape, but he hadn't in over a week, not since the day before the initiation of the new inmate that he had saved. The past 10 days had been a struggle and the urge to give in was so strong. He had told himself over and over that he had been weak for far too long. Painful memories taunted him and drove him closer to failure. Pushed him into dark territories where the worst of his demons resided. But every time he was teetering on the edge of surrender words would echo in his mind.

''I think the real Aaron Dingle showed up today.''

With them a faint light at the end of an incredibly long and black tunnel emerged and as each day passed that light came a little closer and shone brighter. Now he was over the worst of the withdrawals. The violent tremors and shaking had calmed considerably and the excessive sweating had receded too. Aaron had been fed up of waking up from the very little sleep he achieved absolutely sopping in puddles of sweat. The worst of the symptoms remaining was the ever present headache. For days it had felt as though he had been bashed around the head with a golf club and despite a high threshold for pain he had given in and went to the medical wing for pain relief.

''What?'' Jason looked shocked, not to mention aggravated at Aaron's lack of interest in buying any of his product. ''You not a loyal customer anymore, Aaron?''

''Not right now.''

''Really? Cos you look like shit! I bet you're desperate. I'll even give it to you half price?'' Jason prodded, well versed in playing the game. He knew how to manipulate and pressurise, and junkies were easy targets for him to crush.

''Not interested.'' Aaron replied with conviction and stared right down the barrel of the gun as he glowered at Jason. Aaron could tell he was stunned and that look morphed into rage. He wore the same look he had after the initiation fiasco. The friction between them was strong and Aaron was aware that Jason viewed him with suspicion now more than ever. A match had been lit between them. Now it came down to who would drop it first and start the flames of war.

...................................

Fenwick had bided his time to spring the search on the unsuspecting inmates of E wing. Their guards would be down during free association when all inmates would be out of their cells and giving them the least amount of time possible to retrieve their contraband and dispose of it. All officers were poised by the wing entrance.

The swarm was released and they rushed into the wing forcing inmates backwards and yelling instructions. ''Shakedown!'' Fenwick repeatedly bellowed above the din of jeers and insults. The PO's spread out onto all 3 landings and disappeared into cells and ripped them apart without care, narrow minded in their hunt.

Aaron was in the baying mob albeit not a participant. He stood silent, but watchful. He had no cause for alarm knowing his cell was clean. On the contrary he could see Jason fretting and uttering orders to the gang members surrounding him. Aaron turned his attention back and caught Officer Sugden's eye as he emerged from a cell on the bottom landing. Their eyes met briefly before Sugden ducked into the next cell to undergo another search. Aaron was willing to bet he'd get lucky in that cell and the inmate who lived there knew he'd be busted in seconds. He hurled obscenities in Robert's direction as he uncovered the heroin stuffed in a hole in his mattress. He was quickly grabbed and subdued by Robert and hauled off to solitary.

Suddenly Aaron was jerked backwards by a harsh tug on the back of his sweater and something was forced into his hand. He looked down to see a large amount of gear in his palm. ''What the fuck?''

''Instead of standing by doing nothing you can get rid of that!'' Jason dug into his pockets and then forced more gear and a syringe into Aaron's jeans. ''And this!''

''For fucksake!'' Aaron hissed as he stuffed the gear and his hands inside the arms of his sweater. Jason's hard stare was baleful and Aaron knew he was caught between a rock and a hard place. He looked up to the top landing seeing the officers near his cell door, as well as officers guarding the stairs so no inmates could get up there. He caught Jason's arrogant smirk as he waltzed back over to the rest of the gang and every fibre in Aaron's being willed him to throw it all back in Jason's face, but that would be a death sentence.

Aaron's brain raced trying to come up with the best course of action. The bulk of the officers had done with the first few cells nearest to the entrance gate and Aaron formulated his plan. He blended into the multitude of inmates working his way through the crowd slowly. He reached the closest cell that had already been searched and slipped inside gently closing the door as far as he could so no one would witness his actions. He grabbed at the toilet paper and dropped all the drugs into the nearby sink. He hurriedly wound the paper around the substances hoping it would flush easier and dropped it into the toilet. He hit the flush and it disappeared around the U-bend. He breathed a sigh of relief as it vanished, but there was still more to go. With efficiency he flushed two more times and at least half the gear Jason had accumulated had gone. Then the door swung open and a trio of officers descended upon him grabbing him by the arms and hauling him out of the cell. Aaron thrashed and struggled against the restraints, but it was to no avail. There wasn't a way out of this. He knew it was futile. He had been Jason's hand picked fall guy and as he was dragged from the wing he ceased fighting and walked dejectedly along with the PO's and prepared himself for another stretch in solitary confinement.

.............................

Aaron had been shoved and sent sprawling into the diminutive cell as the PO's handled him roughly. He crashed to the freezing floor and the door was unceremoniously slammed shut and his heart sank and tears threatened to fall as he heard it lock. His arms and ribs ached from the pugnacious manner that the officers had pushed, pulled and heaved him along. Emotions swirled, swaying from anger to disappointment to sadness. He never wanted to end up back in solitary. He wanted to be better. He had tried and now Jason had taken that away. He had paced like a caged animal before eventually slumping onto the thin and hard mattress as he accepted his fate of being down the block for months.

The silence was deafening. Solitary was his idea of hell. Without distraction he could so easily get lost in nightmares from the past. Demons that he couldn't vanquish. He only had four walls and a roof for company and those walls seemed to close in on him everyday. You only got fed the scraps from what was leftover from the main wings meals and more often than not it would be cold by the time it reached the area of solitary confinement. The only time silence was ever broken was when other inmates confined would snap and scream at the top of their lungs desperate to have any kind of human interaction or contact, in need of new surroundings and a sense of normality before they cracked irreparably. Aaron scratched at his skin. Desperate to feel something. Anything. To tether himself to the real world. To not get lost in his own. He didn't want to break.

A quiet rattle of metal, the sound of keys jingling and then the lock on his door sounded. Officer Sugden stepped inside and for reasons Aaron couldn't ascertain he felt angry in himself that he had let the man down. The one person who saw some good in him would now treat him like everyone else in his life. Officer Sugden would take back the words that Aaron had clung to through his spice withdrawal. He would believe the real Aaron Dingle was a monster and a career criminal after all and that alone made Aaron's heart sink faster and deeper than ever before.

Aaron sat up and scooted back against the cold and rough brick wall ready for the lecture and the punishment. He assumed he'd be stuck in solitary for the next 30 days after the amount of drugs found in his possession. That would be the most lenient consequence. He could have another charge added to his wrap sheet, even more years added to the 25 he was already serving. Probably have the few privileges he had revoked.

''You wanna explain?'' Robert perched on the edge of the cold, black mattress which more closely resembled a very thin crash mat.

Surprise filled Aaron at the gentle tone in Sugden's voice. He expected a lecture, to be tore down and informed of his punishment instead. He scooted backwards and rested back against the brick wall avoiding the officer's eyes not wanting to see the disappointment in them.

Robert tilted his head in an effort to meet Aaron's eyes and get him to communicate, but he remained silent. There was a defeated sag to his shoulders and he looked weary and tired. All Robert wanted was an explanation, in his mind the days events didn't make sense. ''Saying nothing isn't gonna help you, Dingle.''

Aaron scoffed and shook his head ruefully. ''Nothing is gonna help me out of this.'' He felt restless under the watchful gaze of his personal officer, his muscles grew rigid, his limbs starting to tremble and he resorted back to pacing the floor.

Robert observed him for several moments and despite noticing the simmering anger and negative demeanour Aaron Dingle still didn't strike him as a hardened criminal. Certainly not a prisoner that was instrumental in the booming drug trade on E wing. Robert knew no prisoner would grass on another, so he tried a different tack.

''I'm gonna ask you one question and all I want is a yes or no answer. No other information. No names.'' Robert stood in Aaron's path halting his movements and finally Aaron looked at him and Robert was alarmed at how broken and depressed the man appeared to be. Determination filled Robert to the brim. He knew Aaron wasn't responsible and he had to do something about it. ''Were the drugs yours?''

Aaron wouldn't lag. He couldn't. His death warrant would be sealed if he ever did. A target would be on his chest and it wouldn't just be Jason wanting to hit the killer blow. He'd heard stories of other inmates squealing and within months they had been killed and that was if they were lucky. But Officer Sugden wasn't asking for names. Just one word was all he had asked for. On that front Aaron concluded he didn't have much to lose. ''No.''

Robert believed him all the more. There was honesty in Aaron's eyes and he had no doubt in his mind that Aaron had found himself in an unfortunate situation not of his doing. He may have been new to the prison system, but he wasn't blind to the machinations of those behind bars. ''I'm gonna go out on a limb here and again I'm not forcing you to say anything, but I think Jason was behind this.''

''You lot always think it's Jason.'' Aaron swiftly replied, hating how fast he slipped into loyal soldier mode on instinct. He didn't owe Jason a damn thing. Especially now! However the prison code had been drummed into him long ago and it was a rule you break at great peril.

''I think it's Jason because he's top dog. Nothing happens on that wing that he doesn't know about or doesn't have a hand in himself.'' Robert saw a flicker on Aaron's face that he registered as him hitting the nail on the head. ''And then factoring in the strange moment in the E wing bathroom last week I'd assume that you might not be popular with Jason right now.''

''You're talking shit! Nothing was going on last week.'' Aaron denied. He was losing control of the situation as Sugden was putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. ''All you screws are paranoid.''

Robert shook his head and let out a frustrated chuckle. He appreciated that Aaron couldn't reveal the full extent of the truth and really he wasn't sure his frustration was even due to that. He believed it came down to Aaron willingly taking the fall instead.

''Don't play dumb, Dingle. We both know you drew attention to the bathroom. And now a week later you're busted with a ton of gear? Gear that I'm willing to bet Jason forced on you to get rid of the moment the shakedown started.'' Aaron turned from him and stared at the wall instead and Robert was all the more certain he was on the right track. ''You could get in very deep shit for this, Dingle. Is he really worth doing extra time for? Missing more time with your family?''

''I haven't got any family!'' Aaron suddenly roared as he pushed Robert hard in the chest sending him stumbling into the cell door. ''Just stop alright?! Throw the fucking book at me, keep me down here for months and piss off!''

Aaron crumpled as the rage spilled free. He slid down the wall until he sat on the freezing concrete floor. He looked disconsolate. As if he was hollow and had nothing left inside. A fear rose up in Robert. A concern for the mans well-being. He had to fix this.

Robert squatted in front of him and placed a gentle hand to his shoulder. ''I don't believe any of this is on you, Aaron. What I said last week I meant it.''

Aaron scrubbed at his eyes with the cuffs of his sweater and looked into Robert's eyes. He had been correct they were definitely green. An amazing shade of green. ''Why? You don't even know me.''

''You're right. I don't.'' Robert agreed. ''But I still believe you're a good man. You've just veered off course. I know what that's like.'' He saw the incredulous look appear on Aaron's face. Now wasn't the time to talk of his own history, he had buried that long ago or at least attempted to. ''You can get back on track. You need to start believing in yourself and your future first though. You think you can do that?''

Aaron barely nodded. The impetus was there though. A feeling deep down inside fluttering back to life. ''I can try. But I'm fucked now aren't I?'' He murmured as he looked around his new home for the foreseeable future. There was no way he was getting out of solitary.

''Let me see what I can do.'' Robert smiled trying to reassure the crestfallen inmate. The chance of getting Aaron off the hook was slim and any decision of Aaron being returned to the wing rested solely in Lawrence's hands. Robert knew that the chance was slim, but coming from him it morphed into a long shot.

Aaron's brow furrowed in confusion wondering why on earth a screw would go to those lengths for him. Aaron was aware of how the system worked, the decision would come down to the Governor, but with a record like his Aaron knew that Officer Sugden was fighting an uphill battle.

Robert could see the wheels turning in Aaron's brain as he figured out what would need to happen to get him out of solitary. The faint hope in Aaron's eyes drained away and Robert's intent only increased.

''Leave it with me.'' Robert smiled encouragingly. ''Just don't cause any problems. I'll try and get your adjudication pushed forward and get you out of here, okay?''

Aaron nodded feeling utterly dumbfounded by Officer Sugden continuing to believe in him. He watched as the blonde man left the cell, a futile wish for him to stay left unsaid. The door slammed shut. The loneliness already seeping back in. The keys rattled in the lock and before he could stop himself Aaron had ran to the door needing to show his gratitude.

''Thanks, Sir.''

He collapsed back onto the uncomfortable bed hoping Officer Sugden heard him. He took a deep breath trying to calm down the storm of emotions that resided in him. Slowly but surely he felt exhaustion creep over him and his eyes grew heavy. Before he fell into a deep sleep a sense of tranquility embodied in striking green eyes and a beaming smile enveloped him.

.............................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is in solitary confinement and feeling utterly dejected. Jason is a grade A asshole! And Robert will do all he can to get Aaron back on the wing, but with Lawrence not being a fan can Officer Sugden accomplish that goal? And if he doesn't how will Aaron cope in solitary?


	4. Truth or Consequence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the continued support for this story it means so much! Just a warning there is homophobic language in this chapter which I do not condone at all!
> 
> If you want you can follow me on twitter @brokenspell77

Aaron could see the judgement in the Governor's eyes. His mouth was down turned with a look of disgust at Aaron merely standing in his presence. It wasn't the first time Aaron had been summoned to the Governor's office, within the first 6 months of his sentence in HMP Hotten he had probably spent just as much time in the office as he had his own cell. Frequent fights constantly getting him into strife. He never started them, not that it mattered. Governor White never wanted to hear an explanation, in his mind if you were in his office than there was good reason and a penance would be given. The previous times Aaron had stood opposite him he took the punishment without argument, but this time he wanted to defend himself. This time he wasn't a willing participant. He guessed that was the reason he felt so nervous, unable to keep his feet still as they shuffled on the plush, newly laid carpet. He would probably be bouncing off the walls if he didn't have the calming presence of Officer Sugden beside him.

''Mr. Dingle.'' Governor White finally addressed him, but now not even looking at him. Instead looking through a file, which Aaron assumed was his. ''Cocaine, spice, marijuana, heroin, oh and a syringe all found in your possession. Have you anything to say in your defense?''

Aaron still hesitated. Whilst not breaking the prison code completely he was at the very least bending it. ''They weren't mine.'' Lawrence's withering laugh boomed within the room and Aaron looked across at Officer Sugden who faintly nodded at him in encouragement. ''Someone forced them on me.''

''Oh forced them on you? Really is that the best story you could come up with?'' Lawrence scoffed with revulsion. ''You're closely tied with Jason Cook aren't you, Mr. Dingle?'' Aaron nodded. His palms were clammy and his body surged with anxiety. Lawrence steepled his fingers and leant forward on his elbows as he addressed Aaron. ''I know for a fact that Mr. Cook is the man moving contraband throughout E wing. I'm also aware that you're a foot soldier. You're just as guilty as him. You are the reason for the drug problem in my prison and I have zero tolerance for it! So unless you confirm Cook's involvement and inform us of how the drugs are getting into HMP Hotten you will have a very long stay in solitary and I will ring the police to formally charge you with drug trafficking. You will be sent back through the system with another long stretch added to your sentence.''

Aaron was unsettled. His breathing turned rapid as he repeated the ultimatum over in his again and again. There was no way he could grass Jason up, his days would be numbered and it wouldn't be just Jason wanting him dead. He knew he couldn't handle any more time added to his sentence. 21 more years was enough. More than enough.

''I...I can't.'' Aaron stuttered. ''I don't know how the drugs get in. And Jason has nothing to do with it.'' Aaron felt the tiny flicker of hope remaining in his soul being extinguished and it tore him up inside. ''Sorry I can't be more helpful.''

''I thought you might say that. You said before that the drugs were forced on you. Surely you must know who did that?'' Lawrence looked amused at watching Aaron squirm. He took pleasure in these games. He often regarded these conversation with inmates as a game of chess, and at the moment he had Aaron exactly where he wanted him. One move from checkmate.

''I didn't see. There was a lot going on. People everywhere and loads of noise...'' Aaron shrugged pitifully knowing the outcome of his adjudication. He didn't need Governor White to tell him that he was royally screwed. He felt the urge to admit defeat and take responsibility for the gear, maybe that way he would only have a long stay in solitary, loss of privileges and some additional days added. On the brink Sugden suddenly stepped in.

''Lawre...'' Robert began before noticing the irritated flare of his soon to be father-in-laws nostrils and angered glare and hastily corrected his mistake. ''Governor, I feel the need to say that Aaron did willingly agree to a drug test and it came back negative. Surely that must count for something?''

''All that means is that he isn't a user. He is dealing instead which I cannot ignore!'' Lawrence cut in, his voice stern in warning Robert against contradicting him.

''Under these circumstances...'' Robert tried to contend, but was silenced by Lawrence raising a hand for him to stop. He called in the officer that was stationed outside the office and asked Aaron to leave the office leaving just he and Robert.

''What the hell do you think you are doing?'' Lawrence snarled as soon as the door closed. ''I am the Governor of this prison, Robert! Not you! You do not interrupt me. You do not question my decision or orders in front of anyone. Least of all inmates!''

''I didn't mean to question you, however I felt that you're putting Dingle in a no win situation.'' Robert declared as he glanced quickly at the door the man he reference just walked through making out his silhouette on the otherside through the translucent pane of glass. ''You know full well if he reveals to us that Cook is the mastermind behind the drug trade and how it gets over the walls then he's as good as dead.''

''You don't know that.''

''Cook will know it was Dingle that grassed and within the month we'll have a dead body in the prison.'' Robert was in disbelief at Lawrence's nonchalance at potentially having a murder take place within his prison. The mere thought of Aaron being killed made Robert shudder. It didn't bare thinking about.

''But this way we can cut off the drug trade and clean up this prison.''

This time Robert couldn't withhold his odium at Lawrence willingness to put a life at risk. ''So you think the board will be impressed by the drug trade drying up at the expense of a human life? Good luck explaining that during the inquest.''

Robert could see Lawrence weighing up his words, knowing the one thing any Governor wanted to avoid was the ire of the prison board. He hoped that could sway the old codger into being lenient because Aaron didn't deserve to be placed in such a predicament.

''Fine. I won't push Dingle into a confession.'' Lawrence conceded as he sat back in his chair as if he was a lord of the manor. ''However he will be held responsible for all the contraband that we found in his possession.''

''Oh come on!'' Robert shook his head and stared a hole right through his boss. ''You said yourself that Cook is the one behind the wheel.''

''That doesn't absolve Dingle of participation in the crime!'' Lawrence insisted as he raised his voice clearly getting more incensed at the gall of Robert to battle against him.

''I'm Dingle's Personal Officer and I've seen a change in him. He barely interacts with Cook and his gang.'' Robert felt overwhelmed to defend Aaron. He knew if Aaron got more time for this then he'd give up all over again. ''During meetings we've even started to discuss his future. If we send him back through the system now he'll go right back to square one.''

''Oh please, the man doesn't have a future, Robert. He'll be in and out of correctional facilities till the day he dies. Born scum just like most of them that end up in here.'' With an air of arrogance and snobbery Lawrence stood attempting to dismiss any retort.

However Robert was far from finished. ''Is that how you speak of prisoners in your care to the board is it?'' Robert had heard plenty of tales over family dinners of how Lawrence detested the prison board. And the only reason for Lawrence's dislike was that they had more power than him.

''If I were you I'd stop threatening me with the board.''

Through gritted teeth Lawrence spoke and Robert was relishing getting under his skin. He was well versed in doing so by now, and it was hardly a challenge to him anymore. At least he had a whole new setting in which to undermine Lawrence in now.

''I'm not threatening, Lawrence. All I'm asking is for you to be fair.'' Really Robert had meant it as a threat, but he suspected that if he confirmed it Lawrence would only dig his heels in more just to spite him. Robert would use it as a last resort.

''My decision is final. I will call the police and Dingle will be charged.'' Lawrence started with authority. He picked up the receiver which Robert instantly slammed back down.

''I'll tell you what, I'll stick my neck on the line that Dingle won't have possession of any drugs in the future. Not only that we'll piss test him every week and if he fucks up you can throw the book at him.''

Robert sensed he was mulling it over. Could imagine the cogs turning whilst steam would be coming out of his ears. A disconcerting smile appeared on Lawrence's face as he nodded in agreement. ''Fine. But the book won't just be thrown at him if he fails, Robert. It's about time you remember why you have this job and who will help you keep it. You've not even been here a month and one of the inmates you are personal officer too has been down the block and implicated with drugs. So just keep giving me reasons Robert, because I sure as hell won't hesitate to go to the board myself and have you fired!''

Robert wasn't shocked at how low Lawrence would stoop. Putting the blame on him and letting him take the fall wasn't an act beneath Lawrence. ''I take it you're blaming other officers whose prisoners have been caught with gear or had positive piss tests then?'' Lawrence's silence spoke volumes. ''Didn't think so.''

''Take Dingle back to the wing. He'll have 60 days added to his sentence and a loss of privileges for a month.'' As Robert reached for the door handle Lawrence continued. ''I hope you realise what you've done here, Robert.'' A smug grin was plastered over the older mans face now. ''I'll tell you shall I? You've just put your career in the hands of a criminal.''

Lawrence chuckled mockingly and Robert fought with every fibre of his being to not stride over there and punch him square on the jaw. He knew Lawrence had been waiting for this opportunity. Was biding his time until he slipped up. He wanted Robert to hang himself so that way he would have reason to fire him and keep Chrissie on side. Or with him being fired as a reason to persuade Chrissie to kick him out and end their relationship as Lawrence had wished from the moment they got together.

Robert ignored the goading and swallowed down the venom that he wanted to unleash. He stared Lawrence down before slamming the office door shut behind him. He wouldn't back down and throw Aaron to the wolves because of a pathetic threat from his fiancée's overbearing father.

''Lets go, Dingle.'' Robert strode away wanting to put distance between himself and Lawrence in case his control faltered and he returned to the office all guns blazing. He heard Aaron's footsteps close behind as he reached the first set of gates. He peered back over his shoulder and could see the despondent look on Aaron's face. He must've assumed he was being returned to solitary.

Robert continued throw a couple more corridors and gates and then took a left turn in the direction of E wing. He opened the gate and held it open for Aaron to walk through, but the man didn't budge.

Aaron was bewildered. He glanced in the direction they should be taking back to the block. ''I don't get it...''

''You're back on the wing, Aaron.'' Robert smiled brightly pleased to see a faint smile rising on the inmates face. ''But I'm gonna need you to steer clear of anything that could get you in trouble.''

''But how did you convince the Governor?'' Aaron asked perplexed. As far as he was concerned it was a done deal that he would rot in solitary for months. Governor White had made that crystal clear if he wasn't going to drop Jason in it.

''Don't worry about it. It's sorted you're back on E wing, although you have lost privileges for a month and 60 days added.'' Robert informed him still aggravated that he couldn't get a better deal than that.

''What about the cops?''

Robert shook his head. ''Not gonna be called.'' Robert jutted his head to urge Aaron to come through the gate. ''Like I said just keep your nose clean.''

Aaron met his gaze and smiled brighter than Robert had ever witnessed. Aaron was speechless in relief. He couldn't fathom how Officer Sugden had managed it, but he sure as hell wasn't gonna complain. ''I promise.'' A vow he had every intention to keep.

Muffled voices and sounds got louder as they neared the wing and Aaron felt time was running out to show how much he appreciated Sugden fighting for him. From the Governor's attitude towards him during his adjudication it was pretty evident that Officer Sugden had to battle hard for him. ''Sir, I just wanted to say thanks for getting me off the block.''

''It's nothing.'' Robert replied as he focused on locating the key to the main gate of E wing.

''Well whatever you did to change that twats mind, I appreciate it.''

''That twat is my soon to be father-in-law.'' Robert smirked seeing Aaron's face pale in horror. He let out a faint laugh feeling greatly amused at Aaron thinking he had put his foot in it. If anything it endeared the man to Robert even more.

Once Officer Sugden's amusement at his slip of the tongue became apparent Aaron relaxed and even chuckled himself. ''No offence, but he is kind of a dick.''

Robert marvelled at the cheeky grin and blue sparkling eyes. Seeing Aaron come out of his shell even fractionally was a pleasant surprise. ''I won't argue with that.''

''You don't get on?'' Aaron silently chastised his curiosity. Officer Sugden wouldn't want to discuss his private life with a con. ''Sorry sir, forget I asked.''

Robert flung the gate open and Aaron stepped back into the lions den. He knew he'd be interrogated by Jason the second he was alone about what he had said to get back on the wing so fast and he knew a day of reckoning was approaching. He wanted out and nothing more to do with Jason and the gang and there was no way the reigning top dog would allow that.

''No we don't. I'm not good enough for his daughter.'' Robert answered.

Aaron's focus immediately shifted back to Officer Sugden and could see that it was a sore point for the blonde haired man. Sugden seemed willing to engage in conversation so Aaron pressed on. ''Why would he think you weren't good enough?''

''Lawrence...sorry Governor White and his entire family are upper class and the fact that I'm a born and bred farm boy makes me rather unpopular with him.''

''You grew up on a farm?'' Aaron was surprised at the piece of information. Sugden had always struck him as a city boy. A man that was all about high market fashion and fancy restaurants. Maybe he was. Aaron was never one to stereotype or try and fit everyone neat and tidily into a box. He had broke a stereotype himself, shocked people, but he had hidden that part of him the moment he arrived in HMP Hotten.

''Long time ago now.'' Robert saw his colleagues rounding up the prisoners for the count and he pleased that his shift was nearing its end. He told Aaron to join them and reminded him to be on his best behaviour. ''I'll see you tomorrow, Dingle.''

...............................

Aaron had kept his distance from Jason and the gang and he knew that he was a hot topic of conversation. They were all playing pool, hogging the table as normal, but regularly they would stare in his direction. Jason had barged into his cell early that morning. The news of Aaron's return had spread like wildfire. Jason demanded answers. Wanted an explanation for how Aaron had gotten away with such a light punishment. Jason was adamant that Aaron must've grassed on him, but Aaron swiftly pointed out that if he had Jason would've been hauled to solitary himself by now. Eventually Jason had relented and welcomed him back into the fold all the while uttering a half hearted and insincere apology for landing him in trouble. Aaron had hurriedly made an excuse of wanting to keep his head down until he was off the screws radar as a reason for wanting to stop dealing and thankfully Jason had agreed. For his own sake more than Aaron's most likely. Sooner or later though Jason would command him to return to dealing and he knew that would be the moment that Jason would become his biggest problem.

''You alright lad?''

Aaron looked up to see Ronnie stood beside him. He was one of the old timers on E wing. Had spent years in jail, often joking that he'd seen more years inside than he had out. He kept a low profile and received no grief from the rest of the inmates for the most part. Although his sexuality often garnered homophobic slurs from some low lifes.

''Yeah, mate. You?''

''Not too bad.'' Aaron was happy to converse with Ronnie most of the time, but lately he craved solitude. Or as much solitude as you could feasibly get when living in close proximity to nearly a hundred other people.

''Seems you're quite a popular subject today.'' Ronnie peered back over his shoulder and Aaron followed his line of sight that landed on Jason. ''Just giving you some friendly advice lad to not let your guard down around him. He wasn't best pleased to hear you were back.''

''Yeah I got that message loud and clear first thing this morning.'' Aaron sighed as he saw Jason and the rest approach the table.

''Got a new friend, Aaron?'' Jason mused as he chucked one of the balls from one hand to the other. ''I guess with you having to keep your distance from us for the time being you gotta talk to someone.''

''We're having quite the conversation actually.'' Ronnie interrupted never being one to cower in the face of the gang. ''Or we were before you came over.''

''Oh that's not nice old man. We're just being friendly. Aaron's a loyal member. A part of the brotherhood. You on the other hand I couldn't give a shit about.'' Jason snarled clearly irked by Ronnie's lack of respect for him.

''Leave it Jason.'' Aaron tried to mediate. The last thing he needed was to get caught in the middle.

''I'd watch yourself Aaron this faggot probably wants you to be his bitch.'' Jason laughed, his cronies following suit sounding like a pack of hyenas. ''People like you make me sick. You should have your balls cut off!''

''I'm sure if I did I'd still have more balls than you.'' Ronnie quipped and in a rush he was dragged from his chair and dumped on the floor.

Aaron was fast on his feet and shoved two gang members back. Jason sent a hard boot to Ronnie's stomach causing the man to wheeze and grunt in pain. Aaron stepped between them blocking any more potential violence.

''What the fuck are you doing, Dingle?''

Jason was feral and he knew Ronnie didn't stand a chance. He'd be beaten to a pulp and he was sick and tired of standing idly by. A tense stare down ensued. Aaron's muscles were taut, his reflexes sharp waiting to see if Jason would make a move. Ronnie had gotten to his knees and Aaron's attention slipped momentarily and he was roughly pushed up hard against the wall.

''Oi!'' A loud yell sounded. ''Step back Cook or you're down the block.''

Aaron maintained staring at Jason, but he recognised that voice in an instant. Slowly Jason's fists unfurled from his sweater and he backed off. His gaze flicked to Officer Sugden briefly as he hauled Cook away and issued a warning.

''Don't get into strife on my behalf, lad.'' Ronnie spluttered through coughing.

Aaron ensured Ronnie wasn't badly injured before escaping to his cell. He splashed cold water over his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Jason had been testing him. That whole show with Ronnie was to see what he would do. If he'd stand up against Jason and now that he had time had officially ran out. There was no doubt. In Jason's mind Aaron had defected, he was no longer a member of the gang and Aaron would have to deal with the consequences.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and steeled himself for what was to come. He wouldn't allow himself to be intimidated. His reputation was still intact. People would perceive him as a threat to Jason now. He still possessed no desire to go on the offensive, but he was ready to defend if need be. He pulled the sweater over his head and chucked it onto his bed. During the tussle he had heard a tearing sound and sure enough he found a rip in the t-shirt he had on. He stripped it off and before he could cover his body the door flew open and Officer Sugden halted in the doorway.

''Get out!'' Aaron yelled as he rushed up to the door forcing it closed. He slumped back against it and held his head in his hands. He caught the look in Officer Sugden's eyes. He saw. He definitely saw them. Tears ran down Aaron's cheeks as his demons led an assault.

........................

Robert was rooted to the spot. Staring blankly at the cell door that had been shut in his face with a loud bang. The echoes still not subsided. His mind instantly told him he was mistaken. That his eyes had deceived him, but he had seen and he couldn't forget it. The image would not leave him. Carved all over Aaron's chest and stomach were numerous scars and Robert's concern for the man heightened dramatically.

.........................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go Robert for getting Aaron out of solitary! But with Lawrence eager to get rid of him will he come to regret sticking his neck out? Tensions continue to rise between Aaron and Jason, uh-oh! And how will Aaron deal with Robert seeing his scars?


	5. Secret Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: More slurs, language, violence and mention of drugs in this chapter that I do not condone! 
> 
> Thanks to all the support for this story <3
> 
> And if you want to you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77

Aaron leant back against the cold metal railings that ran all around the E3 landing. His cell was being ransacked as the latest shakedown had hit E wing. His sparse belongings were tossed around by the multiple officers that had blasted through his cell door far too early in the morning in his view. He hadn't even woken up properly when the shouting and swearing started as the inmates received their rude wake up call.

Aaron had rolled his eyes as they made straight for him, shoving his jeans in his face and ordering him to get dressed and get out. Not before he was patted down though in case he had drugs on him. Aaron bit back any snide remarks as they conducted their search and ushered him out. Sometimes it was hard to not retaliate. Especially with the screws that treated him like shit, which in HMP Hotten were many. Only a handful broke that rule. One in particular leapfrogged to the front of the line in Aaron's mind.

Right on cue Officer Sugden appeared walking up the stairs to the landing. Aaron hadn't seen him in days due to the officer not working the weekend. He had no contact since Sugden walked into his cell and saw his scars. Sooner or later Aaron knew he'd be confronted. Officer Sugden was his Personal Officer and it wasn't as if he had anywhere he could hide in prison! But to delve into his self harming, his past, his demons was too hard. Aaron had slammed the door shut on all of it years ago when he first arrived at HMP Hotten. Some memories he'd buried even deeper and further back than that.

Sugden mirrored his stance against the railings. Cautious silence hung heavy in the air which Aaron had no intention of breaking. The less you say, the less they know. A mantra he had held close from the day he got incarcerated. As far as he was concerned the silence could remain, despite a distant wish in the back of his head to hear Officer Sugden's voice one more time.

Aaron tensed as in his peripheral he noticed Sugden lean closer toward him. It seemed the PO had no such qualms about snapping the quietude. ''You clean?'' He whispered, all the while keeping his eyes fixated on his colleagues combing through the cell. Aaron couldn't help a pang of hurt arising at Sugden not being able to even look at him. It seemed to be a recurring theme in his life. Far too many times those words had been sneered in his ear. Or uttered in anger and disappointment. Or the look on someone's face painting a very clear and similar picture. ''Aaron?''

''Yeah.'' Aaron snapped, his well practiced surly attitude in full effect.

It clearly made an impression with Sugden as he was quick to clarify. ''I had to ask. I worry.'' That gentle tone caused the hairs on Aaron's arms to prickle and his anger dissipated as he looked into those caring green eyes again. ''And for what it's worth I believe you.''

Aaron smiled, hoping the man would understand he was both thankful for his trust and apologising for his earlier snipe. Sugden nodded at him and it was as if they were having a silent conversation that only they could see and master.

''There was another OD in the middle of the night. Hence the shakedown?'' Sugden informed him. ''Luckily the SMO saved him. By the way you're on the list for piss tests today. It will be a regular thing for a while. Another condition to getting you back off the block.''

Aaron accepted that would be a part of the deal and wasn't shocked by Sugden informing him of such. It didn't make the process any more pleasant however. Having to take a leak with an Officer watching your every move was degrading and never a highlight to anyone's day.

Suddenly the screws piled out of his room without a word. A clear sign of them finding nothing. Sugden smiled at him and he knew Sugden would take glee in reporting that nugget of information to his ill favoured soon to be Father-in-law. Aaron chuckled faintly before trudging into the ruins of what was once his cell.

The screws had left a hell of a mess in their wake. A tornado could have ripped right through and caused less. His few items of clothes littered the floor. One grey t-shirt now damp from landing in the sink. The books from the library were now creased and had boot prints on from the assholes not even caring enough to step over his belongings. His bedding had been pulled free from the mattress and now had a gash a few inches long down the middle. It took little force to make a hole in the thin cheap tatty sheets given in jail. His mattress had been hauled off the bed frame, inspected, and then just shoved against a wall. His plastic mug, plate and cutlery had all been tossed around. The photographs of people he cared for, yet didn't care for him, had been stripped carelessly from the wall. Some corners had been torn and all were strewn over the floor. Aaron cursed out the officers under his breath and started to tidy and return his cell to it's former incarnation.

''Sorry about the mess.''

Aaron glanced up from his crouched position seeing the earnest Officer Sugden. He looked around at the surrounding wreckage and shrugged bitterly. ''Used to it.''

Officer Sugden stepped inside and shoved his mattress back into its rightful spot. ''Guess so. Doesn't make it right though.'' He peered back over his shoulder and caught Aaron's gaze. His smile wasn't as beaming as Aaron had become accustomed to and he could sense the officer was holding back on the real reason he was still in his cell. And Aaron had a pretty good guess as to what it was.

The confirmation to prove himself correct soon came.

''Aaron, I just wanted to say sorry for barging in the other day.'' Aaron sensed the man felt cautious and uneasy about broaching the subject. After his reaction days prior Sugden most likely would expect him to fly off the handle. ''I didn't mean to. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after the altercation with Jason.''

''Forget it.'' Aaron deflected. He didn't want to engage in conversation about it, but he kept any bite out of his tone. The subject was off limits. He realised if he removed even one brick from the walls he had constructed it risked the whole building coming down. And he'd perish in the rubble.

''You know you can talk to someone, don't you?'' Many inmates had found comfort in talking to the prison Vicar. She was also a trained psychiatrist and so held duel roles within the prison infrastructure. By all accounts she was a nice woman, he'd heard nothing but good things about the woman. But Aaron held no inclination in going to see her. He didn't need a shrink. Never had. Never will.

Aaron shook his head emphatically. ''Not interested.'' He couldn't quell the shift in his tone, despite knowing and deep down appreciating the mans effort to look out for him. However when backed into a corner he always had the tendency to lash out.

''Okay. I won't push you.'' Officer Sugden handed him his collection of photographs and gave him a smile that Aaron interpreted as full of care and good meaning. As Sugden made his way to leave he paused at the door and looked back at him. ''You can talk to me too, Aaron. I hope you know that. I'll listen.''

Aaron was lost for words. Not since being a young child had anyone said that and he believe them. His Mother. Before his innocent trusting eyes grew jaded.

''Just wanted you to know the offers there.'' Bearing his soul had never been Aaron's strong suit, but maybe Officer Sugden could be the exception.

The Officer went to leave and Aaron didn't want his silence to be misinterpreted as him ignoring his efforts. ''Thanks, Sir.'' A fleeting smile graced his face in the shadow of Officer Sugden's tall frame. ''Again.'' Aaron added recalling the previous times he felt the need to be grateful. It seemed to be a recurring theme.

''No problem. And err...quit calling me, Sir. I hate that shit.'' Robert chuckled. ''Call me, Sugden.''

Aaron smiled wider this time caught up completely in the officer's own beaming back at him. ''Thanks...Sugden.''

..........................

Lining up the final shot Aaron concentrated hard and pushed the cue sharply and sent the black barrelling into the corner pocket. ''Yes!'' He celebrated as he laughed and patted Ronnie on the shoulder. Aaron had become a professional on the pool table over the years. No one held a better win-loss record than him. ''I win again, mate.''

''Yeah, yeah. Lucky win.'' Ronnie bantered back knowing full well he had never beaten Aaron in an embarrassing amount of tries. His skills on the table were never a high standard. Poker was. He had mentioned to Aaron time and time again that if they ever played poker he'd be the victor and wipe the floor with him.

''Well, well, well, having a game of pool lads.''

Aaron's stomach dropped at the sound of Jason's voice and turned to see the entire gang filling the room. Over the last few days he had stayed well clear of Jason. Strangely he'd done likewise. Aaron had a slither of futile hope that any issues had been laid to rest and they could move on, but he wasn't naive enough to believe it would be likely.

Jason snatched the cue from Ronnie's hand and backed him up against the pool table. ''Get lost.''

Aaron was fully aware that Ronnie wouldn't bow to Jason's demands and be intimidated. He was a stalwart of HMP Hotten and most inmates held him in high regard. Meanwhile, Jason loathed him. Aaron had lost count of the times he had to bite his tongue as Jason spewed his homophobic vitriol in relation to Ronnie.

Desperate for the situation to not spiral out of control as it did days before, Aaron stepped in and assured Ronnie he'd be fine and he should leave. Begrudgingly his friend departed and Aaron sensed the day had come. They circled him like vultures ready to pick a carcass clean. Aaron's mind ran a mile a minute. Fight or flight. Where to run. Who to hit first. Try and talk his way out of it.

Then all deliberations came to a screeching halt. Aaron's stomach dropped as held in front of his face, dangling from Jason's finger tips was a newspaper cutting. Time stood still as he read the headline. A tidal wave of memories rushing to the shore.

''You know what this is?'' Jason taunted as he waved the object in his face. Aaron was rooted to the spot. Any notion of running or fighting vanished. ''You've been keeping secrets haven't you, Aaron?'' He numbly shook his head as he felt the walls closing in around him. The vultures morphed into a pride of lions ready to tear him to shreds. ''I haven't even shown the lads this. Thought I'd leave it as a surprise for 'em all. So do you wanna tell 'em or shall I?''

Tears pooled in the corner of Aaron's eyes and he valiantly fought to keep them at bay. His entire body trembled violently.

''Alright, I'll share the news.'' Jason snickered. ''This here is an article from The Hotten Courier. Seems Aaron had a near miss with the law before landing himself in here. Way back in 2011. You got quite the flare for killing people ain't that right, Aaron?''  
Aaron could barely breathe. Heart pounding in his chest. ''Aaron killed a man, but got off because it was ruled as assisted suicide. But in my book that's murder.''

''Shut up...'' Aaron had heard it all before. That his actions were wrong. He'd had people judge him. Stare at him in the street.

''Oh! He speaks!'' Jason exclaimed. ''Do you wanna finish the story?'' Aaron fell silent once more as he recalled that day in frightening vividness. He could feel the weight of the glass in his hands. His hands shaking causing the liquid to spill. How he held him close as it was drained from the glass. ''No? Then leave all comments to the end. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Aaron dodged jail and now you're all wondering why I find this so important. And the truth is I don't give a fuck about Aaron offing some defenseless cripple. Nah, what I find interesting is who this guy was to our mate, Aaron.''

Aaron lost the battle as tears rolled down his face in flowing streams. The man he helped, Jackson, had begged him to help him end his life. After a car crash that left his vehicle stranded on train tracks he was then also smashed into by a train. It left Jackson paralysed from the neck down. He pleaded with Jackson to rethink, to keep going, but there was no way he could change his mind.

''Any guesses lads?'' Jason joked as he looked around at his stooges. ''The cripple was Aaron's boyfriend.'' Mutterings and mumbles surrounded Aaron and every part of his body had gone numb. ''That's right Aaron's a faggot!''

Blinded and lost in his past Aaron never saw the punch coming. He fell to the floor and then vicious kicks, stomps and punches came from every angle. He curled into a ball in a desperate bid to protect himself, but the beating carried on and on. Aaron's mind found safety in Jackson. Recalling their first kiss. How he had come out to his family and friends. How he finally accepted his sexuality. Became proud of it. Found the confidence to be himself.

The world suddenly returned in a rush. The violence had stopped. Echoes of voices and the distant sound of an alarm awakened his senses. His vision was blurred and distorted. His body was wracked with pain and he felt himself drifting.

..........................

Aaron had awoke on the hospital wing. His ribs throbbed, two broken according to Nurse Laurel, and his arms and legs were littered with cuts and bruises. He had a laceration above his right eyebrow which had also swelled up. A deep purple bruise arched right around the entire socket along with a busted and fat lip. He still had splotches of blood on his face as well.

Nurse Laurel informed him that a group of officers had found him beaten up. Aaron surmised that must've been the voices he heard before he blacked out. The SMO had come over and checked for a concussion and any head injury, but reported none. Since then hours had passed and he had been dosed up on painkillers that were enough for the chronic pain to subside to at least a dull ache.

He had been questioned by the E wing Governor over the attack which he naturally strenuously denied. Aaron knew she wouldn't be convinced and he knew his lie of falling over was laughably transparent, but he couldn't grass. The Wing Governor knew that too. She'd been in HMP Hotten long enough to know the code, despite clamouring to break it at any opportunity.

Aaron's big problem was how much more blood was Jason wanting to spill. Aaron's stomach twisted in knots at the whole wing finding out about his sexuality. With it public knowledge he'd be a target to more than just Jason now and he had no trouble in assuming Jason had divulged his sexuality to all the inmates. He could expect all the taunts and slurs imaginable. Most gay inmates' lives were made hell. You got off lightly if you just had slurs hurled your way. Beatings were frequent, some had even resulted in death. Many were forced into being a bitch, used for sex by another inmate or a gorup for sexual gratification. Many gay prisoners ended their own lives to escape. Aaron had kept his sexuality under wraps for that very reason. Not one person in HMP Hotten knew about him being gay. Until now.

The double doors to the hospital wing swung open and Aaron felt a hint of relief at seeing Sugden approaching his hospital bed. ''I only just heard. Fenwick was writing up the report. What the hell happened?''

''I don't remember. It's nothing anyway.'' Aaron played down, but the look on Sugden's face was pure fury. Aaron could see it in his eyes and the clench of his jaw.

''Was it, Jason?''

Aaron couldn't break the prison code. The sharks were already smelling blood. He had to play it careful. From now on he had to have eyes in the back of his head. Keep his reflexes sharp. He was a marked man.

''Aaron, please...tell me and I will deal with it.''

Aaron admired and appreciated Sugden's persistence in equal measure, but he couldn't drop Jason in it. He also didn't want to let Sugden down either. The blonde haired man had done so much for him, it felt horrible to blatantly lie to his face. Aaron looked him in the eye, the green capturing him all over again. He gave Sugden all he could.

''Please, don't make me lie to you.''

Aaron observed the anger diminish and Sugden's face soften. A faint smile appeared. The officer nodded his head and squeezed his shoulder. Aaron was confident that Sugden understood the meaning in his words. He hoped he did.

''Get better soon.''

Aaron was relieved that Sugden let the matter drop and watched him walk away wishing it wouldn't be the only visit he received from him during his stay on the hospital wing.

.............................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Aaron! :( How will he move forward when it comes to Jason and the gang? How much further will Jason go in making his life hell? Will Robert keep digging and looking out for him?
> 
> Just a little info that Nurse Laurel is indeed the Laurel Thomas from Emmerdale. A few more ED characters may appear in the future, but not masses by any means. I can't lock everyone up in HMP Hotten! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Them and Us

Robert stared into his mug of coffee. Sleep had alluded him for days now and he frequently needed a caffeine IV pulsing into his veins just to get him through the day. His preferred beverage was an Americano, however that wasn't available to him so he settled for a simple black coffee that was clutched tightly in his hands, a porcelain mug, half drank, on the verge of turning cold.

He'd awoke early. Barely past 4am and two hours before his alarm was set to go off. The sun hadn't ushered in a new day yet and he sat silently at the island unit in the centre of the lavish kitchen Chrissie had insisted on. Her decor choices were opulent. The higher the price tag the better in her view. It was open an open plan kitchen diner with ebony gloss marble worktops coupled with white gloss cabinets and drawers. Every appliance had a steel finish and top of the range. Underfoot was heated floor tiling, matching the same shade as the worktops. A gargantuan chandelier hung overhead at the heart of the room which Robert was content to leave switched off.

His mind was a hive of buzzing thoughts: Chrissie. Lawrence. The wedding. Work. His past. Aaron Dingle.

Lately and more than ever before Robert kept getting trapped in his past. Memories sent him back to when he still lived with his family in a small village on the outskirts of Yorkshire. Back to his formative years spent on the family farm. He had never enjoyed working on the farm. Held no desire for it to be his future, but his life was destined and mapped out for him by Jack Sugden. His father.

Jack was born and bred in Beckindale and inherited the farm from his own father when he passed away. He was strict both in his parenting and work. Both Robert and his adopted brother Andy would be made to miss school to tend to emergencies on the farm and Jack would constantly remind Robert that the farm would be all his one day.

But Robert didn't want it. Early mornings, the freezing cold, wrangling herds of sheep, milking cows just never appealed to him. It never felt like a passion. It was a chore! He'd always aspired for more in life. He didn't want to follow in his fathers footsteps. He wanted to forge his own path. When that was made clear to Jack Robert fell out of favour. His decision made him the black sheep of the family and a traitor in his fathers eyes. Their relationship had been strained from that moment on, whereas Andy became the golden boy.

Andy held no ambition. He catered to Jack's every whim, relished the work on the farm and by consequence became the favourite. The child Jack showered in praise. The one groomed to take over. Andy could never do wrong in Jack's eyes, whilst any trouble Robert landed himself in was the crime of the century. Robert held a lot of resentment toward both his sibling and father for how he was treated. He knew he was no angel and had made countless mistakes, but Andy did too. Yet Robert alone was the one being judged, disapproved of and shunned.

Their fraught relationship eventually broke when after a horrific incident, that Robert and Andy were apart of, Jack forced him to leave. Jack never fought for him. Never stood by his side. Never supported him. Whilst Andy received all the support in the world even after taking the most precious thing in Robert's life away from them all.

Robert never missed his father. Even when he died the most prominent emotion was anger, but most of all he just felt empty. He didn't miss Andy either. The only vestige of his old life in Beckindale that he missed was his little sister Victoria. They communicated through email and the odd text, but they hadn't seen one another since he left when he was 19 years old. Now he was back in Yorkshire he intended to see her again.

The chandelier without warning bathed him in a far too bright light. He whipped his head over to see Chrissie standing in the doorway, her black silk robe fastened and her hair in disarray. ''What are you doing up so early?''

''Couldn't sleep.'' Robert slurped his coffee and baulked at the disgusting taste of cold coffee. He glanced over at the clock to see he had been in a daze for nearly an hour.

''Well seeing as you're up and so am I we could go over the wedding plans.'' Lately Chrissie had a one track mind. All conversational avenues got redirected back to their impending nuptials and Robert was sick of it. He wanted to marry her, had every intention to, but some diversity in his home life wouldn't go amiss. ''We still have so much to sort.''

''Well I'm sure whatever you choose I'll like.'' Flowers, table decorations, seating plans, it didn't really matter to him. He didn't want to engage in wedding talk at the best of times, but on that morning it was a subject he planned to ignore. Besides he knew whatever suggestions he made would fall on deaf ears if Chrissie didn't agree. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and was used to habitually getting her own way so it would just be easier to let her decide in the first place.

''Robert, you could show some interest!'' Her shrill voice was an assault on his ears and it was all the more painful in the early hours and with such little sleep. ''Every time I try and discuss the wedding you either change the subject or leave it all to me.''

Robert bit his tongue and made an effort to placate his significant other. ''Of course I'm interested in our wedding, but floral arrangements and table dressings aren't exactly my forte. And I trust you. When we're choosing a band then I'll have a say.'' He was relieved to see the tactic worked and escaped the topic of conversation.''You know what I should probably jump in the shower and head off early. Got a few reports to catch up on. Wouldn't wanna be in your Dad's bad books would I?'' He hopped off the stool making a hasty retreat, but Chrissie grasped his wrist and stopped him.

Chrissie brought their bodies together and kissed him. ''I could always join you.''

Her talon like nails ran from his chest down to his stomach. As they reached his waist he pulled them from his body. ''I'm not really in the mood. Too much on my mind.'' He charmed her with a smile and squeezed her hand. ''Maybe later though.''

He turned and walked away from her questioning why he felt so distant. There was a gulf between them and he wasn't sure when or where that change occurred. His interest in sex had waned since he started working at HMP Hotten. Repeatedly his excuse would be the long hours and being exhausted, but even on weekends he would avoid any bedroom activities with his future bride. They had both turned down sex before, no couple were in the mood all the time, at the same time. However this felt different. Robert had always had a high sex drive and it wasn't as if his body didn't crave for release. Recently instead of finding it with Chrissie he found it alone, with images in his head that he wish he could banish.

Water rushed from the faucet and he stripped off his boxer briefs and stood under the warm spray. His dick stirred as a familiar picture formed behind his closed eyes. His fingers glided past his stomach, through short coarse hair, but before they curled around his half hard member he snapped his eyes open and cranked the cold water up to chase away his arousal.

...........................

The day had sped by for Robert with most of it spent catching up on reports. At lunch he overheard his fellow officers mention Dingle had been returned to the wing and Robert was eager to check up on him. Afterward his attention kept drifting from the mountain of paperwork and frustratingly elongated the process.

Aaron had been confined to the hospital wing for a fortnight and after a week Robert noticed the cuts, bruises and swelling on his face had all healed, and all that bothered Aaron was the two broken ribs. They were the last trace of the beating Aaron suffered. He swung by the hospital wing to check on Aaron's progress from Nurse Laurel who instructed Robert to ensure Aaron adhered to her rules of no work, strenuous activity, plenty of bed rest and definitely no fighting!

Laurel was a kind and caring woman who put the prisoners at ease during difficult times that often led them into her care, however Robert found it hard not to scoff at her naivety. Most inmates found themselves with no option but to fight and Robert was certain that Aaron had found himself in that very situation. He knew Jason was responsible for the vicious pummelling inflicted on Aaron and he was determined that Jason would pay for it.

Finally finding the time to show his face on E wing he was disconcerted to find Aaron nowhere in sight in the communal area and made his way fleet footed up to the E3 landing. He tapped gently on Aaron's cell door reminded of his earlier mistake of walking in unannounced. He peered in and saw Aaron sat propped up on the bed. ''Hi, I heard you were back. I would've come to see you earlier but I was drowning in reports all day.''

Aaron swung his legs to the floor and Robert noted the sharp inhale and wince. ''Yeah, great to be back.'' Aaron bitterly shook his head and looked at the dank and mundane surroundings as he wrapped an arm protectively around his midsection.

''Ribs?'' Robert asked unable to react to the pain that Aaron was clearly struggling with. The concern in his tone he decided not to dwell on.

''Yeah, the nurse said it could take up to 6 weeks to heal.''

''You haven't been attacked again?'' Robert had serious worries that Jason was a constant threat, hunting Aaron like prey, but shockingly Jason hadn't struck again violently or verbally. No one on the wing had taunted or tormented Aaron regarding his sexuality either. The only evidence Aaron uncovered that told him in no uncertain terms that he was still on Jason's radar was the present left under his pillow.

''No. I've not even seen the guy.''

Aaron looked solemn. His demeanour downcast and shoulders hunched and heavy. Robert felt a swell of need to help knowing Aaron's current predicament. He just needed proof. A statement from Aaron. With trepidation he broached the subject. ''I know I've asked this before and I let it drop so you could focus on getting better, but who beat you up?''

Aaron released a huff of what Robert suspected with annoyance. As a matter of fact it was, but it wasn't down to his persistence and actually came down to Aaron having to deceive the one person who seemed to trust him. ''You know I can't say.''

Robert decided on a much more direct approach and asked him outright. ''Was it Jason?'' He spotted Aaron's eyes flicker and his lip pulled between his teeth. He knew Aaron couldn't grass, and felt guilty for placing him in that predicament. He was torn between pushing to protect Aaron and to not push Aaron away completely. ''I'm gonna take that silence as a yes. I swear I won't do anything until I catch him in the act. It won't be traced back to you.''

Aaron scoffed derisively. ''It doesn't matter. It's only a matter of time until he gets to me again.''

'''I won't let that happen.'' Robert promised instantly. His protective side surprising both Aaron and himself.

''If it's not him that finishes me off it will be someone else.'' Aaron shrugged defeatedly as he sat back down on the bed. ''They'll all know.''

''Know what?'' Robert had lost the thread and urgently wanted to understand what had Aaron so spooked. ''What's happened?''

Aaron turned his back on him and initially Robert presumed he had gone too far. Had pressured him too much. Then Aaron rotated back and handed him what looked like a newspaper cutting from under his pillow. Robert looked at the headline and then back to Aaron. Immediately the man avoided his gaze. Pulled his sleeves over his hands as he blinked back tears that threatened to fall. Paragraph after paragraph surprised him; Jackson, murder, euthanised, not guilty, boyfriend, gay. A myriad of information to process, but once he reached the conclusion of the article and digested the words his opinion of Aaron had no changed in the slightest.

''He found this?''

Aaron confirmed with a bob of the head, suddenly standing and pacing frantically as if he wanted to escape from his own body. He looked at Robert almost expectantly. Waiting. ''Go on then?''

Robert met his gaze, could see fear. Anguish. ''Go on then what?'' Robert stood and moved in closer to the tense man.

''Have a go. Call me queer. Faggot. That I'm sick.'' Aaron sneered as tears streamed down his face and Robert grabbed hold of both arms in an effort to ground him. To think Aaron would assume he'd react like that left Robert in no doubt that others in the past had. He was projecting his fears onto him and it made him angry and his blood boil that someone had made Aaron feel that way. All he wanted was to comfort Aaron. ''Go on! Say it!''

Robert was stunned by the torment evident in Aaron's voice. ''I'm not gonna do that, Aaron. It doesn't matter if you're gay.''

''Does to Jason.''

The officer was aware that Jason had a history of homophobic abuse and attacks. The man revelled in hurting people. ''It doesn't to me.''

Aaron sniffed and Robert saw disbelief cross his features. Waiting for the abuse. The disgust. Robert smiled trying to convey his true intentions and beliefs and slowly Aaron seemed to have faith in him. A small fleeting smile arose and Robert swiped a thumb over Aaron's left cheek to rub away the track of his tears. They held each others gaze and he became all too aware of how fast his heart hammered and his limbs trembled.

He broke the moment and took a sharp step back. ''You have nothing to be ashamed of, Aaron. Remember that.'' Robert strode briskly from Aaron's cell. Stopping at the foot of the stairs, taking a deep breath to get himself together.

Their conversation replayed over in his head and he couldn't halt his movements and made his way straight for Jason's cell. Ignoring common courtesy of knocking he barged straight in and slammed the ruling top dog up against the wall.

''I'm watching you, Cook!'' He warned as the anger flooded his senses. ''If I so much as hear you've stepped a millimeter out of line I'll make your life hell!''

''What the fuck are you going on about? I could have you done for assault!'' Jason remarked smugly. For far too long he had been untouchable on E wing. The arrogance dripped from every pore. He didn't answer to Robert or any screw. He was the one in charge in his warped mind.

Robert rammed him into the stone wall again and practically growled. ''If you threaten or hurt any inmate in here again you'll have me to deal with.''

''Oh, I'm really scared.'' Jason mocked with a grin that sent Robert's temper flaring all the more.

''You have no idea who you're messing with, Cook.'' Robert pushed him hard onto the bed. ''You've been warned!'' Robert strode through the wing struggling to reign in the anger that coursed through his veins. He made it to the E wing officers bathroom and stared at his reflection. He didn't even want to contemplate the reasons behind such a visceral reaction to Aaron's confession and squashed any potential explanation that dared to make itself known.

...................................

Another shakedown had been instructed by Lawrence in desperation to rid the wing of its drug problem. The board had given Lawrence an earful after news of the OD's made its way into the local newspaper. Subsequently the Governor shifted blame onto the E wing staff for the drug issue and the leak to the press as he verbally berated them in that mornings brief.

Most shakedowns weren't met with enthusiasm by the inmates, however today they appeared almost hostile. Rowdy prisoners were swearing and threatening the officers as their cells were tossed and some even battled to keep the PO's from entering their cells.

Stood half way up the stairs that conjoined the E1 and E2 landings Jason whistled for attention. ''Fenwick this is out of order! We are sick and tired of this bollocks. This will be the fifth shakedown this month!''

''Well if you neanderthals stopped getting stoned and overdosing we wouldn't have to! You brought this on yourself! You lot all caused the trouble!'' Fenwick was an experienced officer and had little tolerance for mouthy inmates.

''You think that's trouble? We can show you trouble, Fenwick!'' Jason threatened as he riled up the prisoners around him who commenced in booing and cussing at the officers conducting the searches. ''You're violating are human rights.''

''Shut it Cook! You all forfeited your human rights when you got locked up.'' Fenwick bellowed as he informed another officer to enter the next cell.

''You wanna keep treating us like animals then we'll start acting like 'em.'' Jason warned as he signalled toward gang members on the floor above. The echoes of stomping feet commenced. The wing started to rumble, the vibrations could be felt underfoot as the majority of inmates fell in line behind Jason.

''Alright calm down! Get back in your cells!'' Fenwick bellowed, but it was barely audible above the raucous behaviour of the inmates. ''Get back in your cells now!'' The prisoners stomping grew faster and louder and suddenly the situation exploded.

Violence broke out in every area, tables and chairs turned over and thrown. Prisoners from the E2 and E3 landing started launching books, shower gel, shampoo, mugs, cutlery and anything else they could get a hold of onto the steel grating that separated each floor.

Fenwick's efforts to tame and control the situation were fruitless. Inmates jumped over the railings onto the grating urging and cheering on inmates that were fighting. Scraps were taking place on the floor, up against walls and on the stairs. A loud smash drew Robert's attention upward and he saw a sink shatter. The prisoners were out of control, destroying their cells, and battering officers. The situation was spiralling fast and furiously into a full blown riot.

Robert was stunned by the chaos. It was pure anarchy. The panic alarm blared as the PO's lost control. His colleagues were attempting to wrangle the baying mob without success and were being shoved backwards toward the gate. He tried to get through the crowds, being jostled and barged around as he made his way through. An aggressive bump to the middle of his spine sent him sprawling forward. He reached out and broke his fall with his hands, but before he could get back to his feet he was knocked back down. A sense of dread filled him instantly and he could see feet in his vision at every point on the compass. He attempted to bolt forward, but he was swiftly cut off and a hard punch cracked his jaw. Another to his stomach drove the air from his lungs. His legs buckled as another blow connected. He tried to curl into a ball in a futile attempt to protect himself, but his arms and legs were seized and his body was open for more punishment. Pain shot through him. He could feel blood trickling from his nose. Could taste copper on his tongue. He squeezed his eyes shut as he realised he wasn't going to make it out of there alive. At any moment the fatal blow could be inflicted. And all that comprised Robert's vision in his mind were stunning blue eyes, a bearded jaw and a beautiful smile.

.............................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was there a moment between Aaron and Rob? Will Robert survive the riot?! 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> If you would like you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	7. Riot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support for this fic and I apologise that this chapter took a little longer than usual to write. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as it's a BIG, important chapter!!!

 

 

 

An avalanche of kicks and punches crashed down onto Robert. A hard kick blasted his temple which sent his head lolling to the side. A high pitched ringing pierced his ear drums and his vision distorted. His lungs burned, unable to gasp in enough oxygen as he received no respite from the thrashing. Through his dazed state he was sure he heard a sneer by a being that was close to him on the ground.

_''Who's making who's life hell now, screw?''_

The brutality felt endless and Robert had no fight left in his body. The sheer level of the beating had drained his energy. Besides he was well aware if he even managed to get back on his feet it wouldn't help. There were far too many inmates surrounding him and he had no backup from his colleagues. He would barely make it a step.

Time seemed to stretch out. The wait for the fatal blow almost become more torturous than the savage beat down already inflicted.

A pause came in the violence.

Suddenly he felt a strong hold under his armpits and he was dragged along the ground. The deafening noise ramped up louder as he was hauled to his feet. His arm was slung over a shoulder and a firm protective grip fixed around his waist. He was hustled and shoved, but he kept moving. He suspected he was being more carried than walking on his own volition. His legs were shaking causing him to stumble and falter, but the strong being aiding him kept him upright and moving.

A loud slam echoed and he fell back against a hard brick wall. He collapsed to the floor, his body giving out on him, but forced his eyes to remain open. Through blurred vision he attempted to focus and eventually the mist dissipated and he could clearly identify Aaron pushing a cabinet up against the cell door and barricading them in.

Aaron had got him out of there. Aaron had saved his life.

Robert watched dumbfounded as the man proceeded to block the entrance with anything that carried a significant weight. It was then that Robert became aware of the pounding fists of the inmates against the heavy metal door with the panic alarm as the backing track. The riot produced pure anarchy and chaos reigned on E wing!

After heaving several objects to ensure Sugden's safety, including wedging the bed against the accumulated pile and the far wall, Aaron finally rested. His rapid heart rate finally slowing. It had raced into overdrive the moment he saw Sugden fall to the floor. Instantly he knew what the fate of the officer would be and without hesitation or fear he raced to help. He barged and shouldered inmates out of his path and when he was close to Sugden's battered body he saw Jason crouched by his head. Still Aaron kept moving and sent Jason sprawling backwards with a rough shove and threw some vicious punches to keep others at bay. He knew he had to move fast and with a practically unconscious Sugden weighing him down he made a beeline for the nearest cell that just so happened to be Ronnie's. It was vacant and Aaron briefly paused hoping Ronnie was doing okay in the melee outside.

''What did you do that for?'' Robert winced as his throat burned and his cut lip stung. He tested his jaw by moving it up and down and side to side and thankfully it seemed to not be dislocated or broken.

''You've saved me enough times, figured I owed you.'' Aaron ran a thumb over the knuckles of his right hand, skin scraped off and bleeding. He flexed the appendage and he hissed at the jolt of pain.

''You okay?'' It dawned on Robert that Aaron didn't just get him out of there, he fought to get him out of there. The bloody and swollen knuckles were evidence to that. Aaron nodded faintly before turning his back on him. ''Saving me won't do you any favours with the inmates,'' Robert reluctantly pointed out.

Saving a screw would never be good for any cons reputation. Whilst Robert looked at it as brave both men were well aware that the inmates would see it in an entirely different light.

''My coffins already waiting for me. The minute Jason tells 'em all about me being gay they'll be a price on my head. Thought I might as well hammer in the last nail myself.''

The macabre statement lit a fire in Robert and he silently pledged to protect Aaron at all costs. Robert looked over to see the man running a cloth under the cold tap and tentatively approach. Aaron crouched down in front of him pausing as if asking for permission which Robert swiftly granted with a gentle bob of the head. The water was freezing and a shock to his system, however that paled in comparison to how Robert felt about Aaron's gentle touch as the cloth swept over his face.

''How bad is it?'' Judging by the amount of red rivers running down and staining the collar of his crisp white shirt Robert would hazard a guess that he looked in a rather bad state. After only a few strokes the white cloth had turned bright red too.

''Don't look much worse than normal,'' Aaron lightheartedly teased, his sarcastic nature making an appearance for the first time in Sugden's company. After the traumatic event that had befallen the officer Aaron thought he could at least attempt to lighten the mood and distract from the threat that still lingered on the opposite side of the cell door.

''Watch it,'' Robert chuckled before clutching at his side. He was positive bruises would bloom all over his body as it ached all over. ''Don't make me laugh, it hurts.''

''Sorry,'' Aaron smiled faintly in apology. He dabbed around Sugden's swollen right eye and wiped away the final remnants of blood from around the officers bloodied nose. He returned to the sink and ran his own war wounds under the ice cold water.

''How long do you think this will go on for?'' Robert queried as the panic alarm fell silent, not having experienced a riot before. He had learned the protocol in his training; if the situation is unable to be contained leave the wing for your own safety. The protocol had been followed by his colleagues, but he had been unable.

''Until they run out of smokes and food most likely,'' Aaron answered remembering back to the two riots that he had been present for. Usually riots rapidly lost their steam and would be resolved within hours by the officers gaining reinforcements and the majority of inmates retreating to their cells once the high jinx and adrenaline wore off. Riots that lasted longer usually ceased when the luxuries ran dry and that had been the climax of one of the riots during his stay in HMP Hotten.

''Got some time to kill then?'' Robert attempted to manoeuvre into a more comfortable position that eased the pressure on his spine, but he gasped as a new shockwave of agony flowed through him.

Aaron rushed to his side and guided the injured man onto the bed. Just because its primary function at that moment was a barricade didn't mean it couldn't also be used for its original purpose as well. ''Better?''

Robert nodded as he caught Aaron's eyes. For a fleeting moment they held each others gaze before Aaron broke away and stood at the edge of the bed. ''Talk to me.''

''About what?'' Aaron asked warily.

''Anything. Your life before jail, family, hobbies,'' Robert encouraged, yet remained cautious of pushing the man too hard or too far.

''Not a lot to tell.'' Aaron paced back and forth within the tiny area of the 6 by 8 foot cell. His nerves started to fray as the finely crafted walls that he had built long ago rose up. For so long he had hidden his past and who he used to be and now it was hard to even contemplate bringing up his life prior to HMP Hotten.

''How big is your family?'' Robert saw the change in Aaron the moment he proposed they converse about his personal life and he was torn between pushing further or dropping the topic altogether. Instead he opted for an alternative by asking Aaron a question he gave the man a launching point and it was solely Aaron's choice on whether he wanted to use it or not.

''Massive,'' Aaron answered as he stood stock still in front of Sugden. For many years he had never mentioned his family and tried to erase them from his memory which had been an exercise in futility. They ran too deep into his past life to be so easily removed and deep down Aaron was glad of that. So many faces suddenly rushed to the forefront of his mind as he sunk to the mattress perching on the edge. ''A lot of my family still live in Emmerdale, the village where I grew up.''

''In Yorkshire, right?''

''Yeah. My mum she ran the local pub and I lived with her. My uncle Cain and cousin Debbie own the garage I worked at. Then there was Marlon, Sam, Charity, Zak and Lisa, they all still live in the village as far I know.'' Aaron had received no updates on his family for years, not since his last visit from Paddy.

''Any siblings?'' Robert questioned, his mind automatically going to his little sister the moment families are the subject of conversation.

''Got a half sister, Liv. She'll be fifteen now.'' Aaron smiled as he recalled this blonde little girl with the cheekiest grin, but it swiftly faded away. ''I haven't seen her for nearly ten years. I doubt I'd even recognise her if she was stood right in front of me.''

''How come?''

''My dad kicked me out. He got fed up of me being in trouble and skiving. Liv stayed with him and her mum Sandra. Then when Sandra wised up and realised what a prick my dad was she legged it and took Liv with her.''

Robert noticed Aaron had a far off look in his eye, seemingly lost in what he guessed were childhood memories of him and his little sister. Robert could sympathise. Whilst he had many more years with Victoria than Aaron had gotten with Liv his own recollections were vague and it seemed the more time that passed the more elusive those memories became. ''I've got a sister, Victoria. She's a year younger than you. I haven't seen her much since I left home at 19.''

''Why'd you leave?'' Aaron enquired growing more at ease with the personal nature of the conversation with Sugden. He found himself being genuinely interested in the officers life, just like Sugden appeared to be about his.

''I had issues with my dad. He was always disappointed in me. No matter what I did it always seemed to be wrong in his eyes,'' Robert said as he shook his head bitterly, the emotions still raw after all the intervening years. ''Andy, my brother, he was the golden boy and in my dads eyes he could do no wrong.''

''But you could?''

''Oh yeah. Andy wanted to follow in my fathers footsteps of running the farm, but I had other plans. I didn't want to follow the path mapped out for me and that didn't go down so well.''

''You're a farm boy?'' Aaron chuckled incredulously not believing for a second that a pretty boy like Sugden had lived and worked on a farm a day in his life. Everything about Sugden screamed the high life. Through the bars of his cell window he had seen Sugden arrive in the morning in a flash motor, wearing what Aaron assumed was an expensive leather jacket and had a damn Rolex on his wrist which surprisingly was still there and hadn't been stolen by any tea leaves on the wing during the riot.

''Why's that so surprising?'' Robert smiled, amused by Aaron's reaction.

''Just cant imagine you getting your hands dirty.'' To Aaron he seemed so confident, had even seen a smug side to the man especially when around his father-in-law to be. Sugden would be right at home giving out orders, not carrying them out himself. However as was the case all too often with Officer Sugden the man would surprise him.

''For your information I worked on that farm pretty much from the moment I could walk.'' Robert nudged playfully at Aaron's shoulder and was pleased to see a smile on the mans face too. ''I was up at the crack of dawn every fucking morning.''

''Is that why you didn't like it?''

''No, not really. Farming just didn't interest me or challenge me. I wanted more from life.'' Robert had uttered those very words to his father and received a barrage of abuse and was branded a traitor to his family and their heritage.

''So what did challenge ya?''

''When I left the village I wound up in London and I worked my way up in the corporate world. Started as an intern at this small business and I really enjoyed it. I was good at it. I moved to a different firm eventually where I became department manager and I was on the verge of being promoted to deputy manager,'' Robert answered as he fondly travelled down a memory lane that held positive feelings and accomplishments. He had thrived in the corporate world and found his niche. It still aggravated him that it had all been taken away.

''So what the hell are you doing in this dump?'' Aaron couldn't fathom why anyone would voluntarily subject themselves to coming into HMP Hotten if they didn't have to and he wondered why Sugden was wasting all his business acumen.

''The firm went into administration. I got made redundant,'' Robert sighed hating that his career and life as a whole had crashed and burned and he was stuck in the wreckage with a job he loathed, with the worse boss he could imagine and Chrissie relentlessly badgering him about their impending wedding. ''Chrissie decided she wanted to move back closer to daddy dearest and his money and I was pretty much forced into this job.''

''Well it was worth it. I mean look where you are right now,'' Aaron snorted along with another sarcastic grin. ''You're in the middle of a riot, you're beaten up and locked in a cell with a con...you're living the dream.''

Robert burst out laughing with Aaron joining in the joviality. The circumstances were currently dire, it had been a terrible day and yet somehow he found himself laughing happily with Aaron whilst being blissfully ignorant to the pandemonium outside the cell.

''Not all aspects about this job are bad,'' Robert whispered softly as the chortling subsided. He turned his head to Aaron and was struck by the eyes looking back at him. He was swept up in ocean blue and instead of fighting against the current he let himself be carried by the tide. Aaron promptly turned and broke his reverie and Robert cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. ''Tell me more about your family?''

Aaron regaled the stories of the Dingle family's less than squeaky clean reputation with the law informing Sugden that anyone would be hard pressed to find a Dingle who hadn't at least been given a caution by the police. Aaron mentioned a few petty crimes, leaving out the details and the family members' name. A voice in the back of his head reminded him that he was still talking to an officer, despite feeling nothing but trust toward the man sat beside him. Still ingrained in him very quickly once he arrived in prison was don't trust anybody.

Robert was enraptured by the entertaining tales of the Dingle clan and saw the affection Aaron held for his family written all over his face. It made Robert realise that he had a family member that wanted him in their life. Victoria texted and emailed regularly and much too often he'd ignore her for weeks before sending a curt reply. He resolved to make more of an effort to communicate and spend time with his little sister. ''Born on the wrong side of the tracks then, huh?''

''Guess you could say that,'' Aaron chuckled. ''We can't all be model citizens, can we?''

Robert scoffed and shook his head, ''I'm no angel, believe me.''

''What did you get caught nicking gobstoppers as a kid?'' Unleashing another sarcastic retort Aaron had a feeling Officer Sugden may just shock him all over again. He had a penchant in doing so.

''I managed to dodge jail time, but I could have wound up in here at one point.'' Robert watched the astonishment appear before Aaron urged him to continue. ''Remember me saying about leaving Beckindale at 19? Well me and my brother we didn't get on, you see he killed my mum.''

''What the fuck?''

''It was an accident,'' Robert quickly clarified, although he still held Andy totally accountable for her death. ''But he killed her and my dad covered for him. For a long time the anger in me led me to make stupid decisions like trying to steal his girlfriend and fighting with him and eventually one day it all came to a head.''

''What happened?'' Aaron could see how deeply affected Sugden was just by talking about his mum, brother and father and wondered if he shouldn't have pried, but it seemed the officer felt comfortable enough to share the information with him. It had been so long since anyone had trusted him and Aaron could feel a warmth spread through him as his stomach flipped and tied in knots.

''We played chicken down this old country lane. We were about to smash into one another when Andy's passenger grabbed the wheel. They swerved off the road and crashed. I ran over and saw the car was on fire so I pulled Andy out the wreckage, but before I could get to Max it exploded. He died.''

''What happened after that?''

''My dad arrived, blamed me, and told me to leave Beckindale and never go back.'' Robert fought back the tears that threatened to fall and took a deep breath in a bid to suppress his trembling voice. He hadn't told anyone those particular details of his past, not even Chrissie. Yet somehow telling Aaron had been easy and there was no judgement in the mans eyes as he looked at him. ''My dad disowned me that day, but the son that killed his wife, my mum, he protected.''

''I'm sorry.'' Aaron didn't know what to say to comfort the man despite feeling the need and wanting to. He himself felt overwhelmed that Sugden felt comfortable enough to share such a dark memory with him and the importance wasn't lost on him.

''I never spoke to my dad again. He died years ago, and I didn't even go to the funeral. Not properly anyway. I watched from a distance and visited his grave when everyone else had gone,'' Robert explained thinking back on how he agonised over whether to go or not, before realising he couldn't face all those people. Some may see it as cowardice, but Robert felt he owed his father and Andy nothing. The only regret he harboured was that he wasn't there for Victoria that day.

''So you don't talk to anyone from your old life back in Beckindale?''

''Just Vic really,'' Robert answered as he regained control of his emotions. ''Occasionally I phone my step-mum, Diane.'' Diane was a warmhearted woman and he was grateful that she was there to look out for Victoria, however their relationship had never been as close as that of Diane and his sister or Diane and Andy's. Robert often wondered how Jack had talked about him to Diane, he was in no doubt that Jack painted him as the villain of the piece.

''I haven't talked to any of my family since I got sent down. My mum hates me for what I did.'' Aaron recalled the sad look in her eyes when the police cuffed him, and then the hatred and disgust when he confessed to the crime. ''The only person that's visited me in here is Paddy. And even he stopped after 6 months. Guess he finally figured out I wasn't worth the hassle.''

Robert was delighted that Aaron's defences were crumbling and that the man felt a similar trust that Robert had found in him. ''Who's Paddy?''

''My dad. Well...sort of dad. It's a long story,'' Aaron shrugged noncommittally. He had a far off look in his eye thinking back to the relationship he forged with his pseudo father.

''We've got nothing but time,'' Robert reminded him with the biggest smile he could manage without reopening the wound on his lip all over again.

''He went out with my mum for a bit and I hated him at first. I thought he was a complete moron, but it turned out he was a decent bloke. My mum cheated on him with this complete waste of space and by that point Paddy and I were mates so I ended up staying with him.'' Aaron smiled thinking back on how he finally felt he had a home, a sense of stability for the very first time in his life. Until fate intervened repeatedly and eventually gave him a 25 year stretch behind bars.

''So your mum left you?'' An answering nod came from his fellow captive and the parallel of having a less than admirable parent didn't escape Robert's notice. He briefly pondered if that was the cause for the connection he felt toward the man.

''My mum ran out on me twice, Paddy though he looked after me, kept a roof over my head even when I gave him every excuse to kick me out. He was the first person I came out too.'' The fear of vocalising his sexuality had been a colossal burden to bear and after years of hiding to be embraced and told nothing had changed meant the world to him. ''I beat him to a pulp because I hated who I was, because I couldn't accept it, but he did nothing but support me. He never called the cops on me. He didn't judge me. He was proud of me.''

''Sounds like the kinda dad we all need.'' Robert had certainly wished for a father that believed in him, understood him and loved him for exactly who he was.

''He told me he thought of me as his son and from that day on I thought of him as my dad. No one had cared for me like that before. The slightest problem, the first sign of trouble and they'd run a mile, but he stayed and he helped.'' Aaron tugged at the sleeves of his sweater, the fabric covering his hands and he rubbed at his eyes to stem the flow of tears that welled up. ''Well he did, until now. I can't really blame him for walking away after being convicted.''

''Have you never talked to Paddy or your mum about your conviction?''

''No!'' Aaron snapped with an angered lilt to his voice. ''And I'm not talking about it now either.'' Anytime his crime was brought up he'd battle to shut it down before it even started. Routinely he would travel back in time, the ornament cold and heavy in his hand, the crack and the dull thud as the body hit the floor at his feet.

''Fair enough.'' Robert held his hands up in surrender not wanting to cross a line, even more so now after getting Aaron to lower his barriers and discuss more personal subjects. ''So when you came out was Jackson your first boyfriend?''

''Yeah he was. To be honest I've only really been in two proper relationships. I'm not good at 'em, always been better on my own.'' A nonchalant shrug accompanied the statement, but Aaron would give anything to not be suffocating in the loneliness that he had been for the last 4 years.

With a sigh and striking honesty Robert said, ''Sometimes I think the same.''

''Bit late for that now you're engaged, mate,'' Aaron quipped, however he registered the man was being serious. A contemplative look adorned Sugden's features as if the realisation had only just dawned on him. ''You do wanna get married, right?''

''Of course!'' Robert replied in an instant, although it was more out of reflex than actually confirming the truth. Chrissie should be everything he wanted; she was attractive, wealthy, a high status, but Robert had growing doubts with each and every passing day. ''I just occasionally find myself thinking maybe Chrissie isn't right for me. Or I'm not right for her.''

''How d'ya mean?''

''For the longest time I wanted to have money, the flash car, the expensive house, but lately it just feels empty. When I look at Chrissie I don't feel anything. There's no spark,'' Robert huffed a heavy sight of resignation. ''We've changed. Our relationship is different somehow.''

''It doesn't sound like Chrissie's changed. It sounds like you have.'' From Aaron's first perception of Robert he'd have figured Chrissie to be the mans perfect match, but upon learning more about the blonde man Aaron found himself thinking Robert's apparent apprehension was well placed.

Robert's eyes fixed on Aaron as if he had just found the missing piece of the puzzle. ''Maybe I have. I keep wondering lately if there is someone else out there that's perfect for me. Who wouldn't mind an occasional quiet night in just lounging on the sofa, ordering a takeaway and just watching a film instead of dressing to the nines and going to every posh restaurant in the vicinity just to be seen.'' That was Chrissie's modus operandi. Show herself and her partner off to the other elite, make wealthy acquaintances, establish her status as much as possible and Robert was growing increasingly weary of the entire lifestyle. Whilst a fan of fine dining himself and trying out different cuisine, a low key night at home would be welcomed too.

''That sounds like my kinda night,'' Aaron smiled in Sugden's direction, before clarifying, ''the night in I mean. Definitely not the swanky restaurants. I don't think I'd fit in all that well.''

Robert couldn't help but chuckle along with Aaron, ''I dunno. I bet you'd look good in a suit.'' Robert grinned as Aaron's intense gaze found his own. The words had left his mouth without forethought and he felt his heart start to race. Time stood still. He caught Aaron's eyes flicker to his mouth and back again and his body pulsed with want. It lingered in the air and crackled between them.

Then the moment shattered abruptly as a pounding fist on the door broke the spell. Fenwick's voice boomed inquiring after Robert's status then subsequently informed them both that E wing was back under control and all inmates were on lockdown. The riot had burnt out fast and was fully extinguished when a substantial amount of officers accumulated at the gates in riot gear.

Both men got to their feet with intentions of clearing a path so they could exit the cell they had discovered sanctuary in, but Aaron stopped Robert in his tracks insisting on doing it himself. ''Can't have you getting even more hurt than you already are, can we?''

The feeling of disappointment gathered speed within Robert as he wished that he could spend more time alone in Aaron's company, to remain barricaded in their own private little world so he could peel back more layers of the enigmatic man. So far what he knew of Aaron Dingle left him craving more.

Now enlightened Robert was certain that he was travelling along a dangerous road. Yet as he took one final glance back at Aaron before medical personnel carried him away, he was certain that he couldn't slam on the brakes. His eyes were wide open. The destination he desired was crystal clear.

.........................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one of the first things planned in this entire story so I was both excited and apprehensive about finally reaching this point. The boys bonding and actually breaking through to each other is a pivotal moment...where will they go from here??? 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> And as always if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	8. Aftermath

 

 

  
The restaurant was sophisticated and expensive, a hum of what Robert regarded as asinine chatter from every direction, essentially all that the White's looked for when it came to dining. Not once did appraising the food and actually determining if it was appetising matter, it was all about status, showing off, proving their upper class credentials and Robert found himself growing increasingly frustrated by the very facets that drew him to Chrissie in the first place.

Robert had been dragged out of the house that night by an insistent Chrissie for a family meal with Lawrence. He wouldn't want to go at the best of times, but seeing as he was still recuperating from the attack during the riot he wasn't enthused by social activities at all. Thankfully the cuts and bruises to his face had healed over the last week and a half so he wouldn't be gawped at, nor looked down on by the social elite in Bella Napoli, the Italian restaurant in Hotten that Lawrence raved about. In all honesty the low key night Aaron said he'd enjoy whilst they were confined together in that cell was infinitely more appealing to Robert than the one he was currently being made to suffer through.

Despite being on the mend Robert's ribs still gave him problems. His torso was a canvas of blue, black and purple bruises and at their edges they smudged into greens and browns. The doctor ordered him onto bed rest for the first 5 days after the assault and at least 2 weeks off from any heavy duties which Lawrence granted begrudgingly and with a snide remark regarding Robert's work ethic. Riled by the comment Robert managed to contain the venom, swallow it down and ignore the cantankerous old fool.

''So now because of the riot the board wanted heads to roll which led to Miss Stewart's departure,'' Lawrence reported as he shovelled in a mouthful of linguine ai frutti di mare. ''She wasn't suitable for the position as Wing Governor anyway.''

Robert scoffed and shook his head, ''She seemed to manage fine to me. Besides I'm sure her sacking had nothing to do with your own self preservation.'' He knew full well he was acting antagonistic, but after Lawrence's remarks about him taking time off to heal, and being dragged here against his will he felt Lawrence was overdue a scathing rebuttal.

''Stewart wasn't sacked, she tended her resignation for your information, Robert,'' Lawrence snarled at him before shaking his head condescendingly toward Chrissie. Any chance he could get to show his disapproval he'd firmly grasp in both hands.

''Oh come on! She was pushed out the door. She was given an ultimatum to resign or be fired and she was left with no choice,'' Robert persisted ignoring the warning glare from his significant other. Undoubtedly he would receive an earful from Chrissie once they arrived home.

''Look lets change the subject,'' Chrissie urged in an effort to play peacemaker. ''How is the young man that saved Robert doing?''

''I don't know. I haven't been to see him.'' Lawrence shrugged, if anything he would have preferred Robert to be left to the pack of wolves. In his mind it was only a matter of time until Chrissie woke up and realised how beneath her Robert Sugden really is.

''You've not thanked him for saving Robert's life?'' Chrissie replied aghast. ''Surely he deserves that at the very least?''

''I haven't had the time.'' Lawrence lied. He'd made a life and career through deception, after well over half a century why would he change the habit of lifetime. ''I'm now not only the Prisoner Governor now Chrissie, I'm running E wing too.''

''Well maybe you should make the time.'' Robert interjected, rubbing salt into the wound whilst simultaneously immensely enjoying watching Lawrence squirm. It was rare for him to gain the upper hand over the old man where Chrissie was concerned and he would take full advantage of it. Although Chrissie wasn't exactly the person at the forefront of his mind when it came down to how he could work this into his favour. ''I'd say the man deserves some recognition for his bravery.''

''So would I,'' Chrissie agreed. ''Why don't you give him a television or music system just for him.''

Robert fought the urge to roll his eyes at Chrissie's ludicrous suggestion, but bit back the retort as she was currently an ally in this particular battle ground. ''Or how about you rescind the additional days you added to his sentence?'' Robert smugly grinned over at Lawrence. ''I think that would be a fitting gesture for saving the life of one of your employees.''

''I think that's a little excessive...''

''Really? Think of the alternatives if he hadn't saved me; major press attention, a dead body in your prison, and surely the board would've demanded more than just Stewart's resignation.'' Robert could barely contain his glee as he worked Lawrence like a puppet and the scowl adorning the older mans face symbolised a victory.

''That's a great idea,'' Chrissie agreed.

And with her backing Robert was certain the deal was sealed.

''Fine,'' Lawrence acquiesced through gritted teeth and if looks could kill Robert was well aware he'd be six foot under.

Robert couldn't wipe the smug smile from his face and looked forward to returning to HMP Hotten to tell Aaron the good news. The night improved further when both Lawrence and Chrissie turned down dessert which meant the meal from hell was complete. The dinner was swiftly paid with Lawrence making a pathetic and desperate attempt at saving face by lording it over him, playing the rich man and insisting on paying the bill.

Whilst there had been a noticeable decrease in his income financially since being booted from the corporate world Robert could easily cover the price himself and Robert found the pettiness from his soon to be father-in-law entertaining knowing that he had beat him at his own game that night.

On the way to the exit Lawrence ran into a group of fellow wealthy acquaintances and the conversation dipped into the shallowest of waters and it made Robert's skin crawl. How could he have ever wanted this life? His mind drifted back to a week and half ago and into a 6 by 8 foot cell. Aaron's assessment of him may have been correct. Perhaps he had changed. Or possibly it was just a case of Robert discovering something else entirely that he truly wanted.

...............................

Robert returned to work two weeks to the day from the riot and for most of his day found himself submerged in reports in relation to that days chaotic events. Eventually he emerged and managed to head to E wing, but the one person he wanted to see was proving elusive.

The moment Robert saw Aaron appear and striding across the ground floor of E wing he made his way toward him eagerly. ''Hey, glad to be free?''

''Yeah, two weeks of lockdown drove me insane,'' Aaron admitted. Living in a tiny cell was bad enough, but to be cooped up day in and day out for fourteen days, having all your meals in that claustrophobic space, being let out only a few times to shower was utter torture. There had been some rather strange occurrences over the last two weeks too. ''Do you know anything about me getting stuff given to me in my cell?''

Robert's brow creased. ''No. What do you mean?''

''Got car mags, chocolate, cigarettes, even a beer shoved through the hatch,'' Aaron whispered, looking around the vicinity cautiously hoping no other inmate heard about his preferential treatment.

''I guess my fellow officers are showing their gratitude,'' Robert chuckled. ''And speaking of which, I've got some good news. I managed to persuade the Governor to rescind your additional days for the drug bust.'' Aaron nodded halfheartedly, and in all honesty Robert expected a more elated or at at least a relieved reaction. ''You don't care?''

''No, no, I do. Thanks.'' Aaron rushed to show his appreciation after seeing the disappointment in Sugden's eyes. ''It's just...what can you do for the 25 years conviction?'' Aaron joked.

Robert now understood Aaron's mellow reaction. Of course an additional 60 days meant little in the grand scheme of things. He smiled faintly and patted Aaron on the shoulder and left the wing.

''Look who it is...it's the screw lover,'' An inmate Aaron didn't even know snarled into his face. He shoved Aaron in the chest, practically baiting him to retaliate. ''Come on screw lover, you got nothing to say?''

Aaron turned ready to remove himself from the situation, but a group of prisoners were stood in his way all hurling similar insults and threatening him. Aaron wished for Sugden to return, but he watched him exit the wing and the only screw near was Grayson who was the biggest asshole in the place. The safety and welfare of the prisoners wasn't high on his agenda, not unless you had him in your back pocket. Money was always an incentive when it came to Grayson, or at least that was the rumour doing the rounds on the wing the last few months.

Just as the situation was about to turn dire Ronnie stood shoulder to shoulder with him. ''Don't be flaming idiots! You should be thanking Aaron for stopping you! He saved you from months in solitary, additional charges and a life sentence in this hell hole.''

To Aaron's surprise the inmates baying for his blood backed off. It seemed Ronnie had quite the way with words. ''Thanks, mate. You didn't have to do that.''

''You're a good lad, Aaron. If I had the balls I would've done the same as you. Half the men in here are too thick to even realise that their actions would have had consequences.'' Ronnie had been around the block in HMP Hotten, had seen many prisoners come and go and Aaron was grateful for his presence at that moment in time. ''Anyway I've gotta head over to the library, I'll see you later.''

Aaron made for the stairs to return to the E3 landing and his cell, but as he ascended he sensed eyes burning a hole through his back. He looked back over his shoulder and found Jason staring menacingly at him and it was crystal clear that Ronnie may have extinguished the hate from most inmates, but nothing would stop Jason's.

........................

The shakedown was sprung on the inmates, officers engulfed the wing and the search had so far brought only a few results. Mainly junkies with a minimal stash who were carted off for a stay in solitary confinement, not the massive drug bust Lawrence was hoping for. Robert had suggested that the stash wasn't located on the wing, but elsewhere, yet any idea he had of conducting a thorough search elsewhere was shut down swiftly by Lawrence's arrogance.

As usual the PO's were subjected to a barrel of insults and abuse Robert now suffering from taunts in relation to the riot. Repeatedly being reminded of how close the inmates were to ending his life and how they would get him next time. Robert ignored them all and headed for the next cell on the E3 landing which just so happened to be Aaron's.

He sifted through the bedside locker, through clothes and footwear, through bathroom products and personal affects and found nothing. He tore the sheets from the bed and lifted the pillows and instantly saw a hefty sum of spice concealed underneath. Robert snapped his head to the left seeing no other officer in sight and pocketed the drugs. Robert poked his head out the door to see Aaron milling about on the landing, he jerked his head to signal Aaron to join him.

''Got anything you wanna tell me?'' Robert asked cryptically.

''What?''

Robert produced the bag from his trousers. ''Found this under your pillow, Aaron.''

Shock wrote itself all over Aaron's face and he shook his head in disbelief. ''It's not mine. I didn't put it there!'' Aaron gasped out in a rush to claim his innocence. He hadn't touched drugs for months, someone else had to have put it there. ''I swear Sir it's not mine. Piss test me if you want I promise I haven't touched any drugs!''

Robert saw the dismay and genuinely believed Aaron's story. He had seen the change in the man, and ever since he had gained entry into the fortress that was Aaron's world during the riot he found he trusted the mans word. ''I believe you.''

Aaron sighed in relief. His heart sank when Sugden produced the gear, fearful not only of being hauled to solitary, but of losing the connection he had formed with the officer. Despite not wanting to be bothered by it Officer Sugden's opinion mattered to him. It mattered so much that just the mere thought of losing it made Aaron's stomach drop and tie itself in knots.

''We both know who planted it, Aaron,'' Robert said, the unspoken words obvious to both men in the room. Robert was once again setting the table for Aaron to give him an answer without breaking the prison code and he hoped Aaron trusted him enough to confide in.

With reluctance Aaron offered a nod of confirmation which was followed by Sugden stuffing the spice back into his pocket and giving him a look that Aaron could only interpret as proud. His heart radiated warmth as Sugden squeezed his upper arms reassuringly and then bolted out the door.

His rivalry with Jason had gone beyond the prisoners code of conduct now. It was spiralling dangerously out of control. His very life was on the line and instead of being on the defensive and waiting for Jason to make a move it was time for Aaron to fire back. He held no regret in affirming Sugden's suspicions, but a trickle of apprehension still resided at what fallout would arise from his actions.

...........................

It was late. Lights out occurred hours ago so Aaron was shocked by the lock of his cell turning with a thunk. The glow of the moon through the barred window gave just enough light to show Officer Sugden shuffling in the doorway.

''I didn't wake you, did I?'' Robert asked in a hushed tone. Visiting Aaron was a risk that could bring forth a lot of questions from his colleagues that would be difficult to answer, but he didn't want to leave Aaron in the dark in relation to the situation with Jason.

''No, I couldn't sleep,'' Aaron answered as he stood up from the bed in his t-shirt and boxers, rubbing at his tired eyes. ''What are you doing here? I figured you would've finished your shift hours ago.''

''Yeah, I should've done, but err...I got tied up dealing with Cook.'' Robert was sure he would cop flack from Chrissie for staying so late, but it was necessary to be present through the procedure and the late night visit to Aaron was vital. At least in his view.

''Jason? What do you mean?'' Aaron's concerns were raised now knowing Sugden had taken some form of action against the perennial thorn in his side.

''You don't have to worry about Jason for the time being. He's been rewarded with a rather long stint in solitary.'' Robert smiled at the confusion gracing Aaron's face, finding the man incredibly endearing. ''He got busted for possession. We happened to find some spice hidden in his cell during the shakedown.''

Aaron connected the dots in a hurry and looked at Sugden completely shell-shocked. The officer had protected him, by setting up Jason instead! ''You planted the gear on him? Why would you do that?'' Aaron asked in disbelief, he couldn't fathom why Sugden would stick his neck out for him.

''I thought you deserved a break from him. And besides I owe you one, remember?'' Robert smiled affectionately, truly grateful for Aaron's timely and courageous interference during the riot. Yet it wasn't lost on him that most officers wouldn't go to the lengths he had that day to protect Aaron.

''Sir...''

''Robert, call me Robert,'' He interjected feeling as though he and Aaron were well past formalities at this point.

''You didn't have to do that. What if it comes back on you?'' Aaron didn't want to jeopardise his career, or have Jason turn his wrath onto him. Aaron felt instinctively protective of the man stood before him, and during the long 2 week of lockdown he had plenty of time to analyse the reasons for it.

''It won't, '' Robert assured him, ''I made sure another officer found the spice. Jason doesn't have a leg to stand on, so he's gonna be down the block for months. We all know he's behind the drug trade in here and Lawrence was more than happy to give him an extended stay down the block.'' That was a gigantic understatement Lawrence had been practically giddy at ridding the wing of it's biggest problem. Of course the esteemed Governor gave out plaudits and handshakes to all officers involved in the bust apart from him, and Robert expected nothing less of the man.

''I don't know what to say,'' Aaron whispered, completely astounded by Robert's gesture. Aaron looked into Robert's eyes eager for the man to register how grateful he truly was. ''Thank you. I don't get why you'd do that for me, but I really mean it, thank you.''

''I wanted to protect you,'' Robert stated fiercely. It felt like the moment Aaron Dingle stepped into his life he had a hold over Robert. Initially Robert simply put it down to wanting to impress in his new career, but it was if the shadow lifted and unveiled the truth during the riot and that truth was inching closer and closer to the surface.

''Why?''

Robert took a step closer. ''You know why.'' He swallowed the lump in his throat, his heart thundered inside his chest and his stomach had eagles swooping inside. He saw Aaron's eyes flicker to his lips and back to his own intense gaze and his body snapped and gave into temptation.

Robert tugged at the hem of Aaron's t-shirt pulling him into his body and their lips crashed together. Aaron was taken aback momentarily as Robert's hands cupped his face, holding him tightly and close, but he quickly found his feet and sunk into the embrace kissing Robert back with all the passion he had tried to restrain. Aaron's hands found Robert's strong shoulders and his fingers sank into and fisted the fabric of Robert's black uniform jumper. Their lips parted briefly, breathing each other in, the air crackling between them before Robert's plump lips met Aaron's again, both equally desperate and needing more.

Then abruptly Robert pulled away, stunned at his loss of control. He saw the confusion dancing in Aaron's eyes. Those blue eyes that captivated him over and over. Reality crashed into him, the walls started to close in, the ceiling caved in and Robert felt the need to escape.

  
''Robert?''

  
Aaron reached out for him, but he bolted from the cell, almost forgetting to lock it in his haste, leaving a dejected Aaron behind.

.......................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! There's much more to come ;)
> 
> If you want you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	9. The Art of Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the longer wait than usual with this chapter. Unfortunately real life occasionally gets in the way!!!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the aftermath of the kiss ;)

 

 

 

The kiss.

One that made his lips still tingle. The memory burned into his mind never to be forgotten. Hesitant hands at first, then a strong grasp on his body. The softest pink lips that breathed new life into him. The scratch of a beard that made his skin prickle and a shiver shudder down his spine.

Robert had replayed the kiss with Aaron over and over again as his emotions tangled into a web of regret, happiness, lust, disgust, disappointment, failure, happiness. Robert had ran from the kiss, from the cell and from Aaron. Figuratively as well as literally. Nearly a week had passed since he dashed from Aaron's cell and he hadn't stopped since. A hastily booked week off work to keep putting more and more distance between himself and Aaron was made in blind panic. His body may have come to a halt, but his mind was still frantic and breaking every speed limit. Air was still being driven from his scorched lungs. A heavy weight had settled on his chest constricting his air flow.  
  
Running wasn't an anomaly for him. Ever since he was 15 years old he had been running. Now 16 years later he was exhausted. His body faltering and legs buckling underneath him. His feet were blistered, bloody with shards of glass and stones embedded in his skin and Robert just wanted to stop. To stop running and to stop hiding. The demons that he'd battled and fled from all those years were catching up. An angry voice, a disgusted and disappointed glower, a clink of metal and a snap of leather, a loud crack that resembled a whip against young tender flesh, agony down the length of his spine, arching from the force of the blow, crawling and twisting away from another lash, tear stained cheeks and heaving sobs as he yelled and cried out in both pain and sadness. The demons were smothering him and he was being swallowed whole. Secrets that he had buried a long time ago had beaten their fists into a bloody pulp as they scratched and clawed from the coffin he had buried them in. They climbed through dirt and muck to be resurrected from the grave.

Robert knew he was at a cross roads in his life. That a decision weighed heavily, the scales tipping one way and then the other. He could either let the secrets be freed, embrace who he is and what he truly wants or he could grab the shovel, shift the dirt back into place and bury it all once more.

''Morning, darling,'' Chrissie smiled as she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. ''I've finally managed to get a meeting with the best wedding dress designer in the north of England so I'll be busy most of the day.''

Robert barely registered her presence as she roamed the kitchen making herself a strong black coffee. Her words were muffled being drowned out by gut-wrenching memories. Although one brought light among all the black and grey. The kiss with Aaron. He basked in its glow, finding safety from the shadows of his past.

''Are you listening?'' Chrissie jostled him and broke through the haze that had settled over him. ''I said have you thought anymore about your suit?''

''Suit?'' Robert asked perplexed completely oblivious to any conversing she had attempted.

''For the wedding, Robert! We're getting married in two months remember?'' Chrissie reminded him. As if he could ever forget. That day on the horizon filled him with dread. His bride to be rummaged through her handbag to ensure she had all she needed for her trip out that Robert had no idea about. ''Sometimes I wonder if you even want to get married!''

Chrissie kissed his cheek goodbye choosing instead to answer her ringing phone. Robert watched her leave with relief. He craved solitude. Time to analyse. Reflect. Choose. He felt numb to his very core. For so many years he had strove to be in the position he held now; to live in a luxurious home, to have status within the upper class, to be put on a pedestal, to have money and the glamorous wife and instead of relishing accomplishing it all he found himself jeopardising it for a prisoner under his charge and care.

Aaron wasn't like the rest of the men he had been intimate with in the past. Aaron was different. He was more. The rest had been nothing but a harmless diversion, a mere bump in the road before correcting his course and heading home to Chrissie. Aaron was so much more. Aaron was under his skin and a permanent fixture in his mind. Realisation was only just dawning on Robert that Aaron Dingle may very well be claiming his heart too.

......................................

Five days. Five excruciatingly long days since Robert had kissed him. Since he had kissed Robert back with all the pent up ardour that raced inside his veins for the blonde man. The attraction had been there from the moment he laid eyes on him. Instantly swept up by the charm, the classically handsome look, the perfectly styled hair, the gorgeous smile and the lean yet sturdy body.

Once he and Robert established a fragile and tentative connection Aaron had fought tooth and nail against the growing appeal of Robert Sugden. It had been futile as the intensity of it grew exponentially when Robert stuck up for him against the Governor of all people. Then to top that he managed to get Jason out of his orbit too. Aaron had given himself a lecture about falling for a straight guy, but then he questioned the situation when he was knocked off kilter during the riot. He swore they shared a moment of some kind right before they were rescued and forced apart. It played on his mind, but he talked himself out of it and believed he must've been mistaken and read it completely wrong. Not only was he reading the wrong page he was reading the wrong book! And as he reminded himself again Robert had arrived and took his breath away with the greatest kiss of his life.

The attraction wasn't one sided. There was a spark between. Something magnetic that drew them toward one another. Aaron was well aware that they would be playing a dangerous game; Robert was engaged with his impending nuptials looming large. Plus the biggest barrier of them all being Robert was a prison officer and Aaron an inmate. If discovered Robert's career would be over in a flash, his relationship blown to smithereens and as for Aaron his life was already hanging by a thread and if his fellow incarcerated males found out that thread would be cut and he would plummet to his death. There would be no way out. Screwing a screw would break a cardinal rule. It was drummed into all prisoners; its them vs us.

Despite all those potentially life altering and life ending risks Aaron was itching for more of Robert's touch. The morning after the kiss he had been anxious to see Robert, but the man never appeared. The day after was the same story. Eventually he managed to gather information that Officer Sugden was on a last minute week off. That sent Aaron's concern over Robert's speedy exit into overdrive. He wanted answers. An explanation. He needed to know how Robert felt.

Being left hanging was a torture that he couldn't endure. As the days rushed by and no sign of Robert returning a plan formulated and before he could talk himself out of it Aaron set it in motion. A request to see the Governor to the nearest screw on his landing was issued with a feigned interest in changing his job. It was a lie that he knew wouldn't raise any suspicions. Inmates would frequently get sick and tired of cleaning and ask to move to an agricultural job or vice versa. Or in Aaron's case he would be 'moving' from the manufacturing job, which consisted of repairing computers and other appliances, to the laundry service. He had no intention of making that change whatsoever as he loathed doing the laundry when he was a free man, all that he wished for with his ruse was time and opportunity. That was all he needed.

Thankfully the wait too see the Governor was unusually short, normally you'd be waiting at least 24 hours, and as Aaron, along with his escorting officer, neared the office he put his best game face on. He was beckoned in and to take a seat as Lawrence looked at him with an air of revulsion. It was a look he was used to, yet it never stopped aggravating him. A flicker of Robert came to mind. He wasn't like the rest of the screws in HMP Hotten, he had never looked at him in that manner and Aaron found himself biting at the inside of his cheek to keep a smile at bay.

''Make it quick, Dingle, I'm a busy man,'' Lawrence said with an exasperated sigh as he barely paid him any attention choosing instead to type away on his laptop.

''All I want is a job change form, sir,'' Aaron replied seeing no point in prolonging the conversation. Any extended conversing could result in Lawrence seeing through the charade.

Lawrence chortled and shook his head with well practiced condescension. He had spent decades looking down his nose at people and Aaron suspected it was so ingrained in him that he didn't even realise he was doing in nowadays. ''Why on earth should I grant you a change in job after you were caught with a hefty supply of drugs in your possession?''

''I get that, sir, but I haven't had anything to do with drugs since. I've been piss tested every fortnight and not failed once. I've never asked for anything the whole time I've been here and...''

Lawrence halted him with a hand in the air and a roll of his eyes. The arrogance of the man was unbelievable and Aaron could see crystal clear why Robert loathed him so deeply. Aaron felt the anger begin to boil, however he suspected it was more on Robert's behalf than his own. The blonde man was a permanent fixture at the forefront of his mind.

''Save the speech, Dingle. I couldn't care less. I haven't the forms here, but bear with me and I'll go get them.''

Aaron could see the irritation and enjoyed being the one to cause it. A little retribution was deserved. The old man glared at him as he rounded his desk and left the gargantuan office. Aaron paused, straining to hear any movement from the other side of the oak door. He then rushed and pressed himself up against it to ensure the Governor had disappeared down the corridor. Once satisfied that enough distance had been put between them he instantly sought out what he orchestrated this whole plan for. He rifled through paperwork and files on top of the ludicrously large desk that Governor White had situated in his office but came up empty. He clicked on the track pad of the laptop, the screen illuminating yet unhelpful as access would only be granted with a password. Aaron descended into the drawers of the desk, far too aware of time slipping away and finally found what he was looking for. He snatched it and flicked through page after page until the words jumped out at him. With pen and paper to hand he scribbled down the information, folded the note haphazardly and shoved it into his back pocket.

Suddenly Lawrence's dulcet tones reached his ears. Time was running out. Aaron quickly returned the drawer and the desk to it's original state, or as close to it as he recalled, hoping that no items would be out of place and that he wouldn't pique the Governor's interest. Just as he slumped back into his seat the door swung open and Lawrence produced the paperwork needed for his faux change in job.

Aaron expressed false gratitude and made a hasty retreat back to his cell. Once there he pushed the cell door closed and immediately binned the form that Lawrence believed he was desperate for and instead produced the information he had really wanted all along.

Robert Sugden  
30 Abbey Drive, Hotten  
Yorkshire  
Tel: 01423 200550

......................................

''I've got it!'' Chrissie yelled as she made for the ringing phone. ''Hello?'' She answered, but received no reply. She asked if anyone was there before the caller abruptly hung up. She placed the handset back and returned to kitchen only for it to ring again. Chrissie was greeted with more silence. The caller not uttering a word before hanging up once more. Filled to the brim with irritation she slammed the appliance down and returned to the kitchen where Robert had now joined her.

''Who was it?'' Robert questioned, but before she could answer the telephone rang once again. She rolled her eyes and refused to answer this time urging Robert to answer the call instead.

''Hello?'' Robert heard a sharp intake of breath. ''Hello? Who is this?'' He could hear muffled noises in the background, an echo of sound that sounded familiar to his ear, but he couldn't quite place it.

''Is it someone not speaking again? They've already rung twice and hung up!'' An agitated Chrissie explained with her hands on her hips and shaking her head disgruntled. Her voice turned awfully shrill when angered and Robert hated it with a passion, so made a quick show to try and quell it.

''Right whoever this is stop calling! If you call here again we'll get the police involved!'' Robert barked down the phone playing the aggrieved fiancé masterfully. He swore he heard a whispered sorry before the caller abruptly cut off. His heart jumped into his throat as the pieces fell into place and he uncovered the callers identity.

''Have they gone?''

''Yeah, they hung up,'' Robert replied as he stood dumbfounded with the phone clutched tightly in his fist. His mind was racing. Why would Aaron call his home? Was he trying to get in touch with him? Was his intention to tell Chrissie about their kiss? Panic and bile took over his body. His conscious floated free as Chrissie spoke, taking hold of his hand and guiding him. As they reached the top of the stairs reality streamed back in. His feet planted heavy on the plush carpet anchoring him to the spot.

''What are you doing?'' Chrissie asked as she tried tugging him forward. ''Come on, I promise I'll make it worth it.''

Chrissie kissed him and it felt wrong. So wrong. Everything was wrong. The nails raking through his hair, the strong perfume in his nostrils, the malleable body under his finger tips it wasn't right. It wasn't what he craved. What he desired.

His belt was unbuckled and his demons swarmed him. He willed both his body and mind to comply. This is what he should want! Chrissie's palm ran down his torso and then under the waistband of his boxers. The panic grew as she would discover his lack of arousal. It would raise questions from her, questions that he couldn't face. He had the answers. He knew them all to well as they were crystal clear, but facing up to them was another matter. Fear and self loathing would inevitably come with them.

Robert pulled away from her and retreated. He tried and failed to ignore the hurt and confused look on his fiancée's face as he escaped to the bathroom locking the door behind him. He splashed cold water on his face in a bid to cease from spiralling out of control. Robert stared at his reflection in the mirror, the image staring back at him looked lost and scared. However he knew now. The path he wanted to journey down was abundantly clear. He knew he hadn't just been deceiving Chrissie for months, he had also been deceiving himself.

...................................

Robert was full of nervous energy. His legs bounced in anxiety throughout the morning briefing on his first day back to work. He navigated his way round small talk from his colleagues intent on rushing his way to E wing. His strides were long and fast as he made a beeline for E3. He fumbled with the keys as he stood in front of the cell door, but finally as he came face to face with Aaron the hysteria settled and a serenity engulfed him.

Returning to where he dropped the facade and removed the war paint he had lived in for most his life felt like a homecoming. A haven. Aaron was over by the tiny window and met his gaze instantly. No longer chained by his demons and with utter clarity Robert pushed Aaron up against the wall and reclaimed his lips with a desperate need. He sunk into Aaron's body as the man drew him closer and the slide of Aaron's tongue against his bottom lip forced an aroused moan to escape him. He parted his lips and their tongues met and his entire body tingled from head to toe. It felt good. More importantly it felt so right. He was exactly where he was supposed to be.

''Are you okay?'' Aaron whispered against Robert's lips and the officer looked at him with confusion, ''I was worried when you ran off that night.''

Robert smiled faintly. Aaron actually cared. He had been worried about him. It had been a long time since anyone had held that emotion for him, not since his mum was alive and he was a young boy with the world at his feet.

''I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean...'' Robert shook his head suddenly feeling rather inarticulate. For so long he had been playing a role, now he could just be himself, fully and completely. ''I panicked I guess.''

''Do you regret it?''

Robert could see the disappointment in bright blue eyes and he was full of regret for leaving Aaron in the dark for so long. ''If I regretted it I wouldn't be here now, would I?'' Robert grinned pecking Aaron on the lips. He had an inkling he would find it hard to resist keeping his hands and lips off Aaron in the future. ''I just needed to get my head straight and think everything through.''

Aaron nodded in understanding. He had been there before, had walked in those shoes and knew how difficult it could be. ''And what did you figure out?''

Robert huffed out a wry laugh. ''I'm not sure in all honesty. All I know is what I felt from that kiss was the best thing I've felt in years.''

Aaron could feel the blush rise on his cheeks and diverted his eyes to the wall instead of staring back into Robert's enchanting gaze. ''I need to admit something. It was me that rang your house the other night.''

''I thought it was.''

''I'm sorry.'' Aaron had been kicking himself for that decision. Invading Robert's privacy was a step too far and he imagined many scenarios of Robert's reaction when he confessed and none of them were Robert smiling, but that's what he got. Too say he was relieved was an understatement.

''Don't be sorry, just next time...' Robert paused withdrawing his hands from Aaron to rifle through his pockets and produce a bit of scrap paper, ''Call this instead; it's my mobile number.''

''Yeah?'' Aaron chuckled in disbelief. He could ring Robert. Hear his voice when he needed that comfort. To feel safe just by hearing him speak. Because that's what Robert did for him. That and so much more.

Robert nodded in confirmation then kissed Aaron deeply again. Whilst clutching onto Aaron's hips, his body sang with desire as all Aaron's weight pressed up against him. Aaron's beard scratched roughly, but sent waves of tingles all over his skin. Aaron's soft and delicate lips were heaven against his own. He was surrounded by Aaron.

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.

Once Robert had finally broken and given in to temptation he knew there was no coming back. He wanted Aaron. Aaron wanted him. Robert was no fool, he was playing with fire, but he would risk getting burned to have Aaron in his world.

.................................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! More kissing!!! Robert accepting his attraction to Aaron <3
> 
> Thank you for reading and if you wish you can follow me on twitter @brokenspell77


	10. The Path is Chosen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the bigger than usual gap in updating. Life has been...well crappy and hectic to put it mildly. Plus this chapter turned out to be a real challenge as a lot goes on...even if you don't quite realise it yet ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

 

  
Robert tugged Aaron closer by the maroon jumper he wore and kissed him hungrily. It had become a tradition over the last week since their affair began in earnest that at the start of every shift Robert would go to see Aaron in his cell. Today he arrived later than normal due to him covering night shifts for a week and by consequence he didn't start until 6pm. The difference in time hadn't stopped Aaron from being the first thing on his mind and his first intended destination the moment he walked through the gates of HMP Hotten.

Truth be told Aaron had been on Robert's mind non-stop. Even at times when he should be completely immersed in his home life with Chrissie as they discussed their upcoming nuptials. But Aaron lurked. A pocket of happiness within the raging maelstrom of Robert's mind.

The wedding had degenerated into a source of severe anxiety and panic for him. The more days he let pass the more Robert's feelings were affirmed. The life he believed he coveted with Chrissie was no longer an option. It was no longer desired. His life revolved around the man in his arms and even the demonstrable danger of their relationship wouldn't and couldn't sway him.

''Been waiting for you all day,'' Aaron whispered against his lips with that adorable smile that made Robert's heart swell in his chest. Aaron looked down at their feet with a shy blush on his cheeks. ''I missed you.''

Robert tilted his head back up by his chin and pecked him on the lips. ''I missed you too, but seeing as I'm on the overnight shift I should be able to sneak away for a while and spend some time with you.''

''Yeah?'' Aaron still had to pinch himself that Robert had taken an interest in him. That the man was willing to risk his career to spend mere hours cooped up in his cell just so they could be together. The emotion blooming in his heart he had never felt before. Not like this. His feelings for Robert were out of control and all consuming.

''If you can stay awake that late then yeah,'' Robert asserted as he ran his palms up and down the broad expanse of Aaron's back, ''I'll be here.''

''I can do that,'' Aaron's eyes twinkled and he chewed nervously at his bottom lip before taking the lead and stealing Robert's breath away with another passionate lip lock.

''I'm worth waiting for then?'' Robert grinned smugly. Aaron shoved him playfully, but Robert held on and dragged Aaron with the force he had created, planted a final kiss on his lips and swore he'd be back later.

A promise that there was no chance he would break.

.........................

Robert had rushed through his reports and general duties for the day in an effort to gain more time with Aaron. He knew they would have to be incredibly careful and he was already plotting multiple excuses in case they got rumbled. Thinking ahead was an attribute he harnessed and exploited well. By the time anyone generally caught up to where he was he'd already be another 3 steps ahead.

The clock had just ticked over to 9pm as Robert looked down at his expensive Rolex watch that Chrissie had bought him for his birthday. A pang of guilt raidated from within, but he squashed it down and proceeded on barely paying attention to his surroundings as he almost bumped into another officer along with a prisoner from E wing. Hale was an inmate that never caused trouble and Robert knew he was a friendly with Aaron which made the elderly man a good guy in his book. He briefly wondered why Hale was away from the wing and in this area of the prison so late at night, but brushed it aside far too focused on his own agenda.

Earlier in his graveyard shift during Fenwick's handover with the night staff the principal officer mentioned Lawrence's capricious nature that day, blaming it the extensive workload. Robert had already heard plenty of the old mans whinging over dinner at the weekend about how much of a burden E-wing had become without a wing governor. Sympathy was always in short supply from Robert when it came to his soon to be father-in-law.

Despite the knowledge that Lawrence had a lot on his plate he still expected to find his office in darkness and the Governor long gone. However he eagerly knocked on the office door and swiftly entered without waiting to see him typing away with his glasses perched on the end of his nose.

''I'm busy,'' Lawrence snapped which most of the officers would simply interpret his moody response as being stressed, but Robert knew all too well he'd get that icy greeting no matter the circumstance. It wasn't the first and he'd bet it wouldn't be the last either.

''So I gather. I've came here to help,'' Robert replied obliquely.

''How on earth could you help me?'' Lawrence guffawed removing his glasses and leaning back in the large desk chair with a smirk and asking in a way which felt like a challenge.

''You've been running E wing for weeks now, as well as still being the Governor and I wanted to offer my servies to take over E wing. At least in the interim.''

A look of shock and then amusement crossed Lawrence's face before he broke out into a haughty laugh. ''You? You've barely been in corrections long enough to have a cup of coffee! Don't be so ridiculous!''

''I think I've got a pretty good grasp on what the job entails Lawrence, it's not exactly rocket science.'' Robert replied with patented arrogance that he knew would rile the old man up. Not eactly the best tactic he thought as he reprimanded himself. But old habits die hard. ''And I'm sure anything I'm unsure of I could ask the esteemed Governor.''

Lawrence glowered before shaking his head. ''It's out of the question! It will look like favourtism promoting my soon to be son-in-law. Besides Fenwick would be first in line over you.''

''True, but you and I both know Fenwick has already turned you down,'' Robert smirked as he extinguished Lawrence's argument. Fenwick had told him of that little nugget of information in their conversation earlier that night and was the propelling factor that pushed Robert to throw his name in the hat. He was well aware he lacked experience, but he had already rose the ranks in his fellow PO's mind. In the few months he had been on E wing the officers seemed to gravitate toward him for guidance, advice and assistance more than the well seasoned officers on the wing. It practically appeared as if he was second in command behind Fenwick. ''Come on Lawrence, I'm the only option.''

''Well if you are the only option then God help us,'' Lawrence spat bitterly, ''The answer is no! Now turn around and get out of my office. Discussion closed!''

Anger swirled inside of him at not being able to get one over on the old codger, but Robert had every intention of regrouping and engaging in another chess match where he would be the victor and coronated the new E Wing Governor. And when Robert Sugden put his mind to something it would take a monumental effort to stop him.

.....................................

Aaron couldn't quell the warmth radiating from his chest as he snuggled in closer to the heat from Robert's body. It was gone midnight when he heard the key turn in the lock and Robert appeared in his cell. They had found their way to his bed and were led in each others embrace with Aaron's head tucked into Robert's neck as Robert's hand ran up and the length of his spine.

Comfort had become a forgeign feeling to Aaron. Being in prison for over 4 years he'd found it unsurprisingly in short supply. Not that he was that familiar with it in the first place. His mother had been absent in his life more than present, and the most comfort he'd ever received had been from his pseudo father Paddy. That too had evaporated within months of his incarceration. So he couldn't help himself from grasping tighter to Robert and wishing for time to stand still just so he could feel safe and cared for just a little while longer.

Initally Aaron had considered that his growing attachment to the officer stemmed from Robert actually showing interest in him and helping him, but he was deluding himself. It was a last ditch effort in an attempt to talk himself out of falling for the unattainable. Falling for the engaged, straight, prison officer, Aaron had hit the hatrick when it came to the unattainable. Or at least he believed that at the time. Aaron had noticed Robert the first time he laid eyes on him. The blonde styled hair, the lightly muscled physique, the charming smile. Then he noticed the finer details; the way he walked, the freckles, his green eyes. His attraction was undeniable and it evolved into more than that in a hurry.

A cloud loomed, at times far off in the distance and others it hung heavy, threatening and grey overhead and that was Chrissie. Robert was involved. He was engaged with his wedding day approaching fast. Embarking on an affair would have never entered Aaron's mind, but then along came Robert and changed his world. He wanted Robert all to himself. He didn't want to let go of him. He didn't want Robert to marry Chrissie. He wanted to tell Robert, to beg him to call it off, but he had no right. It was too soon. Too needy. They hadn't even clasified what their relationship was.

''I've been meaning to ask you something for a while.''

Aaron's bustling and frantic brooding came to a sudden stop as Robert's soft voice brought him back to the moment. A moment he told himself he should savour not waste over details beyond his control. ''What's that?''

''About your scars,'' Robert treaded cautiously and had agonised for weeks on whether or not to broach the subject, ''I wondered if you wanted to talk to someone. A lot of inmates confide in the prison vicar. From all accounts she sounds like a nice woman.''

Aaron sat up, pulled his knees to his chest and cocooned himself within his arms. Anxiety took hold whenever anyone delved too deep. He was constantly afraid of letting secrets slip. Secrets he longed to forget about, but never could. No matter how hard he tried.

Robert noted Aaron clamming up. ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push. I guess I just worry.'' The last thing Robert wanted was Aaron's barriers to rise up and shut him out all over again. ''Will you at least think about it? Ya never know it might help.''

Aaron could see the concern in Robert's eyes. That frequent warmth in his chest increased and he was grateful for Robert even caring. There was almost a pleading within the green pools and Aaron found himself nodding that he'd at least consider talking to the prison vicar.

Robert kissed his temple and tugged Aaron gently back into his arms dropping the subject. Aaron burrowed into his chest and listened to the drumming of Robert's heartbeat. Aaron had his own lingering question to ask, but had hung fire unsure of whether to push Robert for the answer. The words came tumbling free before his brain could mute them. ''Have you been with any other blokes?''

''Yeah. Not many. Around three back when I lived in London. Four if you count the farmhand. They were all one night stands, nothing more.'' Truth be told Robert had never desired more. Before it always felt like an itch that simply needed to be scratched, but Aaron was different. Aaron left him wanting and needing more. A passing attraction had become so much more.

''Farmhand?''

''There was this lad that worked on the farm. He was the first guy I ever kissed. Nothing more happened. He erm...he stopped working at the farm soon after.'' Robert explained, yet still trying to hide the full story of his first dalliance with the young lad. It was too painful. Carried too much agony. ''I was fifteen and I told myself I was just confused. I made myself believe it for years until I finally left Beckindale and my family behind.''

''Are you still confused now?'' Aaron could hear Robert's heart thundering, could feel the tense muscles on his frame and he instinctively knew whatever Robert would share with him would be for the first time ever. He recognised the signs. He remembered how he felt that night when he told Paddy all those years back that he was gay.

''No.'' Robert answered with well practiced ease. It was what he had trained his brain to do for so long now, it was a reflex, but he was changing. Aaron had changed him. ''I'm not confused. I like both, but I've never admitted it to anyone,'' Robert glanced fleetingly at Aaron, ''until now.''

''Why not?'' It dawned on Aaron that Robert never had his own Paddy. That one person he trusted to come out too. All his life Robert had hidden away a part of himself and it broke Aaron's heart seeing the anguish and the tears in Robert's eyes. ''Hey, I'm sorry. Forget I asked.''

Robert leant into Aaron's touch as he thumbed over his cheek and jaw. Bravery was never a facet of his personality, or at least not one people saw in him. He was branded a coward instead even by the people who should have defended him and stood shoulder to shoulder with him. But Aaron made him feel brave. Gave him the courage. ''My dad he saw me kiss the boy on the farm. We would've gone further, but he kicked the lad out, fired him and then he leathered me. He didn't want a son like me.''

Robert turned his head trying to shield his emotions and the tears spilling over, but Aaron wouldn't let him. He kissed him and held him tight. ''You're amazing, Robert. Don't ever think different.''

Robert nuzzled into Aaron's neck, his trembling breath and quivering lip slowly subsiding as he felt the protective wave of Aaron all around him. He hadn't felt that since his mother was alive. He knew without a shadow of doubt what step he had to take. For now though he was happy to stay in the bubble with Aaron, with their bodies pressed up against one another from head to toe, for a little while longer.

...................................

A car revving it's engine as it blasted past him brought Robert back from his daze. He had been sat in his car outside his home for nearly half an hour lost in an amalgamation of emotions. The bitter winter morning had frosted up his windscreen as the engine had sat idle too long and his breath billowed out in clouds in front of his face. The tips of his fingers stung from the cold as he removed them from where they had clutched onto the steering wheel.

Robert knew what he had to do. The decision had been made. He knew which path he wanted to take. He unlocked the front door, the heat enveloped him as he stepped inside. It felt stifling as his demons rushed toward him, gripping and grabbing, snarling and sneering in his ears in a desperate attempt to drag him back. Familiar words echoed around him in his fathers voice. He stumbled on as his demons clambered onto his back and tore into his flesh. He was about to let it all slip through his fingers like grains of sand. All that he had convinced himself he wanted and needed he was about to shun and walk away from.

''Hello, darling,'' Chrissie greeted him as she drank her morning caffeine hit of coffee. ''How was the night shift.'' Silence stretched out and Robert could see the moment Chrissie realised something was wrong. ''Robert, are you okay? Is it Dad?''

The knot in his stomach pulled tighter, the words getting lodged in his throat. He had to do this, he couldn't keep living a lie, hiding from who he was and what he wanted. Images of Aaron flooded him and he found the resolve he required. ''I don't wanna marry you.'' The words tumbled free without any finesse and the world stopped turning and froze. Every breath seemed as loud as a shotgun. Every tick of the kitchen clock was as noisy as a detonated bomb.

Chrissie shook her head unable to process the shocking revelation. A smile rising as she believed it to be an ill timed joke, but gauging Robert's rigid posture and the look on his face she knew he meant every word. ''What the hell, Robert?''

''I'm sorry...''

Chrissie felt blindsided. How could she go from organising their wedding to breaking up all within a blink of an eye? Their relationship had been strained in recent months, a definite lapse in communication, but she put it down to wedding drama and nerves. She had been told countless times by her girlfriends that tensions escalated as the big day drew closer, but not for a second did she believe Robert would break up with her. ''Why?''

''I'm sorry, but this isn't what I want,'' Robert stuttered vanquishing one demon after another with every word and step, ''not anymore.''

''Is there another woman?'' Chrissie asked needing to make sense of the situation. It was the only possible answer. They were happy. They were engaged. Their wedding day was right round the corner.

''No,'' Robert fired back instantly. There wasn't another woman, but there was Aaron. The life he had strived so long for crumbled around him, but he had found something, someone, that meant everything to him. No longer would he be ruled by his dmeons and the lingering shadow of his father. He had listened to his heart, and his heart belonged to Aaron. Only Aaron. Always Aaron.

''You're lying! Why else would you leave me!'' Chrissie screeched as she lunged at him, pounding fists against his chest. ''Tell me the truth, Robert! Why? Why are you doing this?!''

'I just don't want this. We're over.'' The courage he had found that morning couldn't stretch as far as telling Chrissie the complete truth in that he had fallen for another man. That he was bisexual. He wasn't sure he had fully come to terms with his sexuality himself yet, but he knew the choice he had made that freezing cold morning was the right one.

''Get out!'' Chrissie roared as anger collided with the devastation. Black rivers streamed down her face, her tears causing her mascara to run as she shoved Robert again. ''Go! Get out!''

Robert turned and walked away feeling numb and like his legs were about to give way. His trembling hands fumbled with his car keys and he jolted as he heard the door to the house slam shut behind him. He let out a trembling breath as his whole body shook. A cascade of emotions tumbled down on him and as he started the engine tears slipped from the corner of his eyes.

He believed he might feel regret at throwing it all away. Or some sadness at losing Chrissie, but all he felt was relief. The tears sprung from a semblance of self acceptance. For too long he had hidden who he really was and now he was going to be himself. He may only take small steps, and it might take a while to get to the planned destination, but Robert felt a giant weight had been removed from his shoulders and whilst he lamented breaking Chrissie's heart it was overtaken by how much he had fallen for Aaron.

He had chosen his path. He had chosen the one he truly loved. He had chosen Aaron.

...................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES ROBERT! He has officially split with Chrissie and revealed to Aaron about his sexuality and Jack! I'm proud of Robert Jacob Sugden!!! But what does that mean for his future? He and Aaron continue to fall more for each other and their bond becomes tighter, but can it last within the confines of HMP Hotten?
> 
> I hope this chapter was OK, as I said before it ended up being harder than I thought to write. Major block happened. I'm so anxious about this chapter because of it...
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> If you like you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	11. Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter. What will happen now that Robert has officially chosen Aaron?

 

 

Robert woke startled, his head launching off the plump pillow as the piercing beeping of the alarm clock chased him from his slumber. He practically swatted at his phone until he managed to silence it and sat up against the headboard bracing himself for another day. That mornings events rushed back to his consciousness and believing he'd harbour some semblance of regret at throwing away what he had strived for and the life he knew would fulfill his fathers expectations was still absent. Instead he felt excitement for his future, for what it contained, who it contained. He was eager to see Aaron and to tell him he had made his choice. Although really there was no choice to be made. Robert had known for a long time with whom his heart really belonged to.

After breaking up with Chrissie and leaving the sumptuous house with nothing but his car and the clothes on his back Robert had checked himself into the best hotel in Hotten for what he considered would be a long stay. He initially paid out for a fortnight, but he was under no illusion that it very well could be his accommodation for months. The housing market was reasonable, but he was well aware that he no longer had Chrissie's wealth to fall back. During his time back in Hotten he hadn't spotted many homes up for sale either, and after settling in to his room he had perused some estate agent websites which bore little fruit. It was a concern, but one that he could afford to put at the back of his mind for the time being.

The most pressing however was inevitable return to the lions den. He would have to revisit Chrissie in what would've been their marital home to retrieve all of his clothes and belongings. The house was littered with books, DVD's, games and consoles, photo albums of his that he was impatient to retrieve. Those objects held significance. They symbolised the final vestige of his false life with Chrissie and once they were back in his possession all ties would be cut and he could be himself. He could be the Robert Jacob Sugden he always wanted to be. Unashamed. Proud. And happy.

For now those ties had to remain, albeit frayed and hanging by a thread as work beckoned. Luckily he had spare uniform in his locker and he could get away with wearing the same boxers and socks two days running just this once. With the intention of heading to the bathroom for a refreshing shower Robert glanced at the empty side of the king size bed, flashes of dreams of waking up with Aaron cuddled in close and warm. With a smile Robert padded over the thick, plush cream carpet, finding it soft and inviting underfoot, and entered the bathroom.

After going through the usual routine when first waking up Robert hopped into the walk in shower. The jets pulsed hard and soothed his body as water cascaded over his body. Steam rose and swirled around him as he freshened up. Soon his mind conjured Aaron and he got lost in the memories of Aaron's lips on his, the scratch of his beard, the beautiful blue eyes and strong hands. A grunt ripped free as his dick thickened begging for release and Robert couldn't withstand the heat coiling inside. He fisted his erection and melted back into the cool tiled wall. He gnawed at his bottom lip, throwing his head back with the water rushing down upon his hair and face. His dick throbbed and his muscles tensed as he reached his crescendo moaning Aaron's name as he climaxed.

...............................

With a hard rasping knock signalling his appearance Robert peered into the office to see Harriet Finch, the prison vicar, sat at her desk. The brunette beckoned him inside with a friendly smile. They exchanged formal introductions and pleasantries as they hadn't previously met. Robert had seen her in some of the larger meetings Lawrence had held, but until now hadn't found the time or had the inclination to chat. Once the small talk had dried up Harriet attempted to ascertain the reason as to what had brought Robert to her little corner of HMP Hotten.

''I'm here about an inmate actually. I'm his personal officer and I've got to know him a little,'' Robert attempted to downplay his association with Aaron, cautious to not slip up and reveal the nature of their relationship, ''I just think he would benefit from talking to you.''

''Okay.'' Harriet smiled kindly and flipped her notepad to a clean page. ''Has he shown any interest in coming to see me himself?''

''I've mentioned it a couple of times and the last time he seemed more open to the idea.'' Robert knew Aaron struggled to bear his soul and talk about his former life, but Robert hoped it would help. Throughout their burgeoning romance he still hadn't lost that initial drive to want to help Aaron in his battle. Robert wasn't even certain of the opponent, but he would be beside Aaron no matter what. ''He is hesitant though.''

''Right, well I can't force him to talk to me. Counselling only works if the person is willing and wanting to get something from it.'' Harriet had been worked in prisons for over 5 years, she had seen the worst of the worse. Criminals that would send shivers down your spine and their tales of their crimes that would haunt your dreams. That experience also led her to smell a bullshitter in an instant too. A large portion of inmates that seemed keen to have her counsel were actually only interested in skipping work detail and wasting time. But through all that it never dented her passion in trying to help others. ''You seem concerned for him, can I ask why?''

Momentarily Robert panicked thinking he had displayed too much interest and that Harriet could see the affection he held for Aaron written all over his face. ''I erm...I saw he had some scars.''

''Self inflicted?''

''I believe so, yes.'' Robert had never outright asked Aaron if he self harmed, despite suspecting that to be the truth. For months they had been in this awkward limbo with Robert torn in two directions, he felt he couldn't and that he had no right to pry, but now his sole focus was Aaron and he wanted to support him.

''I see.'' Harriet scribbled every piece of information down that Robert gave so she could keep track and remind herself further down the track. ''Well I think it's a positive sign that he feels safe enough to open up to you, but I also understand your concern. What's his name?''

''Dingle. Aaron Dingle.'' Robert answered and with just saying his name brought forth a smile that he had to bite his bottom lip to keep at bay. ''He's on E-wing.''

''Well I'll definitely go and see him, but as I said without Aaron's cooperation he won't receive the benefit.'' Harriet warned, knowing all to well that some sessions ended before they had even had a chance to begin.

''Thanks a lot, Harriet.'' Robert nodded appreciatively. He hoped that if Aaron agreed to sessions with the prison vicar that the heavy weight Aaron seemed to carry day in and day out would be off loaded.

''Officer Sugden?''

''Call me, Robert.''

''Robert, would you be able to provide me with Aaron's prison record?''

''Yeah, no problem. I'll try and get it to you by the end of the day.''

''Sounds like this inmate is lucky to have you.'' Harriet let out a long suffering sigh, ''All too often the PO's seem put out and heartless when it comes to getting the inmates help.''

''Well I'm not like that.'' Robert pondered if it wasn't Aaron would he still be fighting this hard to get an inmate support. He liked to think he would, but even if some of his personal demons had been silenced they were still lingered. Distant echoes of being called selfish and only caring for his own interests reverberated around him. That was Robert Sugden, but a Robert Sugden he wanted to leave in the past. He wanted to be a better man. Aaron made him feel like that was possible. ''I've been told though once I've been in the job for a couple of years I'll be jaded like all the rest.''

''Well I hope not. The prison service needs more people like you.'' Robert's usual and well practiced confident demeanor had been eroded lately as he confronted his issues head on and he felt undeserving of Harriet's compliment. ''Just out of interest what was Aaron convicted of?''

''Murder.''

''Wow! Alright I wasn't expecting that, but I'm always happy to help. Or attempt to at the very least.''

''Thanks again.'' Robert gave her a genuine smile hoping that proffered help would come to be accepted and Aaron would reap the rewards.

.....................................

Robert endeavoured to be quiet. Every step faint. Every move careful and considered. He managed to slide into Aaron's cell without detection and his heart radiated warmth throughout his chest as he saw Aaron curled up fast asleep on his bunk. Aaron looked so peaceful. Content. Younger. Robert hated the fact that when he was awake all that would fade away. Aaron would put his armour back on, affix the shield and wear his war paint the second his cell door was unlocked. Robert was struck with the need to free Aaron from the cell. And from HMP Hotten.

''Robert?''

A hoarse whisper came from the bed and Robert perched on the edge. ''Hey, it's me. Sorry, did I wake you?''

''It's okay. What time is it?'' Aaron sat up and scrubbed at his tired eyes.

Robert told him it was gone 4am and apologised for how late his visit was. His shift had unforeseen circumstances that monopolised his time and delayed him. Plus he found himself picking up the day shifts slack and before he knew it the night was nearly over. He felt so guilty leaving Aaron waiting, but he couldn't escape from his fellow officers.

Robert shuffled onto the bed next to Aaron and claimed his lips sighing contentedly at finally feeling Aaron warm and solid beside him. Save for a very rushed visit when he first arrived for his shift Robert had been starved of Aaron for far too long. ''One kiss all day is definitely not enough.''

Aaron grinned bashfully and shook his head at the blondes charm. ''Well you've had two now.''

Robert leaned forward and kissed him for a third, he held Aaron close and ran his hands up and down his biceps. ''How was your day?''

''Same old shit, different day.'' The regimental schedule of prison life grew tiresome rapidly. And being 4 years into his sentence it was now torture most days. ''Got a lot better now though.''

Robert held Aaron's gaze that familiar feeling blooming bright. He never wanted to lose that feeling after finally finding it after so much time on earth. ''Well hopefully what I'm about to say next won't ruin it.'' Robert was trepidatious, nervous of the reaction, but forged on. ''I talked to Harriet, the prison vicar, about you. I didn't go into too much detail, but she said she'll come and see you. No pressure. No expectation.''

At the notion of letting someone inside his mind, digging through his memories and sifting through the darkness made Aaron want to shrink back and hide. Too scared to relive the hell. Too frightened that he would reveal too much. However Robert's presence grounded him. Kept him calmer. Reassured him and made him believe he could do it.

''Are you mad at me?'' Robert asked scared of pushing Aaron away by lumping too much pressure on his shoulders.

''No,'' Aaron rubbed a thumb over Robert's cheek and shook his head fervently. ''Not at all, I swear. Just...nervous, I guess.''

''That's understandable, but as I said no expectations. She'll just see how you are, ask a few questions and leave the ball in your court.'' Robert's radio crackled. A request for him to return to the hospital wing. With a deep aggravated whine Robert kissed Aaron's forehead and regretfully made a move to leave. ''I've gotta go.''

''Please don't marry her!'' Aaron's word rushed from him, unable to contain them. His heart ruled his head. Aaron felt he had no place to make such a demand. He understood what it was between them. Knew their limitations. But it didn't stop him reiterating his desire. ''Don't marry Chrissie!''

Robert smiled. An amused grin as it dawned on him that he hadn't even had the chance to update Aaron on the massive life decision he had made. He wasn't trying to hide it he just simply forgot that anyone else ever existed. For him Aaron was all that mattered. In this cell it was always just him and Aaron. ''I'm not.'' Robert walked back to Aaron and slipped his hands onto his waist. ''I broke up with her yesterday morning after my shift.''

''You split up? W-w-why?'' Aaron stuttered and heart thundering. Everything he wished for appeared to be in reach, grazing his finger tips and all he had to do was take that final step.

''Why do you think?'' Robert rested his forehead against Aaron's and breathed in, taking the time to really cherish the moment before he whispered reverently, ''I don't want Chrissie. I want you, Aaron. Just you. I want you to be mine.''

Every part of Aaron lit up and his body tingled from head to toe as Robert pulled him tightly into his arms. For the first time in years Aaron saw a light in the perennial darkness that was his life. Robert was his beacon and he was happy beyond belief.

The radio crackled with the repeated message and Robert muttered an apology knowing he really had to leave. The last thing either man wanted was for someone to come looking for Officer Sugden. However both wanted to lock the door and stay in their own bubble. Shut the world and all its complications out and bask in their own happy world.

Reluctantly Robert pulled away and slowly opened the cell door, inspecting that the coast was clear for him to getaway.

''Rob?'' Aaron whispered halting his escape. Aaron followed him to the door and gazed at him lovingly. ''I am, you know?''

Robert's brow furrowed not following Aaron's train of thought. ''What?''

''Yours.''

............................................

Robert sunk his key into the brass plated lock fully prepared for the barrage of screaming and shouting from his former fiancee, but the door didn't unlock. He tried it a few more times and still he couldn't get inside the house. It was only then that he noticed trash bags off to the side of the marble steps that led to the front door.

Without opening them he knew his belongings had all been dumped in there. He shook his head with a rueful laugh before tossing the key over his shoulder without care. If Chrissie wanted to be petty then so be it. He snatched up as many bags as possible hauling them all to his car. After numerous trips he made his way back for last boxes and trash bags when the large black double doors swung open. Chrissie looked down on him with a patented air of arrogance. With a clink something landed at his feet. He peered down to see the engagement ring he had bought her. Robert knew she was looking for some sort of reaction, but he refused to give her one. He turned on his heels with his arms full and returned to his vehicle.

''Fitting isn't it? Your whole life in bin bags when you're nothing but trash!'' Chrissie sneered spitefully. ''I can't believe I was so blind to see what a pitiful excuse of a man you really are!''

The tirade of abuse wasn't a surprise and with Jack's shadow still holding on Robert felt he deserved it. He owed her the time to tear him down and tell him he wasn't good enough. Words that stung and that he was far too accustomed to hearing.

His silence appeared to rile her as she spat more bile that Robert desperately tried to block out. He slammed the boot intent on leaving her and that chapter of his life behind. He had a new chapter, a whole new book to start.

''Robert!'' A deep shout rung out and Robert twisted to see Lawrence stood side by side with his darling daughter. ''I thought you'd like to know your services are no longer required.'' With matching devious smiles the White family sent his world crashing down into oblivion. ''It gives me great pleasure to tell you that you're fired!''

Robert's heart sank. Every fibre of his being cried out for Aaron. He couldn't just leave him in there. He couldn't be without him after only just finding him.

''You can't fire me!'' Anger boiled in his veins and he started to stride back to the house, but both White family members retreated and slammed the door in his face. ''Lawrence!''

Robert pounded against the door turning his fists a beaten and bruised red that left them thrumming in agony. He had been out manoeuvred by the conniving White family. His gut twisted and tied into an uncomfortable and nauseating knots. The urge to vomit rose up his throat. His legs verging on buckling.

The only question running through his mind was how he'd break the news to Aaron that they were being forced apart and would be out of each others lives!

............................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOOOOOOO! It can't end like this!
> 
>    
> Thanks a million for the kind words and support for this story. I greatly appreciate it.
> 
> If you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	12. Turning Tables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather quick update(for me at least lol). I didn't want to leave you on that cliffhanger for too long!

 

 

Robert flung the office door closed with force, rattling the wood within its frame and strode with a purpose right up to Lawrence. The Governor lounged back in the chair with an air of superiority and a smug smile full of pleasure at seeing the man he despised reeling and flustered. Robert slammed his hands down hard against mahogany grain shaking the furniture to its foundations. His temper was wild and unchained and honed in on the man sat opposite.

''You can't fire me!'' Robert challenged. All through the previous day he had stewed inside his hotel room, reeling in the aftermath of the bombshell. After the initial shock had subsided Robert commenced on fighting his case by analysing the situation and attempting to concoct plans in an effort to save his job and stay close to Aaron. ''You have no grounds to fire me, Lawrence, and if you do I'll sue for unfair dismissal.''

Lawrence chuckled condescendingly. ''No grounds? Getting caught up in a riot, having to be saved by a criminal and prisoners under your charge being involved in the drug trade. Oh I think I have more than enough ammunition to sack you!''

''Oh come on! I'm not the only officer that has had their inmates done for dealing in here and I can hardly be blamed for a full scale riot. Nice try Lawrence!''

''True. But I can put a very persuasive spin on it to the board of directors,'' Lawrence sniggered, ''Officer Sugden has no control. No authority. Garners no respect.'' Lawrence mimicked a well rehearsed speech that he would produce for the board.

Robert shook his head in disbelief at how low the patriarch of the White family could stoop. He shouldn't be surprised he had witnessed such callousness before. However this was the first time he was truly receiving both barrels. When he was still with Chrissie both men knew he was restrained.

''And I know plenty of people in high places that regard my opinion highly.'' Lawrence continued, ''So if you don't mind I'd rather you leave on your own volition than having to escort you out.''

''I dare you to try.'' Robert threatened. He had been backed into a corner, he had nothing to fire back with and all that he could respond with was idle threats.

''Oh Robert, I never get my hands dirty. I'd have your former colleagues take out the trash instead. Now if you don't mind, I'm busy.''

''Fine, you win! But I'll work until the end of the day. I need to hand over my prisoners and clear my locker.'' Robert attempted to negotiate just needing time to get to Aaron. To let him know the situation and that no matter what he still wanted him. That he would visit as frequently as he could.

''You're only delaying the inevitable, Robert.''

''I'll be gone by the end of the day.'' Robert defeatedly sighed with every ounce of fight inside evaporating quicker than a puddle in a desert.

''Fine as you wish,'' Lawrence acquiesced with a cocky grin. As Robert stepped out the office Lawrence called him back. ''Do make sure to turn in your identification badge, keys and uniform at the gate won't you? Oh and close the door on your way out.''

............................

On his way back to his cell Aaron had a skip in his step, not that he'd admit that to anyone, but ever since Robert had broken up with Chrissie and chose him he had felt lighter than he had in years. Before prison. Before Jackson. Before the darkness surrounded and invaded.

Aaron knew he was falling hard and fast for the officer and he was well aware of the risks of engaging in any type of relationship with a screw. The danger was vast and not just in his world, but Robert's too. But Robert was under his skin. He was in his mind. And delved deep into his heart. Jackson had been Aaron's first love. His first everything. He had been a vital piece of the puzzle of self acceptance all those years back. Although the love he held for Jackson paled in comparison to what he felt for Robert. Months had passed where he tried to deny it, to squash down his feelings, but ever since Robert had kissed him that first time Aaron's world had been spinning and irrevocably turned on its axis. Fighting the attraction was futile and he knew undeniably that he was in love with Robert Sugden.

Aaron turned down a barren corner oblivious to the ambush. He was blindsided and tackled hard into a wall. Before he knew it he was surrounded by the all too familiar faces of Jason's gang members. They pinned his arms to the cracked and peeling walls and his face squeezed roughly in one of their hands.

''Hello, gay boy. You miss us?'' Smith sneered into his face. ''Don't think Jason has forgotten about you.''

''We've got a message from him. He wants you to know when he's off the block you're on borrowed time.'' Edwards chimed in squeezing even harder at Aaron's face.

With a patronising swat around the face the trio left leaving Aaron trembling. Lately Aaron had been so preoccupied with all things Robert that his problems with Jason had become nothing but background noise. Now however that looming peril was screaming shattering through everything else like glass. Jason would always be a thorn in his side and it brought Aaron crashing back down to earth with a hell of a bump.

Trudging back to his cell, dragging his feet along the way the fear inside rescinded slightly at the appearance of Robert who stood at the top of the E-3 landing. Robert jutted his head indicating for Aaron to follow him into his cell. Despite the dark cloud hanging ominously Aaron could still generate a smile for the man that had stolen his heart. Once inside his cell Aaron's smile disintegrated at the distraught look radiating from every pore off of Robert.

''What's happened?''

Struggling to find the words and control his emotions Robert shook his head in a bid to restrain all the anguish and helplessness bubbling inside. He didn't know where to start. All that ran through his mind was that he was abandoning Aaron, and the man had experience that way too much already in his life. ''I have to go.''

Confusion pierced through Aaron. ''Go where? Robert, you're not making any sense.'' Aaron stepped in close and stroked up and down Robert's arms in an effort of reassurance. ''Rob, talk to me.''

''Lawrence fired me.'' Robert practically gasped the words out and seeing Aaron's face fall made the knife that Lawrence wielded twist even deeper into his flesh. ''It's my last day.''

''No, you can't leave!'' Aaron cried. He had only just found Robert. Had only just found the one person who had given a damn about him. ''He can't just fire you!''

Robert's own emotions took the backseat as instantly he wanted to soothe Aaron. He held Aaron's shoulders tight meeting the mans tear filled gaze. ''Aaron this isn't the end. I'll write, you have my number and I'll visit as often as I can.''

''It's not the same. You'll forget about me just like everyone else did.'' Aaron shrugged him off and slumped back into the wall. Every time his life found an upward trajectory the rug would be pulled out from under his feet and he would come crashing back down to rock bottom.

Robert crouched in front resting his hands on Aaron's knees that had curled into his chest. ''If I could change this, Aaron, I would. I don't want to leave you, but Lawrence knows people in high places. I tried to threaten him with unfair dismissal, but he said he'd use the riot against me.'' Choosing to leave out Aaron's drug bust aiding Lawrence's bid in getting rid of him for fear of Aaron blaming himself, Robert focused on alleviating Aaron's sorrow. ''I promise you, Aaron, you're all that matters to me. I'll wait.''

''Wait for what?'' Aaron scoffed. ''I won't get out of here for at least another 20 years!''

''On good behaviour you could be paroled,'' Robert tried to argue, but he knew that any semblance of a normal existence with Aaron by his side was an incredibly long way off.

''Yeah right!'' Aaron shook his head bitterly. He was grateful for Robert's attempt, but it was futile. This was it. The end arrived before they even had a real chance to begin. ''I'll be dead sooner than my release date anyway.''

''Don't say that.'' Robert replied sharply, refusing to even acknowledge that as a possibility.

''Jason won't be down the block forever. When he's back it will only be a matter of time.'' Aaron echoed the gangs earlier threat solemnly, yet refused to tell Robert of their menacing warning.

Robert felt completely helpless. ''I...I don't know what to do, Aaron. I wish I did. I wish I could stay with you, but Lawrence holds all the cards. I've got no leverage whatsoever.''

At that moment a light bulb glowed bright and Aaron's head snapped up. It was only a rumour, but it had piqued Aaron's interest when he heard it. He had kept his eyes and ears open, looked for any hint of evidence and he had came to a conclusion long ago that the rumour had credit. He didn't want to get ahead of himself and offer Robert and himself false hope, but he was already planning to test the hunch he held. ''I might.''

''What do you mean?''

''I have an idea, but I need some assurances from you first.''

....................................

Robert heard muffled sounds as he took measured and tentative steps toward Lawrence's office door. He extended his left hand, slowly curling his digits around the door handle. Armed in his right was his iPhone and as instructed by Aaron he had the camera primed and ready. If Aaron was correct with his hunch and Robert caught Lawrence in the act he would have all the ammunition needed to tip the scales well and truly in his favour.

With a deep breath he blasted into the room and snapped rapidly away on the touch screen iPhone, the shutter whirring as the guilty looking Lawrence recoiled at the shocking intrusion. He had been caught red handed in the midst of inappropriate relations with Ronnie Hale, one of Aaron's fellow E-wing inmates. The irony wasn't lost on Robert; he was using Lawrence's indiscretion in order to carry on his own with Aaron, but he ignored it. Aaron was different. They were different.

Robert was initially frozen to the spot. His jaw had hit the floor at the scene he had witnessed. Despite Aaron informing him of the rumour he had little belief that it would be true. In all the years he had been a part of the Whites' world he had never had an inkling the old codger was interested in men. Chrissie would surely have mentioned it, which meant the apple of Daddy's eye didn't know either. Another bargaining chip had fallen into Robert's lap.

It took a moment for Robert to regain his composure. ''Well, well, well, what do we have here?'' He mocked as he eyed Lawrence full of bravado. Robert had found his trump card and knew full well he could exploit it to his advantage.

Lawrence quickly dismissed Ronnie who had hastily re-buttoned his shirt and pulled his maroon sweater back over his head. With a sheepish and embarrassed look he scarpered from the office. Robert never attempted to stop him. The assurances Aaron had demanded was that Ronnie faced zero consequences and that it didn't become public knowledge. Ronnie had been a mate to Aaron and he didn't want to see him hurt or killed. Robert had no problem easing Aaron's worries on that score, he held no quarrel with Ronnie, this was all about Lawrence.

''Looks like you've got some explaining to do, Larry.'' Robert smugly declared as he sat in Lawrence's expensive desk chair. He scrolled through the myriad of photos and couldn't help himself from turning the screw just a little more. ''Wow, that is not a pretty picture! I'm sure the board would think the same too.''

''Don't you dare threaten me, boy!'' Lawrence boomed.

''Threaten? No, I'm not threatening. Not yet at least.'' Robert chuckled.

Lawrence hung his head in defeat. He knew his hands were tied. Robert had all the evidence he needed in those photos. He wouldn't be able to explain away that level of evidence. ''What do you want Robert?''

''You know what I want, Larry.'' Robert smirked before over dramatically hissing and gagging at another incriminating photograph. ''Hey, I've just thought is this why you despise me so much?'' Robert queried as he vaguely motioned to the spot where Lawrence and Ronnie were getting intimate.

''I don't follow.'' Lawrence spoke through gritted teeth.

''Were you jealous? You were weren't you?'' Robert belittled with precision as he stood and rounded the desk to stand beside the older man. ''All this time hating me when really you wanted me for yourself. Seeing me with your daughter killed you because instead of me being with her you wanted me in your bed.''

''You disgust me!'' Lawrence snarled in Robert's face.

''You sure about that,Larry?'' Robert laughed. ''Jealousy can bring out the worst in people. Did it eat you up knowing that your darling daughter got to sleep with me and you had to settle for just fantasies.''

''I loathe you!''

''They say there's a fine line between love and hate, Larry.'' Robert smirked, enjoying poking the bear far too much, ''but lets just cut to the chase, shall we?''

The writing was on the wall and with massive reluctance Lawrence folded. He had no other choice. ''You're no longer fired.''

''Good. I'm glad we can agree on something.'' Robert stood letting Lawrence have the brief impression that he was off the hook before pulling the trigger on what he actually desired. ''But Larry,'' He threw a patronising arm around Lawrence's shoulder, ''I don't want my job back. You see I want more. I want the E-wing governor role.''

''What?!'' Lawrence snapped as pulled away from Robert. ''I can't! You've not been in the profession long enough. The PO's would be up in arms. Not to mention the board of directors! They would never allow it.'' He argued vociferously.

''What was it you said this morning?'' Robert asked rhetorically. ''Oh yeah I remember, you know people in high places. I'm sure with the right words in the right ears you could swing it. After all the favoritism excuse hardly applies anymore now that I've binned that bimbo daughter of yours.''

''How dare you!'' Lawrence snarled. ''It's out of the question!''

''That is a shame,'' Robert nodded with faux disappointment. He had Lawrence in the palm of his hand and knew he could play him like a fiddle. ''I guess these photos will have to go to the board. I suppose I won't be the only one unemployed now. In fact you could even face criminal charges. Now that really would be a fall from grace.''

Robert had barely taken half a step before Lawrence caved. ''Fine! You have your damn promotion! I'll make the necessary arrangements and calls, but first you delete those photos.''

Robert scoffed at Lawrence's attempt at bargaining. He held no power. ''Yeah, I'm not that stupid. I'll keep the photos and I'll be sure to back them up just in case you have any ideas of stealing and destroying my phone.''

Lawrence backed down once more, the man was full of rage and disdain. ''You've got what you wanted, Robert. Now get the hell out!''

''Pleasure doing business with you. I think I might go and make myself comfortable in my new office.'' With one final smug glance toward the old man Robert left feeling triumphant. He had beaten Lawrence in their long and drawn out game of chess. Defeating the White dynasty was pure satisfaction.

Along with Aaron's help he had secured not only a job, but a sought after promotion. Robert was also looking forward to reaping the benefits of having his own office that was discreetly located in a corner of the prison near to E-wing. Now he and Aaron could spend more time together with much less risk of being caught. A secluded refuge where it could just be them.

Robert had definitely landed on his feet. He had beaten Lawrence at his own game. The chess match was complete and as the dust settled Robert had emerged the victor.

Checkmate!

..................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One word: SMUGDEN!!!
> 
>  
> 
> If you want you can follow me on twitter @brokenspell77


	13. Piece of the Puzzle

 

''I haven't even done anything!'' Aaron argued as he shrugged free of the PO's grip that was leading him through the maze that was HMP Hotten.

It had passed 1am and was long after lights out when the officer barged into his cell, the sudden illumination overhead blinding him in his groggy state. All that he was told was that the Wing Governor wanted to see him and immediately he had a sinking feeling in his gut.

Aaron had received no word from Robert despite his promise to come back to him whether he possessed good news or bad. Robert's absence had been on his mind all night. It kept him awake, hours spent tossing and turning, the bed more uncomfortable that night than any that came before. His exhausted eyes finally succumbed, but the rude awakening had burst in on him what felt like mere minutes later. He almost called out Robert's name on instinct as the intrusion made him jump and sit bolt upright. When he saw it wasn't Robert his heart sank.

The hunch he had revealed to Robert must've been fruitless. It was the only explanation as to why Robert hadn't returned to him. Which meant Robert had lost his job. His last shift was over. He had left and Aaron would be without him. Aaron tried to keep a lock on his emotions, but tears welled up and his heart started to crack before the inevitable shatter at not being able to see Robert anymore. To not usher in a new day with a kiss from him every morning. Bitterness coursed through his veins, old wounds stinging. It was typical that the moment he finally found something amazing in his life it would be torn away as swiftly as it arrived.

He was brought out of his malaise by the E wing Governor's office door swinging open and the sorrow was replaced by a mass amount of confusion. Robert was sat at the desk. Aaron could tell that he was fighting back a smile and there was a twinkle in his eye.

''Thank you,'' Robert said to the escorting officer, ''I'll take him back to the wing after we've finished here,'' Robert told his colleague. There was a bite to his tone in an attempt to convince the officer that Aaron was only there at this time of night because he was in deep trouble. Both men were always cautious of raising any suspicion.

As the door closed Robert focused solely on him breaking out into a bright and beaming grin. ''Hey you.'' Robert pulled Aaron into his body and kissed him hard. Robert wore a mask. Hid behind a hostile veneer most of his life. But he had been frightened and distraught at having to leave Aaron behind. Now he wanted to cling tighter than ever to the man in his arms after coming so close to losing him.

The kiss broke apart and Aaron shook his head filled to the brim with unanswered questions. ''What the fuck is going on, Robert?''

''Let's just say your hunch turned out to be right.''

''Lawrence and Ronnie?'' Despite having the hunch and hearing the whispers it was still a shock to have it confirmed. Ronnie was a good man and Aaron wished he wasn't caught up in such a messy situation with Lawrence White of all people. The irony was also not lost on him seeing as he was embarking on a similar illicit relationship with Robert.

Robert nodded with a satisfied smirk. ''My job is officially safe, thanks to you.'' Robert pushed his forehead against Aaron's and just breathed. Now more than ever he was positive that he needed Aaron as a permanent fixture in his life.

Now Aaron's smile shone. After all that Robert had done for him he was pleased to have returned the favour. He was then reminded of their location and a whole new set of questions sprung free. ''So why are we in here?''

''I may have got more out of Lawrence than just job security.'' Noting Aaron's befuddled look he clarified further, ''you're looking at the new E-wing governor.''

''What?!'' Aaron hissed as he stepped back from Robert. ''Why the fuck would you do that? Why do you even want that job? I thought you said you only started working in corrections because of Chrissie and Lawrence forcing you, not because you wanted to?''

''I thought you'd be happy?'' Robert was dismayed at Aaron's negative response to his promotion. He only saw it as a positive result.

''Happy? Why would I be happy that you're now the king of the shit house that I live in?''

''Aaron, the only reason I'm still here is because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you!'' Robert defended, his own voice rising in volume to counteract Aaron's. ''I couldn't leave you behind!''

Aaron softened at the declaration his body shivering as the words rushed over him. ''I didn't wanna lose you either,'' he whispered shyly.

Robert slid his hands to Aaron's waist, the fiery outburst appearing to be burning out before it even really raged, thumbs stroking over the bones of his hips trying to placate the younger man further. ''I don't care about the job. I care about you.''

Aaron nodded as Robert's words made his heart swell and his affection grow. Memories of the past taunted and tormented reminding him constantly that happiness was always fleeting in his world. Sooner or later it would all smash to pieces like a fragile vase and the shards of glass would cut him open creating deeper and bloodier wounds.

''Aaron,'' Robert tilted Aaron's chin up with a slender finger so their eyes met, ''I mean it, you are all I want. You told me you were mine remember? Well I'm yours.''

They kissed tenderly with the taller mans arms looping around Aaron and holding him close. He melted into Robert, his breath stolen as their tongues swirled together in a kiss more passionate than Aaron had ever experienced. As they parted Aaron felt light headed, his body floating, and every movement felt as though he was wading through treacle. Three words lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he bit them back and swallowed them down.

''So do you wanna make this official or not?'' Robert projected confidence, but he was rattled with nerves comprised by the fear of rejection. ''Be my boyfriend?''

The words were whispered against Aaron's lips and the emotion swelling were a stark contrast to those that consumed him on the way to the office. The fears he harboured fell deadly still. Sniffing and wiping away the tears that threatened to fall, he could only nod feeling overcome.

Robert hugged him tight, his warm body pushed up against him, strong arms around him, comforting hands stroking his back and soft kisses at his neck. ''Look around,'' Aaron trailed Robert's gaze around the office, ''we can meet here.'' A soft kiss was placed on his neck. ''Spend more time together.'' Kisses along his jaw. ''With a lot less risk.'' A kiss to his lips.

Aaron smiled brightly and gazed longingly into Robert's eyes. ''Keep talking.''

The disappointment of barely being able to spend time with Robert now he had added responsibilities were erased. With the additional privacy he would be seeing much more of Robert and he couldn't wait. He was well aware of how much his happiness hinged on the man stood before him, but he didn't regret falling so hard. As for the haunting demons that still lingered they were driven to retreat as he was determined to make the most of the light that had entered his life.

''I was thinking maybe you could put in an application for a change of job. You could work here in the office. Tidying, cleaning, making cups of tea. I can guarantee your application would be successful.'' Robert suggested with the hope of having Aaron in his vicinity all the time. Admittedly Aaron's presence would provide a distraction, but one he welcomed.

''Waiting on you hand and foot you mean?'' Aaron joked, but was already intent on applying as soon as possible. ''I know what you're up to, Sugden.''

''Do ya?'' Robert slipped his tongue into Aaron's mouth and moaned into the heated kiss. He really was struggling to keep his hands off Aaron after coming within a hairs breadth of losing him. ''I just want you to be close so I can kiss you all the time.''

Aaron narrowed his eyes trying and failing to look serious. The happiness within his dazzling blue orbs was a tell tale sign for Robert that Aaron was happy and that made his own heart flutter.

''By the way from now on it's Governor Sugden to you.'' Robert smirked cheekily before being shoved hard in the chest which sent him toppling backwards into a sitting position on the desk.

''Dream on!'' Aaron laughed as he was tugged by his jumper between Robert's thighs, his hands coming to rest on the thick muscles and his hands gripped them as Robert pecked him on the lips.

''I could put you down the block for abusing an officer!''

''Shut up,'' Aaron told him with a smile and roll of the eyes before trying to pour all that was locked up in his heart for the man into another lingering and passionate kiss.

....................................

Aaron was reading the latest issue of Auto Trader magazine that he always bought with his weekly prison spends when a gentle tap on his cell door drew his attention. A woman's head poked in asking if she could come in. The lady had long brunette hair, big brown eyes and as he granted her entry he noticed the dog collar at her throat and realised it was the prison vicar that Robert wanted him to talk to.

''Hi, it's Aaron Dingle, isn't it?''

''Who wants to know?'' Aaron instantly regretted his short reply. It was a default setting. His heckles always rose when he knew he was to be confronted with an idea that he wasn't keen on. ''Sorry.''

Harriet shook her head waving off any need of an apology. She smiled kindly and perched on the bed. ''My names Harriet Finch and I'm the prison vicar here in HMP Hotten. I spoke to your personal officer, well wing governor now,'' she amended, ''and he seemed to be worried for you.''

''I don't need a shrink,'' Aaron stated. He felt cornered and when that happened more often than not he snapped and became hostile. He knew Robert and even the vicar only wanted to help, but he was well aware that she would dive into his psyche. She would turn over stones and unearth secrets that he never wanted revealed.

''What about a friendly ear?'' Harriet asked mindful to not heap pressure onto Aaron's shoulders. The inmates were renowned for being confrontational when she first introduced herself. Many saw her as just another a screw but in a different uniform so it took time to earn their trust. Prisoners that actually sought her out for guidance, help or advice were few and far between. ''You know a lot of inmates find it helpful to talk things through.''

''What things?'' Aaron questioned full of dread. For years now he had been petrified that someone would find out. That they would see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. That he'd be confronted with his worst nightmare.

''Whatever it is you feel the need to talk about,'' Harriet sensed the reticence and that always alarmed her, ''family, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, any troubles you're having, the reason you're in here. Ultimately whatever we discuss is up to you.''

''I have nothing to say,'' Aaron lied. There was plenty he could say. Horrific tales that resulted in the scars on his body as well as the scars on his mind.

''Mr. Sugden seemed to think you might benefit from a few sessions.''

Robert. He had always fought his corner. Always believed in him. Had protected him. Robert had been so enthusiastic about the counselling sessions describing to him how they help millions of people around the world and if it stopped Aaron from cutting then it would be worth it.

''Is there a reason he might think that?''

With Robert's hopeful and caring face at the forefront of his mind he stood up and lifted the maroon jumper to reveal the self inflicted scars that littered his stomach. He couldn't look Harriet in the eye as tears rolled down his face and his breathing turned shaky. He felt himself being dragged back down to the hell he had endured all those years.

Harriet noted Aaron shrink in on himself. How his hands trembled as they disappeared into the arms of the prison issue jumper along with his body deflating as he sat back down with his knees pulled tight to his chest. He looked like a scared little boy and Harriet knew Aaron was carrying something that had created a major impact on his life and she was determined to help.

''Aaron, I will never judge you and I won't make you do anything you don't want to do,'' Harriet asserted in a bid to alleviate any fear or anxiety growing in Aaron's head. ''There's a chance that some of our sessions may be difficult and upsetting, but I will do all that I can to help. So what do you say, do you want to make an appointment?''

Aaron wiped away his tears, his eyes red and stinging and he nodded determined to make an effort. At least for Robert.

Harriet seemed pleased and she quickly opened a black diary where she kept all of her appointments and report deadlines and flipped page after page of her schedule. ''I can squeeze you in on Friday morning at 9. The first session we'll mainly get to know each other a little bit. Discover who you are, what you like and your hobbies. Will that be alright?''

Aaron found he appreciated the way Harriet put his mind at ease if only marginally. ''Yeah, I can do that.''

...................................

The days had rushed by in a blur and Friday arrived far too soon. Aaron had been fixated on his impending counselling session, wary and panic stricken at the thought of letting his guard down. Terrified of revealing all that he had tried so hard to bury, but with every wobble and vow to back out of the commitment Robert would tell him how proud he was for taking that step. Or he would see Robert in his mind with his beautiful, safe and encouraging gaze and it would drive Aaron on.

Robert had shown up early that morning in his cell providing a much needed distraction from his agitated state of mind. The world always fell away the instant Robert's lips met his own and strong arms hugged him tight. Robert's constant support brought forth the determination he needed and his boyfriend even made sure to be the one to escort him to Harriet's office on the far side of the facility. With a reassuring squeeze to his shaking hand Robert knocked on the door and left Aaron and Harriet alone.

From then old habits reared their ugly head. Aaron had instantly clammed up the second Harriet changed the subject from the benign small talk to querying about his family and life before being locked up. Harriet's voice petered out and Aaron became spellbound by the clock that hung on the wall. Minute by excruciating minute ticked on by.

''Aaron?'' Harriet reached out touching his shoulder and he recoiled away as if her touch scorched his skin. ''Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you it's just you've not said a word for nearly 20 minutes.''

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose. His hands trembled uncontrollably. He fidgeted in the chair. His foot tapped restlessly on the carpet. He felt the oxygen being drained. He was suffocating and desperate to escape. ''I can't do this.''

''What can't you do, Aaron?''

''I'm sorry.''

''You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn't mean to push too hard, but what did I say that made you pull back?'' It was always a hard task discovering the inmates' triggers and then learning to approach them without causing distress to the patient. ''Was it your family?''

''I don't have a family. Not anymore.''

''When was the last time you talked to them? Perhaps they'd be happy to hear from you?''

Aaron scoffed a bitter taste on his tongue. ''They want nothing to do with me after what I did.''

''And what did you do?''

''You already know.''

''I do, but have you ever said it? Have you said it out loud?''

''I killed someone alright?!'' The words bursting out loud and angry. ''I killed a man!''

''Just a man?''

''Screw this!'' Aaron was losing control. He needed to run. To hide. He made it to the door before Harriet stopped him by standing between him and his escape. ''Move!''

''Why did you come here, Aaron, if you didn't want my help?''

''I made a promise to someone.'' The words drove a knife into Aaron's heart and he was distraught at knowing he was letting Robert down.

''You can't do it for them, Aaron. You need to do this for you. I can see the weight of the world on your shoulders. Aren't you tired yet?'' Harriet's voice was soothing and the frantic reaction to being confronted with the darkness that encapsulated his life started to wane. ''Let me help you.''

Aaron let out a shuddering breath. His racing heartbeat starting to slow back down. He ran his hand through the tears shed and rubbed at his nose with his sleeve. ''I'll try. I wanna be happy. I do wanna let it go...but I'm scared.''

''You don't have to be scared. Everything that is said in this room stays in this room.'' Harriet held him by his shoulders grounding him and restoring a semblance of calm within.

''I wasted most of the session,'' Aaron mumbled as he sniffed, ''sorry.''

''Doesn't matter. Not if you come back next time anyway. Same time, same place?''  
  
''Okay.'' Aaron smiled faintly grateful for Harriet's understanding and caring nature. ''I'll try.''

..............................

''How did it go?'' Robert questioned as he passed Harriet a mug of coffee over the desk in his office. He had been eager all day to find out how it went, but didn't want to bother Aaron knowing full well the step he had taken that morning was a big one.

''It went as well as I expected,'' Harriet sipped her coffee before continuing, ''he was resistant and spent most of the session staring at the clock. To be honest I think he only showed up because he promised you.''

Robert sighed knowing Aaron would struggle. Aaron's defenses were strong. Made of concrete and reinforced steel and it took a lot to penetrate that fortress. It was still a wonder that he had, but it also gave Robert a sense of joy that they had both found strength to let each other in. ''I wondered if he'd clam up.''

''As nice as it is that he wants to make you happy by attending these sessions that type of mindset will not help him.'' Harriet placed her steaming coffee on the desk and flicked through the notes she jotted down during the session. ''However I think you made the right call. Our sessions will benefit him.''

''You really think so?'' That was all Robert needed to hear. Whatever painful incident it was that made Aaron slice into his beautiful body Robert wanted it to be taken away. He wanted Aaron to be free, happy and safe.  
  
''I believe it will. From my experience people who self harm usually do so because they either want to block something out or because of guilt. I'm wondering if Aaron sees it as self punishment.''

''Why would he want to punish himself?''

''I try not to speculate as I can only work with facts,'' Harriet explained as she glanced back to her notes. ''but it wouldn't surprise me if the trigger was connected to the murder he perpetrated. Just out of interest what details do you know of the murder?''

''Not too much,'' Robert answered truthfully. He had read through Aaron's file numerous times as his personal officer as well as the files on computer. ''All I really know is that he killed a man with a blow to the head and that he plead guilty at his trial.''

''Well as I said before it's dangerous to speculate as you can become focused on that idea only instead of following the signs the patient is actually giving you, but I think a lot of answers lay in the identity of the man that he killed.''

................

All day Robert's mind kept drifting back to Aaron and his conversation with Harriet in his office. If any clues as to how to help Aaron were hidden in his crime then he would find them. He wondered if Harriet was trying to lead him to a discovery or at the very least giving him a hint of where to look. He figured he was reading far too much into their conversation and unfortunately his hectic schedule ate up many hours as he continued to find his feet within his new role as wing governor and he had to tear his attention away.

His 12 hour shift had long since ended and he was now well into his 15th as he finally could turn his attention back to Aaron. Along the way he found himself increasingly torn between hunting for answers and his dedication to Aaron. He wondered if he was betraying his boyfriend by looking for answers elsewhere instead of getting them from the man himself. Throughout the day the scales had tipped in and out of favour of Robert doing his own detective work until he finally concluded that ultimately his concern and affection for Aaron outweighed everything and he was willing to do anything to help him.

With a fine tooth comb Robert had scrutinised Aaron's prison file, reading documents comprised of Aaron's police statements, court hearings, witness statements, prison record, details of the murder, the victims name, but none of it gave the information Robert desired. Frustratingly he suspected he was close. That the answer was staring him in the face. He had every piece of the puzzle, yet he couldn't connect them together to form a clear picture. It just wouldn't coalesce.

As the hour crept toward midnight suddenly it clicked. A vivid memory coming to mind of him and Aaron. The clue he needed within it. With haste he typed into an internet search engine inputting the name Aaron Dingle, but the newspaper article he wanted was not in the results. After a moments contemplation Robert changed his search criteria to Jackson Walsh. The top hit was the exact article he had seen before. The local newspaper clipping that Jason had discovered and Aaron had shown him in his cell all those months back.

The fog dissipated and Robert could see the picture now. His pursuit had reached its conclusion. The internet search for Aaron Dingle yielded no result because he had entered the wrong name. Instead of Aaron Dingle he should've searched the name Aaron Livesy.

Robert's stomach dropped and his head spun as he sifted through the copious amounts of paperwork strewn over his desk. Finding Aaron's prison file he scanned the paperwork and found the victim of Aaron's crime. The man that he had murdered over four years ago. The mans name was Gordon Livesy. Aaron killed his father.

.................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mystery of Aaron's crime is finally revealed! Did you see that coming? How will Robert react to his discovery? And how will Aaron?
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you're still enjoying this rollercoaster! 
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	14. Drug Wars

 

Robert fell back into his desk chair letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. Another inmate had overdosed on his wing and after receiving the emergency call from the PO's on E wing in the early hours Robert had barely had a chance to sit down. Dawn hadn't broken when the shrill tone of his phone wormed its way into his consciousness and woke him with a start. He had dragged himself from his warm, cosy bed to attend to the critical situation. Mornings had turned cold and frosty as winter had arrived in earnest. October was on the verge of turning into November and the threat of snow storms were frequently announced by the weather experts. The north of England always received deep snow fall and many flurries. Despite a long spell down in London Robert was no stranger to the inclement weather conditions after being born and raised in Yorkshire. He used to loathe having to work day and night on the farm with his father and brother in preparation for the harsh and bitter winter months.

After scraping his frosted windscreen and wrapping himself up in a thick coat, scarf and gloves Robert had hurtled toward HMP Hotten. The SMO and Nurse Laurel had given him the details of the inmates OD and it was the worse case scenario for Robert. It fit the already established pattern of heroin OD's that had been rife on E wing now for nearly a year. The moment he had stepped foot in HMP Hotten as a fresh faced newly hired PO Lawrence had impressed upon him and all staff on E wing that the situation needed to be handled, but no matter how hard they tried to stem the drug flow the substances still made their way over the wall. Robert knew damn well Jason was the mastermind, his gang the foot soldiers, but he had never been able to detect how the drugs got into the prison in the first place.

Frustrated and tired Robert ran a hand through his hair and over his face knowing that the blame would fall on his shoulders. Lawrence would be on the warpath and take satisfaction in holding him accountable.

Right on cue the Governor steamed into Robert's office, ''Another OD Robert! I can see you're just as an inept Wing Governor as you were a PO.''

Robert gritted his teeth willing himself to not snap and trade insults with the old bastard. ''Could you knock in future? It's rude to just barge in Larry.'' Robert aimed a devilish smirk that he knew full well would rile Lawrence up.

''The board will be furious and want rid of you in a heartbeat if you don't solve the problem!''

''Well it's not an easy problem to solve is it? After all you didn't did you?''

''Do your damn job, Robert!'' Lawrence bellowed. Getting Robert the promotion had certainly raised many eyebrows and with countless other incidents Lawrence was well aware he was under intense scrutiny, he couldn't afford to have Robert make him appear incompetent. ''Or do us all a favour and leave!''

''You don't want rid of me, Larry,'' Robert grinned aggravating Lawrence all the more, ''if I did leave why would I need to keep your dirty little secret.''

''I loathe you!'' Lawrence hissed. ''And I swear I will get rid of you one day.'' He vowed.

''Not if I get rid of you first,'' Robert retaliated, ''in fact maybe I should go to the board and reveal your secret. You never know I could run the place instead.''

''You'll never get my job!''

''I'm the only reason you still have your job. You should be thanking me, so from now on unless you really need to see me I suggest you keep out of my way.'' Robert could see Lawrence swallow down any retort, the man was backed into a corner and Robert had no qualms of reminding him of his predicament. ''Close the door on your way out.''

Robert watched on smugly as the dejected Governor closed the door behind him. Getting one over on Lawrence always filled Robert with amusement, but unfortunately the old codger was correct. If Robert didn't cut off the drug supply and soon the board of directors would come down on him like a ton of bricks. He would be removed as wing governor and maybe fired altogether which meant facing the possibility of losing Aaron again. With a heavy and worn out sigh Robert was adamant in ending E wings thriving drug trade.

...................................

Aaron could sense the tension radiating off Robert as they cuddled on the L shaped sofa in Robert's office. Aaron had officially started his new job role that morning and the couple took the opportunity to spend time together.

Robert knew he should've been focusing on ending the drug issues that plagued the wing, but any line of inquiry bore no fruit all morning. Aaron was a welcomed distraction. The man calmed his frazzled mind and brought a much needed smile to his face. For the past few days Robert had faced an internal battle on whether to ask Aaron about his discovery. His curiosity had been piqued and after all that he knew about Aaron he was certain his boyfriend wasn't a cold blooded killer. He wanted answers, but had decided to let Aaron reveal them in his own time. And on his own terms.

Aaron nuzzled into Robert's chest as he brushed his fingers over the soft skin of Robert's stomach. He had pulled Robert's white floral print shirt free of the waistband of his trousers and for a while had been circling a single digit around his belly button as Robert kissed him and tugged his leg across Robert's own body.

''Are you okay?'' Aaron mumbled into Robert's chest.

''Yeah I'm fine,'' Robert answered followed by a kiss to the top of Aaron's head. Aaron tilted his head and gave an incredulous look. ''I'm just a little stressed, but nothing for you to worry about.''

''I do worry,'' Aaron stroked a thumb over his cheek, ''talk to me.''

''That OD it could bite me in the arse. The board have been on Lawrence's back for months about it and now with another OD that nearly killed another inmate it won't look good as it happened on my wing.''

''Wouldn't they just blame Lawrence?''

''Doubt it. He knows people in high places. And if by some miracle they did blame Lawrence he would do everything in his power to bring me down with him. After what I did to him he would make sure of it.'' Robert huffed dejectedly. He knew he was on the ropes and the board of directions could knock him out with a right hook at any time.

''I might be able to help,'' Aaron sheepishly announced, ''I mean I used to be a part of the crew so I might know something.''

Robert sat up suddenly hanging on every word. ''You know how the gear gets in here?''

''Used to. I don't know if Jason uses the same plan or not.''

''It's worth checking out,'' For the first time Robert actually dared to hope that he could blow the drug trade into smithereens and yet again laud something over Lawrence's head. ''How did the gear used to get in?''

Aaron winced the prisoners code still inhabited his way of thinking. He glanced at Robert and saw the stress and worry etched on his features and he knew without a shadow of doubt his mind was made up. If it was a choice between protecting Jason's earner and Robert there was no competition. In fact Robert would win over anyone, every time. ''It used to come through the kitchen. In the food delivery truck. Jason has a mate on the outside who cut a deal with a delivery driver.''

''But the food is always inspected.''

''Well it wasn't hidden in the obvious places was it?'' Aaron chuckled. It seemed Robert needed to learn just how crafty and sly his fellow inmates could get when desperate for a fix. ''Rob, it was stuffed inside the chickens.''

''Are you serious?'' Robert couldn't believe the lengths some prisoners would go to get contraband passed the prison gates. With Aaron's amused nod Robert began plotting a drugs bust. It was imperative he brought the drug trade down, but more importantly he had to ensure nothing could trace back toward Aaron. ''I promise you, I'll do this smart. They'll never know it was you.''

Aaron leant in to Robert's kiss savouring the taste and feel of Robert's lips. ''You better cos if anyone does suspect they'll be more than just Jason and the gang after me.''

Their kiss deepened and feeling bold Aaron moved his hands to Robert's waist making quick work of his belt. Robert grasped his hands and looked at him questioningly. Aaron smiled knowing Robert needed the reassurance that he was ready and the truth was he had been for a while now. Far too often alone in his cell at night Robert would invade his mind and he would have to take himself in hand in search of release.

''I'm sure,'' Aaron whispered against Robert's lips and was rewarded with a beaming smile that made his heart thump within his chest.

With dexterity Aaron had Robert's belt whipped off and the zip of his jeans open. He palmed at Robert's crotch finding him already hard and leaking. Both of Robert's hands squeezed at his arse pulling him flush, their bodies moving in sync. Aaron moaned into Robert's mouth as his confined erection brushed against Robert's body.

Following Aaron's lead Robert freed his boyfriends trapped dick, pushing both his jeans and boxers down to mid-thigh. He wrapped a hand around Aaron's throbbing cock and started to jerk him off tantalisingly slowly.

Aaron nuzzled into Robert's neck thrusting his hips needing more friction. Needing more kisses. Needing more Robert. Aaron regained control straddling Robert, but wiggling enough to pull Robert's clothing down past his knees. Robert's cock was slick, pre-cum smearing across his stomach and down his length. Aaron swiped a finger through it sucking on the digit and he could see Robert's eyes flare and his dick pulse the erotic sight. Robert tugged his jumper bringing their lips back together and swirling his tongue inside, tasting the faintest remnants of his own arousal in Aaron's mouth. Aaron took both their cocks in hand and Robert grunted at the feeling of Aaron's hard on against his.

Aaron worked them at a frenetic pace, the room filled with wanton gasps and moans of pleasure. They were both close. Pent up lust that they'd locked up for far too long finally bursting free. Aaron rested his forehead against Robert's. Felt his boyfriends hot breath against his face and heard the hushed whispers of his name on Robert's lips. Robert's strong hands took a firm hold of his thighs and buried his face in the crook of his neck as he reached his climax. Aaron sat up watching thick ropes of cum erupt from Robert. Aaron was struck by how beautiful he looked in the throes of passion. His hair in disarray, his eyes clenched shut, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his muscles taut, legs trembling and his cock throbbing in his palm.

With the glorious visual beneath him Aaron chased after his own orgasm. His dick smeared with Robert's cum only added to the heat coiling in his stomach. He threw his head back, his body rocking, his toes curling. His hand was suddenly snatched at and replaced by Robert's and Aaron looked down to see Robert with a wicked grin and he lost it. With a long drawn out moan he came over Robert's fist and stomach, thick pools of his cum covering Robert's skin and as he rode the wave of his orgasm back to the shore.

Aaron collapsed forward onto Robert with his head resting on Robert's chest. The hammering of Robert's heart the perfect soundtrack. Arms encircled him as he snuggled closer into Robert's warmth and he smiled as he felt a loving kiss placed on the top of his head.

..................................

Robert was biding his time. Waiting for the prime opportunity to strike. He kept an ever watchful eye over the activities in the kitchen as two days passed without any contraband crossing the threshold. Once the deliveries had been collected off the van Robert had swiftly ordered all inmates to return to the wing under the guise of Robert wanting to address the wing. The kitchen workers suspicions weren't roused and before Robert followed the prisoners back to E-wing he rushed into the kitchen and searched the frozen chickens and came up empty. Aaron did inform him there were usually two transactions a week and Robert hung his hopes on the last day of the weeks drop off.

That Friday had arrived and Robert was poised. There had been a notable shift in the head cooks demeanour that caught his attention. The inmate was on high alert, constantly surveying the room for any prying eyes and Robert thrummed with anticipation sensing he was on the precipice. As the food was off loaded and carried into the kitchen he gathered the small group of fellow E-wing officers that were in the vicinity and swooped in without any pretence like he did previously.

The PO's accompanying Robert immobilised and backed all inmates into the wall as Robert headed straight for the meat section of the delivery. With a knife he slashed the protective plastic that kept the meat fresh and hygienic and spread the 8 chickens across the steel worktop. He scrutinised each prisoner and the head cook now looked seriously on edge as he sweated profusely. Robert knew there and then that he had hit the jackpot.

The first chicken produced a significant amount of heroin as well as plenty of pills. The next three harboured no drugs. The following then had a large supply of syringes contained in the carcass. The following three provided copious amounts of illegal substances such as cocaine, LSD and spice. Feeling satisfied and incredibly pleased to have ended the rampant drug trade on his wing Robert ordered all the inmates in the kitchen to be sent down to solitary confinement until further notice. He would have to notify the police and conduct interviews with each prisoner and all he wished was that one of them would give up Jason's name so he could keep him down the block for an extended stay and well out of Aaron's way.

Before conducting the phone call to the authorities Robert made a beeline for Lawrence's office and returned the favour of barging straight in. Thankfully this time Robert was spared the view of a half naked Lawrence being intimate with Ronnie.

''Just thought I'd drop by and give you the good news,'' Robert smirked always pleased to see Lawrence's disgruntled face at his mere presence.

''You're handing in your resignation?'' Lawrence quipped clearly not enthused by having to endure Robert's company.

''You're a funny man, Larry,'' Robert retorted sarcastically, ''but no I'm not resigning. Why would I when I'm the best thing to happen to HMP Hotten in a very long time?''

''Your ego knows no bounds,'' Lawrence griped as he threw daggers in Robert's direction. Robert was surprised he hadn't ran out them by now, surely that cutlery draw was near to empty.

''I have plenty to be egotistical about and I don't just mean my good looks and the size of my manhood. No what I'm referring to is this,'' Robert produced the hefty drug haul and scattered it across Lawrence's desk. ''Consider the drug problem officially over.''

''How? And who?'' Lawrence stuttered utterly dumbfounded.

''It was all coming in through the kitchen. To be honest I'm surprised a veteran in corrections such as yourself hadn't thought to have monitored the deliveries. But well what can you expect from a man who is well past his prime.'' Robert smugly goaded and he could see Lawrence seething. It wouldn't have surprised him if actual steam appeared and billowed out of the Governor's ears. ''I would suggest you contact the board of directors to tell them the good news, but I'm sure you would take all the credit so I'll do it myself.''

Robert snatched up the drug supplies and walked out of Lawrence's office with his head held high. He also left Lawrence's office door wide open unable to resist pissing the old man off just that little bit extra.

.....................................

The news of the drug bust flowed through the wing quicker than a river. Grumblings and moaning heard from every corner. Jason's 'business' had well and truly been blooming and Wing Governor Sugden's name was being trashed in every direction. Aaron sat in the eye of the storm trying to keep a smile at bay. He was pleased Robert had managed to blow the drug trade into smithereens and solidify his position as wing governor, plus it would keep Lawrence off Robert's back too. The other side of him was twitching, his fists clenched at hearing inmate after inmate slag off his boyfriend. Aaron was aware he couldn't stand up for him and fight his corner. If he did their interactions would be placed under a microscope and no doubt he would leap to the top of the list of suspects who had squealed.

''Bloody Sugden! I tell ya that fella has a lot to answer for.'' Ronnie grumbled from across the table. He and Aaron were playing card games; the latest round of rummy due to commence.

''I didn't think you'd care that the drug supply was cut off?'' Aaron questioned as he shuffled the deck of cards before dealing. ''Or have you become a smack head over the last 24 hours?'' He jested.

''Well I don't care about that. Had enough of the junkie in my cell shooting up non-stop.''

''The bust means the wing is free of Jason and the gang too,'' Aaron summarised. All of Jason's gang had been dragged from the wing kicking and screaming to join their leader in solitary confinement and that meant only one thing that their names had been given up. News spread like wildfire that the head cook had offered up both Jason and the entire gang to save his own skin and he had been swiftly whisked away to a cushy cell in witness protection.

''Well I won't miss them that's for sure.''

''So Sugden's done you a favour then, ain't he?'' Aaron wasn't stupid he knew damn well Robert was in Ronnie's bad books because he had caught him with Lawrence. If Aaron was to hazard a guess it would be that Lawrence has backed off and their illicit affair was in a cooling off period for the time being.

Ronnie chucked his cards down onto the table with a huff. ''I think I've had enough for today, lad. I'm gonna go rest in my cell.''

Aaron dropped the matter knowing Ronnie couldn't explain his outburst toward Robert and despite the mans questionable company and taste in men Aaron still considered Ronnie a friend. He felt he should harbour some guilt for his actions, but if the choice came between losing Robert or exposing Ronnie's relationship then there was no contest. It may be selfish, but for the first time in years Aaron had something he cherished and wanted to protect. There was no way he would ever give it up. Not without a fight anyway.

Collecting up the cards and passing them over to another inmate Aaron left the communal area and returned to E3 and his cell. The moment he reached the door a hard shove to the middle of his spine sent him sprawling inside. He heard the door slam shut before he'd even hit the ground. A rough grip fisted into his sweater and he was hauled to his feet and slammed back into the concrete wall. The air was driven from his lungs as pain radiated down the length of his spinal cord. A hand came to his throat. It was only then Aaron focused and came face to face with the aggressive intruder.

Officer Murphy snarled like a feral dog and squeezed at his throat robbing the oxygen from him even further. ''I have a message for you from Jason. He knows you played a part in bringing down the business and you'll pay for it along with that little guardian angel of yours.''

The strong hand compressed his windpipe harder and Aaron gasped desperate for air. The blood rushed to his head, his vision fraying at it's edges, his face had turned bright red and his eyes bulged and watered as he clawed at the unrelenting grip.

''You're on borrowed time, Dingle. You're a dead man.''

His throat was released and Aaron instantly fell to the floor. He wheezed trying to suck in enough oxygen to appease his lungs. The PO left his cell now that the threat had been delivered and Aaron coughed and spluttered in a heap as his stomach dropped at the menacing warning. Initially Reeling from Murphy's blindside and apparent collusion with Jason his focus turned to the threat.

Aaron knew down the line Jason and the gang would be released from solitary confinement, free to retaliate and carry out the violence that had been promised. However this threat was different. It concerned him more than ever because now he didn't have to just worry about his own safety, he had to worry about Robert's too.

............................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Rob has brought down the drug trade, Jason and the gang but will it come at a cost once they are released from solitary? And how much of a threat is Officer Murphy now that Aaron knows he's in Jason's back pocket? 
> 
> And finally Aaron and Robert get a little smutty :D 
> 
> Thanks again for the continued support for this story, it means so much <3
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	15. Shattered Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning*
> 
> Just a warning that this chapter does mention sexual abuse and murder. As much as I don't wanna spoil anything I also don't want anyone to read something they don't wish to. 
> 
> It's rather emotional too...
> 
> Anyway I hope you like the chapter.

 

Much to Robert's immense relief Aaron had agreed to another counselling session with Harriet. Despite experiencing severe anxiety and panic at the prospect of having to dive into the deepest and darkest recesses of his mind and potentially unearth secrets long ago buried Aaron had been spurred on by the pride that swirled in Robert's eyes.

''What about the future?'' Harriet asked as their session passed the midway point.

''What about it?'' The future was not something to dwell on. Most of the lads behind bars ignored the future, forgot the past and just simply tried to live through another day.

''Do you ever think about what it holds? What you could do in the future?''

''Why would I? I'm in here for another 20 years,'' Aaron scoffed. What was the point in entertaining the idea of a future, he found himself having to remind himself of that more and more as of late especially when he found himself curled up with Robert.

''You'll still have a life to live when you leave here, Aaron.''

A future with Robert was all Aaron wished for, but it was a pipe dream. An unattainable hope that taunted him and hung right in front of his face. There was no chance Aaron would make it through the next 20 years of his sentence. Jason would act on his threat and Aaron knew he'd be killed at his hand. Jason would never allow him to leave HMP Hotten alive. His only escape was from the hell hole would be a wooden box.

Besides if by some miracle he made it through the next two decades unscathed the life and future he craved wouldn't be waiting for him. Robert wouldn't wait all that time for him. He shouldn't have to wait. He deserved better and he was certain there was someone out there much better for Robert than he would ever be.

''Aaron?''

''Sorry,'' Aaron responded not realising he had gotten lost in the dense forest of his own thoughts. ''I don't think about the future. There's no point. End of.''

''It says in your file you used to be a mechanic,'' Harriet noted as she tried to encourage Aaron and give him some confidence. ''You have a skill. That will be handy to fall back on and be useful to gain employment.''

''Still have a record though, won't I?'' Aaron bitterly responded. The minute an employer saw an ex-crim they would be blacklisted. You could have all the qualifications in the world. Be the best candidate for the role, but that criminal record would always cripple you. Once a criminal, always a criminal.

''What about your former employer? Would they not rehire you?''

''No!'' Aaron snapped. For so long it had been a reflex to shut down any conversational avenue that could lead toward his family. To his past life in Emmerdale village. And to him.

Harriet didn't miss the change in Aaron and whilst cautious not to push too hard persisted with her questioning. ''Why wouldn't they? Surely they knew you pretty well?''

''Well they don't!''

''What makes you say that?''

''They haven't come to see me the whole time I've been in prison have they?'' No one had. Not Cain. Not Debbie. Not Uncle Zak or Lisa. Not even his mum. He had been exiled the moment he admitted he was guilty of killing _him_.

''Have you contacted them?''

''No. My entire family made it pretty clear they want nothing more to do with me.'' Aaron muttered with resignation. The word family tasted sharp and bitter. Brought forth heartache and abandonment. Family had been always been a foreign concept to him, yet the one thing he had yearned for since he was a boy. He believed he had it for a short lived moment, but being surrounded by family was ripped away the moment those handcuffs locked onto his wrists and he was bundled into the police car.

''The garage you worked at was a family business?''

''My uncle and cousin own it,'' Aaron explained.

Pouring salt on a still fresh and raw wound was the last thing he wanted to do. The moment his family cut ties he strived to follow suit. To leave them in the past. To tell himself he didn't need them. He never had. Yet at night memories of crowded Christmas dinners at Uncle Zak's or his mum getting drunk and singing on the karaoke with Charity would remind him of what he had lost.

''You don't talk to them or any other family members?''

''No, not since I murdered him.''

Harriet bit the bullet to confront Aaron head on once more. ''Who?''

''You know who,'' Aaron sighed, ''seriously we're doing this again?''

''Why can't you say who you killed, Aaron?'' Harriet was heedful of venturing down a road already travelled that riled Aaron up, but until she pushed Aaron they would get nowhere. ''Is it because you can't accept it? Is the guilt you feel just too strong?''

''No!'' Aaron hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. She was getting too close. He was on the precipice on the verge of falling. Hanging to the rock face with all his might. ''Shut up, shut up, shut up!''

''Who did you kill, Aaron?''

''I killed Gordon!''

''Your father, Aaron! You killed your father!''

''He was never my father! I hate him!'' Aaron bellowed as his fists clenched and his heard thundered and rattled the bones in his chest. His fingers were bloodied as he desperately clung on. He couldn't let go.

''You wanted him out of your life and you killed him!''

''No!''

''Then why Aaron? Why did you murder your father?''

''I didn't...I just...I wanted him to stop!''

Aaron couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. His nails scratched into stone and gravel as his legs dangled over the edge. He had said too much and eyes were wide in horror. He heaved his body onto the mountain top and crawled away from the drop. He felt bile rise up his throat and he knew he was going to vomit. He stood on trembling legs and bolted for the door as fast as they could carry him.

.................................

''Just thought I'd drop in and give you the good news,'' Robert looked up from his laptop to see Lawrence sporting a satisfied grin, ''you will be working Christmas Day. There will be skeleton staff unfortunately, but I'm sure you'll manage.''

''Okay, no problem,'' Robert saw the bewildered look on Lawrence's face at his lack of reaction. Truth be told Robert was angling to work the Christmas holiday anyway. He knew staff would be limited and thin on the ground. The inmates would be predominantly confined to their cells and only let out on the big day for Christmas dinner. Which left plenty of time for his very special plans that he had in the pipeline for himself and Aaron. ''Was that all? It's just I have work to do.''

''I must say you've taken that better than I envisaged,'' Lawrence admitted with disappointment. His goal to infuriate Robert had fallen flat on its face.

''I was planning on working anyway,'' Robert shrugged nonchalantly, ''close the door on your way out.''

Lawrence stopped in the doorway. ''Well I'm sure you'll enjoy your day here. Meanwhile, I'll be out of the country with Chrissie and her new fiancée.''

Robert chuckled knowing Lawrence had every intention of trying to hurt him in some way with that nugget of information. ''Well lets hope she can get this one down the aisle, eh? Ya know before he wakes up and sees sense.''

''How dare you!'' Lawrence growled turning furious at the attack on his darling daughter. ''She's better off without you that's for sure.''

''You've got that backwards old man, I'm better off without her. Now haven't you got a prison to run?''

With one final smirk from Robert the older man stormed off muttering curse words under his breath that Robert was certain were directed at him. Robert was glad that Chrissie had moved on, she may not have been the right person for him, but he cared for her in his own way. If she found happiness then good for her.

Besides he had found someone much better. He could be totally himself with Aaron. He never had to hide or pretend to be someone he wasn't. Aaron had made him happier than he had ever been before. Now they had found the one, he wasn't going to let him go. Aaron was everything.

..................................

As had become routine Harriet had gone to Robert's office after her session with Aaron. On a bi-weekly basis she would report back to the wing governors to update the progress on the inmates she saw that resided on their wings. Although Robert had requested that they met every time Aaron had a session instead of the normal intervals.

''The session ended rather abruptly today.''

''Why? What happened?'' Robert sat up straight every muscle coiled and ready on instinct to run to Aaron's side. ''Is he okay?''

''I'd keep an eye on him just for peace of mind, but despite him running out we got somewhere today. He admitted to killing his father.''

''Well that's progress right?''

''It is. I'm just wary of pushing him too far,'' Harriet held no fear for her own safety. She generally could gauge when a prisoner had violent inclinations. With Aaron she was afraid of him turning it in on himself and hurting himself. ''I don't want him to hurt himself.''

''Right. I'll keep a close eye on him.'' Robert did that anyway, but he would be more vigilant than ever before. If Aaron even had any thoughts of that nature he hoped he would confide in him, but he also knew Aaron closed himself off when he struggled.

''Also I have a feeling that there's more to Aaron's crime than he's revealed. There was a moment today where he was trying to hide something. And whatever it is he's been hiding it for a long time.''

''Like what?'' Robert was itching to go and see Aaron. To hold him close. To whisper in his ear how proud he is of him. The curiosity that lingered concerning the murder came second lagging far behind the concern he held for his boyfriend.

''I can't divulge what was said in the session as I mentioned before and I certainly don't want to theorise,'' Harriet said, ''but I think that there's a possibility that the murder Aaron committed isn't as cold blooded as we've all been led to believe.''

.........................................

It had been two days since Aaron had ran from her office and in that time she hadn't visited Aaron not wanting to pressure the man any further. It was always a balancing act and Harriet wanted to tip the right side of the scales. Pushing Aaron too hard and too fast wouldn't do him any good, yet at the same time to make a breakthrough she had to confront Aaron.

The vicar hadn't expected Aaron to show up, so she was surprised to see him sat outside her office tapping his leg restlessly. For most of the session Harriet avoided the topics that had Aaron speeding off last time and instead concentrated on Aaron's time as mechanic. She had been shocked at Aaron's candour that morning considering how their last encounter ended. She expected him to be silent and abrupt but he was talkative. By all accounts he had flourished during his time as a mechanic. He had come out, met his first boyfriend, developed friendships, reconnected with his mother and found his niche. Aaron even revealed that he dreamed of running his own business one day. Being his own boss being a particular perk. That was something he would apparently savour after being told what and when to do everything in prison for over 20 years.

The well soon ran dry with the current topic of conversation and Harriet approached her next with trepidation. ''How did you get on with the family you worked with? Your uncle and cousin?''

Aaron shifted uncomfortably in the well cushioned chair. ''We got on fine. They were supportive when I came out and all the stuff with Jackson.''

''Good I'm glad. And you lived with your mum? Did you always get on?''

His relationship with his mother had been turbulent to say the very least. Chas left him with his father at the age of 8 and then barely saw her over the following decade. When he arrived in Emmerdale they travelled a bumpy road but eventually formed a relationship. One that strengthened and finally Aaron felt he had a parent that loved him unconditionally. When he revealed he was gay Chas was there. When Jackson had his accident Chas was there. When Jackson died Chas was there. When he started cutting Chas was there. That's what made it all the more painful when he needed her most she was gone. She took _his_ side. She cried for _him_. Mourned _him_. And disowned Aaron.

_''You're no son of mine!''_

''Aaron? Are you okay?''

''Yeah, I'm good.'' Aaron tried to smile, but it didn't fully form. Nor did it reach his eyes. The only time it had over the last 5 years was when he was with Robert.

''I asked you about your mum.''

''We had our fair share of arguments, but she was there when I needed her most of the time,'' They were treading on dangerous ground and landmines were littered around the field they were travelling through. Aaron was keen to evade any further questioning pertaining his parentage.

''Have you tried getting in contact with her at all?''

''She doesn't wanna hear from me,'' Aaron swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. He had cried for his mum so many nights. He finally got her back. Had discovered the bond he had longed for all those years. Until _he_ took it away.

''I'm sure she...''

''She doesn't,'' Aaron interrupted knowing full well that Chas didn't want to hear or see him ever again. ''She made that clear when she disowned me for killing him!''

''What reaction did you expect from her when she found out you killed the man she was once with?''

''He could always manipulate her. She believed every word that ever came out of his mouth.'' Aaron eyes were dull, yet wide. He lost himself as words spilled from his lips. ''He wormed his way back into our lives and I had to deal with him staring back at me every day. I sat by and watched him get closer to mum. He charmed her and the whole family and I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to leave so many times. I practically begged him to stay away from mum, but he wouldn't.''

''Then what happened?''

''Late one night I went to his house, pounded on his door in the middle of the night until he answered. I threatened him. I told him I'd tell mum every thing, but he laughed in my face. He said she wouldn't believe me. That no one would.''

''Believe what Aaron?''

''What he did. He tried...and I just wanted him to stop...''

The trance seemed to break and Aaron's chest heaved as the panic set in. Tears streamed down his face and he could barely breathe as reality dawned on him that he had come so close to revealing far too much. Harriet held his hands gently and urged for him to continue, but he couldn't. He had buried it long ago. The lid on the coffin had slammed shut and he had set it aflame.

The walls closed in on him. His chest aching as his erratic breathing intensified. He saw lifeless eyes staring up at him. Dark secrets being whispered into his ear and the smell of alcohol filling his nostrils. He was going to vomit again and he lunged for the door.

''Aaron stop. Whatever it is you can tell me.''

''No, no, no.'' His vision frayed and the tears streamed down his face. His knees buckled and he felt against the door. He pushed his palms into his eyes wanting to banish away the memories. Harriet attempted to calm him, but he was too far gone and suddenly he lashed out sending books, files and stationery hurtling across the room.

The commotion had attracted the attention of the officer stationed in that area and in an instant Aaron was apprehended by Officer Murphy who drove him with excessive force into the wall. Aaron struggled against him. Flashes of being held down causing him to scream at the top of his lungs.

Murphy grasped the back of his head and then smashed it back against the concrete with a sickening thud. Harriet yelled for him to stop and attempted to pry the officer off of Aaron. It was then that Robert arrived running into the room. His focus pinpointed on Aaron. His heart broke seeing the state he was in and he yanked Murphy back and shoved him hard in the chest and fired an angered glare at the officer.

''Go!'' Robert ordered, ''get out!''

''Gov, I didn't do anything to him. He was going crazy so I had to subdue him!''

''Smashing his head into the wall seemed over the top to me,'' Harriet cut in not willing to stand by and let the man abuse Aaron or any other inmate.

''What?!'' Robert snapped, ''get back on the wing. I'll deal with you later.''

Aaron's sobbing quickly brought Robert's focus back to him and he watched as Aaron collapsed to the floor in a heap. Both he and Harriet crouched down beside him and tried to reach him, but he looked so far away. A distant look in his eyes. He looked haunted and frightened and Robert fought hard to quell his own tears forming.

''I think I'll take him back to his cell,'' Robert and Harriet hauled Aaron back to his feet and Robert saw the moment Aaron realised that he was there. Aaron instinctively rested his head on his shoulder and Robert had no time to worry about what Harriet though of the action. ''You're okay, Aaron.''

''I wanna go back to my cell,'' Aaron sobbed through his still streaming tears and harsh gasps for air as the blind panic started to recede in the wake of Robert's appearance.

''You can't move on, Aaron, not until you let it go.'' Harriet squeezed his shoulder in comfort. ''Just don't let it eat you up.''

With a confused glance at Harriet Robert lead Aaron out of the office clinging to his boyfriend tightly in affirmation that he was right there by his side.

.........................

Instead of returning to the wing Robert guided Aaron to his office. There was no chance in hell that he could leave Aaron alone in the emotional state he was in. Whilst he had calmed considerably he was still shaking from head to toe. Robert sat him down on the sofa and fetched him a glass of water, telling him to sip it slowly. He stroked up and down his spine and squeezed at his thigh trying desperately to keep Aaron with him and not loose him in panic like he had back in Harriet's office.

''I almost told her.''

Aaron mumbled into Robert's neck. His voice a broken, barely audible whisper. If Aaron's head wasn't resting on his shoulder he most likely wouldn't have heard. ''Told her what? You can talk to me, Aaron. You can trust me, you know you can.''

''I don't want you to leave me too,'' Aaron choked as he met Robert's eyes through his bleary vision.

Robert inched closer and held Aaron face within his palms. ''Not a chance. Do you hear me? Nothing will ever keep me from you.''

''I just wanted him to leave us all alone,'' Aaron took a shaky breath, ''seeing him just brought it all flooding back.''

''Your dad?'' Robert saw the shock on Aaron's face at him knowing the victim of Aaron's crime. ''His names in your file. Then I remembered the article you showed me about Jackson. Your name wasn't Dingle. It was Livesy. I connected the dots. Why did you want him to leave?''

''He hurt me.''

''He hit you?''

Aaron shook his head and through endless streams of tears and the lump in his throat he said the three words he had sworn he would never say. ''He raped me!''

Robert's breath got lodged in his throat as he saw Aaron shatter like glass in front of his very eyes. He pulled Aaron into his chest, held him tightly and let him cry. Deep heaving sobs and tears dampened his shirt whilst his own tears ran free. In that moment he vowed to be strong for Aaron. He would be a tower of strength. Be someone Aaron could rely on. Be his source of comfort. And hold him up when he stumbled. No matter what.

''I was 8 years old the first time. Mum left about 6 months before and I had been naughty that day. He came into my room in the middle of the night and I could smell the alcohol from across the room. I didn't understand. All I remember was that it hurt and I wanted him to stop.''

Robert didn't interrupt. He sat silent giving Aaron the time he needed. Every word was a dagger to his heart and he clutched Aaron tighter and tighter.

''I tried so hard to be good after that, but it happened again anyway. I just tried to shut everything out and just focused on the patters on the wall or tried to memorise the order that my books were lined up on the shelf. I stopped counting after five.''

Anger soon filled Robert and he wished Aaron hadn't killed his father so he could kill the scumbag instead. He hated the man with every fibre of his being for his heinous actions against the man he loved.

''I ran away and ended up with mum in Emmerdale. No one had heard from him in years, all we knew was that Sandra had left him and took my little sister with her. Then out of nowhere he turned up in the village. He started seeing mum again and I was reliving it all every day. I told him to leave over and over, but he wouldn't go. So that night I went to his house in the middle of the night and threatened to tell mum everything. He just laughed in my face and told me no one would believe me. I was always a troublesome kid and people would know I was lying, but I wasn't!''

Robert saw the fear of not being believed written all over Aaron's face as he looked up at him through red rimmed eyes. Robert kissed his forehead and told him he knew he was telling the truth.

''He told me that night that I still needed to be taught a lesson. He grabbed me and I just froze. It was like I was that 8 year old kid again and the next thing I know he was on top of me and I was begging him to stop. I just grabbed the first thing I could get hold of and I hit him as hard as I could. His eyes just stared down at me and I just hit him again. He fell to the side and it was only then I realised what I had done. I didn't mean to kill him. I never meant that. I just wanted him to stop. I just...''

''Ssshhh it's okay.'' Robert cradled Aaron and kissed the crown of his head. He held him close and never wanted to let go. ''It's alright. You're safe now.''

...........................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write for obvious reasons and a real tear jerking experience too. I just hope I did the scene justice as it's such an important issue.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> If you wish to do so you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	16. Anchor

 

Returning Aaron to his cell and leaving him alone all night had been the very last thing Robert had wanted to do. He dragged out how long he could feasibly keep Aaron with him without raising suspicions and serious questions. Regretfully around 8pm he escorted Aaron back to the wing making sure to tell him if he needed him before lights out that he could call. Aaron was resilient and assured Robert he'd be fine urging him to go back to the hotel and get some rest.

It hadn't kept Robert from spending the entire night tossing and turning. Not even the luxurious king size bed, crisp cotton sheets and plump pillows could relax and lull him into a slumber. His mind couldn't switch off from channel Aaron, worrying constantly that his boyfriend was putting a brave face on. He was inundated with thoughts of Aaron sat alone crying, cutting himself or worse.

More than ever before Robert's need to protect became fierce. He wished Gordon was still alive just so he could make him suffer. So he could kill him with his bare hands and spare Aaron the hell of being locked up. He didn't deserve to be. Aaron deserved to be free. He deserved to be happy. He deserved to be loved. And Robert wanted all those things to be with him. The future with Chrissie that he pretended he wanted had been at his finger tips, but he let it slide through his fingers like grains of sand without care or regret. All he saw in his future now was Aaron.

The clock struck 3am and Robert hadn't achieved a wink of sleep. He gave up on the quest, his mind still fully focused on Aaron. During the hours of attempting to get some shut eye it struck Robert that Aaron's prison sentence no longer fitted the crime. The fact should've came to him sooner, but the nucleus of his thoughts had been Aaron's state of mind. Nevertheless in the early hours he gathered his laptop, notepad and pen and started researching.

Whilst not being a complete novice when it came to the appeals process he had very little experience first hand and immediately set out to learn. Unfortunately the information gathered was that it could be a stressful and protracted route to take. Inmates who appealled their sentence could wait up to a year for their case to be heard and even then the presiding judge could dismiss it within a blink of an eye. The expense would be costly too when factoring in the need of a top lawyer. Luckily Robert had a decent nest egg remaining from his redundancy that could at least set the ball rolling.

Once sunlight began to creep through the small gap in the curtains Robert stopped searching for the best barristers in the area and gave himself a much needed caffeine hit. Most likely a caffeine IV would be needed later in the day, but as far as he was concerned his time had been well spent. He jumped into the shower, got dressed and prepared for another day inside the walls of HMP Hotten.

At the rate he was going he would arrive incredibly early, barely 6am, but he wanted to spend time with Aaron before unlock and the prison became like rush hour.

The prison had been desolate as he moved through the labyrinth of corridors, and E-wing was quiet and still. The wing governor side of him wished it could stay that way and hassle free all day. As he reached the E3 landing his steps turned more tentative. The jingle of his keys and the turning of the lock sounded as loud as a gunshot in the eerie silence surrounding him. He rushed inside the cell and pushed the door closed.

He was pleased to see Aaron looking peaceful in his slumber. The whole time he had been staring up at his ceiling wide awake he hoped for Aaron to be more successful and manage to get some rest. Especially after such a massive day. Aaron had attempted to stifle yawns when they were still together in his office the night prior and Robert concluded that the days events had probably taken it's toll not just emotionally, but physically too which attributed to Aaron sleeping.

Robert crouched at the bedside and felt his heavy eyes drifting shut now that his fears had been eased and that Aaron had actually managed to sleep. As if sensing his presence Aaron stirred and his flickering eyes slowly came to focus on Robert.

''Hey.''

''Hey,'' Robert whispered as he brushed a thumb over Aaron's cheek, ''sorry if I woke you.''

''You didn't,'' Aaron leaned into Robert's touch. ''What time is it?''

''Just gone six. I wanted to see you before unlock.''

''Check up on me you mean?'' Aaron said pointedly knowing exactly the reason for Robert's early arrival. He couldn't say that he minded. Being cared for wasn't something he was used to, but it wasn't something he begrudged from Robert.

''That too,'' Robert smiled apologetically. He knew Aaron would never want to be viewed as weak or fragile, but it tore him apart having to leave Aaron the previous night in such a vulnerable state. ''I hated leaving you.''

''I was fine.'' Aaron assured him. ''I think it helped. Telling you. I kept it inside for way too long.'' Aaron scooted back against the wall to make room for Robert's gangly body on his bed. He tugged at Robert's wrist encouraging him to lay down. He buried his face into the crook of Robert's neck as soon as the taller man curled up beside him.

Robert rested his head on top of Aaron's and peppered kisses into the mass of curls. He pulled the thin blanket over them both and slid a hand under Aaron's t-shirt to run soothing circles into the skin of his back. ''I'm glad you told me. You can tell me anything.''

Aaron nodded and smiled brightly unable to quite comprehend that he had this incredible man in his world. A man who he trusted implicitly and with his life. ''You can too.''

''Are you sure you're doing alright?'' Robert needed added reassurance after spending hours panicking and despite Aaron's exterior on the inside he could've been struggling.

''I swear.'' Aaron lifted his head to look Robert in the eye. ''Harriet was right I couldn't continue letting it eat me up.'' With a chaste kiss on the lips Aaron whispered for him to not worry.

''Speaking of Harriet I think you should tell her.'' Robert had been wrestling with the decision on whether to bring it up all night, it being another contributing factor to his lack of sleep, knowing how hard it was for Aaron to reveal the truth. He feared Aaron would push everyone including himself away if he felt pressured.

''I don't know...it took me so long to tell you.'' Aaron exhaled deeply, sat up and away from Robert's embrace. ''I don't know if I can do it again.''

''You can.'' Robert was resolute in that belief. He had never seen such strength before. ''You're so brave, Aaron. You're the strongest person I know.''

''Doesn't matter though does it?'' Aaron shrugged with an air of defeat sagging on his shoulders. ''I'll still be in prison. I'll still be known as a murderer. He still wins.''

''No, not anymore! I've been looking into an appeal and...''

''What's the point?'' Aaron interjected. ''I'm a cold blooded killer that's what everyone thinks. Including my own family.'' He added bitterly.

''But you're not. You know that. And I know that.'' Robert grasped Aaron's shoulders wanting desperately for Aaron to show some fight and join the battle he had already started to wage that morning. ''If there's even the smallest chance of you getting out of here isn't it worth a shot?''

''I don't even know what life I'd have out in the real world.''

''I do.'' Robert beamed as he stared into Aaron's baby blues. ''A life with me.''

Aaron's smile shone brightly and he kissed Robert in an attempt to convey how deeply his words meant to him. Articulating his feelings had never been Aaron's strong suit, but he didn't want to be a mystery to Robert. He tried to let his actions do the talking for him.

''If I do tell Harriet would you come with me?'' Aaron asked shyly. ''Do you have the time to be there for my session today?''

''If you want me to.''

''I do.''

Robert cupped the back of Aaron's neck, pressed their foreheads together and nuzzled against Aaron's nose. ''Then I wouldn't be anywhere else.''

........................................

Robert was amazed by Aaron's toughness as he recounted his traumatic past and the events of the fateful night that landed him inside HMP Hotten. He could tell Aaron was fighting to keep control of his emotions in front of Harriet. The distraught state that Robert was confronted with the day prior was absent, but he knew Aaron was battling to keep it at bay. He still trembled. His tears still fell. His breath still hitched. It took all the willpower Robert could summon to not hold Aaron's hand or swoop him up into his arms to hold him close.

Harriet didn't probe any further. She was thoughtful, caring and offered Aaron all the support he needed. Robert felt relieved when Aaron accepted the offer of more sessions. He wanted to be there for Aaron, but he felt out of his depth. He was scared of failing Aaron. Having a qualified individual looking after Aaron put his mind at ease slightly.

When Aaron left Harriet asked for Robert to stay behind. ''I feared it would be something of that nature. Hopefully now he will be able to find some sense of closure.''

''And get out of this place,'' Robert added.

''Is he looking into an appeal?''

''We've discussed it. Ultimately the murder charge is wrong. His sentence is far too severe.''

''I agree, but even if the charge is downgraded he could still remain in here. The judge will still say he ended a life.''

Robert was brought back down to earth with a bump. He was sure Harriet hadn't meant to sound so pessimistic. In actuality she was being realistic and Robert had to remind himself that the outcome could be a disappointing one. ''You're right, but I will say that the piece of scum got what he deserved.''

''Well I probably shouldn't agree with that statement. God gives us life, only he should be the one to take it away, but at times like this...'' Harriet said. ''You need to keep an even closer eye on Aaron now, Robert.''

''Do you think he'll hurt himself?''

''Abuse survivors often regret revealing what happened to them,'' Harriet warned. ''They fear they'll be judged or pitied and they look for a way out.''

''I'll alert the officers on the wing and put Aaron on suicide watch.'' Truth be told Robert harboured those exact concerns himself.

''Robert...'' Harriet stopped Robert as he made his way to leave. ''You should be proud that Aaron opened up and trusted you. You clearly have a connection with him.''

Robert was unable to suppress the corners of his mouth turning upward at the mere mention of his and Aaron's connection. The world had no idea how drawn to Aaron he had become. His and Aaron's connection had been magnetic from the day they met. They were drawn to one another and no force could drive them apart.

''I'm just glad he felt able to talk to me and get it off his chest.''

''Not all officers are so protective. I hope you'd be like that for all inmates in your charge.''

...............................

Robert had called all the staff on his wing into his office for a briefing and after going through the usual aspects such as new arrivals, inmates in solitary, changes or maintenance to be carried out on the wing Robert broached the subject of Aaron. He knew Aaron would loathe to be a focal point of a meeting and Robert had debated on whether to put a suicide watch order in place, but Harriet's warning rung like a bell and if it categorically ensured Aaron's well being then it was worth Aaron being miffed at him for a short spell.

''The final thing on today's agenda is prisoner Dingle. From now on until I say otherwise I want him on suicide watch. 15 minute intervals please. Fenwick can you ensure those orders are carried over to the night shift during the handover?''

''Absolutely,'' Fenwick confirmed.

''Why?'' Officer Murphy piped up.

''Why what?'' Robert queried with a snap. After Murphy's heavy handed treatment of Aaron the previous day he had very little time for the officer. The man had delved further into his bad books that morning when the incident was discussed and Robert gave him a written warning that would be added to his record. That hadn't gone down well, but Robert stood firm and reiterated a zero tolerance policy when it came to violence toward the inmates.

''Why is Dingle on suicide watch?''

''Because I said so.'' Robert was getting sick and tired of the mans attitude. He had been in corrections for many years and Robert had heard on the grapevine that his promotion to wing governor hadn't sat well with Officer Murphy in the slightest.

''So we don't even get to know why the guy might top himself?''

''No because it's none of your business,'' Robert barked with his temper flaring. ''All you get to know is that he's having a tough time. Does anyone have a problem with that?''

''No sir.'' Came the chorus of replies.

Robert ended the meeting and dismissed his colleagues. As they filtered through the office door Murphy spoke up once more, ''who cares if he tops himself anyway?''

''What did you say?'' Before he could stop himself Robert was striding with a purpose and had taken Murphy by the scruff of the neck. ''What the fuck did you say?''

Fenwick and others officers tried to pry him off to no avail. Robert was livid and slammed the man hard against the nearest wall in a carbon copy of the way Murphy had manhandled Aaron.

''You are skating on seriously thin ice, Murphy!'' Robert warned. If he could fire him on the spot he would, but he knew full well Murphy would run to Lawrence and as deplorable as his actions had been it wouldn't be enough to warrant sacking him. Lawrence and the board wouldn't allow it, but it didn't mean Robert couldn't threaten to end his career. ''If I hear you say anything like that again I will fire you! Have you got that?''

Murphy merely nodded practically shaking in his boots as he remained pinned against the wall with a fuming Robert standing in front of him.

''I said have you got that?!'' Robert bellowed demanding comprehension from the man.

''Yes, sir.''

Robert released his grip yet still stared Murphy down. ''Get the hell out of my sight!'' As Murphy scarpered Robert hoped the message was clear; don't touch Aaron or talk about Aaron in that manner ever again.

......................................

''I'm so proud of you,'' Robert whispered against Aaron's lips.

''Couldn't have done it without you.'' Without Robert Aaron would still be dwelling in the shadows of his past. And whilst they still lingered there was now blinding beams of light in his life.

''I've spent most of the day looking into the appeal procedure,'' Robert said, but halted when he saw the dejected look on Aaron's face. ''What is it?''

''I appreciate you doing all that, but I'm gonna need a great lawyer and that costs money. Money that I don't have.'' Aaron hated admitting a weakness, especially one as embarrassing as being broke. He barely had any money to his name.

''That's why I'm paying.''

''What? No! I can't let you do that!'' Aaron argued. Despite the need for money he didn't want charity or to take a handout.

''I want too,'' Robert persisted. ''I've got a nice sum of money stashed away from when I got made redundant that I can use. It's just sitting there.''

''Why would you waste your money on me?''

''Because I've fallen for you, you idiot!'' Robert stroked the back of his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. ''You shouldn't be in here, Aaron. You deserve to be out there. With me.''

''I don't wanna sound ungrateful...''

''So don't,'' Robert interjected with a smirk. ''If it bothers you that much think of it as a loan. You can pay me back when you're out.''

Warmth spread through Aaron's entire being at the sentiment. Not to mention the inference that Robert would be there with him on the outside. ''I will pay you back.''

Aaron brought their lips together trying to pour every ounce of emotion, affection and passion that bubbled inside. He pushed at Robert's chest until he was flat and stretched out across the length of the couch. He unbuttoned the blue shirt exposing soft pale skin and he kissed up to Robert's jaw. Heat pooled in green eyes as Aaron worked on the leather of Robert's belt. Robert soon laid bare as his jeans and boxers were cast aside and Aaron marvelled at the blonde Adonis' lean and gorgeous body spread out underneath his finger tips.

''You okay?'' Robert sat up alarmed at the pause in Aaron's actions. ''Do you wanna stop?''

Aaron smiled and kissed him feverishly. ''No, I just got caught up looking at you.''

''I'm kinda feeling a little lonely here when your fully dressed,'' Robert mumbled into the crook of his neck as he mouthed at Aaron's skin. ''I wanna see you.''

Aaron reared back into Robert's lap and lifted the hem of his shirt and jumper and removed them all in one flourish. Robert's fingers skimmed over his skin the moment it was exposed like a moth drawn to flame. His jeans and boxers were next and soon their naked bodies were pressed together from head to toe. Hands reverently touched and grasped at skin, bone and muscle, attempting to memorise every contour and ridge. They had to make the most of every moment together as they came so few and far between and Aaron was constantly afraid that the dream would end. That Robert would slip away and he wanted to commit every facet of the man to memory before it happened.

Their skin tingled and gasps fell as Aaron rolled his hips pushing their erections through his fist, their kisses turned wet, lazy and sloppy. Tongues clashed fiercely as their bodies turned hot as the fire ignited between them.

''Fuck me,'' Aaron moaned, ''Rob...please?''

Robert swallowed hard caught between lust and hesitation. ''Are you sure? I don't want...''

''I'm more than sure,'' Aaron grinned biting at his bottom lip knowing full well that it always turned his boyfriend on. ''I've wanted to for a while now.''

Robert placed a bruising kiss to Aaron's lip before rooting around in his desk and finding the lube he had stashed in the bottom drawer. ''Shit! I'm not sure I've got any condoms.''

Looking around the mess of clothes scattered around the room he finally located his jacket and produced his wallet. He grinned at Aaron as he found one crumpled in his wallet.

''You been expecting this, Sugden?'' Aaron joked.

''To be honest I forgot it was in there,'' Robert kissed him as he returned to the couch, resting on his knees between Aaron's thick thighs. ''And no I haven't been expecting it. May have thought about it once or twice though.''

''What are you waiting for then?''

Robert delayed further with the condom wrapper torn within his hand. ''Are you sure?''

Aaron snatched the condom and pulled Robert on top of him. ''Yes, I swear to you I'm sure. I'm ready. I want this. I want you.''

Aaron unfurled the condom down Robert's thick shaft relishing the hitch in his lovers breath as he jerked his cock lightly. Aaron grabbed the lube, ran a slick digit around his puckered entrance eyes fixed on Robert as he slipped it inside. Robert's eyes were wide, pupils blown as he watched Aaron finger himself, one digit turning into two, with a third joining soon after. Robert's body thrummed with excitement and he felt embarrassingly close to cumming then and there with only a single tug on his throbbing manhood.

''You're so gorgeous,'' Robert sighed as Aaron removed his fingers and wrapped his delicious legs around his slim waist. His hands rippled the skin over Aaron's thighs, appreciating the muscle beneath his palms before pushing them back toward Aaron's chest to reveal his pink inviting hole.

Striping his dick with a generous helping of lube Robert pushed and the head of his cock sunk into tight warm heat that made his eyes roll into the back of his skull. He started with shallow thrusts until he finally bottomed out with his balls resting against the curve of Aaron's ass. He kissed over the lines on Aaron's forehead as his lover got accustomed to the intrusion.

''Feels good,'' Aaron revealed in a breathy gasp. ''You can move.''

With Aaron's instruction Robert started to roll his hips, the motion slow but steadily picking up speed. Aaron began letting out stuttered breaths, gasps and moans which encouraged Robert until he was driving his entire length into Aaron on every inward stroke. Aaron licked at his palm and curled his fingers around his rock hard dick. His arousal was in full flight. A dribble of precum from the tip had left a trail over the sparse hairs that led from his belly button down to his crotch.

''Fuck, Rob!''

''Shit. Fuck!''

Sex had never been a meaningful experience to Robert all that much. It had always been enjoyable of course. He felt the rush of endorphin's and the excitement throughout his body but it had lacked _this_. He had numerous sexual partners in his past, both male and female, but the act had never been associated with such emotion. Sex with Aaron felt so vastly different. He felt so connected to Aaron. Seeing the blue in Aaron's lust dazed eyes turn vibrant as they fixated on him turned his spine to jelly and his toes curled as the heat pooled in his stomach. Aaron's blissed out features made his heart pound as if it was about to burst out of his chest. It wasn't lost on him that it was much more than just sex between them.

Aaron moaned pushing back into Robert's accurate thrusts. It brushed his prostate and sent shock waves of pleasure straight to his dick. His thighs constricted tighter around Robert and the pace on his own dick turned frenetic as he felt his orgasm simmer. Robert fell forward, his guttural moans ghosting over his ear and the new angle created even more friction against his spot. It tipped him over the edge. He bit at Robert's collarbone as his vision flashed white. He moaned Robert's name into his lovers sweat slicked skin as his cum erupted between them.

Feeling Aaron cum and clench even tighter around his throbbing cock pushed Robert to boiling point. He kissed, licked and sucked at Aaron's bearded jawline all the while cursing into the wind as he climaxed. With stuttered thrusts he pushed into Aaron throughout his climax before collapsing on top of his boyfriends chest utterly spent.

Both men basked in the afterglow. The only sound the huffs of their breathing slowly returning to normal. Robert's rapidly softening dick slipped out and Aaron keened at the loss. Sex had never felt that good. With Jackson it was all so new. It was all cautious hands and trepidation around a new experience. With Ed he held more confidence, but they always lacked that spark and chemistry. With Robert he finally felt as though he had discovered what the big deal about sex really was. Their bodies molded together perfectly. They had precise synchronicity. They read each others bodies like a well worn paper back book.

Aaron brushed a hand through Robert's golden locks, cradling his head to his chest. ''That was amazing.''

''Glad you enjoyed yourself,'' Robert chuckled whilst peppering kisses over Aaron's damp skin, the taste of salt and sweat on his tongue.

''Like you didn't? Thought I was gonna have to gag you for a second,'' Aaron joked.

Robert pecked Aaron on the lips and bestowed him with the most beautiful smile. ''I was showing my appreciation for the best shag of my life.''

''That good, huh?''

''We're that good,'' Robert smirked with confidence. He turned thoughtful once more stroking a thumb across Aaron's flushed red cheek. ''No regrets?''

Aaron glowed at Robert's protective nature. It was something he was so unaccustomed to. However in this case it was completely unnecessary and he wanted to put his boyfriend's mind at ease. ''I'm more than okay. I'm the best I've ever been. And after a fuck that good... definitely no regrets.''

Trusting in Robert and telling him the truth had been a catharsis. Releasing that secret had made him breathe easier. A terrible weight that he had carried for far too long had lightened.

The dam had exploded and the deluge of water rushed free the moment he broke down in Robert's arms. But instead of being carried along by the force of the current and dragged beneath the surface to drown in its depths he remained still letting the water rush on by. Afloat. Anchored.

Tough times were still ahead that much was clear. However Aaron knew that it would be alright if he stumbled because Robert would be there beside him every step of the way. Robert kept him alive. Robert helped him be ready to fight for his freedom.

Robert was his anchor.

..................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the early preparations of an appeal have been set in motion! Aaron and Robert's relationship goes from strength to strength and they took the next step in their relationship!
> 
> Hope you liked it and thank you for reading!
> 
> If you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	17. Building Bridges, Burning Bridges

 

 

Aaron's palms were clammy. His legs bounced constantly. His teeth gnawed at another finger nail. The nervous energy spilled over as he waited anxiously for the arrival of the lawyer that taken up his case. It would be the first time that he'd get a legal perspective on the chances of gaining his freedom. Or at the very least his sentence dramatically reduced.

In the days leading up to the meeting and with his anxiety levels rising Robert had been his rock. Talked him off ledges and also kept his feet on the ground. When his pessimism reared its ugly head and he questioned why they were bothering Robert reminded him of why he was fighting, that he deserved to be and free and not be beaten by Gordon. In the next breath Robert had to remind him to not get too far ahead of himself as he dreamt of going to Las Vegas, buying a car and getting a dog. He was thankful Robert was there. That Robert kept him tethered and didn't let him get swept away in the violent winds that swirled in his own head.

The nervous energy radiating from Aaron never went by unnoticed for Robert. His chest swelled at how much they had learnt about one another. Not just the big things, the life changing moments in each other lives, but the small details that most would think of being insignificant. The type of things that neither man had to vocalise, but they silently picked up on along the way like Aaron's tendency to gnaw at his nails until they were painfully short and bled. Robert gently pulled Aaron's hand away from his mouth and replaced it with his lips in a short, chaste kiss.

''It'll be fine,'' Robert reminded him again. He wish he could give Aaron guarantees. That he could promise Aaron that months down the line he would be released from HMP Hotten and that they could embark on a life together out of this place, but he couldn't give him false hope. Truth be told he couldn't give himself it either. There were no guarantees when it came to the so called justice system.

Robert placed a hand around the nape of Aaron's neck, fingers stroking through the shorn hairs and pressed their foreheads together. Aaron clutched onto his arms, taking a deep breath and willing his body to be still and peaceful.

A sharp knocked sounded and they broke apart as it opened and a tall brunette woman appeared along with an escorting officer. Her heels clicked against the ground as she shook their hands and introduced herself as Francesca Snow. She wore a sharp jet black pant suit and had an edge to her that Robert translated as being a force to be reckoned with. He did hire her for that very reason. He had undergone extensive research into acquiring the very best lawyer for Aaron. He wanted to leave nothing to chance. If Aaron had the best attorney, he stood the best chance of gaining his deserved freedom.

After the initial formalities of introductions were out of the way Miss Snow reeled off her credentials. A well renowned barrister that had participated in many high profile cases. She specialised particularly in appeals and overturning convictions of innocent men and women. Snow had been practicing law now for nearly a decade, her experience evident and despite the need of keeping expectations low Robert couldn't help but feel a slither of confidence rise up in his gut. His eyes fell on Aaron and he felt that feeling in his chest again as he lost himself in the future he desired with the man sat next to him.

Then Snow turned her attention to the argument that she would build. Robert had informed her vaguely of the situation during their initial telephone conversation, but now she needed the information first hand and documented. Aaron's bravery once again shone through as he relived that night and Gordon's abuse. Miss Snow was understanding and considerate, giving Aaron all the time he needed, never rushing or pressuring him.

Once Aaron had recounted the entire events that had turned his life into a living nightmare Miss Snow stopped writing down notes and looked Aaron straight in the eye. ''I'm going to be extremely honest with you, Aaron, because there's been such a sizeable gap between you being convicted and launching this appeal we're going to have a battle on our hands. Ultimately the defense will use it and turn it into you lying about your father to get a lighter sentence.''

''But it's the truth,'' Aaron said defensively, ''I wasn't ready back then, now I am.''

''I understand that I just want you to have all the facts. For you to be going into this with open eyes. They will do all they can to discredit you. To challenge your version of events.''

''What do you mean my version? That's what happened! You think I'd lie?'' Aaron snapped, wasn't this woman supposedly on his side? If she had that outlook then what chance would he stand in front of the judge and defense!

Miss Snow held her hands aloft in placation and looked from Aaron to Robert and back again. ''This is what the prosecution are going to do, Aaron. They're going to try and push your buttons. They'll antagonise, call you a liar, challenge you at every turn! You cannot rise to it!''

''She's right,'' Robert spoke softly trying to remain a source of comfort without giving it through their usual method: touch. It had become so much harder to rein in the affectionate tendencies that had developed between him and Aaron. They could indulge when alone in his office, but they had to be mindful and cautious elsewhere.

''Sorry,'' Aaron swallowed down his anger realising both individuals were right. The last thing that needed to happen was for him to show his anger. They'd write him off instantly as a violent thug who belong behind bars.

''It's okay, it's better we get all of this out now,'' Snow smiled warmly. ''I will file the appeal motion as soon as possible, but we need to present the strongest case we can. Firstly I will write up a statement for you to sign at my next visit. You can read through it, amend or add anything and then we'll move forward from there, okay?''

''Sounds good,'' Aaron stood and shook the woman's hand as she left. Once alone Robert cuddled him close and kissed him on the cheek. ''She seems to be a great lawyer. Must be costing you a fortune though.''

''I told you don't worry about any of that. You just need to focus on the appeal and that's it! Leave the rest to me.'' Robert knew Aaron hated being reliant, and he had numerous times told Aaron that he wasn't being taken advantage of and that he wanted to help.

''Does she know you're the one paying her fee? I mean won't that look a little suspicious?''

''I haven't used money from my personal bank account. I've used my old business account that has just been sitting there. So unless someone digs around she'll assume it's money owned by you or your family. And if anyone asks tell them a relative has chipped in and they work for a firm called Portal Industries.'' Robert had already thought ahead far enough to create a cover story. The last thing Aaron needed was to concern himself with their relationship being uncovered due to the lawyer he'd hired.

''Are you sure you can afford it?''

''I'm positive.'' Robert smiled as held his lovers hips and Aaron's arms draped around his neck. ''In fact I've been meaning to tell you for a few days now, but I wanted to get the meeting out of the way first, an investment opportunity came my way years ago back when I still lived in London and it came through big time.'' Robert smirked, the pay out was a shock, but couldn't have come at a better time. Plus Aaron could now stop fretting about the money situation because he had it to burn.

''Seriously?''

''To be honest I had forgotten all about it, but now we have no money worries concerning your appeal costs and I can finally leave the hotel and buy a place to live.''

''Are you kidding?'' Aaron smiled full of relief. He still had every intention of paying Robert back, but knowing he wouldn't leave Robert in debt or struggling to get by was a weight off his mind. ''If you don't mind me asking how much?''

''350k,'' Robert grinned. ''I can finally get an amazing car and ditch that ran down old corsa too.''

Robert hated that damn Corsa. Had routinely bitched about it to Aaron as they were both car enthusiasts. He could barely fit his gangly legs in comfortably. He was crushed inside it and felt like a jack in a box! And the novelty of living in a hotel room had worn off long ago. His options had been severely limited when it came to housing, but with the amount of money he had sitting in the bank now they were practically limitless. Robert was looking forward to all the new things coming his way, he just hoped Aaron would be there to enjoy them with him.

...............................

Sessions with Harriet had become almost easy for Aaron now. The nerves and worry had vanished now that he had revealed what he had tried so hard to hide. The hours spent with Harriet were therapeutic. Despite severe misgivings and cynicism about talking ever helping he found counselling a useful tool. Not only in accepting his dark past and moving forward from it, but it also helped in thinking ahead and forging some kind of path for his future.

''How are you feeling after seeing your lawyer?''

''I dunno. I guess it's just made it all seem real, you know?'' Aaron still struggled to comprehend how fast his life had changed. He had accepted his grim fate and then Robert turned his world upside and now he could be on the precipice of being released from prison. There was so much to take on board.

''Do you feel overwhelmed?''

''A little,'' Aaron admitted. ''But I wanna get out of here. I wanna fight for that.''

''You deserve to be out of here, Aaron, that's what you have to hold on to.'' Harriet urged. ''I know talking about it has never worked out all that well in our sessions, but if there is something that you want in your future any time you have doubts or you feel your anxiety is controlling you cling to that. Don't forget it. Fight for it.''

One thing flashed into vision; _Robert._

''Have you thought about contacting your family anymore?'' Harriet was well aware that it was a sore spot for Aaron, but he needed a support network and his family could be a vital fixture. They could be there for Aaron not only throughout the appeal, but if it's successful they could be there for Aaron on the outside.

''Not really,'' Aaron fibbed. His family was a constant source of concern, anxiety, and hope all rolled into one. ''I'm worried about my mum and my family finding out somehow...''

''That you're appealing?'' Harriet's query was answered with a nod. ''It may be circulated in the local press. I really think you should try and contact your mum. Or maybe a different relative? Your Uncle Cain?''

''I'm scared. What if they don't believe me? My mum hung on his every word.''

''Isn't it worth trying at least?''

''What so I can be disowned again? My mum will win some sort of record amount of times she's left me.'' It still hurt. Chas had left him as a boy and it took years for that wound to heal. For her to do it again and during the darkest moment of his life was a kick in the teeth that he wasn't sure he could ever forgive.

''You've been burnt before, but maybe this time will be different if she understands the circumstances. You won't know unless you try, Aaron.''

Harriet was persistent and Aaron was certain she had good intentions, but he just didn't think he was able to take that leap of faith. In an attempt to deflect the conversation Aaron agreed to at least consider it.

''Do you feel as though a weights been lifted since you told Mr. Sugden and I?''

''Yeah, I do,'' To be honest that felt like a colossal understatement. He wondered if he'd feel regret about revealing the truth of what happened to him, but so far he felt like he could finally breathe. That he could live. ''I carried it with me so long and I was so tired. You were right I couldn't let it eat me up anymore.''

''And Mr. Sugden's been supportive?''

''Of course!'' Aaron replied in an instant. Robert had been more than just supportive. He had been his rock. He had kept him standing. Had made him feel safe. ''I couldn't have done it without him. He's been amazing.''

''You mentioned that you started these sessions because you promised someone to attend was that person Mr. Sugden?''

''Yes, he'd supported me, he stuck his neck out for me with the Governor and I felt I owed him. I wouldn't be here without him.'' Aaron couldn't keep the affection from his tone. Words could never do justice to what he felt inside when it came to Robert Jacob Sugden.

''And now?''

''And now I definitely still did it for him, but along the way I realised I've done it for myself too.''

...........................

Robert entered Aaron's cell to find his boyfriend hunched over the small table with a look of frustration etched into features and creased up balls of paper littering the floor. ''What's all this?'' Robert asked as he gestured toward the mess.

''I was trying to write a letter to mum,'' Aaron mumbled. ''I can't do it. Everything I write sounds wrong. How am I supposed to tell her through a letter?''

Robert perched on the edge of the desk placing a hand on Aaron's tense shoulder. ''Don't tell her. Just ask her to come visit instead. Maybe telling her face to face is a better option than pouring it all into a letter.''

''There's no point.''

''Of course there is,'' Robert stood up, ''I'll go and get you a VO to fill out.''

''Rob, don't!'' Aaron pleaded. ''I've sent her visitor orders before, I've sent letters and every time I hear nothing back. She just ignores them all.''

It stung knowing that Chas hated him and blamed him. That all the letter sent probably ended up being unread and ripped into pieces. The wounds of her abandoning him as a kid had reopened and every time he got no response it poured more salt into the gaping and bloodied wound.

''It won't hurt to try again...''

''I can't,'' Aaron interjected. Chas had made herself perfectly clear. Aaron sniffled and rubbed his eyes to keep the tears at bay with his sleeve.

''You can, Aaron,'' Robert urged. ''You told me. You told Harriet. You've been so brave and this is just another step.''

''No,'' Aaron declared resolutely. ''If I'm doing this it's without my family. I'm doing it alone.''

''No you're not.'' Robert hugged him tightly chin resting on top of Aaron's head as the younger man buried his face into the crook of his neck. ''You've got me.''

.................................

The crumpled piece of paper flapped around in the bracing winds between Robert's fingers. The winter freeze had really taken the country in its grip as the year rolled into the month of December. The air had a bite to it and Robert pulled his coat tighter and tugged at his scarf to protect his face from the chill. He checked the address scribbled down one more time. He'd definitely found the correct place. He shoved the scrap paper into his pocket and headed toward the front door. He knocked hard. A faint noise of voices and merriment was just about audible to his ears. No answer came so he pounded on the door with his fist, his hand stinging due to the force and the frost that was already forming early into the nightfall.

The door suddenly flung open, ''Yes?'' A woman asked sharply.

''Are you Chas Dingle?''

''Depends. Who's asking?'' The woman replied coyly, looking Robert up and down suspiciously.

''My name's Robert, I'm a friend of your sons.''

''I don't have a son,'' she replied as she moved to slam the door in his face.

Robert stuck his foot out blocking the attempt. It was clear to him from her visceral reaction that he had successfully found Aaron's mother. ''Please, Aaron needs to see you.''

''Well I don't wanna see him! He killed his own father! He's more trouble than he's worth!''

''I know what he did!'' Robert fought to keep a grip on his anger. Seeing Chas' anger directed at completely the wrong person made him seethe. He wanted to tell Chas the truth then and there, but it wasn't his place. It had to come from Aaron. ''Look I understand that you don't want to see him, but there's more to the story than you know.''

''Has he put you up to this?'' Chas barked. ''Who the hell are you anyway?!''

''No, he doesn't know I'm here! Listen Aaron isn't a cold blooded killer...'' Robert revealed albeit vaguely. All the while trying to dodge any probing questions at to his identity.

''He plead guilty. He admitted to killing Gordon. So leave me alone, and tell Aaron to do the same.''

''You've abandoned him twice already!'' Robert yelled just before the door slammed shut in his face. His words stopped Chas in her tracks. ''Are you really going to let him down again?''

''How dare you!'' Chas stepped outside the house clearly riled.

Robert knew he had struck a nerve and the last thing he wanted was to make Chas angry and even more determined to stay away and forget all about Aaron. ''He needs his family, Chas. He needs you. He needs his mum. Please just go and see him. An hour visit is all he wants.''

Robert walked back to his car before he burnt the bridge irrevocaby. It was already severely weakened with the ropes and wood already scorched and close to snapping and plummetting to the ground. His heart sank as he believed he'd let Aaron down. Before he could unlock the car door he heard heels clacking against the pavement behind him.

''I'll go,'' Chas agreed. ''But it will be the last time. So you tell Aaron to make sure he says all that needs to be said because I won't be going back.''

Robert watched her leave and disappear into the Woolpack pub that he remembered Aaron saying he lived in before being sent down. He looked around the other surroundings that used to be Aaron's stomping ground. He could picture Aaron walking down the roads, sitting on a bench outside the pub with a beer in hand. Robert's feet started moving almost of their own accord and they carried him into the heart of the tiny village. Along the way he saw a cafe, a shop and off in the distance a church.

Robert looked in all directions before he finally found the Dingle & Dingle Auto-motives. He wandered down the path, the gravel crunching underfoot. He envisioned Aaron with overalls on, tied around his waist and slung low on his hips. He was certain he'd enjoy the view of Aaron bent over the hood of a car, biceps bulging with sweat on his brow as he worked.

A right dirty little grease monkey.

Robert realised he probably looked suspicious loitering around the village at night and hastily retraced his steps back toward his car, but something in the distance caught his eye. A sign bathed in light from a street lamp above. He approached and looked at what stood in front of him. It needed work. A lot of it. And it wouldn't be cheap. He inputted the contact information into his phone with every intention of calling in the morning. Once again he returned to his vehicle, but couldn't help himself from taking one final glance back over his shoulder.

**_Home for Sale._ **

...............................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chas has finally arrived! But will Aaron be able to tell her the truth about Gordon? Would she even believe him? And what exactly did Robert have his eye on in the village? :P
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	18. The Key

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continued support. Every comment, kudos, hit means so much <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter...Christmas has arrived at HMP Hotten!

 

 

''What are you doing for Christmas?'' Aaron asked as he attempted to stifle another yawn, all the while burying himself deeper into Robert's chest and warmth. His eyes had been feeling progressively heavy since the moment they led down on his tiny bunk. The single bed was far too small for both of their respective bodies, especially Robert's whose taller frame dangled off the edge.

''I'll be here with you,'' Robert mumbled into Aaron's damp curls. Aaron's hair still hadn't dried fully from his shower before lock-up and Robert adored the scent on his lovers hair and skin.

''That's quite the comedown from the posh dinners, being waited on hand and foot, and the expensive gifts with the Whites, huh?'' Aaron voice was sleep soft, on the edge of slipping into a slumber as Robert's long, thin fingers stroked through his hair soothingly.

''Trust me I won't be missing that at all,'' Robert declared. ''Chrissie would always want to jet off to somewhere hot for Christmas with a bunch of socialites so they could all brag about the expensive gifts they've given and received. I hated it.''

Aaron's face screwed up at Robert's description of his last few holiday seasons. ''Why would she wanna go somewhere hot?''

''Exactly what I always said!'' Robert agreed. ''Christmas should be cold with snow covering fields as far as you can see.''

''You're sounding like a right country farm boy,'' Aaron jested and then laughed when Robert cuffed him playfully around the back of the head. ''Is it even meant to snow this year?''

''Not a clue, but Christmas should at the very least be cold,'' Robert maintained with gusto. The conversation lapsed and both found themselves sinking closer and closer to falling asleep. Robert knew he couldn't chance it and untangled himself from Aaron's limbs to leave his boyfriend for the night. ''Still nervous about your mum visiting on Christmas Eve?''

Aaron's tired eyes flickered open to see Robert crouched at his bedside. ''Yeah, I'm nervous. Still trying to figure out what to say. How to say it.''

When Robert had told him about his visit to Emmerdale village Aaron wasn't happy. Robert attempted to reason with him, but for the first time since they officially got together there was tension between them. Typically it would be his family that created it. The one thing the Dingle family were good at was creating tension. Well that and scams. And the odd crime.

Hours later the tension had evaporated as Robert explained that he was only trying to help and Aaron knew that all along deep down. He appreciated Robert's efforts. It made him fall for Robert more and he didn't even think that was possible. His sessions with Harriet had obviously paid off because Aaron came to the realisation that his anger toward Robert wasn't directed at him at all. In fact it wasn't a manifestation of anger in the first place. It was anxiety and trepidation running to the forefront due to being on the cusp of bearing all to his mum. He'd been so frightened of his mum and family finding out about the abuse and now he would have to face that fear head on.

Guilt gnawed away for blaming Robert and lashing out at him. He apologised to his lover and was so grateful to the man for once again sticking his neck on the block for him. Robert took risk after risk. The rope could fray and snap without notice. One foot wrong and the guillotine could crash down. He made it up to Robert the next time they had ample time alone in his office together giving the best blow job of Robert's life. An accolade Robert bestowed upon him.

''Just tell the truth. Don't beat around the bush. You don't want to stew on it and back out. Get it out the way.''

''Good idea,'' Aaron rubbed a thumb over Robert's cheek always in awe of how gorgeous he was. Occasionally he'd find himself in disbelief that Robert was his. That the man wanted to be with him. ''Ya know I can't remember the last good Christmas I had. Not even sure I ever had one.''

Robert bent over him and kissed his cheek. ''Get some sleep,'' Robert whispered and placed another kiss to Aaron's forehead as Aaron's eyes fell shut.

''Night, Rob,'' Aaron mumbled as he gave in and drifted off.

''Night, Aaron.'' Robert locked the door as quietly as possible and with practiced caution left E-wing undetected. Aaron's words of never having a good Christmas travelled with him and he couldn't stop smiling knowing he had very special plans for Aaron to change all that.

............................

Palpable tension hung heavy and thick as Chas sat across from Aaron. The deterioration of their relationship had broken Aaron's heart. For so long all he had wished for was a family. A group of people who would love him, protect him and accept him. He had all that for a short time until Gordon took it all away.

Gordon took his mum away. The woman that sat across from him wasn't the same woman who he lived with back in Emmerdale. The woman that fought to get to know him. That was proud of him for coming out. That supported him through Jackson and the guilt he carried. That threatened to cut herself to get him to stop. His mum was gone. Instead Chas looked at him as if he were a stranger. He was confronted by ice and daggers that chilled and stabbed him painfully in the heart.

Robert had eased Aaron's panic on his usual early morning visit telling him he'd organised a private visiting room which was a relief to know no prying eyes would be watching. And no eavesdropping could take place either. Any overheard conversation spread like wildfire in HMP Hotten and that was the very last thing Aaron needed to worry about under the circumstances.

''Well you've got me here so say whatever it is you're so desperate for me to hear,'' Chas sneered having no intention of playing the dutiful mother. As far as she was concerned the little boy she had was long gone. The man that sat opposite she couldn't even recognise.

With the words still lodged in his throat he remembered Robert's advice. To just spit it out. Force the words out in any manner he could and go from there. ''Gordon tried to rape me.'' The words rushed out without finesse. Without any warning. Without easing into it.

Chas let out a mirthful chuckle then her face rapidly fell as she read the truth written all over her sons face. ''What?''

''The night I killed him he tried to rape me,'' Aaron took a sharp breath. His heart felt as if were about to explode from his chest. His mouth ran dry as he battled to force the words out. ''It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time I fought back. I couldn't all the times before.''

''Before?'' Chas felt numb. The world she thought she knew and understood shattered like glass in front of her very face. Bile fizzed in her throat and she tried to swallow down the need to vomit as a nightmare began and the horror unfolded.

''Soon after you left us I was getting into trouble all the time. I'd been playing up for weeks; answering him back, picking fights, not going to school but he was still just dad. Life was normal. Then he lost his job. He came home one night and he was so angry. He started shouting at me and sent me to bed really early. I tried to sleep, but I kept hearing him smashing things and yelling. I tried to ignore it and go to sleep, but then I heard my door creak open. I remember him standing there for ages just staring.''

Aaron's body heaved as he sobbed, his tears running, dripping from his chin to the table beneath. He couldn't bare to look up and see her face. Frightened of her reaction. Scared she'd brand him a liar. That she wouldn't believe a word he said. Then he felt two hands holding his. Squeezing firm and tight. He looked up to see his mothers eyes how they used to be; familiar, caring, safe.

''He told me it was my was all my fault and that I needed to learn a lesson. I needed to be punished,'' Aaron stuttered and cried. ''I told him it hurt. That I wanted him to stop, but he didn't listen. He never listened.''

''Sshhhhh,'' He heard the chair scrape and then he was in his mums arms and being cradled as she held his face. ''It's alright love, it's okay. He can't hurt you now.''

''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.''

Chas held his face in her hands and looked right at him. ''No! You have nothing to be sorry for, do you hear me? Nothing!'' Chas held him tighter never wanting to let go of her little boy as her guilt ate her alive from the inside. ''I'm sorry. I am so sorry. We'll make this right. I promise you, I'll make this right.''

Once the shock and the emotions calmed slightly Chas wiped away his tears while trying to quell her own. Seeing her son so broken broke her heart. She blamed herself on how she didn't know. How she didn't see any warning signs. Why she didn't ask Aaron why he was so against Gordon being back in their lives.

''I should've tried harder. You were so adamant that you didn't want him back in our lives and I didn't listen. To wrapped up in my flaming self as per usual.''

''No mum, don't blame yourself,'' Aaron begged. He couldn't stand her having Gordon's actions on her conscience. ''It's not your fault. It's not mine. It's his. Just his.''

''Why now?'' Chas asked. ''Why have you told me now and not back then?''

''I couldn't back then. I'd never dealt with it. I wanted to bury it. I thought I had and then he shows up. I told someone I trust. They persuaded me to go to counselling and it helped.''

''You shouldn't be in here, love,'' Chas stated immediately realising her son didn't deserve to be incarcerated. ''You need to tell the police or something. We need to appeal.''

''I am. That's one of the reasons I told you. I didn't want you or anyone else in the family finding out if it got in the papers,'' Aaron explained. ''I've got a lawyer on the case. She thinks I stand a chance of getting my sentence reduced at the least.''

''How can you afford that?''

''I've got someone who's helping me,'' Aaron answered vaguely. He knew Robert hadn't revealed his identity to Chas when he went to the village and Robert was taking a big enough risk as it was for Aaron to just drop him in it.

''That bloke who told me to visit, is it him?''

Aaron had forgotten that his mum wasn't easy to pull the wool over her eyes. Naturally she connected the dots. ''Yeah, he's helping.''

''Who is he?''

''Can we save that for another conversation?'' Aaron wanted to tell her the truth. Robert had done so much for him. Meant so much that sometimes Aaron wanted to scream it from the rooftops that he had fallen for Robert Sugden. But now wasn't the time. ''It's been difficult enough visit already.''

Chas nodded agreeing to let the subject drop, but her inquisitive mind was desperate to know. Many theories were coming together in her head, but for now her only concern was the well being of her son. ''You're so brave. All this time...what do you want me to tell the others?''

Aaron had been solely focused on telling Chas that the rest of the family had barely entered his mind. One thing was certain he couldn't go through telling anyone again. ''Tell 'em.''

''Are you sure? We can wait until your out.''

''They'll only ask questions. It's time they knew.''

''Okay. I know I don't deserve it but would you mind if I visited more?''

Aaron smiled. ''Of course not. I can see you every fortnight if you want.''

''I'll be here,'' Chas squeezed him tight, almost too tight as an officer came in and informed them visiting was over. 'I'll see you soon.''

Aaron waved back at Chas as she was escorted out of the visiting area. He turned to head back to the wing a heavy sense of relief, but was halted as he tried to leave by Officer Murphy and two other PO's who had been supervising the visits.

''Take this one to be stripped searched.''

''No way!'' Aaron argued. ''I haven't done anything!''

''Oh well by all means carry on,'' Murphy laughed in his face and grabbed Aaron and shoved him into a room just off the main corridor to visiting. The door slammed shut behind him and he stood facing Murphy and another male officer. ''You know the drill, Dingle.''

Aaron made no move to comply. With his lack of visits during his stint in HMP Hotten Aaron had dodged the indignity of a strip search, apart from the mandatory on first arrival. Murphy took a rough hold of his arms and slung him into the center of the room.

''Strip now, Dingle.''

''You get off on making men strip, do ya?'' Aaron snarled.

''That's rich coming from a faggot!''

''Yeah, I'd only wanna stare at the hot ones though. Not ugly bastards like you.''

Murphy lunged at him and slung him to the floor. The tussle attracting attention from outside. Other officers barrelled through the door with Murphy instantly telling them Aaron was disobeying an order. Not one of the PO's dared to defy Murphy and they slowly slunk out the room much to Aaron's horror. He knew he wasn't going to get out of this room and panic rose at the thought of being forced to strip. Flashbacks haunted his present and his heart raced and he couldn't catch a breath. His dad's voice echoed all around him. The smell of alcohol filled his nostrils.

Before the door closed he heard _his_ voice. With dazed vision obscured further with unshed tears he saw _him_ in the doorway.  _His anchor._

''What the hell is going on?'' Robert demanded.

''I've pulled this inmate for strip search and he is defying the order. He's got contraband, sir.'' Murphy stated.

''Dingle back to your cell,'' Robert decreed. Murphy attempted to argue but a glare from Robert shut his mouth. Once Aaron left with an escorting officer Robert let rip. ''What on earth are you playing at, Murphy? Dingle just had a visit with his estranged mother not a drug dealer!''

''Oh please, knowing Dingle I bet his whole family are criminals.''

''I am sick and tired of your attitude. This isn't the first time you've had a run in with Dingle either. Do you have a problem with him?''

''This isn't the first time you've defended him. Us officers are meant to stick together Sugden. You've got quite the soft spot for Dingle, haven't you?''

''No, what I am is fair. I actually try and help the inmates not intimidate them. Dingle has tested clean for drugs for months. He's not failed a single test. So next time you decide to pull an inmate for a strip search consult with me first, got it?!'

''Yes, sir.''

''I've told you once you were skating on thin ice. You're on your last warning. Now piss off out of my sight!''

Once Robert dismissed Murphy his sole concern was Aaron. That morning he promised Aaron that he'd be waiting for him after the visit. When he hadn't arrived back on the wing with the rest of the inmates Robert had rushed off instantly.

With Murphy's involvement Robert had no gauge to tell if Aaron's visit with Chas went well, but he was eager to find out. He found Aaron curled up on his bunk looking much calmer than when he last saw him. Aaron beckoned him on to the bed, a risky move considering it was free association, but nevertheless Robert led beside him wrapping him up in his arms. Aaron assured him he was fine and that he just got a little spooked. Aaron then smiled as he told Robert that Chas believed him. That he had his mum back. Robert beamed feeling relieved that Aaron seemingly was on course to getting his family back.

........................

Robert had been buzzing with anticipation and excitement all morning. He couldn't wait to unveil his plans and see the surprise on Aaron's face. It was nearing 3pm on Christmas Day and after a rushed morning kiss Robert had disappeared from the wing intent on getting his work out of the way in a hurry and then setting up all that he wanted he set his plan in motion.

At midday he let the inmates out of their cells for Christmas dinner, an act that seemed to shock, but also endear him to the prisoners on his wing. Robert knew it was a risk as he had such limited staff due to the holiday season, but his trust was well placed as the inmates ate amicably and all seemed content and happy to return to their cells afterward.

Once all seemed settled and he had organised his surprise Robert told the few PO's working that day to go relax in the canteen. The wing was quiet and uneventful. The inmates were content. The officers complied eagerly, none of them particularly ecstatic about working Christmas Day in the first place. In fact Robert seemed to be the only one who was happy being inside the walls of HMP Hotten.

He retrieved Aaron from his cell and during the journey he kept seeing Aaron's bemused eyes glancing at him. All week Aaron had been trying to get a hint of Robert's plans. All he had been told was that Robert would collect him a couple of hours after lunch. Robert locked the hallway door that was the connecting route to his office to ensure they wouldn't be interrupted in their own little haven. Just outside the office Robert paused, stepped behind Aaron and covered his eyes with both hands.

''Rob, what are you doing?''

''It's a surprise, you idiot!'' Robert laughed as he pecked Aaron on the top of his head before giving him directions. Slowly Aaron managed to navigate them through the office door and with a kick Robert closed it behind them. ''Okay, open your eyes.''

What he was greeted with took his breath away. The room was illuminated with Christmas lights, all the colours of the rainbow reflecting off the walls and casting their hue across the length of the office. A tiny potted Christmas tree sat in the corner. A present wrapped in red and gold paper was underneath. Tinsel stretched along the back of the couch and down its arms and surrounded the edge of Robert's desk. Then in the middle of the room was a blanket. On top was snacks, cake and an entire myriad of festive food on paper plates. Many soft, plush cushions were at one end of the blanket. Aaron was in awe at their own little Christmas getaway.

Robert's arm came around his middle and his chin rested on Aaron's shoulder. ''Do you like it?''

Aaron huffed out an incredulous laugh, all the effort Robert had gone to to make the day special made his heart bloom ever larger inside his chest. He reclined back into Robert, craning his head back to meet his lovers lips. ''It's amazing. You're amazing. Thank you.''

Robert stepped back and bent over to retrieve something from behind the desk and produced another surprise which was a chill box filled with beer as well as a champagne bottle on ice.

''What's with the champagne?''

''We're celebrating aren't we?'' Robert held Aaron by the hips and gazed into the crystal blue orbs. ''Our first Christmas together isn't it?''

''Merry Christmas, Robert.''

''Merry Christmas, Aaron.''

...................

After making a significant dent in the food as well as polishing off a few beers each and a celebratory glass of champagne they settled down and relaxed back into the pile of cushions. Robert had thought of everything apparently because the second Aaron showed the barest sign of being cold he plugged in a heater that warmed the room.

Aaron almost seemed mesmerised watching the lights twinkling; red, blue, yellow, green, purple, orange, pink. He'd never felt so complete. So ridiculous happily. To anyone else that probably seemed ludicrous considering he was still in prison, but he had his mum back, he had an amazing boyfriend and now the perfect Christmas.

Robert started kissing along his stubbled jaw and met Robert's grin with one of his own. Robert's eyes sparkled and Aaron could already feel the heat rising. He tugged his lover on top of him by his leather belt and dragged Robert down to steal his breath away with a kiss.

Both men were utter slaves to their desire for one another and both moaned in arousal and shared relief when Robert sunk into Aaron's willing body balls deep. They found a steady rhythm, Robert started with shallow thrusts teasing Aaron, seeing the lust in his eyes and pupils dilate Robert finally thrusted with force sending his entire length into Aaron's tight heat. Robert watch enthralled as Aaron's eyes flickered shut, nails scratching into the blanket and thighs tightening around his waist.

''Rob...'' Aaron repeated with a breathless gasp.

He wanted more. So much more. Robert did things to his body that drove him crazy. They fit together so perfectly. Robert discovered all his weaknesses so quickly. Had seemed to memorise his body. He teased against his prostate with every inward motion, hitting the bundle of nerves that made Aaron moan wantonly and beg for more. He clung to Robert's frame as his lovers intensity grew, his hands clung to Robert's shoulders as a hard thrust shoved him further into the mass of cushions.

Aaron's body was so warm. A sheen of sweat over soft skin. Robert could see the arousal dancing in his lovers eyes, could tell he was hitting Aaron's spot by the constant clenching of his walls around his cock. He knew Aaron was close as he kept tugging at his leaking dick and then stopping not wanting to cum too quickly, but Robert was desperate to watch him come undone. Seeing Aaron so free, so lost in ecstasy was a sight that he would never forget.

''Cum for me, Aaron,'' Robert whispered hotly against the shell of Aaron's ear. ''You gonna cum for me?''

Aaron fingers slipped into his hair, tugging on short blonde locks as tendrils of pleasure ran down his spine. Robert watched entranced as Aaron fisted his slick cock at a rapid pace chasing his orgasm. It swept over Aaron in a rush as he came over his stomach and hand. Thick spurts of cum landing in the sparse hairs that trailed down from his belly button. Robert followed soon after as Aaron's convulsing channel drew him closer and closer. When Aaron's satiated eyes blinked open and looked at Robert and his man begged for him to cum it sent Robert into orbit. He pounded into Aaron hard and fast as he spilled his load.

Aaron held Robert's quivering body in his arms, his heavy weight settling on top of him as he enjoyed the aftershocks of his climax. He ran his hands up and down Robert's sweaty back, his foot running up and down long legs and kissed into the mess of blonde hair. Robert looked up at him and kissed at his chin and jaw and then hovered above him. Looking at Aaron's body beneath. The enchanting blue eyes. The defined chest rising up and down. His flaccid dick slick with cum.

Aaron could see Robert's eyes all over his body and he wanted to recoil from the attention. Now the lust filled daze had been satiated he felt self conscious of the wounds marked into his skin. He crossed his arms over his naked chest trying to hide, but Robert stopped him and pulled them back, linking their fingers together and pushing them out to the side.

''You don't have to hide them from me,'' Robert's soft caring eyes were so earnest and sincere. ''You're beautiful. Every part of you.''

''Even them?''

''They're a part of you, Aaron. I wish nobody hurt you, that you didn't have to go through that pain, but they don't change how beautiful you are.''

Aaron blushed at his boyfriends words and felt the familiar bloom in his chest. Words were on the tip of his tongue. He realised what he felt for the man. It had been staring him in the face for so long. It was as if a blinding light had been switched on revealing something that had been hiding in the shadows.''I love you, Robert.''

''I love you too.'' Robert's declaration followed within an instant. They cuddled back into the cushions, kissing languid, sloppy and slow. Unable to stop touching each others damp skin.

Robert rolled away from the heat of Aaron's body retrieving the small present located underneath the tree. Aaron raised up onto an elbow unashamedly enjoying the view of Robert's naked and glistening body. Eyes drifting over the broad shoulders, down his spin to the curve of his ass. Aaron applied the adjectives of fit, sexy, hot to men who he was attracted too, but Robert was a cut above the rest. Robert was gorgeous, stunning, beautiful.

As he turned back Aaron could withstand not touching his lover. His hand running along Robert's thigh. The thick and long limb hooking over his own as Robert snuggled back into his body and the cushions.

''Got you a little something,'' Robert smiled as he handed Aaron the gift.

''Rob, you've already done too much,'' Aaron said feeling terrible that he couldn't provide the same for Robert.

''Hey,'' Robert pulled his bottom lip free from his teeth. ''I wanted to give you an unforgettable Christmas. Besides you did a good job of rewarding my efforts just now.''

Aaron rolled his eyes and shoved at Robert's shoulder playfully. With Robert urging him Aaron unwrapped the gift to reveal a small black box. He looked questioningly at Robert who had an uncharacteristically shy and nervous look about him. Aaron opened the box and took hold of it.

''A key?''

''It's to a house. I found a place that was up for sale and I bought it. The key is old, because I haven't got the keys to the house yet. Basically this is me asking if you wanna live with me?''

''You want to live together?''

''Only if you want to. I don't wanna pressure you. When you're out, whenever that is, I'll be here. If you want to wait or you'd prefer to live with your mum again that's OK.''

''I wanna live with you,'' Aaron answered without any hesitation.

Robert beamed, placing a kiss on Aaron's soft lips and nuzzled their noses together. ''The house is in Emmerdale. I took a risk when I bought it hoping you and your mum would sort things out. I didn't want you to be too far from your family.''

''You bought a house in Emmerdale? Where?''

''Mill cottage. Apparently there was a fire not too long ago and it had been sat empty for over a year, but the place has been fully renovated,'' Robert summarised. ''So you still wanna live with me?''

''Definitely,'' Aaron straddled Robert's hips and kissed him passionately. His tongue licking into Robert's mouth as his hands glided over every inch of skin they could reach.

Robert's body tingled and hummed with desire. He pulled away from their feverish kiss and looked deeply into ocean blue. He licked at his lips knowing exactly what he wanted. What his body was crying out for. He ached for Aaron's body, he wanted to take that step. He had never entertained the idea before Aaron. The act seemed to intimate. Left him to vulnerable and not in control. He had this strange reasoning in his head that if he took that step then he would have to admit to himself who he truly was. He wasn't ready then. Now he was.

''Aaron,'' Robert whispered against his lips. ''I want you.''

''I want you too,'' Aaron was already hard and leaking precum onto Robert's belly. ''Hang on.''

Robert watched as Aaron crawled the short distance to were they tossed the lube and condoms and was overcome with anxiety. The trademark confident mask he wore slipped and he felt nerves swarm him. When Aaron crawled back Robert sat up and pushed Aaron onto his back not giving himself time to back out. His palms rested on Aaron's heaving chest as he climbed on top with Aaron's slick cock sliding between the cheeks of his ass. Aaron's eyes lit up and Robert swallowed down the lump in his throat.

''I want all of you, Aaron.'' Robert rolled his hips back against Aaron's shaft. ''I want you inside me.''

''Are you sure?'' Aaron dick throbbed as Robert confirmed he was. ''You've never...''

''No,'' Robert answered. ''But I want you.''

''I'll be gentle,'' Aaron replied softly as he reared up kissing and licking at Robert's flushed chest and the hard nub of his nipples. He flipped them over and arranged himself between Robert's thighs. ''I promise you'll love it.''

With a devilish smirk that turned Robert on all the more Aaron pushed at his thighs as he sunk low and licked a wet stripe up and down Robert's thick and slick shaft tasting salt on his tongue. He took each testicle into his mouth, licking at the taut skin before hollowing his cheek sucking on each before releasing them with a wet pop. With the apex of his tongue he travelled back up to the head relishing the taste of more precum. He engulfed the engorged head in his mouth, swirling and twisting his tongue around the crown and then mouthed his way up Robert's body to kiss him deeply.

''Turn over.'' Aaron smirked as it took a moment for his words to register in Robert's lust addled brain. Robert turned onto all fours his chest low to the ground and by consequence his ass high. ''You look so hot.''

Aaron felt a sense of pride at knowing Robert trusted him and only him to do this. That he had never wanted to take this step before until Aaron came into his life. It made his body sing with desire and his heart bloom fuller for Robert.

He took a generous squeeze of Robert's exquisite ass enjoying the flesh at his finger tips. He spread Robert's cheeks unveiling the tight pink pucker. He pressed kisses along the small of Robert's back trying to calm the trembles that he could feel. He sucked at the smooth skin of Robert's butt and then licked a wet stripe between the ample cheeks. He heard a sharp intake of breath come from his lover and repeated the action. Robert squirmed and pushed his ass back eagerly wanting more of Aaron's sensational tongue. Aaron read Robert like a book and this time focused on his hole licking and sucking and kissing at his fluttering pucker. Laving around his entrance in concentric circles he felt Robert's body relax and he took that moment to push through the resistance.

Robert moaned as Aaron's tongue pushed inside and he bunched up the blanket within his fists desperate to hold on to something. His head bowed, knees slid further apart and he looked down beneath his body to see copious amount of precum dripping down onto the blanket. His body felt electrified. Every touch from Aaron sent jolts of pleasure straight to his dick which throbbed and twitched violently.

Aaron reached through Robert's long legs and pulled his dick back and with the full width of his tongue licked from the the tip all the way to Robert's fluttering asshole. He ran a lubed finger over Robert's pucker and the blonde was so sexually charged he was pushing back against it immediately and with a decisive push Aaron drove it inside his pliant body up to the knuckle.

''Fuck, Aaron.'' Robert practically whimpered all the while squeezing at his dick. He had never felt so aroused before. Had never felt the need to cum so badly. ''More, Aaron. I want you.''

Aaron took pity on his boyfriend and stopped teasing. He stretched him open with another two fingers, scissoring and plunging deep and Robert took it still rocking back against Aaron all the while cursing and moaning into the air.

After rolling the condom on and coating his length and Robert's hole with a copious amount of lube he pressed himself against Robert's entrance. He kissed between Robert's shoulder blades and reminded him to try and relax. He pushed tentatively and with minimal pressure the head of his dick sank into Robert. Aaron pushed in slow and Robert's tight hole enveloped his pulsating cock beautifully.

Aaron held still letting Robert get accustomed to the feeling. He pressed his chest along the length of Robert's back and kissed at his ear and exposed neck. ''You doing OK?''

''Feels strange, but a good strange.'' Robert's voice was soft with a dazed quality to it. He had never felt so full. His body was buzzing from head to toe. ''You feel so good.''

Aaron chuckled and whispered hotly, ''You haven't felt anything yet.''

He started to move his hips gently, Robert's body moving with the motion. Aaron reached round to take hold of Robert's still hard cock and stroked him in time with his thrusts. Robert moaned deliciously overcome with the pleasure Aaron was treating him to. His hips bucked wildly sending Aaron balls deep. Robert let out a slutty moan that made Aaron's cock throb violently. He took hold of Robert's hips and started to thrust with his entire length and Robert met every thrust. His spine arched, his knees slid further apart, his hand reached back and grabbed onto Aaron's tensed thigh as he drove his cock in harder and faster.

Every sinew was on fire and Robert looked down to see his rock hard dick swinging with every hard piston of Aaron's hips. He felt so turned on. He had never felt anything like it. He was desperate to cum. He begged Aaron and a hand soon wrapped around his aching length. He was jerked off at a rapid pace and he couldn't hold contain it as he erupted. His cum shot out wetting the blanket beneath him, endless streams spurting free as he crashed into the best orgasm of his life.

He felt Aaron slam harder into his willing body and hold himself deep inside as a guttural moan sounded from his lover. Robert's body turned lax, unable to hold himself up and he collapsed into the mess of his own cum. Aaron's body followed him down, biceps straining to not fall completely on top of Robert. Aaron pulled out gently, removing and knotting the condom and tossing it in the bin.

''Fuck that felt good!'' Robert exclaimed as he slowly turned over with a massive grin on his face. He tugged at his softening penis still feeling waves of pleasure washing over his body.

Aaron rested on his side next to him and chuckled. ''I gathered. You got pretty into it.''

Robert laughed, ''Yeah, I think I'm gonna want to do that again.''

''I can live with that,'' Aaron smirked. He looked over Robert's blissed out face and down his sweat sheened body. He collected the remnants of cum from the head and shaft of Robert's dick and sucked on each digit relishing the taste on his tongue.

''Fucking hell!'' Robert marvelled as his cock gave an appreciative twitch. He pulled Aaron on top of him and licked into his mouth tasting himself on Aaron's tongue. ''I love you, Aaron.''

''I love you too, soft lad.''

Aaron settled on Robert's chest, both basking in the after glow, until his attention was suddenly drawn to his gift. The metal reflected a rainbow of colours that caught his eye and Aaron couldn't wipe the smile from his face. It symbolised more than a key to a house. It was a key to Robert. A key to his heart. And a key to a future he so desperately wanted.

.................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas Aaron and Robert spent together was one of the very first things planned in this story and I was so looking forward to getting here. Then once I did I panicked and pulled my hair out making sure I got it right! So hopefully I did!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	19. Backs Against the Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my amazing and lovely friend, Jo. It is also a slightly late birthday present for her! Hope you enjoy it hon 

 

 

Months had passed since Aaron's first meeting with his lawyer. Miss Snow had visited him numerous times gathering as much evidence and statements. Aaron found himself trusting her judgement and advice. He knew full well his volatility could be an issue if or when he took the stand and it seemed to be a leading factor in Miss Snow's concerns. Aaron had become mindful of that and during discussions with Harriet they had incorporated a few techniques to help him manage and control any potential outbursts.

Snow had recently talked to Chas and his family, but judging from what his mum had told him during their latest visit it hadn't produced much in helping Aaron's case. Nevertheless Miss Snow assured him they would persevere, however Aaron was rattled when Snow got in contact for an unscheduled meeting the previous day. He wasn't supposed to see her for another fortnight, but she insisted on seeing him much earlier.

Aaron never realised how frustrating the appeal process would be. Everything seemed to move in slow motion and that didn't help matters when his entire future hung in the balance. Before he had nothing to lose. No family. No future. No Robert. It was easier to live inside the walls of HMP Hotten without all he wanted standing just out of his reach. Now all the things that meant so much to him seemed to taunt him between the bars of his cells window and across the barbed wire fence.

Miss Snow finally swept into the room apologising for running late. A traffic accident had apparently halted traffic all around the Hotten area. They engaged in minimal small talk which Aaron was thankful for as he just wanted her to cut to the chase and put him out of his misery. Too many ideas had been running around in his head for long enough.

''I've accumulated numerous statements from your family and of course your own, but I'm concerned that it won't be enough for the judge to proceed with the appeal,'' Miss Snow explained.

The air rushed out of Aaron, all the hope vanished. The image of what his life could be with Robert drifting away from his finger tips. ''So what that's it? After I finally manage to tell everyone the truth it doesn't even matter?''

It was a hard pill to swallow and Aaron felt anger boiling in his blood. Gordon had ruined his life. He was the cause of so much pain and even with him dead and buried he still wins. His shadow would still haunt Aaron's life. He'd never be free of him.

''No! I'm not giving up. Neither are you.'' Snow sounded resolute, both feet planted and fighting from Aaron's corner. ''We just need more. We need to approach this from a different angle. Your statement is pivotal to your case, it's the very reason we are here in the first place. So don't think for a second that you coming forward meant nothing.''

''But it's not enough?''

''It's easily thrown out. The defense will argue that it's your word against Gordon's and seeing as he isn't around to defend himself they'll use that against you. They'll say that he died at your hand in cold blood and you're looking for a way out of prison.''

''So what can I do? No one knew about Gordon.'' Every ounce of fight in Aaron was evaporating. The situation seemed hopeless. The abuse was only known to himself and his abuser. Gordon made sure to drum it into his skull enough that it was their little secret.

''No one at all? Are you sure there wasn't anyone that could have had suspicions? Neighbours? Friends? Your school?''

''The people next door called the cops one time because they heard a commotion. It was one of the nights where he was really mad and smashing the house to pieces.''

''Okay that could help.'' Snow added to her notes all the information on Aaron's neighbours that Aaron could recall, names, address, age all in the hope that she could track them down and gain vital evidence to strengthen the case. ''Anything else? You mentioned a step-mum that lived with you during the time the abuse took place.''

''Sandra was only there a little while,'' Aaron clarified. Gordon met her not long after Chas abandoned him. Their relationship was tumultuous, she always saw him as a problem child and Aaron rarely gave her any reason to think otherwise. The only good thing to arise from the short lived romance was his little sister, Olivia. ''She took my sister and left years ago. I have no idea where they are.''

''It's worth looking into. Do you know why she left?''

''Gordon blamed it on me. Told me she couldn't handle a wayward kid and didn't want Liv around that kind of behaviour.''

Aaron could barely remember his little sister. Her face was a blur to him now. Besides she would look so different over a decade later. If she stepped into the same room as him he wasn't sure he'd even recognise her. When Aaron was younger he wished his sister was still there, a tiny beacon of light in the darkness of the world he lived in with his father, but now he was so relieved that she escaped. That she didn't have to endure the sadistic things he did. She was safe and protected.

''Well that's his story, Aaron, but I wonder what Sandra's is.''

...................................

''I've received a complaint,'' Lawrence announced as they reached the conclusion of their statutory monthly meeting. Despite neither man wishing to engage with the other circumstances of their respective high positions within the prison infrastructure meant every so often they were forced into each others company. ''It seems you have been targeting an officer...''

''Let me guess,'' Robert cut in instantly, ''Officer Murphy by any chance?''

''So you are aware of the problem.''

''Yes and I'm on top of it.'' Robert wasn't surprised that Murphy ran straight to Lawrence after their multiple confrontations. In fact he was surprised it took him so long. However Robert was determined to stand his ground and wouldn't allow Murphy to get away with his actions toward Aaron.

''An unhappy work force never ends well, Robert.'' Lawrence advised arrogantly all the while taking significant glee in getting one over the man that held him over a barrel.

''Tell me how many other officers on my wing have come to you about my leadership?''

''You know I can't divulge that information, Robert.''

''So just Murphy then.'' Robert could see by the look on Lawrence's face that he was correct. Other than Murphy he had no other issues with the staff on his wing. He got on well with the contingent allocated to E-wing. He forged strong bonds with most of them when he was a PO himself. ''So what exactly has Murphy complained about?''

''That you have been confrontational numerous times and you've also undermined him in front of colleagues and cons alike. Hardly a winning formula to run a harmonious wing.''

''Any trouble on my wing has stemmed from Officer Murphy. Yes we have had confrontations but I'm sure he left out key details such as slamming an inmate up against a wall.''

''Well that would be his word against yours...''

''Actually Harriet can confirm that. Then he intimidated the very same inmate by forcing an unscheduled strip search after a difficult visit on him and without gaining my permission to do so. He has violated protocol and ignored direct orders and broken rules. All of which can be supported by numerous officers that were present at the time. If I was in your shoes Larry I'd have already fired him.''

''Oh come on it's hardly grounds for dismissal!''

''Violence towards an inmate? Forcing a strip search?'' Robert knew Murphy's appalling behavior wasn't enough to warrant his termination, not in the officers unions mind anyway. Robert was well aware he had to pick his battles and the second Murphy put a gigantic foot wrong he'd push him out the door. In the meantime rattling Murphy and Lawrence would have to suffice.

''I'm sure there were extenuating circumstances that led to those actions by Officer Murphy and the officers union will not allow you to push him out. He's one of the longest serving officers in this prison and a strong hand on your wing. You'd be wise to keep him on side!''

''I thought you'd say that which is why I haven't approached you or the union with a complaint, but trust me it's all documented and when he crosses the line again I'll go above your head Lawrence and get the piece of shit fired.''

Lawrence sighed as yet again Robert gained the upper hand, but he still had an ace in the hole. An ace that he was all too willing to play despite the risk and consequence. ''I've also received a complaint from Jason Cook's lawyer.''

''Cook? What the hell has he got to complain about?'' As far as Robert was concerned that scumbag was lucky to still be breathing. He got off lightly being left to rot in solitary confinement for months. There was no intention to bring them back to the wing. Not when Aaron was still there anyway.

''They've been languishing in solitary confinement for months. Isn't it about time you return them to the wing?'' Lawrence argued.

''You can't be serious? After all the hassle you gave me about ending the drug trade you now want me to return the culprits to the wing?'' Robert could read Lawrence like a book. He knew that the chaos Jason would bring to his wing would put his back up against the wall and any incident would be blamed on him. It would weaken his standing, jeopardise his position and put his job at risk.

''Cook isn't a novice when it comes to the prison system, Robert. He knows how to play the game and so does his solicitor. So return them all to the wing sharpish.''

''No,'' Robert refused with his sole intent to protect Aaron. His boyfriend had enough to deal with in the upcoming months without Jason adding to it. Not to mention it would put Aaron's life at risk! ''Maybe you haven't realised yet old man, but I own you. If you make me return Cook to the wing your dirty little secret comes out.''

''Don't threaten me, Robert! Do you believe I'm that stupid to risk you ending my career? The situation is out of my hands. They have already threatened to go above my head and the moment the board hears that you have left inmates to rot in solitary for months on end Cook will be the least of your worries.''

''Cook is the one that caused all the trouble on E-wing! The place has run like clockwork since he's been gone!''

''And the board will argue it's your job to discipline and rehabilitate your problem inmates not ship them off out of the way so you don't have to deal with them anymore. But by all means put your career in jeopardy I'll have no issue with you falling on your own sword.''

Robert was between a rock and a hard place. There was no way that he could keep Jason down the block any longer. If he tried the board could fire him which would leave Aaron alone and Jason would still be returned to E-wing. There was no way around it he knew he would have to unleash Jason back on the wing. At least this way Robert would still be around to keep an eye on Aaron and keep him safe.

...............................................

Aaron had been on edge all week ever since Robert had informed him of Jason and the gang returning to E-wing. Robert promised him that he wouldn't allow any harm come to him, but Robert couldn't watch over him day and night. Before he and Robert got together, before he got his family back and an appeal in motion he held a calm sense of accepting his fate. That his death at Jason's hand was foregone conclusion. But now he had so much to live for.

He was skittish. Jumping at shadows. His heart stopping at any sudden noises. Robert tried to make him feel safe by giving Fenwick orders to keep an eye on him under the pretense of stress due to the appeal and implementing a rotation of officers to escort him to and from work detail. If it was possible Aaron fell more in love with Robert because of how protective he was, but deep down in his gut Aaron knew that if Jason wanted him dead it was only a matter of time.

On the way back from work detail Murphy made an appearance and conversed with Aaron's escorting officer. He hung back trying to give the officers space to talk and it wasn't as if their conversation was worth listening to anyway. Besides he was still caught up in feeling the ghost of Robert's lips and hands over his skin. Then suddenly he snapped to reality when he saw his escorting officer heading off and leaving him with Murphy. He instantly tried to follow, but Murphy put a hand to his chest to stop him. The officer disappeared and Aaron felt his stomach drop to the ground.

''I offered to take over,'' Murphy explained as he shoved Aaron in the shoulder to move him in the direction he wanted. ''Move it, Dingle.''

They moved through corridor after corridor, the distance from E-wing and Robert enlarging by the second. Aaron's mouth ran dry and his stomach twisted and knotted. Then Jason appeared straight ahead of him. He stopped dead in his tracks. Instantly he attempted to turn back the way he came but walked into the solid wall of Murphy's chest. He was trapped.

''Nice to see you again, Dingle,'' Jason snarled as he approached. His henchmen also swooping in from all angles. Palpable tension descended as the stand off commenced. ''Are you not pleased to see me? Guess you thought you were done with me after setting me up, right?''

Aaron shook his head desperately trying to deny the accusation, but he knew it was futile. He was in serious danger and his life was on the line. He wished for Robert. To be back in his office. To be back in his arms.

''Your guardian angel busted my crew in the kitchen. What a coincidence, huh?'' Jason spat as he strode confidently into Aaron's personal space. ''And now I hear Sugden's helping with your appeal.''

''Sugden's done nothing to help with my appeal,'' Aaron lied without hesitation. He wanted to keep Robert away from trouble. Away from danger. And as far away from Jason as possible. ''A lawyer has.''

''Well it's a shame your lawyers hard work won't matter in the end. And luckily for me your guardian angel isn't around either.'' With a sinister glare Jason brandished a makeshift weapon. A shiv was a common weapon in prisons made by embedding a razor blade into a melted toothbrush handle. It wouldn't be the first time Jason used one.

Aaron drew back as the metal glowed from the bright light above. He frantically searched for an exit route, but every direction was cut off. Murphy now had his back turned and had moved to the end of the corridor intent on standing idly by and letting Jason kill him. Like sharks the gang circled him. They could already smell blood in the water.

Aaron's mind flashed through memories of Robert; their first kiss, the first time they said I love you, the first time they had sex, the Christmas they spent together. Aaron let the tears fall as the future he so desperately wanted slipped away.

Out of nowhere a door swung open and everyone froze. Harriet stood in the midst of the showdown having no idea of what she had just stumbled into. Aaron held his breath wondering what Jason would do. Would he still try and hurt him. Would he try and hurt Harriet too. The answer came in the form of Officer Murphy springing into action playing the dutiful PO. He ushered Jason and the others back toward the wing and before they rounded the corner Jason made it clear with a single look that he was on borrowed time and he just got the luckiest reprieve possible.

''Aaron, are you okay?'' Harriet asked concerned. She was no fool, the tension was thick and heavy and the look on Aaron's face was enough for her to realise that the situation was one that brought fear to Aaron.

''Y..yeah, I'm fine,'' Aaron stuttered as it hit him fully how close he just came to losing his life.

''You don't look fine.'' Harriet could see Aaron was white as a sheet, sweating profusely and trembling all over. ''Were they threatening you?''

''They're just looking for someone to blame for getting busted.''

''Why would they think you had anything to do with it?''

''Because I used to be a part of the gang. Jason set me up ages ago to test my loyalty and Sugden saved me from going back through the system and got me off the block. To Jason that meant I sold out and helped Sugden bust them.''

''Aaron if you're in danger then there's things we can do to ensure your safety.''

''What like going into protection?'' Aaron scoffed at the idea. By stepping one foot on that wing you become a much bigger target. Every inmate is branded a grass and you end up having to worry about more than just the thing that brought you there in the first place.

''You'll be safe there, Aaron.'' Harriet urged.

Aaron appreciated Harriet's advice, but it was completely misguided. If someone wanted you dead they'd find a way and with Murphy in Jason's back pocket there were no officers Aaron could trust.

Inside the walls of HMP Hotten no place was protected. No place was safe.

..............................

The gravel crunched under Robert's feet as he hauled another box from his car inside his new home. When February rolled around he was finally given the keys to the Mill and started the arduous process of moving in. Admittedly he had to move very little considering he'd been living in a hotel room for the better part of the previous year, but moving was still a chore.

The Mill was finally starting to take shape and feel like a home. Over the week he scheduled larger items like a fridge, television, couch, bed, cabinets to be delivered and now the rooms had a warmth to them. Numerous times he had stilled to just look around and imagine Aaron there with him curled up together on the couch watching TV. Or eating dinner at the dining table. He couldn't wait for Aaron to be free, to live with him and help shape the Mill into their home.

He ducked his head back into the car to retrieve the box marked books when he heard footsteps approach. He pulled back to see Aaron's mum storming down the driveway with a face like thunder.

''What are you doing here?'' Chas barked without any kind of greeting or formal introduction.

Aaron had warned him that she could be rather abrasive and gobby, but Robert still wasn't prepared for an interrogation. Aaron still hadn't explained who Robert was instead only offering up a vague description of him being a friend.

Chas seemed to notice the boxes in the car and then looked to the Mill as it all became clear. ''You're living here? Does Aaron know?''

''Of course,'' Robert answered, but thought better of revealing Aaron would be living there too. That nugget of information was probably better coming from the man himself.

''How do you know my boy? He says your friends, but every time I visit and bring you up he acts all cagey.''

''It's not really my place...''

''Something is going on here and I wanna know. Now!''

Chas was relentless. She wouldn't give up or get out of his face. She stared him down like a protective lioness protecting her cubs and with great reluctance Robert caved. ''I met Aaron in prison.''

''You're a jailbird?'' Chas scoffed and shook her head clearly not buying the story. ''It's funny you don't strike me as a criminal.''

Robert knew the situation was about to blow up in his face, but an explanation had to come sooner or later. It was a miracle that she hadn't spotted him on any of her visits to see Aaron already and so he decided to bite the bullet. ''I'm not a prisoner. I'm a wing governor.''

''Why on earth would a wing governor be so invested in my Aaron's life that he'd go to the trouble of tracking me down?'' Chas watched as Robert avoided her eye and it suddenly all made sense. ''Oh you have gotta be kidding!''

''Chas, please just talk to Aaron and he'll explain...''

''Explain what? That some officer has taken advantage of him? You're a disgrace!'' Chas shrieked.

Robert shook his head frantically desperate for her to understand. ''It's not like that! I'd never take advantage. I care about your son. We're together. We have been for a while.''

''You're in a position of trust! And you use your job to get with inmates!''

''Inmate. Singular. And no I would never take advantage of Aaron. We didn't mean for it to happen, but I care about him more than anything. Why do you think I risked everything to come here and find you?''

''What is he thinking? What are you thinking?'' Chas bellowed as she ran her fingers through her long brunette locks in disbelief. ''You manipulated my boy and trust me I'll make him see sense.''

''Chas, please...''

''And you you'll be lucky if you don't get locked up yourself after I'm finished with you!''

''I wouldn't hurt Aaron!'' Robert called out to Chas' retreating figure as she stormed off. ''He's everything.''

Chas' threat echoed in his mind and he feared the consequences if she revealed their relationship. He just hoped she'd hold fire until she talked to Aaron first. They had a visit scheduled in a couple of days and he'd give Aaron warning the next morning that Chas knew about their relationship and was on the warpath. Hopefully Aaron could make her see that their relationship wasn't sordid. That what they had was real. That they loved each other.

.....................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was quite the crash back down to earth after the last chapter wasn't it? Aaron needs more evidence for his appeal, Jason is back, and hurricane Chas just got unleashed on poor Robert!
> 
> Thanks again for all the support and encouragement with this story it's greatly appreciated. I'm always happy to hear your thoughts and feelings :)
> 
> And if you'd like you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	20. Crimson

 

 

Aaron's legs bobbed restlessly under the table as the room slowly filled with family and friends of all those incarcerated. All morning he had been impatient for visitation hour. He needed to address the situation with Chas, calm her down and ensure Robert wasn't thrown to the wolves at her hand.

The morning after Robert received an ear full from Aaron's mother he had informed him of their encounter. Anger boiled inside at Chas' threatening his boyfriend without cause. As the days passed Aaron could tell Robert was worried about the consequences if she followed through with her threat despite him never voicing any concern. It was at the stage now where verbal communication wasn't always needed, they could read each others facial cues or understand just from a look in their eye. Aaron promised him that he would sort the problem and that he had nothing to worry about. If that meant dishing out warnings of his own then so be it.

''You have got some serious explaining to do,'' Chas whispered sharply without so much as greeting her son. ''What the hell are you thinking, Aaron?''

''You haven't told anyone have you?'' Aaron asked cutting straight to the chase. He knew his mother could be protective, but he wished with all his might that she hadn't charged in all guns blazing.

''Why? Your boyfriend worried is he?'' Chas hissed. ''Because he bloody well should be, Aaron!''

''Mum tell me you haven't told anyone,'' Aaron tried to sound firm, but was hamstrung by the need to keep his voice down to avoid drawing any attention to them. The last thing he needed was for someone to overhear and out he and Robert instead. ''Tell me you haven't.''

''Can you give me a reason why I shouldn't have?'' Chas saw the colour drain from Aaron's face and sighed in exasperation. With that one look she knew her son was in deep with the man. ''No I haven't told anyone, but that doesn't mean I wont. He's taking advantage, Aaron!''

''It's not like that...''

Chas scoffed incredulously. ''You two seem to have that line well rehearsed. Has he drummed that little speech into you?''

''You don't even know him!'' Aaron felt his heckles rise as his own protective instincts came to the fore. ''You have no idea what he's done for me!''

''Do you know him?'' Chas retorted. ''He's a prison officer for crying out loud!''

''Keep your voice down.'' Aaron looked around the room in a panic, but was relieved to see nobody paying attention to their increasingly heated exchange.

''Ashamed are you? Or is your boyfriend just scared of losing his job and being thrown in a cell of his very own when they find out he's been taking advantage of inmates?''

''He's never taken advantage. He's the only reason I'm still here!'' Aaron couldn't stand by any longer and have accusations hurled in Robert's direction. If that meant revealing just how much he felt for Robert than so be it. ''Whilst you and everyone else in my life disowned me and didn't give a crap Robert was there. He cared about me, protected me, saved me.''

''Aaron, love, open your eyes,'' Chas begged firm in her belief that Officer Sugden had crossed a boundary and Aaron wouldn't only get hurt in the future. ''You're just someone to pass the time with.''

''Don't you dare,'' Aaron growled through clenched teeth. ''You know nothing about Robert, about what he's been through, or what I've been through for that matter and you know fuck all about our relationship!''

''Aaron...''

''No mum! If you breathe a word of this we're done for good.'' Aaron hated resorting to ultimatums but he would do anything to protect Robert. Even sacrificing his family. ''I mean it, he means so much to me.''

''I won't say anything,'' Chas conceded. ''I'm just worried he's taking advantage of you.''

''Robert has done so much for me. He's put himself at risk to help me, put his career on the line, he found you and he did all of it for me.'' Aaron argued valiantly defending his lover. ''I'm finally happy because of him.''

''Do you love him?''

''Yes,'' Aaron answered without hesitation. ''And he loves me.''

''Then I guess I have to trust your judgement, but if he hurts you...''

''He won't.'' Aaron interjected fiercely and without a shadow of doubt in his mind. ''I know he won't.''

.....................................

Aaron pulled the maroon jumper over his head and collected up his bathroom items ready to leave the shower block. Aaron had slipped into a routine only weeks into his stay at HMP Hotten. While most inmates headed for breakfast once unlock commenced at 7am he would instead sneak off for a shower.

The shower block wasn't exactly a place to linger in the confines of a prison and Aaron felt incredibly self conscious of the scars that littered his chest and stomach. He knew they would be viewed as a weakness, a vulnerability that could be exploited so he chose to avoid the prying eyes that came with the rush hour traffic in the shower block. Aaron took no chances either and took his underwear and a t-shirt into the stall with him to change into. Most mornings he found himself alone, on occasion a couple of other prisoners would arrive, but thankfully the facilities inside the walls of HMP Hotten gave inmates a small modicum of privacy with shower stalls instead of a wide, open communal shower block.

That morning turned out to be one of the days where he was left alone to shower in solitude. He stood under the hot spray, surrounded in steam a little longer than usual. Luxuriating in its midst as tension seeped free from his muscles. As it all too often did his mind wandered toward Robert, and he felt a spark of arousal light up as explicit images of his boyfriend came to mind. Unfortunately it wasn't the time or place and he turned the water cold and finished cleaning himself in rush.

Just as he approached the door intent on returning to his cell for his traditional morning greeting from Robert it swung open nearly smacking him in square in the face. He jumped back to avoid the collision and all too quickly he was apprehended by two gang members with Jason strolling in with a maniacal grin right after.

''Hello, Dingle.'' Jason greeted him with cold, dead eyes. ''Don't look so scared I'm not gonna kill ya. Not today anyway cos I need you to understand exactly what you cost me by grassing us all up to your guardian angel.''

Before Aaron could reply he was dragged backward and pinned against the cold tiled wall. The condensation created from the shower he had taken seeped into the material of his clothes chilling him and causing goosebumps to rise over his skin.

''You cost me money, Dingle. You made all my customers unhappy. All the junkies aren't getting their fix because of you. There needs to be payback for your treason.''

''What?'' Fear had crippled Aaron and his voice could barely rise over a whisper.

''See me and the boys pooled all the gear we had left.'' Jason reached into his pocket which contained toilet roll screwed up into a ball that had pills inside. ''This is all for you, Dingle.''

Aaron shook his head frantically and tried to wriggle free of the grip, but he couldn't break free. His mouth was forced wide open and he felt all the pills fall into his mouth. He tried to spit them out, but a hand came down over his mouth and his head was immobilized. One of the gang pinched his nose and Jason poured water down his throat and covered his mouth. He fought the natural urge to swallow. He coughed and spluttered, his eyes ran, his face turned red until he couldn't fight his bodies instincts. The moment he swallowed more water filled his mouth again and again until all the pills were ingested and at that point Jason shoved him hard to the floor.

''You aren't ever getting out of here, Dingle. The second a screw sees you you'll be piss tested and you can kiss your appeal goodbye.'' Jason laughed as the gang left one by one. ''I'll have plenty of time to torture you before finally putting you out of your misery.''

Aaron stumbled to his feet, the drugs were already inflicting themselves on his body. The room tilted and started to spin on its axis distorting his vision, every step becoming harder and harder. He navigated his way out of the room, his muddled brain not knowing which way to turn. He staggered on unsteady legs, his limbs turning to jelly and liable to give way at any second. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, his nervous system grinding to a halt. His whole body turned lax as he crumpled to the floor.

''Aaron!''

Robert sprinted to Aaron and crouched beside him. He pulled at his body trying to get him to sit up, but he was practically dead weight. He opened each eye and saw Aaron's pupils were pin pricks. He slapped at Aaron's face trying to wake him up as he connected the dots. He had seen enough OD's during his time in HMP Hotten, he knew exactly what he was dealing with. Instinctively he wanted to radio to the hospital wing, but he suddenly halted realising if this got out Aaron's appeal would go up in smoke. He made a split second choice as he hauled Aaron to his feet, dragging him along in the direction of his office.

Robert's muscles burned as he carried Aaron to his office, relieved when they got inside and that they hadn't been seen. He gently sat Aaron up against the wall behind his desk. He fumbled with his keys as he rushed to lock the door so they wouldn't be busted.

''Aaron can you hear me? What have you taken?'' Robert rounded his desk and crouched in front of his unresponsive boyfriend.

Panic started to take hold. Robert knew he had taken a gigantic gamble in not getting Aaron medical attention, but first he had to try to help and salvage his appeal. He placed the bin in Aaron's lap, took hold of Aaron's limp arm and shoved two fingers down his throat. Aaron gagged and Robert breathed a little easier knowing there was a response. He held Aaron's fingers there until he finally vomited.

Robert then ran to the kettle and made up a cold mug of coffee. He tipped Aaron's head back and poured the liquid into his mouth. Aaron spluttered, it escaped the sides of his lips and ran down his chin but Robert didn't stop making sure Aaron drained the entire mug full and promptly threw up the contents of his stomach. Robert rubbed at his back as he hunched over the bin. Robert was relieved to see Aaron's eyes again, they still appeared glossy and unfocused but it spurred Robert on. He made up another batch of cold coffee and another after that and remained undeterred as Aaron tried to push the disgusting tasting coffee away. Aaron vomited three more times before he finally got his way and successfully pushed the mug of coffee away from his lips.

''Water...'' Aaron's voice was hoarse and painful as if he had swallowed glass.

Robert held a cup of water and helped him drink as Aaron's body was shaking violently from head to toe, but his skin was on fire and sweating profusely. Robert covered Aaron with his blazer and sat down beside him with an arm around his shoulders. Aaron's head fell into his chest and Robert shrugged it off desperately trying to keep him awake. He hoped the drugs had been expelled from his system and Aaron seemed to be much more alert and out of the woods.

''Aaron, what happened?'' Robert was baffled by the turn of events. Aaron had told him of his history with drugs, but that had been spice. Whatever Aaron had taken was much more hard hitting than that.

Aaron raised his head to look at Robert, he still seemed so distant, like it took every ounce of control he had to just utter a single word. ''Jason...''

''He did this to you.'' It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He should've known. Robert felt pangs of guilt at having doubts about Aaron. He felt foolish, but more than anything he felt blind hatred toward Jason.

Robert ran his fingers through Aaron's curls as Aaron tucked himself tightly into Robert's body. The violent shaking had started to subside, the heat slowly left Aaron's body as well. Despite Aaron's condition improving he wasn't prepared to send Aaron back to his cell until he was sure he was completely out of danger.

Hours passed with them locked inside the room. Aaron had managed to get back on his feet, had drank plenty of water and consumed some food; a hummus and coriander sandwich from Robert's lunch box. He had even regained the wherewithal to mercilessly tease Robert about his pretentious choice in sandwich fillings much to Robert's chagrin.

Robert meanwhile managed to get a small portion of work done and anytime a knock came on his door he managed to either lure them away from the room or Aaron would pretend to be hard at work. Luckily for the most part they spent the hours uninterrupted. Robert was grateful for that small mercy.

The dire straits they had found themselves in had to remain between them and no others. If it became public knowledge Aaron's appeal would be dead in the water and Robert was determined to not give Jason that satisfaction. What had become clear to Robert was that Jason was an urgent problem that he needed to solve.

..........................................

The day had been hell. Robert still felt the faintest trickles of panic and worry still lingering when he returned Aaron to his cell. He was practically back to normal except for a pounding headache and a sore throat and he urged Robert to go home and rest. He would be fine for the night locked in his cell.

Robert had intended to do as he was told, but he received a phone call just as he was preparing to leave that brought him back to Aaron's cell. He twisted the key in the lock and practically fell through the door in his eagerness to share the news. Aaron sat up in bed at his boyfriends sudden appearance after telling him hours ago that he should go home and he would see him the following morning.

''What are you doing back?'' Aaron swung his legs to the floor and made his way over to Robert who was checking the coast was clear before closing the cell door.

''I just got a phone call from Francesca.'' Robert could barely contain his excitement, but kept reminding himself during the brief trip to E-wing that he shouldn't get ahead of himself. ''Aaron, she found Sandra.''

''And?'' Aaron asked with trepidation. He could see the grin plastered on Robert's face, but fought and pushed down any belief that it was good news. Too often in his past the rug had been pulled out from beneath him. The sweeter the moment the more bitter the after taste would always be.

''She's agreed to testify. Francesca is certain you'll appeal motion will be granted now and she's filing at the end of the week.'' Robert took hold of Aaron's hands, he could see the multitude of emotions casting their shadows over Aaron's face. ''Things are moving in the right direction, Aaron.''

Aaron's mind raced. If Sandra was supporting his evidence then she must've known of the abuse. Or at least had her suspicions. Relief and anger collided and Aaron's emotions muddled into a congealed mess until he just felt numb. He didn't know what to feel, what to say, what to think. Then Robert's eyes found his own and he felt instantly calmer as he was anchored once more.

''What about, Liv?''

''She was there apparently. She seemed happy and healthy according to Francesca. Well as much as a 15 year old can be happy.'' Robert tugged Aaron closer and enveloped him in his arms. ''Just keep focusing on the appeal, getting out of here and being with me.''

That instantly brought a smile to Aaron's face. A future with Robert was the ultimate desire, but he reminded himself to keep his feet firm to the floor. Just because it all seemed so positive now didn't mean that it was going to be all plain sailing. The judge could still refuse to hear the evidence. The judge could agree with his current sentence and the entire appeal would be for nothing. And the looming threat of Jason could render the whole appeal pointless if he had his way.

''Jason tried to attack me,'' Aaron blurted out. He felt Robert turn rigid against his body. Robert recoiled with a look of horror on his face. ''He had a shiv and the whole gang surrounded me.''

''When? How did he get in here?''

''It happened before today. Murphy took over from that new PO and he led me straight to Jason. If Harriet hadn't have appeared out of nowhere I would've been in serious trouble.''

''Murphy?''

''Yeah. He threatened me a few months back with a message from Jason when he was stuck down the block.''

''Fuck, Aaron!'' Robert ran his hands through his hair, the blonde locks sticking up in disarray. ''Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner.''

''You've done so much for me, I didn't want to worry you.'' Aaron attempted to pacify his fuming boyfriend. He loved how protective Robert was but Aaron wanted to protect Robert just as much. ''And besides as long as Jason was still in solitary I didn't have to worry.''

''You had to worry about Murphy though!'' Robert argued. ''That motherfucker!''

''Rob...'' Aaron stilled Robert from his frantic pacing. Tried to placate him by holding him close and kissing him chastely. ''Don't do anything stupid. I need you here but not locked up in the next cell.''

Robert nuzzled into the crook of Aaron's neck kissing along his jawline. ''I'm sorry. I just hate the thought of you going through that alone.''

''I'm still here. No harm done.'' Aaron couldn't help but mentally add the silent caveat of _yet_.

That fact hadn't escaped Robert either. Aaron's life was hanging by a thread. With both Jason, the gang and Murphy all united Robert knew he had to do something to ensure Aaron's safety and keep him alive. The wheels started to turn, an idea taking shape as he concocted a plan to kill two birds with one stone.

............................

Robert's plan held significant risk. It meant Aaron putting himself in harms way and Robert had instantly talked himself out of it unprepared to put Aaron in any danger. However no other option came to either of them. No matter what Jason would be in HMP Hotten. Any attempt Robert took in shipping him out would be blocked by Cook's lawyer. Besides once another prison took a glance at Jason's record they would refuse to take him anyway.

Aaron eventually found himself talking Robert into the plan he initially conceived. It took constant badgering and pressure but Robert reluctantly caved and the plan was put into motion which brought Aaron to the empty gymnasium acting as bait. His ears were pricked up and his eyes wary for any sudden movement.

Robert had managed his part of the plan by putting Murphy on escort duty. All that hung in the balance was Jason taking the bait. They hoped the temptation of Aaron alone would draw Jason in especially after there had been no repercussions for Aaron's 'drug binge'.

With all the pieces in place Aaron waited. His nerves were shot as he worked out at a leisurely pace. Twenty minutes crawled by at an agonisingly slow rate and he started to believe Jason wouldn't fall into the trap until the large clatter of doors sounded and the gang surrounded him.

Aaron swallowed down the lump in his throat, tried to control the fear rattling his bones. Jason no longer wielded a shiv instead he brandished a large kitchen knife that undoubtedly he stole from the E-wing kitchen unit. Aaron hoped Robert was in place as it was vital for him and the other PO's to hear him plead for help.

''Don't do this, please Jason.'' Aaron begged playing his role to perfection. ''Murphy help me!''

''No chance, Dingle! I can't wait to watch you die!'' Murphy's voice echoed around the barren gymnasium.

Chaos then reigned!

Aaron spotted Robert and officers swarm into the gym from all angles as they joined the melee. He heard yelling and screaming along with the panic alarm blaring causing his ears to ring. Everything around him moved so fast, yet he felt in slow motion. His legs were lead and rooted to the ground. He was frozen in place as Jason lunged with the knife.

He braced himself for the impact and blinding pain.

Instead a heavy force slammed into him from the side. He fell to the ground in a sprawl. He winced as his spine and head bounced off the hard floor. Voices echoed. The alarm now muffled in his dazed state. Quickly regaining his bearings and shaking the cobwebs free he saw Robert stood over him with his back turned.

Jason was now being restrained on the ground in front of them, fighting and snarling obscenities as he kicked and flailed for freedom. Aaron slowly got to his feet. Relief flooded into every muscle and bone. Robert's plan was a resounding success as they had dealt with both Jason and Murphy in one fell swoop just as planned.

Robert then turned to him with vacant eyes.

Aaron noticed Robert's white shirt was stained crimson. Robert's hands were covered in blood and quivered as they clutched at his stomach as blood poured free. Aaron screamed Robert's name as his beautiful eyes flickered closed and he collapsed to the ground in a pool of blood.

................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry! *hides*
> 
> If you want you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	21. White Light and Dark Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait after the massive cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter. Despite having planned nearly every inch of this fic and knowing exactly what I needed to write I had a massive block where everything I wrote completely sucked. 
> 
> But I finally jumped over that block! Hooray!
> 
> I hope you enjoy and buckle up...

 

A blinding white light beamed straight towards Robert, surrounding him and fighting back the shadows that threatened from the outskirts. He extended his hand in an effort to shield himself from its luminescence. It felt warm on his skin and that heat radiated through his body banishing the chill that had settled in his bones.

The light beckoned him with its inviting, enticing and alluring glow.

He could hear a beat of a drum far off in the distance. Faint, but rhythmic. With every step it became louder and clearer. He followed its sound, the trail bringing him further and further into the depths of the bright glare.

Robert looked around in every direction seeing nothing but a vast expansive space that shone so brightly all of the shadows had retreated into the abyss. Above and beneath only showed the same vibrant glow.

There was nothing solid underfoot. He felt light. Held in the sensation of floating on air. Drifting in the wind like an autumnal leaf.

Untethered. Serene. Peaceful.

A deafening pop boomed. The black started to bleed into the white like ink rivers. The white light flashed to a bright red. He doubled over as he felt excruciating pain emanate from his stomach. Steel punctured his stomach. Slicing through skin and tearing muscle. He could feel the serrated edge of a blade causing horrific damage as it twisted inside of him.

The methodical beat of the drum became faster and louder. It's percussion rattled inside his chest and made his body vibrate from its strength.

He screamed in agony. His cry echoing. He peered down to his bare feet. He was standing in a pool of blood. His hands felt tacky. He raised them and recoiled as they dripped with blood.

The crimson light flickered before turning frantic. It flashed with the speed of a strobe light. The light was unyielding. Never slowing. Never stopping. The flashing gained more momentum until his head ached and obliterated his vision.

The drum now thundered in his ears. No space came between beats. Every pounding hit of the drum reverberated. He tried to cover his ears, but its relentless beats smashed through the barrier piercing his ear drums. The blood coating his hands now smeared over his face. He felt every part of his body grinding to a stand still before he collapsed in a heap in the deepest depth of the crimson light.

Robert's eyes shot wide open.

He blinked rapidly in an effort to acclimate his vision to startling glow overhead. The light rescinded, the edges of his vision returned and a white ceiling came into focus. Then white walls. A white bed sheet.

The percussive blows from the drum morphed into a steady beep. He turned his head to see the heart monitor flashing a green line. He became aware of the wires attached to his chest and arms. The IV drip injected into his arm.

He was in a hospital.

A gasp rose from the back of his sore throat. Every breath felt like he was swallowing crushed glass. He coughed and spluttered as he tried desperately to regain his bearings.

A nurse appeared in his peripheral. ''It's OK, Robert. You're in hospital. You came in with a pretty severe stab wound but you're going to be fine. Just rest.''

Robert willed his body to move. Every fibre of his being wanting Aaron beside him. He felt panic swell and settle on his chest as the last memory of being in the prison gym replayed in his mind. He had been there to protect Aaron. To take out both Jason and Murphy. To finally have Aaron completely safe from harm.

Waves of fear consumed him. He needed to know if Aaron was safe. That he was protected. However the fight and energy in his debilitated body dwindled rapidly. Exhaustion claimed him and he slipped back into a morphine induced sleep needing the time and rest to heal.

....................

Aaron was lost in the nightmare.

All he could see was a large pool of blood that kept getting bigger and deeper with Robert sinking into it like quicksand. The man that he was so familiar with, who carried himself with confidence looked so fragile laying on the ground all alone. He tried to reach him even on buckling legs. He resorted to crawling on his hands and knees, but as he got within inches of Robert he was dragged away. His flailing limbs subdued as he fought against the restraints. He begged and pleaded for them to let him go. For them, for someone, for anyone to help Robert.

He had been pinned against the wall and his horror filled eyes honed in on Robert between the masses of people and chaos. He looked so small crumpled up on the floor. His long legs folded. Strong arms limp. The tips of his blonde locks now stained red. Just as he was forced out of the gym he saw the prisons Doctor and nurse rush in from the alternative entrance. With his final glance he looked at Robert and silently begged him to hold on.

Stuffed into his box on E-wing he had pleaded with the officers to update him on Robert's condition as they locked him inside.

Every minute felt like an hour. Every hour felt like a day.

His yelling fell on deaf ears. His fist pummelling on the steel door was ignored. It briefly occurred to him that his emotional reaction could raise significant suspicion from both officers and inmates alike. His actions could put a spotlight on his and Robert's relationship. Questions may be asked. Ones that could be hard to answer. And Aaron realised he didn't have room to care. Any fear was superseded by the need to know Robert was alive. That he hadn't lost the love of his life.

So Aaron paced frantically like a caged animal until the floor started to wear away and his calves burned. His voice was hoarse and his fists throbbed. Eventually he fell back into the concrete wall, sliding slowly to the ground in defeat. His hope followed soon after.

Darkness fell.

He was overtaken by shadow. The depressing black infiltrated his heart and soul. The shadows that he had fought all his life reemerged and wreaked their havoc on his psyche. He stared into the sable blackness of the room. Every memory of Robert and he started to twist until it snapped. Everything that they created together, all that they had experienced together, all the precious moments they had together was now tainted. All of them lead to the moment of Robert being stabbed...and it was all his fault.

Robert had only been there to protect him. Robert concocted the plan so he would be safe. Robert put himself in harms way to save his life. Now Aaron had to live with that. He had to live with the guilt. It rained down in a thunderstorm. Thrashing winds and crashes of lightning.

The future that he desired had been ripped away and torn to shreds. The love of his life had been killed. And Robert's blood was on his hands. He never had the chance to say goodbye. To cradle Robert in his arms. To hold his hand. To whisper his undying love into his ear. To have the final kiss goodbye.

Aaron became so lost in a world of guilt that he didn't hear the key slide into the lock or the cell door creak open. It wasn't until the light switched on and the darkness retreated that he looked up to see Harriet stood above him.

''I heard you were there when Mr. Sugden got stabbed,'' Harriet said as she crouched down to his level. ''I also heard from the officers that you seemed concerned about him.''

Aaron could sense it. That the moment had arrived where he would learn that Robert had died. That he had gone. That his soulmate had left the world without him.

He found himself panic stricken and desperate to close out the world. To push Harriet away and barricade himself in his cell so he would never have to hear those words. He didn't want it to be real. And the moment someone would tell him that Robert died it would be real.

''We got an update about ten minutes ago from the hospital and he made it, Aaron. The knife luckily missed all major organs and arteries. He did lose a lot of blood and had to have emergency surgery but he'll make a full recovery.''

The heavy weight that had settled on his chest lightened. The constriction around his heart loosened. The hole in his heart repaired.

Robert was still alive. He was still with him and that was all that mattered. From the moment Robert Sugden stepped into his life he had been flashes of neon across the stark black canvas that had been Aaron's life and the darkness could do nothing but retreat now that Aaron's light had returned.

................................

Further information on Robert's condition had been scarce. It had been nearly a week since Harriet's late night visit and Aaron had practically bitten his nails right down to the skin until they were bloody stubs as he tried to control the nervous energy racing inside. He needed to see Robert. He needed to hear Robert's voice. He needed to have Robert back in his arms.

Then at dinner he finally overhead some news from the screws that Robert had been released from hospital two nights ago and returned home to convalesce. Aaron had barely touched his meal and rushed back to his cell to route around his special hiding place to unearth the tattered, dusty and crumpled piece of paper that had Robert's phone number scribbled onto it.

Aaron made sure to be at the front of the queue for the phones. Every night the inmates were allowed an hour from 7pm to call their friends and family and it wasn't often that Aaron found himself lining up. In fact there had only ever been two people he had called before his mum and Robert's house all those months ago when he was still with Chrissie. It still brought a smile to his face when he recalled Robert turning up and giving him his mobile number instead. He hadn't had to use it before considering they found plenty of time to be with each other within the walls of HMP Hotten. But now Aaron was bouncing eagerly to hit every number and hear Robert's soft voice in his ear once again.

Every ring felt like an eternity. One, two, three, four, five. Just as his heart started to sink the line crackled, he heard a soft breath and then he heard Robert's voice and he beamed into the plastic phone.

''Hey,'' Aaron whispered.

''Aaron? Are you alright? I've been so worried.''

''You're asking me that?'' Aaron scoffed as he looked back over his shoulder at the gaggle of inmates still waiting to make their own call. He was well aware that the phone call couldn't be long and he wouldn't be able to say all the things he wanted to due to the surroundings, but he it was enough just to hear Robert. ''I wasn't the one that got stabbed.''

''I'm fine,'' He heard Robert chuckle. ''I'll be back in no time.''

''Don't rush back,'' Aaron ordered.

''Since when did you get so bossy?''

''I just want you to take it easy, okay?'' Aaron clarified. Despite wanting to have Robert physically in front of him he didn't want him to return at the expense of his health and recuperation.

''Are you not missing me then?''

''Of course I am.''

''Good because I'm missing you so much.''

Aaron felt a familiar warmth spread through him and chase away the chill that had settled in him over last few days. ''Do you know when you'll be back?''

''Doctor said another week, but forget about me are you doing okay? I talked to Fenwick and he told me Jason and the gang would be kept in solitary until they went to court and that Murphy had been fired.''

''Yeah, he told me the same. I'm doing fine just focus on you, okay?'' Aaron shook his head with a warm smile at Robert still being focused on him when he was recovering from a knife wound. He was an idiot, but he was Aaron's idiot. Suddenly Aaron was jostled by the inmate behind him and turned to see the guy giving him the hurry up sign. ''I erm...can't really talk...''

''Lots of eavesdroppers, huh?''

''Yeah, you know what it's like,'' Aaron laughed quietly. ''I should go...but you know?''

''I know.''

................................

The following morning after breakfast Aaron returned to his cell not paying any attention as he walked straight in to tidy up the mess on top of his bedside locker and make his bed. Ever since hearing Robert's voice he felt anchored once more. He managed to sleep properly for the first time since Robert had got hurt and he felt refreshed. The only negative was now that he had heard the soft, familiar tones of Robert's voice he was now yearning to have Robert's physical presence back as well.

Aaron had never experienced a longing of such magnitude before. He was no stranger of missing his mum. Of missing the rest of the Dingles and Paddy. Of missing Emmerdale village. Of missing the routine of his old life. But having Robert missing from his life lately had consumed him with longing.

He felt on top of the world every morning when Robert would sneak into his cell just to see him and give him a kiss. He missed the butterflies that swarmed together with their giant wings in his stomach waiting for work detail to commence so he could be alone for hours with Robert.

Without Robert's constant presence he felt hollow, and as if a piece of himself had been amputated. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, had taken ownership of his heart like theirs had.

''Hi.''

Aaron whirled around stopping dead in his tracks. The moment he heard that one syllable he recognised that voice and his heart sped up and the butterflies began to swoop and glide. Aaron beamed at the sight of Robert stood in the corner of his cell next to the door. He must've been hiding and waiting for him to return from breakfast.

''Surprise!'' Robert smirked with a cheeky grin.

''Rob,'' Aaron whispered reverently. His feet moved slowly. Almost scared that Robert was just a figment of his imagination and the moment he crossed the room he would vanish.

''Are you not pleased to see me?''

Suddenly his body seemed to switch on and he rushed forward closing the small gap between them and crushed his lips against Robert's trying to pour every ounce of longing, devotion and love into it. His arms encircled Robert pushing their bodies together tightly until Robert hissed and pulled away with a wince.

''Oh shit, sorry!'' Aaron apologised profusely realising his error. He had gotten far too caught up in having Robert back with him that he momentarily forgot about the injury his boyfriend carried.

''Don't be,'' Robert smiled as he reached for Aaron's hand and pulled him back close. ''I'm fine, just pulled on the stitches is all.''

''What are you doing back? You said last night you're meant to be off for another week!''

''Well I missed you too much, didn't I?'' Robert answered smoothly with the cocky attitude Aaron was used to. ''Should I leave and go back home?''

''Don't you dare!'' Aaron warned before pecking at his lips and snuggling into his boyfriends neck. ''I missed you so much. I'm so sorry, Rob.''

Robert pushed at Aaron's shoulder so he could look him in the eye. ''What are you sorry for you?'' He asked confounded.

''I dragged you into my mess.'' Aaron's eyes strayed away from him and the tears pooled. ''It's my fault you got hurt. Jason was after me. He wanted me dead.''

Robert rose Aaron's chin with his thumb so he could meet his gaze. ''It's not your fault, you didn't stab me.''

''But you were only there because of me.'' Aaron sniffed as the tears ran down his cheeks. ''It should've been me!''

''I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, Aaron. Where you go, I go.'' Robert wiped away Aaron's tears and kissed his forehead. ''And I'm glad it wasn't you because I would've lost my mind and ended up in the cell next door.''

Aaron chuckled before turning serious again. ''So you don't blame me?''

''Not for a second,'' Robert replied instantly. ''So you can stop thinking that right now.''

Robert curled his arms around Aaron's waist urging him into a hug that stretched for some time, both finding the comfort they had needed in each others embrace. Eventually Aaron took a step back and looked into Robert's beautiful green eyes; the memory of them looking vacant that day in the gym finally fading from his mind and he started to unbutton Robert's shirt.

Robert looked at Aaron with confusion but made no move to stop him. With Robert's pale skin uncovered Aaron caressed gently down from his chest, running over each ridge of his rib cage down to the wound. There was a large dressing that Aaron peeled back delicately and he felt his heart stop as he was reminded how close he came to losing Robert.

Aaron locked eyes with Robert as he traced gently over the injury with his finger tips. Robert's breath staggered and he gripped onto Aaron's shoulders firmly as his lover bent forward and placed soft kisses along the scar crushing the pain and agony that accompanied it and replaced it with care and love.

...................................

The first day back in the madhouse that was HMP Hotten had been arduous and had taken more out of Robert than he believed it would. He always figured he was rather resilient and strong but come midday he was surprised by how much his wounded body was struggling.

At 4pm he admitted defeat and threw in the white towel. All the reports and emails that had accumulated during his short stint away would have to wait a little longer as the fatigue was too much to bear. Besides the little amount work he had finished was an accomplishment anyway considering he wasn't scheduled to return to work for at least another week. In fact Nurse Laurel had even popped into his office to persuade him to go home and stay there. She hadn't been his only visitor either. He had been swamped with well wishers ranging from the officers on his wing, to fellow wing governors, to Harriet. Although there was an obvious exception that being the Governor. Robert was grateful the last thing he wanted to deal with was Lawrence's false get well soon wishes.

As he cleared up his desk and slowly managed to slip his arms into his coat the phone rang. He toyed with ignoring it, his weak legs a stark reminder of how tired he truly was, but instead he snatched at the telephone. He was soon glad that he did.

Once the call ended he contacted Fenwick and asked him to bring Dingle to his office. Five minutes later the knock came and Aaron stood on the opposite side of his desk. Robert dismissed Fenwick after informing him that he would be leaving soon and for him to run the wing again in his absence.

''Is everything alright?'' Aaron asked as the door closed and Fenwick disappeared.

Robert rounded the desk and stood in front of Aaron with an excited smile on his face that made his eyes sparkle. ''More than alright.''

''What is it?''

Robert linked their fingers together and pecked Aaron on the lips. ''I just got a phone call from Miss Snow, your appeal date has been set. It's next month, Aaron.''

''Next month?'' Aaron stuttered. He couldn't believe it. It was finally happening...he could dare to dream.

''One more month and then you'll be home. You'll be with me.''

The future they both wanted so badly was on the horizon and approaching fast. They had been through so much together since they crashed into each others lives and now they nearly had it all. Robert's arms came around Aaron's waist and he nuzzled against Aaron's nose.

''I wouldn't be here without you.'' Aaron's hands stroked along Robert's arms and he smiled so brightly. The future he dreamed of with Robert was finally in reach. ''I love you.''

''I love you too.''

Their lips met. Strong hands clung to hips. Fingers slid and gripped onto fabric. They held each other close, their bodies melting into one. The world disappeared leaving just them in each others orbit until it all came rushing back.

They had no time to hit the brakes. No chance to avoid the collision. They smashed hard into the wall with concrete and bricks crashing down on them. They were left mangled together in the wreckage with Harriet looking on frozen in the doorway.

......................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry! 
> 
> *hides again*
> 
> If you wish you can follow(and call me names) on Twitter @brokenspell77


	22. The Long Goodbye

 

It was the morning after the night before and Robert hovered outside the office with anxiety dripping from every pore. Fear of the unknown made sleep an impossibility and he was desperate to know what Harriet would do now that she had discovered his relationship with Aaron.

Harriet's disapproving stare and slack jaw had pinned both Robert and Aaron to the spot with neither knowing the best way to approach the subject. There was no way that they could wriggle free from the mess. The damage was done. Harriet had disappeared from the doorway in a flash and for a moment Robert had pondered if she were there at all given the brevity of her appearance, but one look back at Aaron's panicked face assured him that she wasn't a mirage and that their relationship being uncovered was going to be a massive issue that could blow up in their faces.

At the crack of dawn Robert had got to the prison. He hadn't slept all night. He found himself staring up at the ceiling imagining possible conversations with Harriet in his head. Wondering if he could persuade her to keep her mouth shut. A naive belief that maybe she would bury her head in the sand and pretend she saw nothing. That interlude was brief as Robert knew Harriet to be a woman with such strong principles, there wasn't a chance that she would stand by and do nothing.

Harriet appeared and they locked eyes immediately. Robert could see her tense at his mere presence and he knew that a tough conversation was about to commence. As she unlocked her office door she blanked Robert clearly wishing for him to leave. However Robert couldn't ignore this and had to at least try to prevent her from fucking everything up. After all the pain, the heartache, the bravery, it couldn't all be for nothing.

''Harriet, please.'' Robert begged as he stopped the door from closing in his face. ''I just want to explain.''

''Explain? What is there to explain, Robert?'' Harriet fired at him. ''What I saw was completely inappropriate and you know it or else you wouldn't be here.''

''Please, just hear me out?'' Robert pleaded. ''Five minutes that's all I'm asking for.''

With great reluctance Harriet yielded and gestured for Robert to come in. They sat in opposite chairs and Robert felt unnerved at the predicament. He felt as if he was in session and she was analysing every movement and word. She probably was. Probably always did. He wondered if anyone in that field could ever switch that off.

''I suggest you start talking because your five minutes started the moment I closed that door,'' Harriet said with an unfamiliar ice to her tone.

''What you saw between Aaron and I it's not what you think...''

''And what do I think?'' Harriet interjected.

''That I'm taking advantage,'' Robert answered. He knew everyone would hold that opinion. That they would degrade their relationship and he found that angered him beyond belief. That anyone would turn what they feel for each other into something sordid made his blood boil. ''I love Aaron. I'd never ever hurt him or take advantage.''

''But you are taking advantage, Robert.'' Harriet argued. ''I know that isn't your intention but you are a prison officer. You hold a position of trust and authority and you've crossed a line!''

''What are you gonna do?'' Robert dreaded the answer, but he needed to ensure Aaron bore no consequence. He'd much rather throw himself in the line of fire than have Aaron take the bullet.

''I don't know, I haven't decided. However I cannot allow it to carry on.''

''Please just leave Aaron out of this. He's been so brave and I don't want his appeal jeopardised,'' Robert was willing to get on his knees and beg if he had to. Seeing Aaron tearing himself to pieces due to Gordon's actions had been heartbreaking enough, but for it all to have meant nothing would be too much for him to bare. Let alone what it would do to Aaron.

''I can't control what happens...''

''You can, Harriet, don't report it!''

Harriet scoffed. ''That would work out well for you wouldn't it?''

''I don't give a shit about me!'' Robert snapped his fear speaking for him. He tried to manage his tone and calm down, but so much was on the line. ''This is about Aaron. You know how much he's struggled. All that he's been through. He's so close to getting out of here are you really going to take that away from him?''

''Did you think of any of that when you started this relationship with him?'' Harriet found herself caught between understanding and anger. Robert's argument felt as though he was using Aaron and his tragic past against her, however his words held so much water. She didn't want Aaron to have to rot in prison not after all he'd endured.

''I didn't know at that time.''

''How long have you been seeing one another?''

''Nearly a year,'' Robert answered. A year that despite all the grit and terror that a prison provided it had been the best year of his life.

Harriet was stunned by the revelation. She had been suspicious for a while, or at least believed Aaron held an attraction toward Robert at the very least when he revealed he agreed to counselling sessions with her because of Officer Sugden. Then Robert appeared to be so protective of Aaron and her suspicions heightened. Any time she travelled down that route though she would talk herself out of it. Tell herself that there was nothing going on, but now she knew that wasn't true.

''I won't report what I saw,'' Harriet said. Despite her strong beliefs and condemning their relationship she wouldn't feel comfortable in destroying Aaron's chances at freedom. ''But you can't stay here.''

The relief inside Robert quickly vanished. ''What? What do you mean?''

''I can't let this continue, Robert. You need to hand in your resignation or I will have to report you. I'll try and keep Aaron's name out of it, but you cannot continue working in HMP Hotten.''

''I can't. I can't leave Aaron.''

''I'll keep an eye on him.''

Robert's tempered flared and he struggled to control his impulse to yell and intimidate. To try and find a loop hole, but there wasn't one. And deep down he knew Harriet didn't deserve to be treated in such a manner. He knew she was a good person and despite the undesirable ultimatum it seemed to be the best possible outcome.

''I'll resign after Aaron's appeal,'' Robert promised.

Harriet shook her head. ''And what if it's not successful? What if Aaron has to come straight back here and serve his full sentence? Then will you leave?''

That thought had been banished from his mind once the appeal date had been set. Robert had radiated positivity. He wanted Aaron to be positive, to draw strength from him, to not dwell on what he could lose and instead focus on what he could gain. He wanted to distract Aaron from what awaited him, make him forget that he would have to take the stand and relive what Gordon had inflicted upon him.

Harriet could see it written all over his face that he wouldn't be able to leave Aaron. ''You need to leave now, Robert. Aaron needs to get used to being without you in case his appeal fails.''

''I can't leave him here,'' Robert cried. ''I promised I'd be there every step of the way. Please just give me a month.''

''No, I'm sorry but I can't. It will be harder to leave after the appeal than before it, Robert. This is the only offer I can make. It's your choice.''

Robert nodded his head in defeat. ''Can I have until the end of the week?''

Harriet nodded her approval and Robert stood with his head bowed and shoulders hunched. Every step making the voice grow louder and louder. It echoed in his head. Taunting him. Reminding him that he had let Aaron down.

....................................

Accepting his fate Robert instantly bit the bullet and typed up his resignation. He couldn't tell Aaron yet, if he did he knew he would struggle even more to leave him behind, but he had to resign. He had to do this first.

With a hastily written letter he stormed through the prisons halls and straight into Lawrence's office. He knew the old codger would take great satisfaction in him leaving and due to the reasons for his departure and knowing what he'd be forced to leave behind he wanted to avoid any encounter with Lawrence. His gloating would likely stoke the angry flames burning in Robert's blood.

Lawrence wasn't sat at his desk and the entire office was empty and he breathed a sigh of relief at dodging a confrontation. He slapped the sheet of A4 onto the desk with anger simmering beneath his skin. His aim to leave without seeing Lawrence however was snatched away as he waltzed right into his office stopping in his tracks the moment he saw Robert.

''What are you doing in here?''

''I was just leaving,'' Robert replied vaguely as he made to leave.

''What's this?'' Lawrence questioned as he picked up the letter. A gleeful smirk crossed his features as he scanned the document. ''You're leaving. What a shame.''

''I knew you'd be happy,'' Robert said with an Aaron inspired roll of the eyes.

''I'm surprised it took you so long to realise you couldn't hack it.'' Lawrence sniped. ''After all you're renowned for giving up, aren't you?''

''How do you figure? Because I gave up on your spoilt little brat of a daughter and your fucked up family?'' Robert retorted. He was well verse in verbal sparring with Lawrence and he'd already lost one battle today he wasn't about to lose another.

''I told Chrissie time and time again that she could do better than you and now look at her engaged to be married. And you? What exactly do you have, Robert?''

Robert knew that was supposed to hurt. Meant to pierce a hole in his armour, but he found himself with a genuine smile beaming across his face. ''I've got plenty of money in the bank, a new house and I've found my soulmate. You know you're always so keen to talk and meddle in Chrissie's life Larry, but what about yours?''

''I beg your pardon?''

''Well Chrissie's hardly going to be around much once she's married is she? Lachlan's already distanced himself from the both of you. Rebecca disappeared years ago. So I guess that just leaves you all by yourself. Nothing but a lonely old man with one foot in the grave.''

''It's such a shame Cook didn't finish you off when he had the chance!'' Lawrence snarled viciously. ''I would've loved for him to put you out of your misery.''

Robert held his arms out to the side goading Lawrence to throw a punch. Robert would welcome a show of physicality it may extinguish the anger still burning away. ''Take your best shot old man.''

''I'd rather not get my hands dirty. You aren't worth my time or energy boy,'' Lawrence barked back. ''I have all I could ever want. I'm successful and I want for nothing. I'm a very wealthy man, Robert, so don't try and act like your life is better than mine.''

''That you are,'' Robert nodded. ''But you see I've learned money doesn't matter. I've got what really matters. Tell me who's gonna be there for you, Lawrence? You haven't even got Ronnie anymore, do you?''

''Don't you dare?'' Lawrence warned with an angry glare and pointed finger.

''Guess that's my fault. Although with me gone I guess your dirty little secret goes with it, doesn't it?'' Robert teased. ''That would be rather unethical of me though wouldn't it? Maybe I should inform a trustworthy individual about what you get up to in this office...''

Robert smirked at seeing the fear in Lawrence's eyes and pleased with his final victory he backed out of the office happy in the knowledge that the White family would soon be nothing but a distant memory. He was closing that chapter of his life for good. And he wouldn't just be opening a new chapter he would be starting an entire new book with Aaron right by his side.

......................................

''So what did Harriet say? What is she gonna do?''

Robert had barely got through the cell door before Aaron was walking toward him with his questions. He had dark circles under his eyes and he appeared so weary and dragged down with worry. Robert wished he could alleviate it. Wanted to banish it all away. To come up with a solution that wouldn't leave Aaron sat alone in this cell staring at the same four walls.

''She's agreed not to say anything,'' Robert saw the early signs of relief all over Aaron's features and he couldn't allow him to have hope for it to be snatched away so he forged on in a rush of words and syllables. ''But I have to leave.''

''What?'' Aaron shook his head as if willing away the truth. ''You can't. Maybe she'll change her mind. I can talk to her...''

''No, Aaron,'' Robert interrupted. ''You can't it could make things worse. I already negotiated to get her out of telling Lawrence and the board of directors. At least this way your appeal is safe.''

''Rob...''

''That's all that matters to me, Aaron. You deserve to be out of here. I want you out of here with me. If me leaving doesn't jeopardise that then that's what I've gotta do.''

''But I can't do this without you.''

Tears welled in Aaron's eyes and Robert wrapped him up in his arms. ''You're not losing me. I'll write to you and you can ring me every day. And next month I'll be there in court supporting you and waiting for you. I promise.''

''Promises don't mean much in here,'' Aaron sniffed as he melted into Robert's body, not caring how brittle he appeared. He wanted the comfort. And he'd take it for as long as he had it available.

''Well it means something when it comes from me,'' Robert swore. ''I love you, Aaron. I don't see a future without you in it.''

''I love you too.'' Aaron tilted his chin up and kissed Robert. As their lips parted he took a step back, fingertips not leaving the warmth of Robert's body until the very last second. ''You should stay away me, Robert.''

''What?''

''Everything I touch I burn to the ground.''

Robert was flabbergasted, he took a step closer and his heart broke as Aaron took another away from him. ''Aaron, don't do this.''

''The appeal might fail. I could be sent straight back here. This will be my life for another twenty years and I'm not gonna drag you down with me,'' Aaron wiped roughly at his face rubbing away the tear tracks that streamed down his cheeks. ''You deserve a life, Robert. A proper one out there and away from this place.''

Robert shook his head vehemently and crowded Aaron back into the corner of the claustrophobic cell. ''I do deserve a life away from here and so do you. The only life I want is with you, Aaron. Just you. So can you stop being so stubborn and realise you are it for me. I'm not leaving you. I never will.''

''But the appeal...''

''If it fails then we'll try again. And again if necessary. I won't give up! And neither will you!'' Robert told him with a fierce passion that made Aaron fall in love with him all the more. ''And if you do burn everything to the ground then I'll burn right along with you.''

Aaron smiled and kissed Robert's succulent lips. He pressed his forehead to Robert's and just breathed him in. Committing his scent, the sound of his breathing, the taste of his lips to memory. ''How long?''

''I've got until the end of the week,'' Robert answered with regret. From the moment Harriet had appeared in the office doorway he had been blaming himself. The one time he forgot to lock the door. He was careless and now Aaron had to get through the toughest time of his life without him there to look after and support him.

''I should stay out of your way then I guess,'' Aaron begrudgingly admitted. It would certainly be the safest option, but not the option that his heart wanted. The moment Robert told him he had just a week left he could sense the clock counting down the days, minutes, seconds until Robert would leave.

''Not a chance,'' Robert insisted, but knew they would have to more careful than ever now that Harriet would keep a keen eye on them both. ''I'm quite happy with you being in my way.''

......................................

Aaron had promised Robert that he wouldn't approach Harriet and he would accept the fate that had been handed them, but temptation came knocking when he had a counselling session scheduled on Robert's penultimate day of working at HMP Hotten.

Harriet had taken vacation days and had been missing all week. Meanwhile Aaron had been chomping at the bit to talk to her, to attempt to reason with her, to make it crystal clear that Robert hadn't taken advantage and that what they had wasn't sordid or taboo. He wanted to prove to her that he loved Robert and he went into the relationship with eyes wide open and not once had Robert pressured him. He hated the thought of anyone having a negative opinion of Robert when all he had done the entire time he had known him was protect him, keep him safe and love him.

The second they were alone in Harriet's office Aaron addressed the elephant in the room. He didn't want to beat around the bush, after all time wasn't on his side as Robert would be gone soon. ''Please don't do this, Harriet. Robert hasn't done anything wrong.''

''Aaron stop. I can't stand by and allow it to continue no matter what you say. Robert took advantage of his position.''

''But I wanted to be with him. He didn't take advantage. He loves me! I know it!''

''I'm not arguing that you didn't want to be with him, Aaron. I had my suspicions that you had feelings for him from our early sessions, but the fact is a prison officer cannot have inappropriate relations with an inmate and Robert crossed that line.''

''Please...I need him here,'' Aaron begged. ''I can't do this without him.''

''If Robert hadn't chosen to leave I would've had to have taken this further, Aaron. That would've meant Robert being in serious trouble and your appeal gone in a flash. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but it's the best one for the both of you. Surely you can see that?''

Aaron reluctantly nodded. He wished he didn't have to say goodbye to Robert the following day, but he supposed he should be grateful that he still had his appeal and Robert wouldn't be in any trouble.

''Just focus on your appeal,'' Harriet advised. ''And with any luck you'll be out of this place and you and Robert can be together properly.''

That was all Aaron wanted.

........................

It was Robert's final day. He cared little for making sure his work was in a satisfactory state to hand over to his successor and instead had focused the entire day on Aaron. He had created their own little world inside his office, reminiscent of the Christmas Day they spent together. Whilst lacking decorations and a tree this time Robert made sure to make it special.

Early that morning he made it clear he didn't want to be disturbed and for Fenwick to take charge of the wing. He would be doing the day to day stuff in the interim until Lawrence found a replacement anyway so what was one day extra in the grand scheme of things? Besides Robert had more important matters at hand which was to spend as much time with Aaron as possible.

He had pulled the couch further into the room, but made sure to keep it pressed against the shorter wall. He rolled out a soft and thick blanket over the carpet behind the couch and there was plenty of cushions scattered about for them to be comfortable. He draped another blanket from the back of the couch to the back wall and pinned in place with heavy objects in the window sill. It resembled a den that he often used to make with his mother when he was little. It made him wish for Sarah to still be alive so that she could meet Aaron. They would get on. He was sure of it.

When he fetched Aaron from his cell and they entered the office Aaron stopped dead in his tracks and looked at him astonished. ''I wanted today to be special. Well as special as we could get in prison anyway.'' He explained.

Aaron pulled him in close and caught his lips in a passionate clinch. His heart swelled in his chest. Even now when he was losing his job Robert still put him first. Still went out of his way to make him happy. ''I love you. How did I get so lucky?''

''I'm the lucky one,'' Robert replied as he snuggled into the crook of Aaron's neck placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin below his ear.

They held each other. Not wanting to let go. Mapping their hands over each others backs and shoulders. Wanting to remember what if felt like to be in each others arms. Slowly Robert pulled back and guided Aaron toward the den entrance.

''Sorry I couldn't get any beer or food this time.''

''I'm sure we can think of something to fill the time,'' Aaron smirked as he bit at his bottom lip knowing full well it drove his boyfriend crazy.

It garnered the desired effect as Robert's large hands gripped his hips tugging him into his taller frame as their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss. Fingers curled into fabric and Aaron's maroon jumper and t-shirt were tugged over his head and discarded without care onto the floor. More clothes soon followed until both were led down naked within their makeshift den. Bodies entwined and needy hands gliding over all that they could reach.

Robert rustled under a cushion producing lube and a condom that Aaron snatched from his grasp. He forced Robert onto his back and straddled his hips with a devilish grin. He opened the cap, spread lube onto his fingers and slid the first into his eager hole. He rocked back against Robert teasing his erection as it slid between his ass cheeks. Robert's hands clamped down on his hips so hard and Aaron hoped it would leave marks. If he couldn't have Robert with him physically he could carry the memories of him on his skin at least.

After stretching himself with two fingers Aaron rolled the condom onto Robert's throbbing dick and positioned himself in Robert's lap as he took in inch after inch that sent tendrils of pleasure shooting up his spine, they coursed through his body and settled in his dick that twitched in ecstasy as he felt the last inch slip inside.

Robert's pupils were blown wide, completely enthralled with the beauty that was before him. Aaron's body was perfect. It was heaven and Robert felt his entire body was on fire as he bucked his hips.

Aaron shook his head at him and pinned him back down. ''Careful. You're still recovering remember? So let me do the work.''

Robert nearly fell apart then and there when Aaron beamed at him before winking. Aaron's pace was gentle and languid and Robert was thankful. He was certain his body could withstand a more vigorous speed, but he wanted to savour the feeling. Wanted to remember every contour of Aaron's body. He wanted to be able to envisage the moment perfectly in his head for all the nights to come that he would be without him.

Aaron could feel the heavy weight of Robert's gaze running all over his body. For so long he would shy away from such scrutiny, but with Robert he felt confident. He felt comfortable. He felt completely loved. Any inhibitions he had ever harboured had evaporated in Robert's presence and he released sensuous moans as Robert's dick found his spot.

Robert was mesmerised by Aaron. From the flush on his cheeks to the sheen on his chest, the bright sparkle that made his eyes glow even brighter, the reddened bottom lip caught between his teeth and the sultry and breathless moans that escaped, the soft swell of Aaron's ass within his palms and the sight of Aaron's full and heavy dick slapping off his own abdomen that smeared pre-cum over him. His body tingled and his toes curled and he couldn't hold back any longer and he repeatedly moaned Aaron's name like a cherished prayer as he came. Aaron followed a few moments later with his cum leaving pools of cum across their bodies.

As their breathing evened out and the lust filled haze dissipated reality set in. They only had a few hours left. Aaron rose to his knees and Robert's softening dick slipped free. The condom was disposed off and they settled back down with Aaron snuggled close into Robert's warmth, their fingers interlocked and Aaron placing soft kisses against his boyfriends toned chest.

''I'm scared, Robert.'' Aaron whispered so quietly into Robert's sweat damp skin. ''You've given me two things I've never had before and now I'm scared I'll lose it all.''

''What are you scared of losing?'' Robert kept his voice soft and gentle all the while running his slender fingers through Aaron's curls in comfort.

''Hope. From the minute I fell for you I had hope. Hope of being happy. Of having a future. Of getting out of this dump.'' Aaron buried further into Robert's chest and breathed a little easier when he felt reassuring arms holding him tightly.

''What was the second thing?''

''Love,'' Aaron said as he lifted his head to meet Robert's gaze. A solemn look shared and reflected in each others eyes. ''You gave me love. Made me feel loved. Made me feel it for someone after so long. I don't wanna lose that. I don't wanna lose you.''

''Not gonna happen,'' Robert replied fiercely, determined to have Aaron believe that he wasn't going anywhere. No matter the outcome. No matter what the future held for them. Robert would always be there. ''I love you so much. I'll never stop.''

''I want a life outside of here. I don't want to die in this fucking place. I want to be with you. I want a life with you.'' Aaron poured all the love, affection and devotion into his words wanting Robert to fully understand the impact he had had on his life. He wanted him to know in case there wasn't another chance.

''That's all I want,'' Robert said as he stroked a thumb along Aaron's bearded jaw. ''And we'll have it. You can do this. One month, that's all and then you'll be with me.''

Aaron nodded wiping at the tears that threatened to fall. ''Are you scared? You never seem scared?''

''I've been scared. I am scared,'' Robert knew he needed be a pillar of strength for Aaron, but the moment felt so raw, so meaningful that he couldn't lie. ''I'm scared that you'll be made to come back here. That something could happen to you. I was scared when I was stabbed and that I'd have to leave you behind.''

''Yeah?'' Aaron asked as he tightened his arms around Robert's frame wanting to give the comfort back that Robert so freely gave him.

Robert nodded and rested his chin on Aaron's head. ''But none of it is the scariest moment of my life though.''

''What's the scariest?''

''When I kissed you.''

''Am I that ugly?'' Aaron joked his head jostled on Robert's chest as his lover chuckled.

''You're gorgeous and you know it,'' Robert replied and tickled at Aaron's side playfully. ''I thought you might punch me in the face.''

It was now Aaron's turn to laugh. He looked up to see the earnest look on Robert's face and he couldn't resist kissing his lips again. ''I wanted to kiss you so badly back then. I always do.''

''That's a relief,'' Robert whispered against his lips.

Aaron settled back down on Robert's chest listening contentedly to the rhythmic beat of his heart. ''What's the best thing you've ever done?''

''Kiss you.''

The long goodbye would come. But for now they had each other and they would cling to that for as long as they possibly could.

....................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nooooo the boys are forced apart! I'm guessing Harriet won't be too popular right now, but she really was in a difficult position and made the best call that was possible without breaking her principles. Not gonna lie I got a little emotional writing this chapter. To be honest it doesn't take a lot for those two to break my heart! I hope I managed to get you all emotional too...cos I'm slightly cruel! LOL.
> 
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> Thank you for reading and if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	23. Longing and Letters

 

**7 days without Robert.**

Aaron willed for time to rush by in the blink of an eye. For the pressure of the appeal to be a distant memory and have Robert back. He believed he should feel silly or weak to feel so reliant on Robert's presence to help him through the days inside HMP Hotten, but instead he wore it with pride. Robert had become everything to him. He was the only person to come into his life that had stuck by him through thick and thin. He'd never abandoned him or forgot about him. Robert was anchor and being without him for seven days had already been a hardship. Without his anchor Aaron felt adrift, being carried along by currents and threatened to be dragged beneath the surface at any moment.

Panic had made itself home within the confines of his chest and along with it came sleepless nights and a sombre mood. Every night whilst staring into the pitch black he wished to hear Robert's soothing tone. For his reassurance and the comfort that came with it. He was longing for the kiss that would be waiting for him every morning. Without all that he felt increasingly empty at every passing day.

He called Robert every single night, rushing the minute the phones opened to be at the front of the queue, but it wasn't the same. Having Robert in front of him, having his eyes on him and his arms around him as he whispered encouragement into his ear was missing and Aaron never realised quite how much he coveted it until it was gone. He had every intention of telling Robert exactly what he meant to him and how he felt if he ever got the chance. So much rested on his appeal being successful, but as the days moved on any positive outlook was fleeing from Aaron's mind and the shadows that marred his life were no longer in retreat and making their comeback.

They taunted and teased with the vision of a future he desired so badly, the future that stood just outside the prison walls. Every time he looked outside all he could see was concrete, steel bars and barbed wire and the shadows warned him that they would never release him from their grip. His idealistic future was nothing more than a dream.

''Hello, Aaron,'' The words shook Aaron free from the shadows hold as Miss Snow grabbed his attention as another scheduled meeting between them commenced. ''So I have an update on the case, but first I just want to make it clear you don't have to worry about your part of the appeal yet. I know the date seems close, but we've got time and we will have plenty of meetings for me to help you feel prepared and comfortable for when you take the stand, alright?''

''Okay,'' Aaron nodded trying desperately to find the right gear in his mind to focus. He couldn't allow himself to fall apart, he had to be on his game and ready to enter court in 3 weeks.

''Your testimony will obviously be the driving force of the appeal motion, and the prosecution will do all that they can to poke holes in your story, but don't ever let them get under your skin. The fact of the matter is Aaron is that you know what happened and what you're saying is the truth. Hold onto that and you'll be fine.''

''The judge might not believe me though?'' Aaron said with a sag in his shoulders. Every negative permutation that could happen was constantly swimming in his head and he couldn't stop it no matter how hard he tried.

''No case that I've taken can I go into the court room with absolute confidence, but Aaron yours is incredibly strong. Whilst your evidence will be the most compelling we also have Sandra who adds weight to your evidence with her being suspicious. Plus as of yesterday your prison counsellor Harriet Finch has agreed to support your case.''

''Harriet?'' Aaron queried. After everything that had happened in the last week he couldn't quite reconcile the fact that Harriet would step up in support of him. Truth be told he felt hostile towards her for sending Robert away.

''Miss Finch and I had been talking on and off for a month about her being a character witness as well as offering her insight as a qualified psychiatrist. Having her on our side could do wonders, Aaron.''

Miss Snow forged on with her plans which Aaron listened to eagerly with his spirit somewhat lifted. At least his lawyer seemed confident of the outcome, but he couldn't dare to dream. If he did and it was torn away from him he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to recover from that.

After nearly an hour their meeting came to a close, Aaron was being escorted back to the wing when he saw Harriet down the corridor. Ever since Robert's abrupt departure Aaron had been avoiding her, going as far as missing his counselling session which in hindsight didn't seem all that clever now he knew she would be testifying on his behalf. As they crossed paths he bit the bullet and asked if he could have a quick chat, and Harriet appeased the officer by promising to escort Aaron back to the wing herself.

''Do you want to make another appointment after missing your last one?'' Harriet queried with a hopeful lilt to her voice. She didn't like any patients ending their counselling so suddenly. It often led to all the hard work accomplished between them to come undone.

''Maybe, I dunno,'' Aaron stuttered finding himself tongue tied. He wanted to show gratitude after what Miss Snow had informed of, but he still felt that itch of resentment under his skin. ''I just had a meeting with my lawyer, she said you're helping with the appeal so I just wanted to say thanks that's all.''

''Right, well I felt I could help.'' Both could feel the tension and Harriet could see Aaron avoiding any eye contact and biting at his lip. ''I know you're not my biggest fan right now, Aaron, and I understand that but I did what I thought was best.''

''What you did wasn't for the best,'' Aaron breathed heavily trying to control his temper that threatened to explode. For seven days he had missed Robert and had to stew silently, he couldn't offload to anyone and the one person who he felt he could tell anything too was the one missing from his life. ''I need him.''

''I was in a difficult position, Aaron. Believe me when I say it wasn't an easy decision to make but I felt I made the best one I possibly could. I didn't want to hurt you. Or Robert for that matter.''

Aaron shook his head bitterly, he needed to cut this conversation off before he said something he would later regret. ''Well it's done now, innit? Anyway like I said before I just wanted to say thanks.''

''You're welcome.'' Harriet replied. She could see how Aaron was struggling. Could see how weary he looked. The tension between them was thick and bordering on a heated exchange that would do neither of them any good. Despite hating that she had hurt Aaron she still felt as if she had to stick by her principles, but that never meant she didn't care and she made a promise to herself then and there that she would help Aaron through what she hoped would be his final few weeks in HMP Hotten. As they reached the large gate that opened out into the communal area of E-wing she whispered quietly, ''have you heard from him?''

Aaron stopped dead and looked her dead in the eye. He swallowed the anger down, but couldn't tell if she wanted to pour more salt on an already painful wound.

''I hate that I've hurt you, Aaron. I just hope that you still feel you can trust me. And I hope that you and Robert will be together outside of this place.'' Harriet swung the gate open for Aaron to walk inside, but he remained rooted to the spot.

''I ring him every night,'' Aaron admitted. ''It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.''

Harriet smiled warmly. ''I'm glad.''

Aaron didn't want to hate Harriet and deep down he didn't think he even did. She had been good to him, she had helped him and he could even understand the hardship she must've faced after finding out about he and Robert, and though the resentment still lingered he managed to let go of the anger. ''So I'll see you at my next appointment?''

''Absolutely.'' Harriet smiled with relief and before Aaron took off she grasped his arm to keep him close. ''I'm sure it's little comfort after everything that's happened but I can see what you mean to each other. What you have is special and I hope it all works out for you both.''

Aaron watched as she left the wing, giving her a genuinely warm smile before she disappeared. Despite the disappointment Aaron knew all too well people like Harriet came few and far between in the harsh world of prison. People like her were needed and he was grateful for her coming into his life. He probably wouldn't have made it so far without her.

.................................

**12 Days without Robert.**

Aaron was deeply on edge. His nails were being gnawed down to the skin as he waited anxiously in the visitation room. Ten minutes prior Harriet had rushed onto the wing to tell him he was late for visitation which confused him considerably as he had no visit scheduled that day. On the short journey through the prison Harriet whispered to him to follow her lead.

He had no clue whatsoever as to who he was waiting for. It wouldn't be his mum as she was visiting in a few days time. Meanwhile Robert wasn't an option as they had mutually agreed that a visit raise too much suspicion and risk.

Suddenly any wondering ceased when a young girl stopped at his table and said his name. With a dazed expression he nodded his confirmation and the youngster plonked herself down in the chair opposite.

''I don't mean to be rude but who are you?'' Aaron asked completely oblivious to the girls identity. She couldn't be any older than 16, her hair was up in a messy ponytail, she had rosy red cheeks and a black hoodie that looked a couple of sizes to big that engulfed her body.

''You don't remember?'' The young girl scoffed. ''Not that I'm surprised you never really cared about me.''

''What?'' Aaron couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity. That he should know her, but it was as if he was lost in a dense fog and couldn't find his way.

''You never looked for me after mum made us leave, did ya?''

Aaron's jaw hit the floor as it dawned on him that sat opposite him was his little sister that he hadn't seen in well over a decade. ''Liv?''

''You remember my name at least, I guess that's something.'' Liv replied as she glanced around the room with disgust. ''Can see you've gone up in the world.''

''What are you doing here? Where's Sandra?'' Aaron asked suddenly hyper aware that his sister was in a place he'd much rather she wasn't and Sandra was nowhere in sight.

''I'm here to see you obviously.'' Liv rolled her eyes as if that was the most obvious answer in the world and that her brother wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. ''Mum's at work not that she would care where I am anyway.''

''I'm sure that's not true,'' Aaron's head was spinning from the shock and he was desperate for it all to slow down so he could regain his bearings. ''Did you come here alone?''

''Yeah, bunked off school,'' Liv answered along with an attitude laden shrug.

Aaron felt as though he was treading on egg shells. Liv was practically an unknown entity. He had no clue as to what kind of person she had grown into and it made him nervous that he couldn't gauge where Liv's emotions fell as it related to him. After all Aaron had killer her father, did she know that? Did she know the full story? Did she know why he was locked up in prison to begin with?

Fear got the best of Aaron and he opted to divert around the subject. ''So how did you get here?''

''Hitchhiked,'' Liv shrugged again. ''It's no big deal.''

''Your fifteen, Liv, anything could've happened to you!'' Aaron's natural protective instincts came to the fore. A fifteen year old hitchhiking was a recipe for disaster, but that train of thought was derailed the moment Liv replied.

''What kind of murderer are you? You're well soft!''

Aaron was stunned into silence. So Liv knew at least some of the story. The part of the story that told her he was nothing more than a cold blooded killer. ''Liv, there's a lot of stuff you don't know...

''That you killed our Dad?'' Liv interrupted with a stoic look on her face. ''I think I do have a clue actually.''

''So what you're here to tell me to rot in hell?'' Aaron had often thought of being reunited with his little sister, but feared the reaction that he would get once she learned he had ended the life of their father. Now that fear was right standing right in front of him about to come true.

''I wished you dead when I found out. I hated you,'' Liv looked down at the table unable to meet Aaron's gaze as she continued. ''But then mum told me the whole story and I wanna know if it's true. Did he do those things to you?''

Aaron's heart sank. Liv was young, innocent and he didn't want to taint her life with the scars of his own, but then she finally met his eyes and he could see the need for answers. ''It's true.''

''So you killed him in self defence?''

''I'm not proud of it, but I just reacted and it happened so fast. I just couldn't let it happen again.'' Aaron watched on as Liv digested it all, but he couldn't define what emotions and feelings she was going through. He was out of practice, in fact he never got the chance to learn anything about her. Now he found himself wishing for freedom all the more so he could form a relationship with her too.

''I'm glad you killed him and that he didn't hurt you again. I hope he rots in hell.'' Liv stood up suddenly ready to leave.

''Wait! Where are you going?'' Aaron stood too, he couldn't let her just walk away just like that. ''You can't just leave now.''

'Liv nodded over to the clock. ''Time's almost up. Besides if I leave now I might get to school for lunch and avoid them calling up mum again.''

''You can't hitchhike back,'' Aaron urged.

''I didn't in the first place,'' Liv replied with a mischievous smirk. ''I got the bus.''

Aaron sighed with relief. It wasn't great, but it was a much safer option that getting in a strangers car. ''Maybe when I get out of here we could hang out? We can go to the cinema or something?''

''You really are soft.'' Liv smirked with sarcasm and patented teenage cheek. ''I'll be at the appeal so maybe we can talk then.''

And just as suddenly and unexpectedly as Liv had re-entered Aaron's life she left. Aaron was left standing in the middle of the visitors room still reeling and shocked to the core by her visit, but it kept a smile on his face for the rest of the day.

.....................................

**14 Days without Aaron.**

Robert scrunched up another sheet of paper into a ball and tossed it away, missing the bin like the rest just to further his irritation. The litter strewn carpet was growing by the minute as Robert struggled to find the right words. He tapped the pen relentlessly against the table willing for inspiration to hit him, but it never arrived. Instead all he felt was more anger bubbling under the surface.

He and Aaron had been forced apart two weeks ago and Robert had found himself lost. For so long Aaron had been his sole focus and without him he felt hollow. Everything seemed meaningless. Days ticked by and he found himself barely leaving the house, his brain numb and all he did was wait for the daily phone call from Aaron to come through. So he decided to give himself a task that morning to surprise Aaron with a letter, but that just brought all the emotions inside that he wanted to bury. He missed him badly. He was counting the days to the appeal.

A knock at the door gained his attention and he hoped the break from writing would do him some good. He was surprised to say the least to see Chas standing on the door step. Despite living in the same village for a while now they had both kept their distance, and any other Dingles either knew nothing of him or were avoiding him at all costs. He suspected it was the former. Judging from what Aaron had told him about his family he imagined if they knew of him they would have bashed his door down and chased him out of the village with pitchforks by now.

''Mind if I come in?'' Chas said as she barged inside and stepped across the Mill's threshold. ''I need a word.''

''Sure come in,'' Robert mumbled sarcastically under his breath, it wasn't as if had much choice seeing as Chas was well into the house in split second. ''What can I do for you, Chas?''

''You can explain to me why my son told me last night that you are no longer working at the prison?''

''What did he tell you?'' Robert asked cautiously. He didn't want to step on Aaron's toes or tell more than Aaron would want him to. At the end of the day if Chas wanted answers he felt they should come from Aaron, not from Chas going behind her sons back and grilling him instead.

''Nothing which is why I'm going out of my mind!'' Chas shrieked. ''That's what Aaron does isn't it? Tells you the bare minimum and tells ya to keep your nose out of the rest.''

Robert couldn't hide the grin as he could imagine Aaron's irritated scowl and rolling his eyes as he talked to his mum clear as day. ''Well I'm sure he's told you as much as he wanted to.''

''No, he was evasive. And now you are doing the same,'' Chas argued with a pointed stare. Robert felt he was under the microscope and being interrogated. All that was missing was her shining a light in his eyes and being tied to a chair. ''Have you broken up?''

''No! Of course not!'' Robert hated even hearing the words, his stomach flipping at the mere thought of losing Aaron. ''We're still together.''

''So why the hell have you left him in that place all alone?'' Chas yelled and Robert could see that she was deeply concerned for Aaron.

''Trust me I didn't want to leave, Aaron, but I didn't have a choice. So I left to protect him, okay?''

''Someone found out about your relationship didn't they?'' Robert had underestimated Chas' power of deduction and he reluctantly confirmed her suspicions. ''I warned Aaron that no good would come from being with you.''

''Oh thanks a lot!'' Robert snapped. ''Look I know you don't like me and that's fine, but don't ever underestimate how I feel about, Aaron.''

''Oh so you left for Aaron's sake, did you?'' Chas scoffed. ''I'm sure saving your own backside didn't factor into the equation at all, did it? This way you protect yourself and your career.''

Robert's heckles rose and he wouldn't stand idly by and be insulted in his home or have his feelings for Aaron questioned either. ''You think I give a damn about my career?'' Robert shouted. ''All I care about is Aaron! All I want is for him to come home to me!''

Chas was stunned by Robert's outburst and visceral reaction to her scathing words and for the first time she saw that there was more between Robert and Aaron than what she had previously believed. ''I'm sorry, okay? I know you've looked after him and I really am grateful.''

The red mist between them both vanished and Robert's weary body succumbed as he practically fell back onto the couch. ''I swear to you, Chas, I love Aaron. I made sure this place was all finished in time...''

''He's living here?'' Chas interrupted in a flash.

''Shit!'' Robert huffed. No doubt he would receive another earful and to make matters worse he had dropped Aaron in it because evidently Chas had no idea about Aaron's new living arrangements if he got released. ''I'm sure he was gonna tell you during your next visit. I'm sorry for just blurting it out.''

''How long has this been on the cards for?''

''Since Christmas. I gave him a key as a present.'' Robert couldn't stop memories of their Christmas day together flooding in and he felt a warmth and happiness spread through him. ''I bought this place so he would still be near you and the rest of the family.''

''You two don't hang about, do you?'' Chas replied as she took a seat beside Robert on the couch. ''I can't say I'm happy about how you two got together, but I can see it in Aaron's face how much he loves you. So if you're good enough for my boy then you're good enough for me too. And thank you for looking after him. I can see that you care.''

''He's the most important person in my life,'' Robert beamed, full of affection and love for his boyfriend. ''All I want is him.''

''Ya know I think I could end up liking you, Robert.'' They both shared an amused smile before Chas made herself more comfortable on the couch and stretched her legs out to rest them on the coffee table. ''Well what does it take to get a cuppa round here?''

''What?''

''Well I need to know more about the man who won my son's heart, don't I?'' Chas cackled. ''So flick the kettle on and we'll have a nice long chat.''

......................................

**20 Days without Robert.**

The negativity that Aaron had battled so valiantly against for so long had launched a resurgence and many doubts and fear had started to overwhelm him. Anxiety had him in its clutches, he found himself unable to switch off from what loomed in the days ahead and due to the endless racing thoughts sleep alluded him. His eyes stung and lids felt heavy, the black bags formed under his eyes and with every look in the mirror he could see the colour in them dulling. With every passing day he felt more lifeless, the energy draining from him at an alarming rate.

''Dingle?'' Fenwick rapped his knuckles loudly on the steel frame surrounding his cell door. 'Got a letter for you.''

''For me?'' Aaron questioned as he got off his bed and took the letter from Fenwick's hand. The only mail he had ever received during his stint behind bars had been from his lawyer with dates for meetings and court. ''Thanks.''

Fenwick rushed off to continue the mail delivery and Aaron closed his cell door and sat back on his bunk eager to discover who had written to him. He flipped the enveloped for multiple revolutions before he finally took notice of the handwriting across the front. His heart jumped into his throat and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he saw his name scribbled in a familiar scrawl. He tore at the envelope and clutched the letter in his fingers and started to read.

_Aaron,_

_It feels so strange having to write this letter and there's so much I wish I could say to you, but can't. I wish I could be there for you too, but you know? I really hope you know._

_Miss Snow called me the other day to let me know everything is in place and that she's really hopeful of a good outcome so stay postive and keep out of trouble. I promise I'm doing the same. In fact I even had a visit from your mum that was actually civil. She was still rather scary at first, but to be honest I think I've won her over! She questioned me for nearly an hour about my life back in Beckindale, my family and career, and how we got together of course. But don't worry I didn't tell her anything too embarrassing about you like how you love it when I nibble on your ear or kiss your neck in that one particular spot._

_I guess that's one Dingle down and only a million more Dingles left, right?_

_I miss you so much. I keep looking around this big house and picturing you here beside me curled up on the couch watching Top Gear and superhero movies together, waking up to see you peacefully asleep beside me. That's all I want, Aaron. You're all I want. We can have that. You're nearly there, just 2 more weeks. You've been so brave, you know that right? You're the strongest person I know._

_I can't wait to hold you, kiss you and wake up in bed with you. We can have all the lazy days you want. Breakfast in bed every day too. We never have to get out of bed if that's what you want. I just want you to be happy. I want to make you happy every single day. A while ago I told you I'm yours and it's true, Aaron, I am yours and I always will be._

_Keep your chin up. Two weeks then we'll have the rest of our lives together._

_R x_

Even without having Robert physically there he was still able to give him a lift when he was in desperate need. The last few weeks he had struggled, barely keeping his head above water as the shadows and negativity gripped him roughly around the throat, choking him, and depriving him of oxygen.

But now he felt he could breathe again. The stress eased from his muscles and he felt himself relax for the first time since that last night curled up with Robert in their makeshift den. He read back through the letter once, twice, thrice, his smile getting bigger every time as he read back over Robert's words.

He stored Robert's letter safely under his pillow it now being his most prized possession. The strength Robert gave to him and just the belief Robert had in him in black and white gave Aaron all the confidence and fight needed to take that final step, to walk into that courtroom and gain his freedom and his future with Robert.

**Only 8 days to go.**

..................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those boys break my heart! :( Liv has arrived and Chas certainly gave Robert a grilling! Aaron has managed to get to his appeal date, but what will happen in court?!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, the comments and kudos!
> 
> And if you want you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	24. Dreamers

 

The day had finally arrived.

The appeal hearing would commence and Aaron's entire future hung in the balance. All week he had bounced to and fro from being so nervous he felt he was liable to vomit at any moment to unparalleled excitement at the prospect of leaving HMP Hotten behind, walking away a free man and straight back into Robert's arms.

Unsurprisingly sleep alluded him on what he hoped would be his final night as a convict. All night he found himself lost in what could be; a life with Robert back in his home of Emmerdale village. His body tingled at the prospect and he felt his heart pump and swell just thinking of waking up in bed next to Robert. To coming back home day in and day out to a warm house, a loving kiss and dinner that Robert had cooked. He had every intention of putting Robert's skills to the test after he told him endlessly that he was a dab hand in the kitchen. He also wanted lazy days cuddled up on the couch watching TV, going to the Woolpack to have a drink, to walk through the village side by side with the man he loved. After everything he had been through he wanted the simple things in life more than anything else. He wanted domestic bliss. He wanted to make the dream that he and Robert coveted for so long a reality.

But with every dream of the future came the haunting possibility that he would be sent right back to the very cell he lived in for nearly 6 years. Every single time a beaming smile appeared he would crash back down to earth with a colossal bump. Aaron knew what he desired could still be snatched away. That the dream of a life with Robert would be nothing more than exactly that. A dream.

When the sun rose and illuminated his cell Aaron sat up on his bunk, looked longingly out the barred window and watched the orange hue spread along the horizon. A silent wish for this day to be the turning point in his life.

His cell was unlocked soon after with an officer passing on the very suit that he got sent down in. Aaron's heart sank as he stared down at the black material. It felt like a bad omen. That suit was from a life he wanted to erase, from a moment in time that he wished could be scrubbed out.

Aaron battled the negativity with the soothing memory of Robert's voice. During the previous nights call between them Robert urged him to stay positive and reminded him once more that he was the strongest person he knew. Hearing the belief in Robert's words was exactly what he needed and gave Aaron the confidence needed to face his demons, to stand up in that courtroom and tell the truth of the events that started when he was a child.

The butterflies in his stomach turned to eagles with the thought of finally getting to see Robert again after four long weeks without him. Aaron knew the very first thing he would do when he stepped into the dock would be to look up at the gallery and find Robert in the sea of people. All he wanted was his anchor and source of strength that would see him through the interrogation and recounting of the horrors he'd endured.

After getting dressed the escorting officers arrived and led him out of his cell. He picked up the small bag of personal affects that he was told to pack the night before and he took what he hoped would be the final walk down the stairs of E-wing.

A couple of inmates that were up at the crack of dawn to work in the kitchen wished him good luck and he shook Ronnie's hand who was stood at the gate. He glanced back taking in the all too familiar surrounding of E-wing wishing hard for it to be the last time he ever laid eyes on the place. It was in that moment Aaron realised he couldn't come back here. He wouldn't survive another 19 years of incarceration. Not now with so much waiting for him in the real world.

The journey to court was horrendous. Aaron was stuffed into the back of a police van with his hands bound with metal handcuffs that bit into skin and bone without mercy. He was jostled and thrown with every lurch of the engine. Aaron tried to remain calm, to not let the events of the day swarm him and for panic to set in. His heart rate picked up and he took heaving breaths to satiate his desperate lungs but his terror rose. As his body started to tremble the car came to a halt and the van door were flung open. Bright sunlight and a gentle breeze swept over him and Aaron felt himself breathe a little easier when he was free from the confines of the stiflingly hot vehicle. Within seconds he was guided into the building and through a maze of corridors before finally stopping in a room where Miss Snow was waiting his arrival.

..................................

Birds singing their morning tunes drew Robert out of the daze he had settled in. He had foregone any food, the nerves in his stomach making the notion of any food vomit inducing. Instead he chose to mainline coffee given he hadn't gained a wink of sleep. His eyes felt heavy and there was a thick haze of exhaustion, but nothing would keep him away from the appeal. The day had finally arrived where Aaron could come home with him and they could live a normal life without the shadows of HMP Hotten looming over them.

Aaron had come into his life and turned it upside down. Aaron changed everything for him and now he couldn't imagine a world without Aaron in it. The attraction towards Aaron sneaked up on him and it brought back feelings of insecurity and fear that he had attempted to bury long ago. But he couldn't fight what he felt for Aaron, it was all encompassing and in no time at all Aaron owned his heart.

His feelings toward Aaron risked the life that he had fought years to attain. He was within reach of having it all; the trophy wife, flash cars, the house on a hill and the status that came along with it, but he walked away. For a while Robert convinced himself that a choice needed to be made, but in reality there was never a choice. There was no competition. And never a doubt in his mind what he truly wanted to be in his future. It was Aaron and always would be. Aaron proved to him what love truly felt like. What it really meant to be head over heels in love with someone. What it was to find that one special person that lit up your entire world.

It had been a long time since Robert had felt like he really had something to lose, the last time being the day his father disowned and banished him from Beckindale forcing him to leave his family in his past. But losing Aaron would hurt even more. Losing Aaron would be incomparable. Aaron owned his heart and he was the first person he properly let down his barriers for since he lost his mother. From the day Sarah died Robert held others at arms length, never letting anyone past the myriad of defenses he had constructed around himself, but then Aaron came along. Which made the possibility of Aaron getting sent back to HMP Hotten and away from him all the more soul destroying.

Despite operating on auto-pilot all morning and with a fog surrounding his mind Robert managed to leave home on time. He could barely concentrate and found himself feeling so detached. He told himself day in and day out that he had to be a towering source of strength for the man he loved, but he felt so scared inside. The mounting pressure and anxiety driving him to his limit.

As he drove his car through the country lanes and edged closer to the outskirts of Hotten he felt the car unexpectedly jolt. He looked into the rear view mirror wondering if he hit a wild animal, but the road behind was completely clear. The vehicle felt off balance however and started to judder. Robert had a bad feeling in his gut and he huffed out in exasperation as he pulled over and parked on a grassy verge. He hopped out and his suspicions were instantly confirmed, he had a flat tyre.

Panicking he glanced at his watch to see that the appeal would start in just under half an hour. He couldn't be late, Aaron needed him there. He had to be there for him. Robert couldn't hold contain his emotions any longer as he reached his breaking point. All the pent up worry, pressure and fear that he battled hard to keep inside for Aaron's sake burst free and he found himself screaming into the wind. His voice carrying and echoing across the expansive farming land. Both fists pounded against metal, pain surging from his hands all the way to his elbows with the brute force. He hunched forward letting his palms now resting on the bonnet and let his emotions run free. He sobbed and let the tears run and fall from the tip of his nose onto the metallic hood of the Porsche.

.....................................

Aaron climbed the stairs into the dock with his knees nearly buckling under every step. The nervous energy had swept him up in their waves and kicked his panic into overdrive. His chest hurt as every beat of his heart felt like sledgehammer beating down and rattling his bones. He tried to remind himself that if he could get past the first hurdle he could do the rest as Miss Snow reiterated the plan minutes ago that she would call him to the witness box first to get it out of the way.

Whilst grateful that he wouldn't be kept waiting all day the prospect wasn't any less daunting. He tried to take a deep, calming breath and he rubbed his sweaty palms against his thighs before looking back over his shoulder to see Robert.

He scoured the gallery taking note of his mum, Paddy, Uncle Zak, Lisa and Belle, along with Cain and Adam who were all peering back at him. But the one person he needed above all others was missing. He felt a breath lodge in his throat as his eyes rushed back across every seat. He must've missed him somehow, but his heart sank when Robert was nowhere to be found. Aaron lost all focus and lost himself in the heartbreak of not having those familiar caring and loving green eyes gazing back at him.

He looked to his mum desperate for an explanation, for her to tell him that Robert was here, but all she did was shrug and shake her head. Aaron felt his future crumbling in front of him before it had even started.

...........................

''My lords the appellant Aaron Dingle appeals against his conviction of murder on the grounds of new evidence that wasn't given at the original trial and that the defense of provocation was never put to the trial jury. Therefore we submit that the original verdict of murder to be unsafe. Counsel would like to call Aaron Dingle to give the real account of not only what happened the night Mr. Gordon Livesy was killed, but also the horrifying acts that Aaron Dingle encountered as a child that attributed to the events of Gordon Livesy's death.''

The world snapped back into focus for Aaron the second Miss Snow started talking, but Aaron couldn't keep thoughts of Robert at bay. However he forced himself to concentrate and with baited breath he watched the Lord Chief Justice converse with his two fellow judges. Seconds stretched on for what felt like minutes and he felt the anxiety bubble and rise.

''Yes, the court will hear the evidence.''

Aaron exhaled with relief. The first hurdle had been jumped. He looked back over his shoulder to see his mother smiling with encouragement, but he barely saw her or any of the rest of the family. All he could focus on was the empty seat where Robert should be.

Once on the stand and sworn in Aaron's anxiety started to wrap around chest and pierce his heart. He felt breathless and unsteady on his feet. He gripped tightly onto the wooden box surrounding him, desperate to stay upright but the constriction around his chest sliced through flesh and bone. He felt dizzy and his vision blurred, the fear taking hold and screaming it would never let go. Bile rose up his throat and Aaron fought to swallow it down and prevent himself from vomiting.

He couldn't stand in front of them all and relive what Gordon had inflicted upon him. He couldn't feel dirty and ashamed all over again. He took a step back wanting to run, but he had nowhere to go except back to the cell he was desperate to escape from. Tears slipped free and Miss Snow's gentle prodding to get his attention was drowned out by blind panic.

Then suddenly the doors banged and Aaron followed everyone else's gaze up toward the gallery. Robert was rushing down the stairs to take the seat in the front row next to Chas. Robert's eyes found him instantly, his smile giving him the courage to fight on. Aaron wiped away his tears and turned back to Miss Snow and with a sharp nod he let her know that he was ready.

.............................

Reliving the hell he was put through while being questioned by Miss Snow wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as tough as Aaron believed it would be. Knowing that he had already told her, as well as Robert and his mum gave him the confidence he needed. Any time he wobbled he just had to look up to see Robert.

However the moment Miss Snow closed her questioning and the prosecution step up he felt the trepidation sink in. Miss Snow had prepared him well. He knew what to expect from them and he wouldn't allow them to discredit him. He knew the truth and he would tell it.

''You've been in prison how long, Mr. Dingle?''

''Nearly six years,'' Aaron answered with a confused hitch in his voice. He was knocked off kilter slightly by the strange opening salvo from the barrister.

''And in all that time you never once defended your actions before this appeal. In fact in the original trial you never offered any defense whatsoever, why is that?''

''I couldn't back then. I wasn't ready,'' Aaron answered with Miss Snow's advice of staying cool, calm and collected at the forefront of his mind.

''What weren't you ready for exactly? You mentioned feeling ashamed during the defense's questioning is it just that factor or it could it be that you're simply making these accusations up?''

''No...''

''You have spent years in jail,'' the prosecution interrupted, ''and with plenty of time on your hands you have come up with the perfect excuse to have your sentence reduced isn't that right?''

''I wouldn't lie!'' Aaron snarled feeling his hackles rise. ''I would never lie about something like that!''

''We only have your word for what happened as a child though don't we, Mr. Dingle? Just as we have to accept your version of events for what happened the night Mr. Livesy died. We cannot ask the man in question to defend himself as that man is dead! And he was murdered at your hand!''

''I didn't mean to kill him!'' Aaron bellowed. ''I just wanted him to stop!''

''You're a violent and temperamental man and you're record of violence shows that. Only this time you took a step too far. You hit your own father over the head and murdered him in cold blood!''

''No!''

''Yes! You have used these lies to besmirch an innocent victim and absolve your own heinous actions. Your history of violence shows the type of man you truly are Mr. Dingle. After being arrested for punching a man in the face and then later assisting that same mans death there really isn't such a big leap to cold blooded murder.''

''My lords that is irrelevant,'' Miss Snow objected. ''Mr. Dingle wasn't charged with Jackson Walsh's death and in fact had a relationship with the man. He clearly felt that Aaron Dingle wasn't a violent man.''

''I'm simply establishing a pattern of violent behaviour my lords,'' The prosecution fired back immediately.

''We will allow it.''

''Aaron Dingle you are a man who has shown numerous tendencies to resort to violence when things do not go your way and you could easily have snapped and gone too far. And that's what happened that night isn't it?''

''He raped me!'' Aaron yelled with all the will power he could muster. He wouldn't hide and he wouldn't feel ashamed any longer. ''He raped me time and time again when I was too young and afraid to stop him. And when he tried again I fought back for the first time. That night I felt like I was a kid again. I was helpless and I did all that I could to get him off me. I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted him to stop.''

Tears streamed down Aaron's face as he poured out all the heartache that had built inside him over the years. He tried valiantly to stop the tears and gasped in air to try and settle the anxiety building within. He glanced upward to see Robert fixated on him with tears in his eyes.

Aaron felt a resilience build. He had to be strong. He could be strong. And would be strong not only for himself, but for Robert too.

''It's certainly a convenient story however I would like to draw your attention your lords to Aaron Dingle's statement upon arrest for murder. After admitting his guilt Mr. Dingle in his own words stated 'I smashed the ornament over his head and my only regret is that it took only one blow.' I ask you is that the words of an innocent man?''

Aaron felt his stomach drop and the fight leave his body as his own words came back to haunt him. Back then he was determined to never let his secret out and if that meant making himself out to be a cold blooded killer then that was what he would resort to. But now he regretted every single word as they could be what swayed the decision against him.

The questioning was closed and Aaron was escorted back to the dock. He could sense it all cracking and falling apart right down to its foundations. The prosecution had torn him to shreds. The judges would look at him and see nothing but a criminal that deserves to rot.

Once again Aaron drifted from reality finding a safe haven within the memories he had shared with Robert, even if they now were tinged with hopelessness of never getting to make any more. The rest of the days evidence, including Sandra and Harriet's time on the stand, passed in a blur. Three hours after the appeal started the judge adjourned for half an hour before both sides gave their closing arguments.

........................

Every muscle in Robert's body was tense, he felt jittery with the anticipation of what was to come. Both he and Aaron had waiting so long for this day to arrive and now it had finally arrived every second was agony. Even more so now the judge had adjourned and prolonged the agony of waiting for a decision.

The Dingles had huddled together with them all discussing the events of the appeal so far and throwing in their opinions. Robert couldn't help but think that they looked like a formidable mob and didn't envy anyone who ever got on the wrong side of them. To be honest he was both surprised and relieved that the whole clan hadn't shown up on his doorstep to interrogate him about Aaron and their relationship once they discovered who he was. At least he assumed they knew who he was seeing as none of them had questioned why he was there in the front row sat next to Chas.

Besides one Dingle interrogation was enough quite frankly and Chas did admirable job during her relentless questioning of him 2 weeks ago. He didn't fancy having to go through the same with every Dingle family member. Especially not Cain who he had noticed had given him a few sharp and menacing glares since they had been cooped up in the corridor. In such close proximity however Robert had slowly managed to pick up everyone's names that were in attendance just by hearing snippets of conversation. Other than Cain's acknowledgment of him he had also been the recipient of friendly smiles from Lisa and Belle, but the rest had just ignored him.

With them all loitering whilst awaiting to be called back inside Robert kept to the outskirts of the group, isolating himself a little further down the corridor. That was until he heard the noise of high heels approaching. He didn't bother looking up knowing who it was.

''Fed up of us Dingles already, are ya?'' Chas smiled good humouredly as she sat beside him. ''If you're gonna be with our Aaron you best get used to that menagerie.''

''I'm not fed up I just wanted to give you all some space,'' Robert replied silently hoping Chas' change of location didn't bring any others along too. He wasn't in the right frame of mind to meet anyone. His sole focus was Aaron and as far as he was concerned everything else could wait.

''They all know who you are, Robert,'' Chas confirmed. ''I told them a few days back. I didn't want them all questioning me or you the moment you showed up.''

''Thank you. I can't say introducing myself was on the top of my list of things to do today,'' Robert joked halfheartedly. ''So how many of them already hate me?''

''Just a few,'' Chas cackled. ''Cain wasn't too thrilled to find out his nephew was screwing a screw, but I told him to get over it.''

''That would explain the death glares,'' Robert smirked. ''He best get over it because I'm not going anywhere.''

Chas smiled, but it faded fast and Robert could sense a drastic shift in mood and conversation coming. ''How do you think it's going in there?''

Robert wished he could ease her fears, as well as his own but truth be told he had no idea. ''I wish I knew. All I do know is that Aaron was amazing and he did so well on the stand. We just have to hope for the best.''

The announcement suddenly came that the adjournment was over and they could all return to the court room. Robert and Chas both took a deep breath before standing and following the rest of the Dingles back into the room.

As Robert took his seat he caught Aaron's eye and mouthed the three words he had been dying to tell him again and that he hoped he could tell him face to face soon. Aaron smiled back at him, but Robert could see that it didn't reach his eyes. Aaron looked so small stood all alone in the dock and all Robert wanted to do was hold him and whisper in his ear that it would be okay. That even if the unthinkable happened that the fight wasn't over. He would do all that he could to get him out of prison even though losing would destroy him too.

Miss Snow stood first to give her closing argument and to fight for Aaron's freedom. ''Aaron Dingle's actions on the night in question we do not dispute were the cause of Gordon Livesy's death, but in my submission Mr. Livesy's deplorable actions not only on the night he died, but all the times previously that he attempted and successfully raped his own son dating all the way back to when Aaron Dingle was nothing but a scared 8 year old boy amounted to provocation. Aaron Dingle did all that he could to stop the same horrific act happening again as an adult and the counsel for the appellant implores your lordships to uphold this appeal and let Aaron Dingle go free.''

''My lords,'' the prosecution commenced, ''the real question here is if Aaron Dingle unlawfully attacked Mr. Livesy with the intention of killing him. The Counsel for the crown argues that he did and it follows an escalating pattern of extremely violent behaviour. It is the crowns belief that Aaron Dingle had every intention of killing his estranged father and by his own admission intent was proven when he was arrested and showed no regret or remorse in his statement. Accordingly we feel the murder conviction is safe, the appeal should be dismissed and Aaron Dingle should serve the remaining nineteen years of his sentence.''

A discussion ensued between the three judges and silence fell within the courtroom. You could hear a pin drop. Time felt elastic and stretched on and on and on.

''The court will rise to consider it's verdict and will be adjourned until 8.30 tomorrow morning.''

...........................

Aaron sighed as he stepped back into his cell, the door slamming shut behind him and the thunk of the lock driving the knife deeper into his gut. He perched on his bunk, the wafer thin mattress was yet another stark reminder of all that he wanted to leave behind. That he wished he could've left in the past that day forever. Instead he was back to a place that had been home longer than anywhere else in his entire life. Aaron couldn't help but believe this was where he would stay.

After the judge had adjourned Miss Snow drilled it into him that often appeals were rarely accomplished over a single day. The fact the judge agreed to hear the evidence and that the appeal motion was granted was a positive sign. All too often convicted murderers pleas fell on deaf ears and were tossed aside and never had a chance to even get off the ground.

But despite the positive attitude of his legal representative and the unwavering support from Robert and his family Aaron couldn't help but feel disheartened. Being back inside, surrounded by grey walls, steel bars and barbed wire felt so constrictive like they would never let him go. The four walls around him had been all that he had known for too long and freedom seemed like a hopeless wish that would never be granted. Good things never happened in his life, or if they did they were fleeting. That was what Robert would be. That's what they had together would be. It would slip between his fingers like grains of sand and blown away by the wind until it became nothing but a distant and painful memory.

The cell door would always slam in his face. The steel bars would never break. The barbed wire would never blunt. The chains would never snap. He was stuck. This would be his life until the day he died.

Freedom was nothing but a dream of a fool.

..............................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for prolonging the agony even longer...
> 
> What will the decision be?!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, kudos etc it means so much to me <3
> 
> And if you wish you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	25. The Moment of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The verdict is in!

 

The morning came far too quickly. The heavy sense of dread and defeat had settled inside Aaron, had made itself home and drowned him from the inside over night. He didn't want to return to court and have his dream snatched away when it was within reach.

The anxiety and panic that he had the day prior was absent during the journey to the court, instead he just felt numb. Resigned to his fate. This time when Aaron stood back in the dock he couldn't bare to look back at Robert and his family. They were all going to be ripped away from him all over again and he just couldn't face adding any more memories to the litany that would already break his heart the moment the cell door slammed shut.

He knew for certain that the minute the judge gave the verdict and he was banished back to HMP Hotten he would avoid any eye contact with Robert. If he took just once glance at the man he loved it would tear him to shreds. He couldn't survive that. He wouldn't survive any more time behind bars knowing the man he wanted to spend his life with was on the other side.

As all in court were ordered to rise Aaron felt the hood being pulled over his head, the world disappearing from vision and turning to black. He desperately tried to blank out what he knew was the inevitable. Next came the noose that was draped around his neck which was then pulled tight. He held his breath, he stood still and waited for the floor to drop out from beneath his feet. For the rope to burn off his skin. For his tongue to loll. For his eyes to roll into the back of his skull. For his feet to kick as the oxygen was starved from his lungs.

He waited for the agonising end to his world. And his death note signed, sealed and delivered.

''My fellow judges and I have found this to be an incredibly complex and deeply troubling case and there is no doubt in our minds that the appellant Aaron Dingle was responsible for the death of Mr. Gordon Livesy in a truly violent manner. None of which has been disputed in this appeal by Aaron Dingle himself, however we are convinced that Aaron Dingle's actions were the result of extreme provocation that dated back to a horrifying childhood that he and no other innocent child should ever endure. Therefore this court rules that the original murder conviction is unsafe and will be substituted with that of manslaughter. We impose a reduced sentence of three years imprisonment. Time that has already been served. Aaron Dingle, you are free to go.''

Aaron was rooted to the spot. Nothing but white noise and the ferocious thumping of his heart in his ears. He stared blankly at the judge with tears pooling in his eyes. He dug his nails into his palms leaving angry red crescent shapes in their wake to make sure he wasn't dreaming. That it was real. That he could leave the court a free man. That the future he yearned for with Robert was now their shared reality.

Miss Snow broke the trance as she shook him gently by the shoulder and reiterated the judge's words that he was free to go. With a dry mouth and lump in his throat he stuttered out a thank you. Then the whooping and yelling hit him and the Dingle clan appeared just outside the court room.

Aaron practically leapt out of the dock and ran into the group who cheered and patted him on the back. His mums arms came around him, but his eyes were searching through the crowd. He pushed himself forward until he saw a wisp of blonde hair at the back of the rabble. The sea of the crowd split and Robert appeared looking unusually shy with tears shining in his eyes. Aaron beamed at him before sprinting into his arms that instantly locked around him in a fierce hug. They held each other, gently swaying as they nuzzled into each others shoulder.

''I missed you,'' Aaron whispered as he kissed Robert's neck.

''I missed you too,'' Robert replied as clutched even tighter to Aaron's body with the intention of never ever letting him go. ''I'm so proud of you.''

Aaron drew back and held a finger to Robert's lips. He took the man in; the blonde hair, the stunning green eyes, the patchwork of freckles across his nose and cheeks, to his pink and plump lips and chin dimple, Aaron was mesmerised and couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky. He tugged Robert by the lapels of his leather jacket and poured every ounce of love into the kissing him. Robert's hands slid down to Aaron's hips and he moaned quietly as Aaron's tongue ran along the seam of his lips and he acquiesced immediately and his tongue met Aaron's in a desperate lip lock that they had both craved.

When they broke their foreheads came together and their eyes sparkled and their smiles bright. Then came the round of whistling and hollering from the Dingle family. Aaron felt suitably embarrassed and his cheeks turned red, but found he didn't give a damn. He had Robert and together they had a whole future together just waiting for them.

.........................................

The Woolpack hadn't changed much although there were certainly more streamers, balloons and 'Welcome Home' signs than on the average day. Aaron was all smiles and appreciated the sentiment but he couldn't ignore the want in his heart to just spend some time alone with Robert. They had travelled back to the village in Robert's Porsche and they exchanged small talk, nothing too heavy, but Aaron wanted to. After being a closed book with a padlock around it Aaron wanted to change that with Robert. He had already taken massive steps to accomplish it and by Robert's own admission so had he. Aaron never wanted to lose that connection so as he gulped down the remainder of his pint he intended to whisk Robert away.

However that was easier said than done when the Dingle family were around. Another pint of beer was delivered to him and from the moment he had entered the Woolie he had been swarmed not only by family but by other villagers that welcomed him home. Through the throng of people he could see Robert sat out of the way in an empty corner of the pub with only a pint for company and Aaron tried to cut through and get to him, but then he was stopped in his tracks when Liv and Sandra stood in front of him.

''Liv,'' Aaron smiled as he greeted them both. ''I didn't see you at the court?''

''Mum wouldn't let me go,'' Liv answered with trademark teenager sass. ''So I got on the bus to come here instead.''

''Unfortunately she does that a lot. Never listens to anyone,'' Sandra said with a long suffering sigh. ''When I noticed she had left the house I found her at the bus stop and she wouldn't relent until she saw you.''

''I'm glad you've come,'' Aaron smiled at his younger sibling. ''Do you both fancy a drink? We've got a lot to catch up on.''

''I'm afraid we can't stay long,'' Sandra answered which Liv bitterly shook her head at. Aaron felt the tension between them, but didn't want to intervene. ''But one drink would be lovely, thank you.''

''Pint, please?'' Liv ordered, which had Aaron scoffing and telling her he'd get her an orange juice. As he reached the bar and gained Charity's attention, which was no easy feat as she had to be the worst bar woman ever, he looked over to see Robert talking to someone. Aaron moved his head back and forth to get a glimpse of who he was chatting to and was shocked to see Cain on the opposite side of the table.

...........................

Robert watched Aaron from afar enjoying the view of Aaron smiling and laughing with his family and friends. He could see a mile away that a massive weight had been lifted from his boyfriends shoulders, but lingering on the edge Aaron was overwhelmed at being the star of the show. He couldn't blame Aaron for that. After all he had gone from one extreme to the other; living a life that had been solitary for years with familial bonds for nearly six years and now every member of the Dingle clan was showing interest and questioning him about his time behind bars.

Robert could read Aaron well, he knew when Aaron would avoid eye contact, scratch at his brow or chew at his lip that he felt uncomfortable. He looked on as Aaron downed the last of his pint and shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, and he had every intention of whisking Aaron away from being the centre of attention, but then a young girl gained his attention and Robert assumed it must be his little sister, Liv. He decided to stay put in the corner when a pint was slammed down on the table in front of him.

Somewhat startled Robert's gaze snapped up to see Cain stood over him. ''What's this?''

''It's a pint,'' Cain retorted with well practiced sarcasm and bite. ''I just wanted to say we appreciate you looking out for Aaron in there, but I'm warning you now if you hurt him I'll break your legs.''

''That won't ever happen, Aaron means everything to me,'' Robert vowed.

''So I've heard from Chas,'' Cain practically sneered. ''but I'm not so easily won over especially when it comes to people like you.''

''People like me? What's that supposed to mean?'' Robert asked already formulating retorts in which to defend himself. He had no desire to rock the boat and cause a rift between himself and the Dingles, but he wouldn't sit by and let Cain abuse and try to intimidate him.

''Yeah the likes of you, a flipping screw!'' Cain snarled with disgust. ''Suppose it could be worse though, you could be a copper.''

''First of all I'm not a screw anymore and I didn't wanna be in the first place. The only reason I stayed in that job was to be with Aaron,'' Robert sat forward crossing his arms on the table top and stared Cain down. ''And as far as my and Aaron's relationship goes that's none of your business. But I'll make it clear for you, Cain, I'm not going anywhere. I plan on being with Aaron, living with Aaron and having a future with Aaron.''

Cain seemed momentarily stunned by Robert not backing down or showing any sign of intimidation. They both seemed to engage in a silent battle in the field of a staring contest before Cain scoffed and smirked at him. ''Maybe you're not as bad as I thought after all, Sugden. Besides our Chas has given you the benefit of the doubt so I will too. For now.''

Robert shook his head at the caveat. ''Wow, thanks.''

''Oh, don't thank me.'' Cain stood suddenly casting a shadow across Robert, ''like I said you step one foot out of line and you'll have me to deal with.''

''And like I said it won't happen, I love, Aaron.'' Robert said pointedly, meaning every single word. ''He's everything to me.''

''Spare me the sickening love hearts and romance.'' Cain stared a hole right through him. ''All I'm saying is look after him.''

Cain stomped off back to his corner where Moira was situated giving Robert one final scowl before becoming engrossed with whatever Moira was saying. He left Robert questioning if their was an issue between them. The tension was clearly detected, and he doubted that would vanish anytime soon. He felt as though Cain had put him on trial, that he had tests he needed to pass before Cain would truly accept him and forget any ties he had to the law enforcement world. Robert would never grovel or fight for acceptance from Cain, but he had every intention of gaining it simply by loving and protecting Aaron. That was and always would be his first priority.

Speaking of Aaron he had quickly rushed after seeing Cain and his boyfriend talking. He quickly handed Liv and Sandra their drinks and after a brief conversation he excused himself to see Robert. ''Are you okay?''

''Of course I am,'' Robert smiled adoringly. ''Got you, haven't I?''

Aaron chuckled and gave him a peck on the lips as he sat beside Robert in the booth. ''What did Cain want?''

''Nothing much. He was just giving me a reminder of what would happen to me if I ever hurt you,' Robert explained. Truth be told his first encounter with the notoriously intimidating and stoic Dingle had gone slightly better than he had anticipated. Plus any tension he hope would thaw with time.

The confrontation didn't go down well with Aaron however who sprung to his feet ready to defend Robert and tell anyone and everyone exactly what Robert had done for him.

Robert noticed the fire in Aaron's eyes instantly and tugged his arm to sit him back down. ''Hey, it's alright, Aaron, he's just being protective. Every Dingle can warn me if they like, but it doesn't matter because I'll never hurt you. All I ever plan on doing is loving you and making you happy.''

That familiar warmth that bloomed when Robert looked at him or told him how he felt settled in his chest. ''You already do.''

Aaron stroked a thumb across Robert's cheek, drowning in the affection that Robert so freely bestowed upon him before taking his breath away with a loving kiss. Aaron's body tingled knowing he could kiss Robert whenever and wherever he wanted to now.

''Urgh, I just threw up in my mouth a little,'' Liv said looking deeply unimpressed with her brother. ''Is this your boyfriend?''

Aaron chuckled at her brazenness before nodding. He turned to Robert beaming and introduced them. ''Liv, this is Robert. Robert, this is my little sister, Liv.''

''Nice to meet you,'' Robert greeted her.

''You look too much of a pretty boy, you can't have met inside?'' Liv questioned with incredulity.

''Liv!'' Aaron chastised. He had a feeling he had a lot to learn about his sisters personality in the months to come. They had swapped contact information at the bar and Aaron even suggested she could visit and stay sometime if Sandra agreed to it.

''I was just saying!'' Liv shrugged. ''So how do you know, Aaron?''

''It's a long story,'' Robert chuckled uncomfortably. He didn't really fancy regaling the story of his and Aaron's relationship to his little sister and luckily any interrogation Liv had planned was thwarted as Sandra insisted it was time to go. With reluctance Liv listened to her mother and with a hug Aaron said goodbye.

Now that they were alone and the fascination with him had died down considerably Aaron took his chance. He nudged Robert in the shoulder and jutted his head to behind the bar. ''Follow me.''

Robert smirked as Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled him along as they snuck behind the bar undetected and slipped into the back room. ''Don't you wanna stay with your family?''

Aaron looked back over at his shoulder with his blues eyes sparkling. ''I've got somewhere else I'd rather be. And someone I'd rather be with. Alone.''

Their lips met briefly before they were startled by Chas who busted the escape plan. ''Off somewhere?''

''Sorry, mum. I just wanted...''

''It's fine, love. I haven't seen ya. Just make sure you come round for tea tomorrow so I get to see ya.'' Chas smiled at them. ''So I get to see the both of ya.''

''We'll be here,'' Robert answered as he squeezed Aaron's hand.

''Thanks, Mum.'' Aaron rushed over and gave her a quick hug before he tugged Robert along again and outside of the pub.

Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron's waist as the mid afternoon sun bathed them in bright light. ''So do you fancy going home?''

..........................................

''Left, forward, forward,'' Robert instructed with his hands over Aaron's eyes. ''Stop. Keep them closed.'' Robert dug around his pocket to find his keys and opened the front door and guided Aaron inside. ''Okay, you can open them.''

Aaron's eyes widened as he took in the surroundings of his and Robert's home. He was stood in the living room where the walls were a dark shade of blue, the furniture similar or black. The couch was used almost as a divide between the room and the kitchen as the ground floor was all open plan. The kitchen was vastly different to the one he was used to at the Woolpack. This one you had space to actually move. The kitchen had lighter tones, a contrast to the living room with predominately white kitchen cabinets, drawers and work tops.

''Robert, this is amazing!'' Aaron marvelled.

''Do you like it?'' Robert asked nervously. Ever since the work had been completed on the Mill he had been second guessing his choices and wondering if Aaron would approve.

''I love it,'' Aaron turned to him with a look of bewilderment. ''I can't believe you did all this. You've done so much for me, Rob.''

''You've done so much for me,'' Robert countered, but Aaron just rolled his eyes not believing a word. ''You have, Aaron. You helped me accept who I am. You helped me move out my dad's shadow and the expectations he put on my shoulders. You gave me happiness like I've never known before. And you gave me unconditional love that I hadn't felt since my mum died. You are so special to me, Aaron. You're my world.''

''Soft lad,'' Aaron chuckled as he tugged Robert into his arms. ''You're my whole world too.''

''It's been a big day. How are you doing?'' Robert finally asked. He had been wanting to pull Aaron aside and make sure he was coping with the culture shock and being the centre of attention for hours.

''I'm okay now. The party was a little too much, I just wanted to ease back into...life.'' Aaron shook his head still unable to fathom that he was stood in his own home and not his cell.

''Sorry. I didn't know about the party until Chas mentioned it after the verdict came in.''

''It's okay, I showed my face and hopefully everyone will leave me alone for a few days so I can settle back in. I'm planning on hibernating in here for a while. The only person I want around me is you.''

''I'm so proud of you, you know that right?'' Robert proclaimed. He was in awe of Aaron's strength and how he had gone through so much and survived it. ''You're incredible.''

''Shut up,'' Aaron bashfully replied as he turned his head away.

''I mean it. You're so strong. You're so brave. So caring and loving. I fall more in love with you every single day.''

Aaron looked deep into Robert's eyes and he knew that whatever happened in life he and Robert were meant to be. ''I love you so much, Robert Jacob Sugden.''

''I love you too, Aaron Dingle.''

Their lips met and they melted into each other, any sense of fear or worry now completely removed. They could be together now. No risk of being found out, no fear of Jason and the gang, and Aaron had taken a massive step in containing his demons from his past.

''You wanna see upstairs?'' Robert asked.

''Yeah about that,'' Aaron pointed to the metal spiral staircase. ''What the hell is that?''

''Yeah I kind of regret that choice,'' Robert laughed. ''I've already tripped both up and down the damn thing. It's a deathtrap!''

.......................

It hadn't taken long for them to fall into bed after Robert had given him the tour of the two spare bedrooms, the bathroom and then their room and their en-suite. Once in their bedroom Robert had gotten a little nervous and made it clear to Aaron that if he needed space to acclimate to the vast changes that had impacted his life that day then he would happily sleep in one of the guest rooms and Aaron could have theirs. That worry was put to rest immediately when Aaron claimed Robert's lips in a demanding kiss.

Now both were naked and wanton with Aaron letting out choked gasps as Robert mouthed at his hip bone whilst stretching him open with two fingers that expertly curled inside of him to graze maddeningly against his spot. Their kisses had become sloppy, open mouthed, a clash of swirling tongues. Hands clutching and caressing ever inch of skin as they reacquainted themselves with every contour of each others bodies. Both felt utterly enslaved to their arousal for each other.

''Don't,'' Aaron whispered huskily as he grasped Robert's hand that held a condom in it. Aaron felt like he was floating, weightless and free and all that comprised his world was the man above him. Aaron took the condom and chucked it back into the bedside drawer. ''I wanna feel you.''

''Are you sure?'' Aaron answered with a roll of his hips, brushing his leaking dick against Robert. Robert's body vibrated with unadulterated lust as Aaron's bright blue eyes sparkled as he bit at his lip seductively. He brushed his digits over Aaron's prostate once more before slicking his erection and he moaned in relief as he pushed inside Aaron.

Aaron back arched off the bed as he welcomed every inch of Robert inside of him. He hummed in delight, his entire body on fire, sharing intimacy with Robert just felt so right. It had been such an emotional and physical pain being apart from him. He found himself missing every little thing, from Robert's floral shirts to the smell of him. From the wonderful sound of his laugh to gazing into his eyes. From his beautiful to the warmth of his soft skin. Robert was everything to Aaron. Robert wasn't just his boyfriend and lover. Robert was home.

A spark ignited in Robert's chest, an emotional current that made his heart flutter as he watched Aaron's chest and face flush as he lost himself in the throes of passion. He had never seen anything more beautiful than Aaron uninhibited and dazed with lust and knowing that he elicited that in Aaron turned the heat in his own body into an inferno. His hand ran over every ridge of Aaron's ribs, across his lightly haired stomach and through the copious amount of pre-cum leaking from the tip of Aaron's dick. He sucked on his finger his own cock throbbing as the taste lingered on his tongue. He took a rough hold of Aaron's hips and he rolled them both so his Aaron was now riding him and they were so in sync that their rhythm never faltered.

Aaron smirked down at Robert as his palms pushed down onto Robert's glistening chest and he started a slow teasing pace. Both were so engrossed in the feel of each others bodies, they didn't want to rush and for the very first time they didn't have to. Their was no risk anymore and no fear of getting caught lingering in the back of their minds and they shed any reservations as they revelled in each other like never before.

''You're so beautiful,'' Robert breathed out in awe, which was followed by a guttural moan as Aaron tightened his velvet walls around him edging him even closer to his climax. Having nothing between their bodies made the moment feel all the more important, to have Aaron's body surrounding him with no barrier was heaven. ''Fuck, you feel so good.''

''So do you,'' Aaron replied with a gasp as Robert found his prostate with every downward motion. Feeling his impending orgasm brought forth a quicker speed in Aaron's movement and his heavy, throbbing cock bobbed, slapping off Robert's stomach adding to the soundtrack of both their sharp and staggered breathing and increasing loud and drawn out moans. ''I'm so close.''

Robert sat up suddenly with Aaron falling into his arms a choked moan echoing into Robert's ear as Aaron's head fell into the crook of his neck. Aaron threaded his arms under Robert's and clutched at Robert's sweaty back as they gently rocked together with Robert's cock now relentlessly grazing back and forth over Aaron's spot. Robert mouthed at Aaron's neck, biting, sucking and licking at the spot that always turned Aaron to jelly. Aaron threw his head back and let out the most erotic moan that sent Robert hurtling over the edge. Both hands grabbed at Aaron's cheeks as he spilled inside Aaron's tight and fluttering hole. The feeling of Robert cumming inside of him was too much and with desperate need Aaron took himself in hand and jerked his dick rapidly and joined his lover in ecstasy as he came in thick spurts over his fist and both their stomachs.

With heaving chest and sweat slicked bodies they kissed and held each other close not wanting the tendrils of pleasure to end just yet. Their kisses were languid and slow and degenerated into nothing more than a swirl of tongue and brush of lips as the adrenaline waned and their exhausted bodies collapsed back onto the mattress.

Robert's softening dick slipped free and Aaron keened at the loss, but he quickly found himself comfortably wrapped up in Robert, with his head on his chest and the bed sheet pulled over him. He felt his eyes grow heavy and sleep luring him. ''I'm sleepy.''

''Close your eyes,'' Robert whispered as he rested his head on top of Aaron's. All the sleepless nights had finally caught up to him as well and he felt sleep beckoning him.

''I love you,'' Aaron mumbled into Robert's chest as he placed a gentle kiss over Robert's heart.

''I love you too.'' Robert kissed into Aaron's curls and hugged him tighter into his body.

The nightmare was finally over for Aaron. He had gained his freedom not only from HMP Hotten, but in a large part from Gordon too. Now Aaron could dare to dream. In fact he didn't even have to dream anymore because Robert was solid and warm right next to him. The dream he had craved was now his reality. He had the future he cherished and desired and he couldn't wait to start living it.

Aaron's breathing got heavier and heavier and Robert knew the man he loved had drifted off to sleep. He kissed him once more and just before he joined him in a deep and restful sleep he whispered, ''welcome home, Aaron.''

.....................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is free! Robert and Aaron are reunited! And they have the future they both dreamed of! 
> 
> I really hoped you liked this chapter and again I just want to say thank you for all the comments, kudos, bookmarks etc, I appreciate it so much. I just wanted to let you know as well that this is the penultimate chapter of the story with just an epilogue to go!
> 
> If you want you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


	26. Epilogue: The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here is it, the final chapter!

 

 

_**One Year Later** _

 

Aaron couldn't believe twelve whole months had gone by since he became a free man. A year to the day that his life with Robert truly began and neither of them had looked back. Not a day had passed where he hadn't felt a sense of bliss that he got to wake in bed wrapped up in Robert's arms.

He did learn though that Robert was a bit of a neat freak and his previous admission of being a bit of a nerd when it came to superheroes and science-fiction was a drastic understatement considering the level of merchandise, comic books and DVD's that cluttered the house. On the whole though there hadn't been much of a learning curve in living with Robert. Everything just seemed to naturally fit and feel right.

It did take a few weeks for Aaron's body to forget the strict prison regime of waking up at the crack of dawn and turning the lights out at 9pm, but other than that he had adjusted to life outside HMP Hotten well. Although less questioning from his family and the villagers about his stint locked up would've been preferable. Luckily that died down pretty soon after his return. No doubt he became old news the second a new drama unfolded within Emmerdale.

Upon his release Aaron sought out a counsellor that helped him deal with the fallout of having his past become public knowledge and fully coming to terms with it. It was a decision that Robert fully supported him on and Robert never missed a single one of his sessions. He always stayed for the duration outside and even joined a couple of times when Aaron's counsellor suggested it. After nearly 6 months of sessions Aaron actually felt like his demons had been vanquished and whilst he knew he could be prone to the odd wobble he truly had moved on and embraced the happiness that had come into his life.

Robert himself gained something from the sessions too and found the courage to make contact with his family. He made a few visits to Beckindale to see Diane and Victoria before too many questions about his life scared Robert into keeping his distance for a while. Aaron knew Robert was afraid to reveal his sexuality to them and it all stemmed from the actions of his father all those years ago. Aaron hated that those issues still lingered and was determined to help Robert through them. It took a lot of persuading and gently pushing his boyfriend along, but eventually Robert revealed their relationship and him being bisexual with Aaron stood right by his side. Both Diane and Victoria embraced him and told him that it didn't matter as his sexuality was irrelevant. All they wished was for him to be happy which Robert assured them he was and Aaron seemed to be a big hit with them both. Or so Robert told him anyway.

That trip to Beckindale turned out to be his final visit as during the late summer Diane and Victoria made the decision to move from Beckindale and into Emmerdale village. Robert never said it but Aaron could see how thrilled he was to have his family so close by. Diane soon opened up a B&B and Vic made the most of her culinary expertise by becoming a chef in the Woolpack. Not to mention starting up a relationship with Aaron's best friend Adam Barton.

They weren't the first new arrivals into the village however. Another unexpected change to their lives occurred when Liv showed up on their doorstep only two months after Aaron's release. Early one morning there was a pounding on the front door and both Aaron and Robert, who were both still half asleep, were greeted with Liv barging in with a bag of belongings asking to move in. Liv's mum had shocked her by telling her they would be moving to Ireland and to say his little sister wasn't keen on the plan was an understatement. Once Sandra arrived mere hours later a heated argument ensued between mother and daughter and Aaron stood warily on the sidelines not wanting to intervene or overstep the mark. The only interjection he made was that if Liv wanted to stay and Sandra agreed then he was happy to have her there. Sandra wasn't receptive to the idea but after an apparent heart to heart with Liv she reluctantly changed her mind. An agreement was made that Liv would visit her mother during most school holidays and if she ever became too much trouble she would be back with her over in Ireland.

Liv's unexpected arrival certainly burst the loved up bubble they had been living in since Aaron's release and Aaron could tell Robert was rather hesitant about having a tearaway teen in the house. Liv hadn't exactly helped matters as she relentlessly gave Robert a tough time for a couple of months by constantly pushing his buttons and irritating him. Robert certainly gave as good as he got and often Aaron felt stuck in the middle. What Aaron hated most was how it had caused a slight rift between him and his boyfriend and as much as he wanted to connect and have his sister in his life it wouldn't be at the cost of losing Robert. So within a few months of Liv's arrival he sat her down and explained exactly how much Robert meant to him, all that Robert had done for him when he was behind bars and what he still did for him every single day. Thankfully Liv seemed to soften toward his boyfriend, in fact somewhere along the way a bond formed between them. Both would inevitably deny it if Aaron ever brought it up, but he could see the sibling like affection they had for one another nowadays. And most of the time they now worked as a team to tease and annoy him!

After a few months of spending far too much time in bed together and vegging out on the couch Robert started job hunting and ultimately found a local opportunity that made full use of his business acumen. He became co-owner with Jimmy and Nicola King in their haulage company, Home James. Aaron followed soon after and jumped straight back into working at the Dingle family garage. It satisfied him for a little while, but after years of being banged up Aaron felt the need for more. An out of the blue conversation in the Woolpack with Adam about setting up a business resulted in a new direction into the world of scrap. Robert helped them get off the ground by investing and soon Holey Scrap was born. What made the job even better was that Holey Scrap and Home James decided to share a portacabin at the back of the Dingle family home which meant Aaron and Robert could spend the day together and sneak in all the kisses they wanted to. Aaron still did the odd shift at the garage too if only to keep Robert happy by coming home in his overalls smelling of a oil, sweat and his own unique scent. Plus Robert calling him his 'dirty little grease monkey' was an added bonus and a nickname that seemed to stick. At least between the two of them.

The Dingles quickly accepted Robert into the family and even Cain had thawed towards him. Chas invited them both and Liv round for a roast dinner most Sunday's and helped to wrangle Liv when she pushed at the boundaries they set. The majority of their first Christmas was spent with the Dingles up at Wishing Well where they enjoyed Christmas dinner and wasted hours playing board games and charades. It was also when Robert discovered a taste for the special Dingle Christmas beverage. Aaron had to ban him after he put away at least five Snowballs and whispered a reminder of the promise Robert made early that morning about giving Aaron his final present that night in bed. A task he wouldn't be able to carry out if he necked anymore snowballs...they were lethal! Robert gave him that familiar sexy smirk and immediately turned down Charity's offer of another and gave Aaron a cheeky wink and kiss on the lips.

Speaking of Christmas Robert and Liv had gone slightly mad with decorating the Mill. They had practically converted it into Santa's grotto. In every direction there were decorations and lights. They even had inflatables in the garden! In Aaron's opinion it looked more like an explosion in a Christmas factory but it made them both happy and that's all that mattered to him.

Aaron's birthday soon followed and he was floored when Robert unveiled his main present; a car! Aaron had no vehicle after his release and was desperate to be back behind the wheel. It wasn't just any car either it was the one Aaron had mentioned wanting months ago. When April rolled around Aaron was desperate to reciprocate for Robert's birthday and surprised him with a fortnight away. No village, no work, no family, just the two of them for two whole weeks in sunny Spain.

Now a whole year had gone by in a flash and Aaron had never felt happier. He wanted to celebrate. He started a whole new life the second he stepped out of that court room and Robert was the one that got him there. Robert was the one that made him fight for his freedom. Now Robert gave him even more. He gave him happiness. He gave him so much love. Aaron wanted Robert to know just how special he was and how much Aaron truly loved him too.

Aaron heard the gravel crunching and knew Robert was returning home. He dimmed the lights and rushed two plates of casserole from the oven and set them down on the table in front of the couch.

''Aaron, are you home?''

Robert walked in and instantly stopped when he saw Aaron stood in front of a makeshift den. Bed sheets had created a roof that stretched from the staircase all the way over to the couch. Their duvet was on the floor along with a collection of pillows and cushions.

''Thought I'd take a leaf out of your book.''

Robert looked around in wonder with a big grin on his face. ''You didn't have to do all this.''

''I wanted to show how much you mean to me,'' Aaron replied nervously biting at his lip. ''I know I'm not the best at voicing my feelings all the time but I need you to know that I love you so much.''

Robert tugged Aaron forward by his hoodie and pecked him on the lips. ''I love you too.'' Robert jutted his head toward the multicoloured lights. ''Are those our Christmas lights?''

''Yeah, I kind of merged our prison Christmas day and the den you made in your office together. Both meant so much to me and I couldn't believe you went to so much trouble...''

''You were worth it,'' Robert vowed as he gazed into Aaron's shining eyes. ''Always will be.''

''Well I thought it was my turn to show you just how much you mean to me,'' Aaron turned to look around at the den. ''Liv helped with the construction. And Vic is responsible for the food so you don't have to worry about getting food poisoning from my cooking.''

Robert chuckled and gave Aaron another kiss before sitting down in the heart of the den. Aaron had many talents, but cooking certainly wasn't one of them. Unless it was toast. He could manage toast. Robert on the other hand was pretty decent in the kitchen. Aaron always wondered if it was a Sugden trait.

Aaron followed Robert inside all the while trying to calm the constant flutter of butterflies in his stomach. He sat opposite Robert and gazed lovingly at the man of his dreams. The man he would spend his life with. His soulmate.

''Is this because it's a year to the day since you were released?''

''Partly. I wanted to celebrate that and what an amazing year it's been, but I also wanted to look forward to the next one as well. Which leads to me the next surprise.'' Aaron fidgeted still feeling incredibly nervous as the hidden item practically burned a whole through his pocket.

''There's another surprise?'' Robert beamed. ''Well I'm being spoiled.''

''Well hopefully you'll like it.''

''If it's from you I know I will.''

With a deep breath Aaron began, ''Rob, this last year has been the best of my life and that's all because of you. You are everything to me and I can't imagine being without you.''

''Me either.''

Aaron dug around his hoodie pocket and produced a black velvet box. He met Robert's shocked, sparkling eyes and revealed the simple but perfect silver band inside. ''Robert Jacob Sugden will you marry me?''

''Yes,'' Robert answered emphatically. ''Yes of course I'll marry you!''

The next chapter of their future was then sealed with a passionate, loving and all consuming kiss.

.....................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year later and they are completely and madly in love! And Aaron proposed! Robron have their happily ever after <3
> 
> I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their support on this story. Thank you for every hit, kudos, bookmark, comment, I appreciate it so much! It's quite a bittersweet feeling saying goodbye to this story, but it had to come to an end sometime and more Robron stories will be on the way too!
> 
> Once again THANK YOU! 
> 
> And if you want you can follow me on Twitter @brokenspell77


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